ITT the reason why you're currently miserable, small or big doesn't matter, let the bad feels out
>Failing at life, not making pass rates to get into law in uni
>plus afraid of failing first year law and racking up a massive loan all for nothing
>considering military trades due to free qualifications
>probably not be eligible due to mental health
+
>just found out the only person i've been slightly interested in in like the past two years is in a happy relationship with her girlfriend of nearly a year
>doesn't even know who I am
>never even spoke to her just caught the oneitis when I saw her bc skinny qt3.14 with big round eyes and short hair
+
>broke as shit
>getting butt mad over a lesbian you never made the effort to speak with
Kill yourself you fucking waste of space
i'm 29 and only just began college after years of being a NEET and im struggling through a sociology degree
i'm in the middle of a 2000 word reflective essay and i am 90% sure i've not even done it properly, but it's too late to go back. I also need to start studying for an exam that's in 3 weeks for one of my other classes.
i thought sociology degrees were supposed to be easy mode meme's... i feel like you guys lied to me......unless i am actually as stupid as ive always thought i was, not just lazy,
What's the stupid blue-haired bitch from? I see her everywhere.
>>28921098
oh fucking hell, godspeed anon good luck, shit like that's why I'm so terrified of uni how do you not just mentally fry out every day, bless your poor soul
I'm too cowardly to do the small things I want and to stupid to do the big things I want.
I'm just stuck in an infinite loop of making money by slaving my life away.
>most important person in my life killed themselves
>something has broken within me and I'm no longer funny or pleasant to be around
>no job
>have been in uni for too damn long
>going blind
>no friends
>being forced to watch sister interact with a community of hundreds who love her because she's graduating from high school and drive her to and from parties all month
>Smell like shit only at school, no idea why
>Wear clean, fresh smelling clothes everyday
>Wash whole body in shower, including ass, every morning with nice smelling body wash
>Wear clinical strength deodorant
>Breath smells like shit after brushing my teeth but I'm always chewing gum so it doesn't matter
I'm too scared to quit my job.
>>28921122
Konata Izumi, shes from Lucky Star, cancer tier show but ive grown to kind of like her little smug shiteating face
>>28921198
maybe start real real small, do little things like go out and treat yourself to a nice coffee or fork a little out for a nicer than usual meal every week or two, good luck dude
>>28921209
have you considered counselling about that first point? could possibly help relieve a little bit of your misery anon, sorry you had to go through that
>>28921242
maybe see a doctor about it? trying to be helpful but in all honesty you might just be kind of fucked in that right my dude, rip
>>28921022
sounds like shit. you should've told us what else is making you afraid of failing your 1st yr.
>ocd and avoidant
>too empathetic so i cant side with people or positions for too long. lonely and have terrible form of dementia
>constantly need to take naps everyday for no reason without jerking off.
>>28921326
With my level of povvo scum insurance I'm pretty sure anyone I'm covered to see would just throw ssris at me, and then I'd just be sad, zombified, and bed-ridden.
I'm alive and I don't like being alive because I have to do stuff.
>>28921475
ahh damn sorry forgot about the whole healthcare deal in some countries, that really sucks, maybe try some self help techniques, eventually you might be able to get through this and think back about them in a better light with little to no regrets or sadness, good luck anon
>Be 29.
>live with my dad.
>everything his bitch gf says to me sounds condescending as fuck.
>tell myself next time I'm going to tell her to fuck off but I never think of it as it's happening so I just end up ignoring her bullshit instead.
>my dad acts like a complete douche bag to me about getting a job and other shit whenever she's around.
>hating life whenever this shit happens.
>hoping ill find a way out without killing myself.
