I don't want to wake up anymore. Everyday I do nothing and when I try to do something it ends terrible. Everyone of my efforts seem worthless. Liffe is like a big joke, but I'm not part of it. Maybe someone is actually watching me and the movie will end when I kill myself. I don't even feel like a person anymore, so why does it have to be like this?
Get medication, Anon. You need it.
>>28996479
Nobody would want to watch you, anon-kun.
Having said that... yes, life is a huge fucking pointless joke. So, you might as well find something fun to do wth your time. Build things. Play video games. Whatever. Enjoy the pointless joke while it lasts, mate.
kys if you want but don't sexualise Frejya
>>28996509
I don't really think I need medication, I don't really see how it would help. There are drugs with stronger effects, so medication seems worthless. I actually thought about getting plastic surgery to turn into another person, maybe someone will like me like that and my script will change.
>>28996538
Nothing really is enjoyable, I tried to indulge myself in my older interests and find new ones, but nothing is pleasurable anymore. It feels like someone changed my brain so that everything seems like a hassle.
>>28996548
Ok
>>28996619
You sound quite depressed. Do you feel depressed? Or just apathetic? You probably feel like you lack purpose, and you have no direction, too.
>>28996479
I also feel like I'm being watched and that I'm in a simulation. I wonder if killing myself will make me wake up. I seriously can't handle going outside because then I feel it more
>>28996619
Freya is top tier cute
I know how you feel, OP.
I wake up every day feeling more tired than what I was when I went to bed, I feel no motivation to do anything, forcing myself to do stuff in a attempt to "fake it until I make it" just made me think about suicide non-stop, instead of just when I'm not distracting myself. I have crippling social anxiety that puts me on the verge of panic attacks whenever I'm in public, I'm completely autistic so when I'm comfortable around someone, I still can't talk to them. I also make people hate me naturally when I do try force myself to engage the few people who talk at me online, it's like I'm doing it on purpose but just can't see that I am.
I am not human, I am a fundamentally flawed thing who wasn't meant to exist in the first place.
>>28996665
I never considered myself depressed. It's more like a numb feeling, maybe some sort of apathy. I tried to find a direction, but everything seems really bothersome. I would just progress without a goal, having no end. Standing still seems like a better alternative.
>>28996697
I'm forced to go outside, it is unbearable. Something which helped me is to stop thinking about yourself as a person, just be a observer too. Look at people and try to imagine what they want to do. It is a way to fill my thoughts and stop thinking about the audience. Maybe I can turn everything around like that.
>>28996720
Yes
>>28996726
I'm different in that way that I don't have a problem with being hated by others. I think the optimal friend would be just someone I sit in the same room with, we both are doing our own thing. The physical presence would remind me that I'm a person too, but almost never interacting with each other means it won't get uncomfortable. And maybe our flaws are just part of us and we will be unable to change them without changing our whole identity. I often feel like a broken prototype, that I shouldn't be here anymore because everyone is a better developed version. It's hard to explain.
>>28996797
My problem is when I look at people I start wondering if they're real or not. I have a lesson today but I'm thinking of skipping because I don't think I'll be able to stand being in the bus without going ape shit
What's the point of doing anything at all?
2 years after your death people will stop talking about you and bringing you up in their conversations.
10 years after your death people will stop mentioning you at all, as if you've never even existed.
100 years after your death everyone who ever knew who you were will also have died.
Life itself is completely pointless.
>>28996838
That's why I said that becoming an observer or part of the simulation could help. I just stopped thinking about myself a person and don't think I'm actually real anymore. Sometimes you panic because other people notice you or you see bodyparts like your hands or a reflection of yourself, but otherwise it made it much easier, atleast for me. But if you seriously can't do it, stay at home, going outside could just make it worse for you.
I know what you feel, OP. People like us. We're just stray dogs on the sides of some highway.
