I have three hundred dollars to spend on something that will make me at least temporarily happy. What do you recommend I get, and why?
Things I will not be spending my money on:
>escorts
>drugs
>sex toys
>anything would get me a prison sentence
Everything else is fair game.
Bumping for my fleeting happiness
P-please someone give me a suggestion...
>>28958201
oz of weed
>>28958201
Fo to Dave and Busters
Eat food and play games until you feel better.
Bring a friend if you can
A cheap suit so you can get a job faggot
>>28958201
A gun and one bullet
>>28958934
>bring a friend if you can
m8
Why no drugs anon?
>INB4 degenerate scum
True, but what else will make you happy for a short period of time that is under $300?
>>28958201
buy some good clothes
Go buy a holiday or smth
Go skiing or smth
Even sky diving
>>28958934
>Bring a friend if you can
Y-yeah, haha, I totally will...
>>28959025
I abuse prescription drugs and anything beyond that would just be a hassle and a risk.
What you want is to change that money into BTC and go on deepweb and pay a good money for a killing on livestream
Get into it, oil your body up, finger yourself while the whore gets her head chopped up, be all edgy and shieet
Buy a cheap guitar. I'm not kidding, it'll make you happier. Go to reverb.com and look for an Epiphone or a cheap Fender and then hit up justinguitar.com. You won't regret it.
So no anal tickler then?
>>28959081
I don't have a car so I don't think I have many options for a vacation, but it would be nice. Would it be weird to go skiing by yourself? I've never done it before and I have no one to go with.
I realize $300 isn't a lot of money but I'm a twenty-one year old loser still living with his mom.
get an android vr headset for $20-30
make sure you do your research and get a good one
they're gonna be out of date soon but they're great
pretty good games
vr porn
vr tours of places you'll never go
some good bjork videos
also great for watching (3d)movies on a plane/train
Get yourself a ps2 and a bunch of games (ps1/2)
>>28958201
Buy an emoji pillow OP
>>28958201
Go to kohl's, spend about 60-80 dollars on some good looking clothes. You can find actual nice clothes In clearance for ridiculously cheap, like $8 for a $60 shirt. Get a few outfits, get a bottle of Burberry touch men's cologne which is about $40, and then get a good haircut from a woman's salon (sounds gay I know but trust me, for $20 one of the early 20 something girls there will get you looking good.
You should be feeling better about yourself by now.
Now you should have about $150-180 left.
Go buy a starter set of golf clubs from play it again sports/dunnams for $100, then get a couple lessons with the rest.
New hobby, you'll make new friends, feel.better about yourself, and after a bit be happy again.
>>28958201
get a polaroid camera op, decorate your room or just take pictures of things
>>28958201
Buy a compass, the map of local area, sleeping bag, pencil and some paper.
Leave tech behind and go for a hike
You will still have much money left, and I bet contact with nature will make you temporarily happy
>Buy a crock pot.
Make a shit ton of food at once to last you the week. This will save you money and will allow you to get even more money in the long run.
>>28959292
literally no-one likes cologne
Cyanide and a mask
>>28959368
Also, crockpot food tastes 10x better than making it any other way.
>>28959292
This is shit tier plan.
>use money to look better to feel better about yourself
You do not belong here faggot
>golf clubs/play sports
Holy shit, you are such faggot. Maybe he should spend all this money on exclusive dinner with kobe beef or some other overpriced bullshit?
>>28959368
why would you buy an appliance to do something you can already do with pots on your stove, potentially at much lower cost (if you have gas)?
Get something that will last you forever. A trip lasts a forever. A new showerhead makes your morning nicer every day forever.
Fresh sheets give you comfort for years, or a new pillow, something along those lines.
>>28959380
i bet you smell like a taint
>>28959440
You got better plans friendo? What's wrong with wanting to leave this cesspool??
>>28959355
I second this, nature is fucking great if you force yourself into it.
>>28958201
Books desu. >>>/lit/ starter kit
>>28959446
Tastes better, can make it to take longer or shorter to cook if your going somewhere, costs less to run than an oven, and you can make alot of food at once.
Road trip
>>28958201
pullup bar - $30 / $40
a gram of mariwan - varies alot depending on state, baseline $20
new shoes to your liking - $70+
onahole (I reccomend bocca della verita) - $50
book worth reading - $15 to $30
>>28958954
What if i miss?
>>28959368
>le reddit crockpot meme
here's a rule for the kitchen: don't every buy anything without anything for your kitchen without an nsf seal on it. that guarantees quality and since companies only bother achieving certification for restaurant commercial products it also guarantees that you won't be buying stupid shit that's marketed to ignorant consumers
>>28959172
300$
cheap guitar
lol a cheap guitar is like 35$
>>28959517
>hello my name is anon and i don't know how to use my kitchen
>>28959446
Dude slow cooking lets the flavours get to know eachother for hours. It doest taste better. I think that's why I like indian food so much....
