Does anyone else cycle through phases of extreme narcissism and extreme self-hatred? Half the time I think I'm some kind of hyperchad and half the time I can't bear to look at myself in the mirror.
i used to do this but then i stopped giving a fucked and became wired 24/7
yeah, i do
sometimes I think and want to become the most powerful person in the world in some capacity
and other times I just want to lie in a gutter and die and have no one ever find my body
>>28939612
Can't decide which variety of special snowflake you want to be?
I know that exact feel, op. it's very grueling being jerked back and forth like that.
>>28939687
Fuck off, normie
originalio comment
This happens to me every week. I usually star the week feeling moody and shit. By Wednesday, the prospect of the weekend and its infinites posibilities starts to excite me. I start thinking I'm going to go to great parties, hook up with 10/10s, write some killer stand-up routines (I wanna be a comedian), etc.
None of this happens. Sundays become unbearable.
>>28939612
It's called black and white thinking. You alternate between thinking you're great and thinking you're terrible because in both cases you're using extreme and absolute terms instead of holding more realistic views of things where things aren't all one way or another.
>>28939612
I guess so, it's a real struggle, but I'd like to think I am improving because I have been reading more and getting into philosophy, in books and on youtube with my boy Stefan Molyneux who is helping out with my self-actualization process. If you are interested in self-actualization I would also recommend Million Dollar Extreme. Their videos are therapeutic.
>>28939994
I can't seem to stop doing this, even when I conciously try. I hate it.
>>28940235
Just try to put things in perspective. You're one person out of 7.125 billion alive today on the planet. It's very unlikely you're either extremely good or extremely bad and a lot more likely you're just a normal person with a variety of good and bad qualities mixed together.
>>28940298
I know that, and I know I know that, but it's like my brain is just wired to think in absolutes. I'm trying to change it but it's not really working.
>>28939994
Has nothing to do with "black and white thinking" and alot to do with having a mood/personality disorder.
>>28940361
It's pretty textbook black and white thinking:
>cycle through phases of extreme narcissism and extreme self-hatred
Is exactly what the phrase "black and white thinking" was coined to represent.
iktf OP. it's shitty 'cause that kind of narcissism is aimed inward, so it's useless in every way but becoming more of a dumb, neurotic, idiot. even if you make or do something, creative or otherwise, you don't show anyone because of the crushing inadequacy that you've convinced yourself of
i wish i was a "normal" narcissist because then I'd at least have a -chance- to have my endeavors be seen or experienced by others. others could probably offer me genuine criticisms too, as opposed to me shutting myself down with some illogical
>fuck, this is garbage, i can't show anyone this. it was a terrible idea and i'm a chode for ever thinking it was good, etc.
>>28939994
>>28940298
that's the problem dude, many of us -know- it's illogical, but we don't know how to keep the thoughts away for good. as soon as i stop putting conscious effort to trying to keep the shitty thoughts at bay, they begin to seep back in all the same. as soon as i take my eyes off of them, they begin worming back into everything. it takes much longer to get them back out, than it takes for them to get back in. i probably need some sort of CBT or something. medication has only ever been a temporary salve
>>28939612
I do this, but it's mostly the same time kind of deal. I hate myself for having no one, but I constantly tell myself, and believe that I'm just above everyone a la Elliot
>>28939612
You don't have to like yourself to be a narcissist. I hate myself but I'm straight up obsessed with myself. Paying too much attention to how I act and how I feel and not thinking enough about other people.
>>28940387
>cycle through phases of extreme narcissism and extreme self-hatred
the thing is, the negative thoughts from narcissism aren't always only aimed outward. they can aimed inward too, and some people go between feeling it in both directions. the term "antinarcissism" was coined in the 20th century to refer to this concept of inverted narcissism
>Andre Green similarly wrote of antinarcissism as a negative narcissism that seeks self-destructively to abolish the ego
>Christopher Bollas introduced the concept of antinarcissism to describe a self-limiting kind of narcissist who refuse to develop themselves or use their talents, so as to maintain their exaggerated sense of self-importance in defeat.
>"This anti-elaborative person 'stews in his own juice' and adamantly refuses to nurture himself". The antinarcissist may preserve a hostile, even sadistic, core behind a self-effacing facade of care and consideration for others
it seems to describe most people on /r9k/, myself included. it's a lot easier to dehumanize others & think of them as inferior, than it is to lie to oneself about being superior (because we know ourselves too well to fall for that big of a delusion)
>>28939612
great knife, man
make sure you slit your guts under your ribcage, otherwise they will not spill out right
Yup, its a form of BDD and some other fucked up mental disorders. I check myself out in the mirror probably like 50 times a day, am obsessed with my appearance. Some days I feel I look amazing, others subhuman. I also have tons of pics of myself on my phone and videos of myself in the mirror. I'm fucking crazy. Some times I play dress up and try on my nicest clothes and look at myself in the mirror to remind myself I'm pretty good looking. Then when I go out I feel like trash.
