I wish I were a normal fucking person. Why do I have to be so innately screwed? I've tried so hard to not be the way I am now to no avail.
I'll bet you spend hours just contemplating your life and the exact moment where things went to hell. It's pointless, anon. You're on damage control now. Work on salvaging anything that's left, or try and start a new life somewhere else.
>>28963336
I wish I was given responsibilities. I don't have what it takes to just go out and take on new tasks. My parents make me scared of everything and straight up reject everything I bring up and criticize me.
If I had a job, I know I would do it competently. If I was in a relationship, I could only ever be devoted and loyal. If I was responsible for the existence of another living thing, I would take care of them with all my heart. I would put up with any responsibilities dumped on me.
I'm tired of my brain rotting away in solitude. I don't even have it in me to read anymore. I just sleep and waste time, muddling through the day without doing anything.
I don't understand what made me become a neet
>>28963399
>I'll bet you spend hours just contemplating your life and the exact moment where things went to hell.
It's impossible to tell, it was so gradual. Not that I was ever doing incredibly well in the first place. All I think about is how to get out of this, and no matter what I try, it doesn't work. I can't make real, relatable friends, I can't like normal things, I can't have normal sexual tastes, I can't properly interact with others, I can't stop being a burden to everyone, I can't stop hating myself, I can't be good at anything. I've done a variety of things to try to change this, none of it has worked. There's nothing to salvage.
>>28963457
>If I had a job, I know I would do it competently. If I was in a relationship, I could only ever be devoted and loyal.
That's what I thought too. Then I fucked up. None of us are really this good.
>>28963539
It's true. I've known better people than me who worked easier jobs than I did and they couldn't even handle the stress of it. I don't know how the baby boomers did this for like 60 years.
>>28963535
The process might have been gradual, but I'll bet you can think of a few defining moments in your past where things really took a turn for the worse and in no small part shaped you into what you are today. If you can learn something from your mistakes, this is good but it's easy to spend an inordinate amount of time ruminating over how these things happened.
Instead, try to have a plan of some kind, even if the first step is just to treat your depression or anxiety. Even if it seems too late in life for you to fix some of this, you can still learn to be relatively content with what you do have, or consider a reboot of a plan that worked out for you if even marginally. It's always possible to improve your life in some way, but you must summon the will to do it.
>>28963336
Cute post by a cute "anon"
>>28963336
>acts depressed
>posts a cute anime girl
Shut up and become a cock-swallowing whore like the other attention grabbers on here. At least you'll feel happiness when you serve a master or mistress. Then you can just let it all go and enjoy the ride.
>>28963995
Cute is good though. We still like that here, right?
>>28964051
All you missed there was to tell him to take hormones.
You faggots are the reason we have so many weaboo trannies on this board.
Stop telling him that the only way to fix his life is to become a sex slave.
I am totally fucked and want off this ride
>>28963952
I'm trying not to be depressed, my anxiety is no longer severe (on its own) but it's still present. I can't get past here, I have tried almost everything. Therapy, medication, being around other people, nothing.
>>28964051
Crossdressing brings me temporary happiness, but I shouldn't whore myself out, and it's not going to make me happy in the long term.
>>28964272
Find something you're passionate about, a hobby to entertain you or better yet try to hone a skill that will help give you some self-worth. If you're just drifting through life, it only gets worse and worse. The social thing can help, but it's better to be alone than around people who are a bad influence.
Focus on things like rebuilding self-esteem and combating your fears, then maybe try to have friends again. So you'll know when they're full of shit and running you down or trying to manipulate you. Or if you've found someone who is actually supportive and nice. Be self-sufficient is the best advice I can give you.
PERHAPS YOU SHOULD START
By the delusional Behavior, envisioning yourself as some kind of chromasonally inept North Korean Anime mixture between Little Bo Peep and Minnie Mouse, stopped whining, got off your lazy ass and simply shut the fuck up
>realizing the flaw you've managed to fix is just one out of a big ammount of flaws you haven't even begun to touch upon
Anyone else dreading the next 10 years of their life?
I wonder if I'll even live that long.
>>28965281
I feel like I started this 10 years thing that people have been repeating for the last hour or two. Turning 30 makes you want to rethink your life. The best thing you can do is find the motivation to change if it's still possible. Go back to college maybe or find a new job if this is something you're able to do. If you've truly exhausted all your options at this point, then maybe it's time to get a well-conceived suicide plan on track. Whatever you decide to do, just make it happen.
Not many of us are actually going to endure another 10 years if they were anything like the decade prior. Who wants to just drift on and on into the slow descent that is middle age? If you're still young, make your 20's count but don't dread them or assume you won't make it. Work hard and don't sweat the small stuff.
>>28965669
I'll be turning 34 this summer. I realized how much I hated office work and finally quit. I've been working a physically demanding job and I'm in better shape than I've been in five years. It's amazing how much your mind clears when your body is getting steadily healthier.
