>Order the lobster
>Waiter says "excellent choice"
>It wasn't
>neighbour asks me to take care of his doggo while he's on vacation
>dont
>"good morning!"
>it's an utterly shit-raining morning
>Talking to this girl who loves elephants
>Ask her to go to the zoo with me
>Says no
>Make a $75 donation to an elephant refuge under her name
>Now she gets mailed thank you letters and solicitations for more donations
She's none the wiser.
>check out these dubs
>it's actually trips
>>28909777
Nice get, babe
>cashier says has a nice day
>y-you t-too
>don't mean it
these stupid fucking normies fall for this shit every time
>>28909494
why do I find these posts so funny
is it autism
>>28909777
Here's your (you) for the jackpot trips.
>>28909777
oooooohhhh>>28909777
hm mg mgm oohhh trickster 360 xXx_swagmaster_37
OH MY FUCKING god
screencab this!!!11
>>28909798
*Banishes (You) to frog hell*
>>28909777
ABSOLUTE BARBARIC.
>>28909528
Hang tight, Murph ;_;7
>>28909777
Better screenshot this now because you'll never witness anything like this again.
>>28909966
Checked.
>implying this hasn't been done before
>>28909494
>shitpost in /o/
>get a warning
>keep shitposting
>in the store
>get coke
>change mind about coke
>put it amidst pepsi
>Cashier asks if I found everything I was looking for
>Say yes and thank her
>Actually didn't find what I was looking for
>Post 2 star review of a restaurant
>Was actually a top-tier, quality establishment
>>28909777
S-script?
>finished work for the day
>in lineup
>about to get checked out
>one of the cashiers asks me if we have any eggs out back
>"yeah we do"
>cashier looks at me like i'm supposed to leave the line and get the eggs
>stay in line, get checked out, and leave
>>28910240
Bono?
>excuse myself to the bathroom at a restaurant
>actually didn't need to go, just stand in the stall for ten minutes because I was actually having a panic attack and couldn't breath
I got those losers.
>brother and his friend bully me again
>comment "lol" on the normiebook Facebook picture of my brother with his exgf (she broke up with him a few days ago, they wanted to marry in a month)
>block them everywhere
>go to my brothers friends room (that cunt has been living with us for a year now) and nail a piece of paper into the door on which i have written
"fuck off or die"
Over and over again
>they try to confront me through my closed door but i just scream
>they probably think im mentally ill
>im not
Im a master jokester.
Lest my next jest be a dead leech.
>>28910432
John?
Original nigger