>must have 1+ year experience
>must have blah blah degree
>bilingual preferred
How the fuck is a neet who wants to redeem himself supposed to find a job with no experience or skills!!
I'm stuck in a never-ending cycle of failure!
literally actually the jews fault
>>28927676
Learn Spanish, then you'll have the bilingual bit covered at leasr
>>28927726
>literally actually the jews fault
FINAL SOLUTION WHEN???
>>28927676
How old are you?
You can always apply for internships or go back to school if you have the money.
>>28928188
Just turned 26, my parents have finally gotten tired of my shit and gave up on me.
I have until summer to move out, but I can't find anything decent. It's not like I want a 100k starting salary, just something where I can afford a nice 1 bedroom/studio apartment & can live on my own.
>stress resistant
>high volume work
>meeting monthly targets
>be clean, friendly and full of energy at all times
>be organised like a machine
>perfectionists at a fast paced position
>machine like one key perfect emotions at all times
>oh did i say extreme stress resistant? wink
seriously go fuck yourselves employer scum.
i can do a good job just get off my balls with this ass talk and requirements.
>>28927676
Get a gas station or fast food job
>>28928240
>just turned 26
High school ended for you 8 years ago
How did you go 8 years with no skills?
I've been working since the month after i turned 16.
I can understand no college because that shit is expensive but no fast food work at the least?
My brother is around your age and he dropped out of high school. He owns a house with his wife and he's a driver.
That's no skill but is working late hours, dealing with drunk idiots, no weekends, and I'm assuming worst of all customer service in a vehicle he owns.
>>28928393
just ignore that all that shit, adjust your resume accordingly, subtly regurgitate or paraphrase their buzzwords, drop or send them a copy, and bullshit the interview.
As long as you're not claiming hard technical skills you don't have (expert in Excel, trained nurse, speak Spanish, truck license), it's okay. It's almost expected. They're trying to weed out people who would be intimidated by those requirements, or use that as justification of a poor work environment - this is what you signed up for.
It's like one of those "why do you want to work here?" type questions.
They bullshit, you bullshit.
>>28927676
If this is the only thing you meer concider yourself Lucky.
>Experience in an niche field, often more than a few years
>At least a master's degree with expertise and research experience in that niche field
>Multiple letters of recommendation from different sources
>extracurricular activities linked to the job
>Speak at least all major European langauges
>Zealous motivation that you can account for with other documentation
>Hip resume that stands out and you have at least paid money for to create
>Professional pictures of yourself
>Activity on social media
If you don't have this here, you better be good at frying burgers.
>>28928475
> They're trying to weed out people who would be intimidated by those requirements
Lol if that's true then I didn't see that. I've always tried to meet if not exceed expectations. Use it as leverage to get more. If they don't then I use my requirements and leave
>>28927676
>Went in for job interview today at grocery store
>"Well anon, I'm trying to think if I have anything open... I don't think I do. I'll tell you what, I'll call you if I do. It could be later this week, or it could be in a month, I don't know."
So this basically means no, right? I can't even get a fast food job, fuck this shit world it isn't fair.
>>28928523
That's bullshit. That's if you're going for an academic job. Only academic jobs have such ridiculous requirements because the people who study those fields spent so much time in those fields they all compete for the two jobs that are out there.
If you want a white collar you better have something relevant to the job along with the boss is mainly looking that you're a good team player that can learn and be trained in quickly
Blue collar requires no schooling except schooling does put you at a cut above the rest and you mainly need some tools, and a quick mind.
Of course, all that you mentioned would pretty much get you any job and the interview would be a formality.
>Hip resume that stands out and you have at least paid money for to create
Lol I have never done that. I just used a template I found online and edited as desired
>>28927676
OP, the most important piece of advice is when they call you for an interview it means you're in the final stretch but you're not in the clear yet. The interview is your job to show yourself for who you are. To prove to the company in a short time that you're a good team player and will be a good employee.
