That pain that isn't based on circumstance. That's the worst. It won't go away after a good nights sleep, a good meal, or hanging out with friends.
It's always there. What can one do about a pain like that? One that has no end. The kind of pain that you can't be rid of. Why does that exist? What is the point of the pain that (hopefully) only ends at death? It's just torture.

I've only had one gf in my life. She was perfect. She loved me. I was her first everything. She tried her best. I ended up being a worthless drug addict. I was terrible to her. She broke up with me 2 years ago. She got engaged on monday. I'm no longer into drugs but still just as worthless as ever.

I had one thing as a kid. Hockey. In high school hockey kept me going. I almost made it into a D1 college. I got kicked off the team for selling drugs to my teammates. That was the start of it. Every time I think I can't get any lower...I prove myself wrong.

I realized it was over for me when I lost hope. When hope leaves you, there isn't anything that can be done. There's no way to motivate yourself. No way to improve. You know you will feel like shit and hate yourself forever, but there's nothing you can do.

So much can happen in a short time.

Two years ago:

>had an amazing gf
>had tons of friends
>doing well in school
>hope for the future
>might be able to go pro in hockey if i keep working hard

Now:

>anyone i talk to abandons me after a bit because im a worthless depressed fuck
>i have no friends
>no gf
>in so much pain
>go to work
>go home
>thats it
>i will never be loved/happy again
>stick a pistol in my mouth every night hoping i can do it this time

anyone out there?

origami

>Crippling tendonitis in both hands, 7/10 pain constantly all day, 9/10 pain for typing this out
>Depression i cant fight off anymore because everytime i can im stopped by my hands not working
>about to fail college because of it dont know what to tell family if i do
>trying my best but only reward is even more crippling pain
i dont know what to do anymore homies i think ive lost

>>28921393
Hockey boys are the QTiest

Bost boipucci

>>28921697

I'm sorry anon. I hope you feel better.

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>>28921428
There is a cure for hopeless, self-hatred and depression anon

And his name is Donald John Trump

>>28921744

>implying a politician can fix this hopelessly fucked up country

Revolution is the only way senpai..