>>28921348
Maybe, but I smell literally only at school. I'm fine at my house, a friends house, or the doctors. I was talking to my naturopath about it and he said I smelled fine
>>28921380
early onset dementia? shit that's gotta suck can't even imagine living like that and I thought I had it bad, plus OCD that'd be fucking exhausting man, ive got GAD and pretty severe social anxiety and if I go through a bad patch theres a good chance I wont be able to go to my classes or I wont have the energy and drive or confidence in myself to hand in papers, plus no confidence when it comes to asking for help when im struggling so id end up fumbling quietly until I failed and had effectively wasted a large amount of money that I dont even have, everything about uni is sort of 2daunting4me but in the armed forces I feel like theyd push me a lot more which could either help me and help me to get my mess of a life together or it could just completely break me, kind of feels like it could be worth the risk though, I dont really have too much to lose
>>28921598
been in this situation with my dads old busted crackwhore girlfriend, might be different for you because im guessing you're a male but if you and your dad were tight before she showed up and she fucked it all up maybe talk to him about it offhand a few times and see if anything changes, you dont have too much to lose, if he starts to show signs of changing his mind about her dive in with the verbal abuse and make her feel as uncomfortable as possible and she'll hopefully flee, she sounds like a stupid little cunt good luck
>>28921642
hmmm has anyone actually told you that you smell? could just be some pretty hardcore paranoia especially if you've had hygiene issues growing up/in the past, I used to be a filthy little bastard n still get paranoid as hell about dental hygiene and BO 24/7 as a result of it, maybe think about seeing a therapist about it if your country has good healthcare
>>28921824
Yeah, I've walked up on a group of people talking about how I stink, a girl came near me when I was sitting alone and said it smelled like ass, people holding their noses or waving the air in front of their face when they're near me, people moving away from me when I get near them, people saying it stinks when they're near me in the hallways, stuff like that.
>>28921949
thats really strange hmmm, even if you did stink thats just plain fucking cruel and rude, do you ever bite back at them?
>>28921723
goddamn to think youd have to resort to the armed forces for that. i feel like that will just plunge you into more delusion. but if its a way to cope then have at it. i know what you mean asking for stuff like that in law is pretty embarrassing. but think about it if you get judged for stuff like that people will only do it on things that are relative to them. its not like they are looking through your soul or anything like that. hope you do better
>>28922076
No, I'm to much of a pussy and I'm extremely weak. I also know I smell for a fact because I can smell myself. It kinda smells like barn to me, but it's probably a lot worse for other people since I've gotten used to it.
>>28922144
either armed forces or a large chance of being 30k+ in debt with no qualifications it kind of seems like the better of the two evils at this point plus I'm not even sure if i'd get in if I applied, wouldn't be quite so bad if I can get a scholarship though, but yeah if my SA doesn't start to get better (currently in treatment) then it's probably military med for moi, thanks anon hope your situation levels itself out too, godspeed
>>28921022
its almost like looking in a mirror except I've actually failed my first year of law in uni
>>28921022
I have two exams soon and basically know nothing about the subjects and am not sure if I can get myself to study enough to pass
>is it possible to learn enough in two weeks to pass a subject
>>28922211
is it like a kind of a hard to describe musty smell? Do you have any pets? it could be the cleanliness of your room or where/how you store your clothes, I used to live the sloblife hardcore last year (never cleaned, trash and dust piled up, wouldnt/couldnt stop playing vidya long enough to clean my room) and a lot of my clothes would end up on the floor and would kind of get permanently fucked bc I was crap at cleaning so even when I did clean it'd still kind of smell weird and some of my clothes never fully recovered, maybe doing a real thorough (I mean REAL THOROUGH like scrubbing the walls and floors and airing the room out, sunning your mattress, cleaning then sunning/airing your clothing, deep cleaning all surfaces and possessions) clean of your room could help improve it a bit, being in a position like that sucks especially when youre trying hard to change it and people are just being complete fucking assholes I feel like kicking their teeth out with the heel of my foot just hearing about it fuck them
>>28922474
ohh geez, care to elaborate on how it happened?
>>28922478
which subjects are they for?
>isitevenworththestress.png
>>28921598
I mean,,, you are 29
>>28922506
I got into taking MDMA just before spetember, it was like once or twice a week every week until march, lost all motivation didn't do any course work and didn't revise for my exams, my fault but yeah its grim
>>28922485
Yeah, I guess you could say it's kind of a musty smell, but I had a family relative tell me they smelt it once and that it smelt like sulfur. I put my clothes on my dresser and they always smell clean, just checked right now to confirm. I also have 4 dogs. The floor is pretty dirty and really hairy, it's been a couple months since I vacuumed it, and probably a year since I changed my bedsheets. I run a air purifier most of the time to clean the air and get dust out and stuff. I'm probably gonna clean my room and all my stuff this week.