>>28965669
I have an okay job, but I'm uneducated, have next to no social skills and various mental illnesses like PTSD.
I'm not sure how I'm going to cope.
>>28965746
>your body is getting steadily healthier
Quite the opposite for some. It's a good idea to stay fit, but you probably have to work twice as hard if you're trying to keep up with the younger ones on physical labor at that age. Physical and mental health can definitely affect each other though. The kicker about getting older though is that sometimes no matter what choices you make eventually you start to find that your body is letting you down one organ at a time. Mine no longer serves me as it should, so I'll probably devote the remainder of my time to more intellectual pursuits. As long as you stay active and don't spend too much time dwelling on things.
>>28965931
Can't you still go back to college? My brother did that at 30, and he's working a decent job now. Don't give up until you are certain that you're all out of options. With a persistent mental illness therapy isn't always helpful but it's pretty good for people with PTSD, especially if you're honest with them and are ready to work through your issues. It can be a little scary though confronting all that.
>>28966261
I tried. I can't handle or afford it. I'd have to go to community college as well. FASFA thought I could afford to spend $5000 out of pocket even though I had a $18k job. Now I make like $23k, so I doubt I'd get anything at all.
>With a persistent mental illness therapy isn't always helpful but it's pretty good for people with PTSD, especially if you're honest with them and are ready to work through your issues.
The last time I tried I was told to go to rehab and my hour long session ended in 15 minutes. He didn't bother to get to know me, ask me about my issues or anything. Even with my insurance it'd be a $60 a week copay, which isn't worth it.
Even if I did go, they'd want me to socialize and try to integrate into society. I don't want to do that.
>>28966339
Yeah, sounds like you had a bad experience. It might be time to try again though, with specific goals in mind. Probably avoid mentioning how you've self-medicated or just talking about life in general and work on resolving the source of your PTSD instead. You need to have your own plan for therapy, make it clear what it is you you want to work through. Trauma, unlike the chemical imbalance of certain mood disorders, is a tangible event from your past that contributes to neurosis. No less serious a problem, but it's one which can sometimes be resolved by confronting those demons. Maybe a friend or family member can help you work through these issues instead of a professional, but you cannot do it alone.
>>28966586
I'd really rather not. I don't see what they are going to do. You can't make PTSD go away. The only things that make me feel anxiety are hearing other people in the house yelling and making loud noises, so I can just move out to fix that.
I'm pretty sure I'm avoidant too, but that's not something you can really fix anyway. I don't mind being alone either, so it's not that big of a problem.
The episodes of depression are the major downside. Also my fucked up sexuality and no self esteem. Those are the only real issues I'd like to fix.
>>28965281
I've already decided that im done at 30.
It's not going to get any better after 30
I miss you Hal
>>28966847
Halrenna ;-;
>>28966652
Well, shit. In a way it's hard for me to help here because I have the same set of issues, and I don't feel like there's much hope for the future either. However, you can work on improving your self-esteem through small acts of success and not being around people who try to run you down all the time. As for sexuality...well it is what it is. Accept it or become asexual. Depression can be helped with meds for most people. Have you tried some SSRI or SNRI drugs yet? They're pretty effective in most cases. My depression was hard to treat because there aren't a lot of good meds for the bipolar kind. PTSD and anxiety can only really be treated by confronting your worst fears, head on. That's hard for most people to do honestly but one can only try.
>>28967058
>However, you can work on improving your self-esteem through small acts of success
I tried, it doesn't help.
I felt good after getting my new job, and now I feel worthless again.
>and not being around people who try to run you down all the time
I'm not around people much ever. At my job I'm usually working on whatever tasks I have to do, at home I am always in my room. If I have to go out I try to avoid other family members.
>As for sexuality...well it is what it is. Accept it or become asexual.
Pedophilia. I really shouldn't have to explain why I'd want that fixed, but I doubt it's something you can fix.
>Depression can be helped with meds for most people. Have you tried some SSRI or SNRI drugs yet? They're pretty effective in most cases.
I don't have the money for that kind of stuff, even with my insurance. When I move out I'll have enough for an apartment, food, internet, utilities and gasoline. That's about it really.
I hope things go well for you anon. Thanks for frying to help. Once this depressive episode passes in a few weeks/months things will be better.
>>28966806
>tfw 31
I'm living on borrowed time.
>>28966806
>It's not going to get any better after 30
No, it does not for some. Unless you laid the groundwork for success or at least financial security early on, and have already found yourself a partner in life, you're unlikely to have many opportunities to achieve this. 30 is milestone that signals the end of youth basically. It's when a person looks back at who they are what they've done to this point, and decides whether it's time to really start living, or to get busy dying. You're on a path by that point my friend, and most of the time there's no going back.