>>28959647
go tour the kitchen of an indian restaurant. tell me how many crock pots they have
>>28959461
It's not about not leaving /r9k/, or as you called it, "cesspool", I made innawoods suggestion. Plan to spend money to pretend being somebody else instead of feeling better being himself is retarded.
>>28959610
>35$
what are you playing, plywood? A 35$ guitar is worthless. If it's bought for that much from a garage sale or something it's different, but a guitar sold retail for that much is useless to anyone looking to actually play.
>>28959623
Can cook food just fine. Just like the convinence of crock pots.
>>28959104
This exists?
>>28959292
Thank you for the response, anon, but unfortunately I have a very droopy, lopsided, asymmetrical face and a lazy eye that cannot be surgically-repaired or covered with an eyepatch so I will always be ugly no matter how I dress.
>>28958201
Go on some sort of vacation.
The best idea for your budget is road trip just drive aimlessly and see where the road takes you.
go on an adventure man.
maybe do some shrooms in the woods one day
just do whatever you like to do man.
>>28958201
300$ on black 29, after you win go all in on red 7 and go buy a ferrari
One of them expensive arcades with someone you are cool with. always have a good time
>>28959674
I like nature, but aren't you scared of bugs, anon? Even flies or ants scare me and I know they're harmless. Bees send me running for the hills. I can't imagine sitting somewhere and having creepy fucking bugs crawling on me and buzzing over my head.
>>28959753
Sorry, I should have specified--I have no car.
>>28959814
I lost ten dollars in a poker game back in high school and it's haunted me ever since. I'm not a gambling man.
Convert it to BTC and send it to 19HQ1PKvkhUpeqFRtYU7WRFZkifWJrpa4M
freeline skates
>>28958201
Buy a decent rod/reel combo, necessary terminal tackle, and a bunch of lures
Fishing is really cathartic and it provides a big time rush when you hook a big one
>>28959865
If you are afraid of bugs, buy some anti bug spray, or perhaps obtain a cheap tent?
Fear is the mind killer anon. Nature does not want to kill you, some large animals want to eat you because you are tasy, but that is not the case in most forests. Bees in forests are rare as fuck, and mosquitoes? Try killing as much of them as you can, killing those bloodsucking female insects is something /r9k/ would definitely enjoy
Drugs, in my opinion they are potentially more fun and it is less embarrassing to talk about then both escorts and sex toys. You should try a little lsd and opiates, make sure you do them at different times. The trip could kind of suck if you don't.
>tfw I googled "vacations for under $300" and all I get is stuff like this
JUST
>>28959814
my fucking sides are missing
dont even know why
>>28958201
Get a few items of really nice clothing. A nice new sport coat or shoes or something always make me feel better.
A bullet is only 80 cents
>>28960008
Is anti-bug spray a meme or does it really work? I used to use it when I did gardening work in the summer but bugs would still land on my and fly very close to me.
>Fear is the mind killer anon.
I know, man. It's irrational and stupid and dumb but I just can't help it. There was a tiny little fruitfly in my room last night so I slept with my head under the covers because I didn't want it to touch me.
I am a failure of a man.
A few ideas
1:
>browse for lowkey locations with good history
>get cheap flights/train travel + book a room (b&b, couchsurfing whatever)
>explore all touristy like
2:>>28959292
>do this, realize it's not about the looks/whatever excuse you come up with.
>It will make you feel better definitely.
>I also recommend Marshall's if you have one in the neighborhood, you can get brand clothes for real cheap. Shop around, buy some cool food/stuff you've never had/really wanted.
>cologne advice: go to the cologne shop, say you're going to be testing a cologne for the day. Wear one you like, 2-3 squirts on neck (below ear where the blood is).
>don't go to womens salon, it's probably shit. Don't go to the hipster vintage salons(expensive), try to find a black or paki barber, they're good senpai.
fuck golf desu if it's not your thing, If you're into sports/or if you don't know whether you are, get into a beginner friendly/easy access sport. eg soccer, badminton, table tennis etc
>look online for nearby clubs and check if they have test lessons/try outs. If they don't, phone them up or visit >10 min before training sessions
Now you should have some cash left still. Take your friend
>whoamikidding
on of your parents/siblings/other family out to dinner
>>28960161
Some better bug sprays work wonders anon, but the cheapest ones does not. There is also a vitamine trick, if you eat certain vitamine for 2 weeks, mosquitoes will avoid your stench.
>>28959903
>>28959753
This are also good ideas. You can fish if you want, I do not do that but guys who fish are nearly always bro tier. And you do not need a car or even a bike to walk aimlessly and see where the road takes you
>It's irrational and stupid and dumb but I just can't help it.
The trick is that only you can help it. If you want easy mode, get drunk, it will help.
If you think you are failure, you must accomplish something. I propose as such: you will post your not very exact location, such as nearest city, and I or other anon will give you destination you must reach. This will be your quest. If you fail to reach your destination in 2 weeks, you will be failure forever. If you succeed, you will make a huge step towards being awesome.
Innawoods guy here. I got to go now. Wish you happily spent money, although you must know money not always buy you hapiness.