>pretty much gave up at life
>I can't even care about things that happen IRL
>lost my dreams
>I have to put up with bullshit at school
>the only reason why I don't want to kill myself right now is the parliament of /r9k/
>I can't even stand being around people
>my parents know that I'm a failure at life
>I'm not even interested in women
>I'm probably mentally ill
>I prefer spending time with my tulpa rather than with other people
>I spend pretty much all of my time on the internet
> be 20, 9/10, 165+/- I.Q.
> raised in abusive household (very smart doctor mom with well-hidden drug problems + passive, simple dad who hid from mom in the basement)
> isolated for entire childhood
> reach junior year of high school
> after years of passive depression, suicidal ideation takes hold and everything seems hopeless
> one morning mother is hospitalized for overdose
> admit to doctor that things at home are Fucked
> get admitted to acute inpatient mental health hospital
> to avoid legal allegations being made, mother convinces father to ensure i'm hospitalized for months
> etc. etc. etc. fast forward
> living with dad
> having horrible seizures several times a week
> terribly depressed and lonely
> any "friends" who enjoyed my company at some point in the past have moved on
> no support system
> cripplingly aware of how trapped i am
> try to make friends on the internet but masquerading as a male leads to very superficial friendships
> i think i am literally dying and feel the urgent need to do something about it but
> there's nothing
> no one knows my story
> giving up
>Be Lazy, worthless drop out NEET
>Dependent on parents for everything
>Live in garbage town, right near a major road
>Growing anger issues stemming from feelings of powerlessness and dread
>Can't do anything
>Can't move
>Working won't make me enough to do anything
>ineffectual and slowly losing mind
>>28922602
Yeah, you're right. I should just let everyone walk all over me and disrespect me all they want. Thanks, anon. Being a doormat will me great.
>>28922679
>tits or gtfo whore
jk, if you really are how you described than you have a real chance of recovering.
Stay away from this toxic place, it''ll only exploit fears and insecurities, see a shrink and try and get out there whether through college or something else. just stay away from us, we're all doomed
>cousin got in an accident
>might die
>everyone's out of town because of it but me
>dog never wants to come in my room
>it's too humid out
>i cant leave the house
>controller i bought a month ago broke for no reason
>need to see a doctor
>no income of my own
>might take forever to get money for whatever conditions i have
>dog has cancer
>hope to not wake up half the time
>>28922522
Discrete maths and managerial accounting
>haven't attended lectures for either forr more than a month and haven't even looked at the accounting for weeks
>no job
>no ambition
>about to finish my tertiary study.
>general self loathing
>probably have health problems but I'm too much of a coward to ask doctor for a general medical examination
>can't even donate blood/plasma because my one irrational phobia is needles, ties into above point
>kissless dateless virgin
>no licence
Got some brownie points with a girl I'm talking to after meeting her for the first time (will explain if anybody is interested) and she's clearly interested but I just feel scared.
I get the worst anxiety when things are going well. It's the feeling of "this thing is great, now it's time for that thing to be gone"
This attitude just makes things worse in the long run, but I just don't know how to let go and have fun
>>28921022
well I just feel this empty sadness that doesn't let me find a reason to eat or wake up from bed,
I already lost this semester of medschool,, and I am 26, I am old for me to be failing.
I try to stand up and do some house work, Today I fixed the air conditioner and looked for a pasta recipei I coocked it and this things allow me to stop existing for a while I mean I just felt nothing doin it, which was great, I liked coocking some thing easy, I accomplished, but then I just stayed,
I want this to end, I don't have friends, but yet I don't wanto to be seeing, my day was ok due to my siblings not being here, I lived with my brother and sister, the fact that they got away for the weekend allowed me to get out a little, i just don't know why I don't want to be seen,.
i can't even sleep, I enjoy sleeping for 10 hours, I love the feeling of no existing, but I struggle to get everyday like 4-5 hours of sleep, and if I get those poor hours is like from 1 to 5 pm absolute disgusting
>>28924588
I feel those sleep feels anon
>>28924622
Do you have any sleep solutions?
I'm starting to feel hungry I have nothing to eat other than corn flakes.
they say eating something heavy.
are corn flakes heavy enough? Is all I have to eat for the day anyway.
>>28924703
I usually try to eat something. corn flakes would probably do the trick, especially with milk.
I read somewhere that it takes roughly 14 minutes to fall asleep, so I try to keep my eyes shut for at least that long and if I'm not asleep in around 20 minutes, I get up and move or try to switch positions.
