>be a fat, fat fuck
>decide to stop being so huge
>try to bike
>no sense of balance
>buy three wheeled bike with giant basket from retarded aunt
>now paranoid about looking retarded so huffing and puffing along each ride and trying to stop and say "good afternoon, how are you? a beautiful day isn't it?" to every person who looks at me just to prove I'm not retarded
Life is suffering.
>>28963676
Unless you live in old timey England that's incredibly retarded of you
>>28963708
The retarded can't speak properly, it's proof enough that I don't have Down's syndrome.
I have a mong face and I'm bow legged, pigeon-toed, and fat as fuck so most people do assume I have an extra chromosome.
People have stopped me in public and asked in a baby voice where my caretaker was, it's very humiliating.
>>28963676
>stop and say "good afternoon, how are you? a beautiful day isn't it?" to every person who looks at me just to prove I'm not retarded
what
>>28963805
Who cares, let them think you're a downie. Just keep moving.
Even the retarded kid up the road rides around on a two wheeler
>>28963676
haha you fat fuck, might as well keep your pizza boxes in the basket on the back
>>28963676
No one cares OP
That bike looks cool
If you must just always carry a bag on the basket to make it seem like you have a weird bike out of an actual need for it's functions not cause you can't ride a normal one
>>28963845
At least I'm trying, you mean spirited fellow.
put one of those realistic looking baby dolls in the basket with a little helmet on, then you can tell people you are just taking your child out for a ride so itll seem like there is a reason you have a basket on the back. People will respect you for looking out for the safety of your child by having a better balanced three wheeler rather than an unsafe bike
Idk why but i can't stop laughing
>>28963900
A bag might just work.
I did carry my brother several miles in the basket when he had an athsma attack, it distributes weight really well.
>>28963676
That's pretty funny OP.
>>28963676
I cycle a lot. Most people out running or cycling are really friendly, except for the guys cycling in full gear. They will only wave to the ones who look like them. Just smile say hi and most people will do the same to you. If you don't want to say anything to anybody just look straight ahead and wear some headphones
>>28964116
>wear some headphones
That doesn't sound very road safe, what if a car approaches me from behind?
>>28963810
>drops his spaghetti
>it comes out as "g-good affanun, howyou? beaudifoh day?"
>does his pudgy bow-legged pedal as fast as he can away from the scene
>>28964277
If anything, I over-enunciate.
>>28964305
Oh well
Keep improving anon
>>28963676
Fat people are always more self conscious than they need to be. No one gives a shit about you. They're too busy with their own lives.
That's a cool bike. I have no problem riding a bike and I wouldn't mind riding that. If a bike was my main mode of transportation I'd want something like that. It would make carrying your groceries way easier. Throw a water bottle or a backpack in the basket if you're really self conscious.
There's a guy where I work who rides one of these. Now these things draw attention because you hardly ever see them. A bike like yours doesn't draw attention.
>>28963900
agreed with all of this post
something in the basket would help if you really really care about how it looks to be using such a bike
>>28964451
Those things scare the shit out of me when I have to pass them in my car.
I always have those intrusive thoughts about how horrible and easy it would be to crush them under my car.
Bikes don't even require a sense of balance though. Once you start riding it's self balancing. Are you so fat you break physics?
>>28964797
>Are you so fat you break physics?
;_;
yes
>>28964815
That sucks. At least you're on the right path. Look up DNP, ECAY, PSMF, and intermittent fasting. Maybe amphetamine or sibutramine too. Starvation mode does not exist. Do lots of drugs to drop it as fast as possible, then hop on trenbolone to fill your lose skin back up and gain 60 to 80 pounds. With dnp you can lose about a pound per day, pure fat too, none of that bullshit water weight stuff. It will kill you if you fuck up though. Tren and other aas you can easily gain 40 lbs your first year, then maybe halved each year, unless you do more drugs but most guys will look amazing at 180 or so. Slin and gh is for the big boys in ifbb.
>>28963676
>>now paranoid about looking retarded so huffing and puffing along each ride
I actually feel pretty happy seeing fat dudes huffing and puffing with effort.
It honestly gives me hope for the future, and a lot of people feel the same way.
>>28963676
just get an exercise bike desu
>>28963676
That's cute OP please continue your polite cycling
>>28965605
I think the vitamin D's good for my mood.
>>28964797
>Once you start
so, before that, what do you expect someone to do?
>>28965685
You know, walk up to the bike, sit on the bike, and... well that's pretty much it. You just go. I don't see how being fat would get in the way of that. I guess they could face downhill and just pick up their leg if taking one step to kick off is too much. Have you ever ridden a bike? I shouldn't have to be explaining this shit.