>>28928425
neet life, I just wasted away at home playing vidya and fucking off.
my parents kind of allowed it so I just stayed complacent
>want to do physical work
>didn't have a father so I never learned a skill growing up
>small and weak, can't do any unskilled manual labor
>>28929163
Nothing is stopping you from lifting.
>>28929270
There's no gym in a reasonable distance and I doubt I have space for the tools.
>>28929284
I'm pretty sure you can get stronger without weights. There's a wealth of information on the internet on how to do this.
>>28929085
Did you not even think about the future when you were wasting your life?
You'd figure being a NEET you'd know multiple languages and have lots of awards and degrees since it's all you meme about
>>28927742
>tfw can't roll my r's no matter how hard I try
>>28929326
I just chalked it up to "I'm young" I have a plenty of time to change my life.
Time flies when you're having fun
The only times I've ever managed to land a job was when someone I knew was already working for the company. This is also how most of my friends have gotten jobs. I swear applying doesn't do shit, you just need a friend to say to his boss "I have a friend who can work here" and you have the job.
Jobs are like terrible clubs that you're only able to enter if you get an invite from someone whos already in.
i hear you, it sucks cause i was athletic as a kid/young teenager but now i tire out after 10 mins work
Work at an amusement park. They'll hire anybody who isn't a rapist and you will be forced to learn social skills to survive
just wait for basic income
fuck work
>working hard for my master's in a STEM field
>learning how to code
>learning the other main language of my country
>fluent in my native language and English already
>learning how statistics work
>got both a foreign internship and a paid internship on my resume, will get another next year
>gonna sign up with a fitness club this summer, start lifting
It's all about building up that resume to provide a complete skillset for employers to consider you useful. Unfortunately I'm shit at networking and I don't have family members in high places so I'll still have to swim upstream to get somewhere.
>>28929085
I used to feel that way. Granted, it was only a short time until I hated it. Now, i hate staying inside all day in my basement unless it's with someone. Like, I'd rather watch tv with someone than do it alone. Although, I'd rather be doing something outside than in. It feels like a wasted day if its spent inside. My parents have never said anything about it probably because they never felt like it was needed.
Although, I am 20.
>>28927742
>mfw white tall mexican
>spanish native language of course
>english up to 98% converational pretty good
>can read and write russian
>40% german and french
>collage dropout
>half the time people can't understand me even in my native language
>combination of slurring words too much and speaking too fast
>everyone always asking me to repeat
>no experience in anything important
>regular people at work look at me funny like I don't belong there
>min wage is almost half of US, cost of living not that different either
just chop my head already
>>28927676
JANITOR NEEDED:
must be 18-24 years old with at least six (6) years experience. Must have a degree in advanced hydro-porcelain studies along with a master's in hydrology and a doctorate in bio chemical engineering. Applicant must be certified to handle biochemical waste. Starting pay-7.25/hour. Part time only.
>>28929990
Basic income will only come about when robots and machines take over the world
I'm 26 and I never had a job, no fucking experience at all,stem graduate,live with my parents. My life is a failure. Waste my time watching chinese cartoons all day.wish I was dead. Have had 5-6 unsuccessful interviews, giving up on life.
textless e.t.c
>>28930677
e-mail us your c.v.
:^)
I live close to a mall, should i just go into all the shops inside and ask if they're looking for anyone?
I'm 21 and havent had a job since i was 17
>>28929163
>wants to do physical work
Working construction in the summer
S U C K S
U
C
K
S
senpai
ANSWER: stfu and stop your whining, bitch....
These requirements exist as a wall to keep the masses from wasting their time.... What they're REALLY looking for is MOTIVATION, PERSISTENCE, DEDICATION, INTUITION, A WILLINGNESS TO LEARN, AND LOYALTY AFTER THEY ALLOW YOU TO LEARN...
I've never seen 'impressing them' fail
>>28930677
You can't live on your own as a janitor
>>28929390
Have you tried using throat vibrations? I learned it in about 3 days that way.
>>28927676
They'll hire you if you ignore those "requirements" and you're the person they like the most.