Another recommendation is melatonin, it generally works but your mileage may vary
>broke up with gf, if I had more balls to talk I might find out more or even get back together, but I haven't contacted her in a week
>it was easy at first, but yesterday and today when I woke up I really actually missed that person
>slacking off at work
>not doing my thesis
>spending days in this hellhole/smoking weed/drinking/playing vidya
>can't really communicate with parents because all they care about is my career and everything is filtered through that
>aunt is severely depressed, called me yesterday and I had to hang up because I was watching a movie, forgot to call back because I'm a stoned piece of shit
>I have a feeling that if I opened up even a bit more than this in person I'd break down and cry like a bitch
>>28924743
how much is melatonin ?
>>28924760
Not very expensive. you can get about 200 pills (I recommend 5 mg) for like 5-10 bucks. Definitely worth a shot
>>28921022
I found out that my friend that is NEET and lives in his parents basement doing nothing all day has a fiance that works as a school teacher and she is pregnant with twins from him.
That really devastated me. If someone in my situation and worse actually got a gf, got her pregnant, and is marrying her, then there is no hope for me.
I always held out hope that if I improved myself that I would make myself more attractive and I could get my foot in the door to meet women and have them want to be with me. I always held that little grain of hope that yeah, I'm a loser and things are bad now, but it'll get better with age and I'll be able to enjoy a somewhat normie life with a woman. It's something em that happens to everyone eventually, right?
Well hearing that news just dealt the final blow to my hope and faith. If someone like my friend has a loving wife, then there has to be something wrong with me. I finally have come to accept that in different. I'll never have a gf, a family, or any other rite of passage in life.
I've never had any female interest or acceptance and I never will. I'm a 25 year old KHV and I've finally accepted that I'll be one the rest of my life. It's a mixed feeling coming to terms with it. You always crave wanting a gf and a relationship, but on the other hand, it's liberating to be free from the social games people play. It's a very bittersweet feeling. Pure despair mixed with feeling like a burden is lifted, like you're free.
I'm not jealous of my friend, in fact I'm very happy for him. I'm just disappointed, ashamed, embarrassed, and devastated at how shit my life is and will continue to be for the rest of my life. At best, my life is 1/3rd over, and I've never experienced love or female affection. It's very depressing thinking about that.
So tldr, my life is shit and I've finally accepted that it will always be shit.
>>28924782
>I recommend 5 mg
ok this is the last time I annoy you with this questions I promise but.
the mg, is according to the person bodyweight or what?
what other mg do they sell?
>>28924811
The most common I see are 2, 5, and 10. I'm 6'2 180lbs and 5 mg seems to knock me out fairly consistently. Worst case, you can always take 2. I usually don't go for 10 because sometimes it leaves my eyes hurting in the morning but that might just be me.
Hope that helps
>shut-in neet with bad social anxiety and depression
>always paranoid that the people i talk to online have no interest in me/find me boring or annoying
>like talking with people on voice but rarely do because of the above reasons, unless i know the person very well or am specifically invited
>don't understand how i've ever made any friends
nothing huge but it feels lonely
>>28924835
thank you very much, i'll google the rest like side effects and such things and what if overdose.
Again thank you, really I'll go look in my generic pharmacy what they sell.
>>28924857
I wish you the best of luck. I recommend taking it about 30 minutes to an hour before you wanna go to bed. Happy trails anon
>>28924467
h-hello me. when did you post without consulting me first?
>>28921022
I'm miserable because I'm alive.
As long as I live I will be miserable.
>Relationship of well over 2.5 years with person I truly deeply loved is coming to an end
>I don't know if I love her anymore but I care about her more than anyone
>I'm not good for her anymore, she's not good for me, I've changed a lot over the last year and a half due to horribly stressful situations and I've had to adapt extremely to not kill myself
>I'm at another turning point in my life, I have plans in place to have me out of this state and living with my friend in the Midwest (my best and only friend)
>I feel like I can't have her in my life if I'm going to make the changes I want
>Her life is terrible and I feel like I'm about to make it so much worse, we were very deeply in love at one point and she's still very much holding onto those feelings
>for the next month or so I'll be sleeping in the same bed with her every night knowing all of this
>I adopted a cat with her that I'll never see again
>>28922679
do you have any skills?