>>28963676
That's actually a pretty sweet bike, anon. Looks post-hipster stylish (NOTE: I AM NOT /FA/). Don't be self conscious about that, just slow down and enjoy the time outside. And you don't need to work yourself to a drenching sweat every time, just ride consistently and you'll start seeing the weight go. And a little diet goes a long way.
Don't be needlessly hard on yourself, friend. Even if someone judges you, you automatically get bonus points for trying.
>>28965876
>You just go.
using a sense of balance
>>28963676
I didn't actually know bikes like this existed but this is great cause I was thinking of learning how to ride a bike so I could go grocery shopping on a grocery store that is a bit far from my home
So I'll look into one of these
Thanks opie
>>28963676
>"good afternoon, how are you? a beautiful day isn't it?"
Do you have a fat guy hat you tip?
>>28964000
Weapons grade autisim. Smh.
>>28964451
that thing looks comfy as fuck tbqh
>>28966188
I have a giant plastic bike helmet.
I don't like wearing the helmet, but I'm just the kind of doofus to crack their skull open the one day they leave the helmet at home.
>>28966133
If you want to ride a bike you should learn how to balance on an actual bike.
>>28966250
Can you even tip over a tricycle?
Get a fat guy hat and get to tippin damn it!
>>28966309
I don't want to actually learn
I was just considering it to make my life easier
But with one of these I won't have to!
>>28966331
plus, you can put all your groceries in the basket where they'll stay snug and safe.
Is it true that people in passing cars throw things at fat people?
>>28966442
Sometimes, mostly Mexican teenagers.
>>28966462
Mexican teenagers are one of the worst types of people on this planet.
>>28966579
I think they get the shit beaten out of them and spent their whole lives fighting for attention with a gorrillion siblings and cousins, so when they're just given an old beater and allowed to let loose they go a bit nuts.
They're pretty bad, but they are just stupid kids.
>>28963676
Just own it. Nobody gives a fuck about your bike, and you could probably skip the helmet and enjoy the breeze this way.
Anyone who looks down on a fat guy exercising is a fucking prick, anyway. Good luck, senpai.
>>28964000
>a better balanced three wheeler rather than an unsafe bike
It's only better balanced if you're as incompetent as OP. For normal people a normal bike is safer because it won't tip over if you corner too fast.
>>28966311
This anon is correct. A fat guy on a bike like that should be tippin. It's only right and natural.
>>28966354
And also it looks like the basket is big enough for me to carry dogg around with
So I don't need to leave her alone and feel guilty if I feel like getting some exercise
Hmmm yes perfect
>>28963676
>elementary school, 7th or 8th grade
>friend's 17 year old mentally challenged brother got one of these (he probably weighed close to 400lbs)
>he would ride up and down the sidewalk in front of our classroom window yelling "I'm free" and "I'm king of the world"for hours at a time.
It made me feel really happy and sad at the same time.
OP, you're awesome. Keep on doing your thing.
A little story time, sort of related.
>drive home from work late every day, around 11pm
>see this obese motherfucker biking on a shitty $80 garbage bike every night
>doesn't have a helmet
>bike doesn't even have any lights or reflectors
>doesn't even seem to have real workout clothes, always biking with these retarded giant jeans flapping away in the wind
>see him EVERY SINGLE FUCKING NIGHT for over two years
>now insanely buff (even in the dark you can tell he's got some serious muscle action going on)
>still riding that dumb ass bike
>if he's still riding on that thing come December I'm going to buy him a proper bike and maybe take him out to dinner
>>28967754
>I'm going to buy him a proper bike and maybe take him out to dinner
that sounds vaguely homoerotic, it's a nice thought but he'll probably think you're coming on to him.
>>28967786
It's okay, I'm a grill so no homo.
>>28963676
I'm perfectly fit but even I get tired of my super advanced bullshit bike that requires lots of training to begin to ride.
That bike looks really comfy, easy to get in and out of. Listen op I've seen a dad ride a duel bike with his 12 year old son. You don't know embarrassment.
I would in fact cheer you on in my head if I saw a fat guy on a bike. Least the mother fucking faggot is trying. Good on you
No I'm not a Norman, I just think fitness is great. Sitting in my ass and letting the blood pool is horrible, I may be jobless but I at least won't be a fat ass.
I'm kinda fat too, probably not even close to op's level, but still fat. My diet isn't too shitty, but pretty much the result of not being active + shitty metabolism. Any guides on working out without leaving the house and having to pay a shitload on equipment?
>>28968727
Just torrent some fitness stuff, that's what I've been doing
Like workout dvds and books on how to fix your nutrition