Dirty, filthy, unlovable. And death is comforting
>>28996921
Thanks anon. I keep telling myself that I'm thinking it ironically but this life seems so bizarre and fake at times. I feel like I was put here for a reason, probably to witness the world going to pieces and to have my reaction studied
You should try catfishing as a girl on OKCupid or MeetMe or some dumb app. It made me feel wanted for once by people.
>>28996797
Sounds like you are having an existential crisis. This isn't the end, is it?
>>28996619
People who don't think medication will help are universally wrong. That feeling of helplessness is part of depression, and you have to muster the strength to go get yourself treated.
>>28996797
I don't really have a problem with being hated, it's more that being hated by people feeds into my already existing views of myself because it's not something I'm intentionally doing or something that happens with a normal people.
>>28997057
Fuck you disgusting kike. It was SSRI that made me feel just like OP is feeling now. It permanently fucked up my brain and made me unable to ever feel happiness again.
>>28996479
Into each life some rain must fall.
But some day the sun will shine.
>>28996918
How are people able to live their life? I always see everyone doing stuff, having a job, building relationships, but it seems so unrelatable.
>>28996950
Death seems like the true neutral thing in this world. People always fear it, but it's nice to know that there is something else besides this state.
>>28996961
I did the same, "I'm just thinking these things ironically, no way I would have serious thoughts like that". After some time you realize that this is you. I sometimes felt the same, that I'm here because someone is studying me, but now it's more like some sort of movie.
>>28996976
I don't think I want to feel wanted by people.
>>28997025
I'm not sure if this is something like an existensial crisis. And I mean, this movie has to end one day, the audience is probably already really bored, maybe I have to end it with a spectacle so the people who stayed till the end feel like it was worth it.
>>28997057
But maybe I don't want help? I can't really see how medication would help besides maybe artificially changing me.
>>28997082
Maybe it helps you too to stop thinking of yourself as a person, just embrace that you aren't compatible with anyone. I don't really know how to help you anon. Was there ever anyone who wanted to willingly talk with you or something? Maybe you aren't as unredeemable as you think.
>>28997128
I've tried to disconnect myself from these feelings, but I just can't actually do it. I always get caught up on how fucking broken I must be to function like this.
There have been a few people that I've let try talk to me, it usually ends with them not talking to me after the first conversation because I refuse to ever talk to anyone first, the other few just wind up talking at me for a little bit and I never really actually *talk* with them.
>>28997244
Disconnecting yourself would be good, but it would make you less human, which is unbearable for most people. Have you ever thought about what maybe is wrong with you and why everyone starts to hate you? That could be a step into some sort of positive development. Why do you refuse to talk with other people first, do you maybe think you will be bothersome? I'm not really in the state to give other people advice, so disregard anything which doesn't sound okay to you.
>>28996797
>I never considered myself depressed. It's more like a numb feeling, maybe some sort of apathy. I tried to find a direction, but everything seems really bothersome.
I've been feeling something like this for a little while now. I know I could achieve something if I wanted to, but I don't have the motivation to do much of anything.
People keep telling me life is worth living. But my "friends" hardly feel like actual friends. They're there to tell me "Hey anon, life is worth living" but not actually helping me see why. Not to be one of those idiots, but it feels like the more technology creeps into our lives, we lose the ability to make genuine connections with people. If I died, people would care for... 2 weeks? Maybe a month? But then they'd go back to their zoned out lives of distraction and consumption.
We're born alone and we die alone. Everyone we know dies too. Why bother? What the fuck is the point?
>>28997057
>Yes good goyim take you medication
I flush mine down the sink, anti-depressants are meme tier and just change the nature of your problems rather than solving them.
If OP lived near me, i would befriend him and force him to go out with me and hang out. Movies, mountain climbing, bikes, whatever.
He'd make me feel better about myself since it's not as bad with me, and i'd at least have some excuse to go out.
I'd basically use him to make myself feel better and in the process make him feel wanted by somebody, and thus making him feel better.
>>28997615
>tfw noone like this to do stuff with
OP you sound crazy, go visit a shrink
>>28997556
>flushing them down so it gets into the tap water
You are our greatest ally.
