I think I'm going insane.
After being socially isolated for years and hikikomori for the past few months, I think I'm finally beginning to crack. Here are my symptoms:
>talk to myself about anything, from the weather to hypothetical situations
>when I play video games I punch myself in the face and scream when I lose a game
>Constant visual snow
>In my mind I can form coherent thoughts but when i try and speak it comes out as a complete mess of words
>fantasise about scaring my family by stabbing myself in front of them so that they stop bothering me
>Aside from excercising all I do is browse r9k and pol for hours every day and pretend I have friends here
It's a shame because I used to be a fairly attractive person, but of course without confidence you'll get no where.
Who else /losingit/
>>28906071
I'm glad I'm not you nigguh. Get a hobby faggot fuck.
>>28906071
I've been lost it for 3 years
go outside
go to gym
get a job
read some books
become a stoic
dress better
shave
its not hard anon
just requires some work and discipline
if you can even manage that, then youre really fucked
>t. trespassing normie
Quit smoking meth
>>28906071
When was the last time you cleaned your room? Or wore clean clothes?
>>28906071
You're mentally ill, anon. It was never meant for you. I'm just the same. People like us were never meant to be in the company of other people. But talking to yourself does not make you crazy. Remember how people used to talk to busts of writers and thinkers they admired in their study? Read up if you have any inclination for it, it'll give you someone to debate besides yourself.
>>28906181
>become a stoic
Memeing too hard here, faggot
>hear voices
>hear random sounds with it, it's very odd sometimes
>Sometimes whenever somebody had said something to me, they say they never said that right after
>see people walk into my room a lot, usually they disappear or whenever i ask they say they weren't there
This all started once I barely talked to anyone for a while
>>28906198
I like to stay clean, so I clean my room every few days and bathe every day.
I usually put on a new set of clothes every 2 or 3 days, because with my lifestyle I'm unlikely tp get dirty or sweaty or anything.
The really fucked part is that I could be a complete normie if I tried but stepping outside just seems scary to me
>>28906071
Imagine this;
what if the best years of your life haven't happened yet?
If you knew that was true, or even possible, what would you do different?
>>28906221
>implying you do anything for anybody besides saying ""mommy""" TENDIES REEEEEEEE
grow up queer
im literally just here to help others up
like i said
the trespassing normie
>>28906071
>fantasise about scaring my family by stabbing myself in front of them
I use to think about going in the kitchen in stabbing myself in the stomach just to see their reactions and laugh my ass off
>Constant visual snow
do you see faces/creepy things in the dark anon? I see static/visual snow all the time.
>>28906275
I don't see anything strange like that, it's just static all the time. In the dark it's much wprse though, looks just like a TV screen.
>>28906245
Well I'm still young and I really should be out there enjoying my life, getting an education and making friends according to my mother.
This should be the best time of my life but it doesn't feel too good mayn
>>28906181
Not OP but
>go outside
Been doing that already. Nothing changed. I go out, walk around the town, maybe go climb a small mountain nearbye, etc. It's always the same. I go out, and then i come back in, and nobody cares.
>go to gym
I have gym equipment at home i use regularly. It's not like i'm not physically fit.
>get a job
Currently don't need one because i have enough money saved.
>read some books
I've read plenty of books. Its just a form of entertainment. Like movies.
>become a stoic
Wtf is a stoic
>dress better
I don't even know how to buy clothes. Or which ones i should buy. Or where from. I don't know what the proper procedure is in a clothing shop. Are you allowed to try thing on, which clothes are for girls and which for man, are you even allowed to buy clothes without a female escort, etc. I would probably look like an autist if i went buying clothes.
That said, i own normal clothes that make me look like a normie. So it's not like i need new clothes.
>shave
Already do. Couple of times per week.
>>28906071
yup
i feel the same way
its pretty disconserting or what the fuck ever that word is
my last friend left this shithole in january and i've barely seen sunlight since then
>>28906071
>talk to myself about anything, from the weather to hypothetical situations
>In my mind I can form coherent thoughts but when i try and speak it comes out as a complete mess of words
>Aside from excercising all I do is browse r9k and pol for hours every day and pretend I have friends here
This shit hit close home
I talk to myself literally all the time, I think everyone does to a certain extent
I think you're only crazy if you expect an answer back
>>28906393
Forgot to mention that despite doing all these, i still feel like OP does, so your post isn't helping.
>>28906393
>I don't even know how to buy clothes. Or which ones i should buy. Or where from. I don't know what the proper procedure is in a clothing shop. Are you allowed to try thing on, which clothes are for girls and which for man, are you even allowed to
Kek. This is why I come here.
>>28906452
>I think you're only crazy if you expect an answer back
>tfw I sometimes hear screaming in my ear when I say something random that I dont think about to myself
>>28906071
bullshit, nice try though.
>>28906814
Normie spotted
I know this seems surreal to you, but there are people out there like this my normo friend.
>>28906932
OP just described what he saw in an anime (welcome to the NHK). I can smell his bullshit from across the globe you special little snowflakes.
>>28906393
What the kind soul that gave this generic advice forgot to mention that social skills like any other skills need to be practiced and used. Or gained if they are missing.
So when one is unable to function socially because of self imposed isolation, one needs to practice being social. There are some guides on the internet, but kickstarting a social life especially if one has none is not exactly easy.
Meeting people off soc might be good for practicing talking to people, even if the meetup goes badly. At least you can assess what you did wrong and what they did wrong.
Another possibility is to volunteer in senior citizens homes, on their web pages they advertise this form of volunteering like being their company. That would of course apply when you did all the necessary basics that get thrown around as if people here are unable to do basic hygiene and other human stuff.
Also going to areas and building where there are a lot of people is good to get used to crowds. Just grab a book and go into park where the local hipsters congregate. Read a book and on breaks observe.
Sorry that my advice is so shitty because it sums up my plans and generally the direction that I want. The hanging out with old people part might be harder to coordinate with my job that I have now, but nothing impossible.
Also regarding clothes, you can make shopping for clothes more fun if you buy from the asian cheap stores. You can even get some pricier items like real leather jackets for a good deal. But one needs to do his research. You can dress nice cheaply, but the cheapness will show. But it will be generally cheaper than cheap mall stores, but with the same quality, and sometimes better fit, since the asians know what to sell, as opposed to neurotic clothes designers worrying about keeping their jobs, so they come up with crazy ideas.
>>28906393
i am in this autist phase where i believe that i have to convince myself flow of information is more important than entertainment in reading. it's not about learning but sharing ideas, interpreting events in different lights. it's about getting excited about a place/state of mind (4chan) you're getting excited about events/goals (demonstrate the mind control properties of semen using multiple citations), or music, you study one dinky melody, you learn to riff off of it, you improvise, you have an entire songs worth of improvisation.
the idea here being that you really want to sink your teeth into what you're working on, so when you go to sleep instead of having one thing going on in your head, you have a continuous stream of thoughts and you don't put yourself in the opportunity where you do nothing but introspect.
you could try joining a discord or playing a game with a mic, if you want to use your voice.
OP get some help, holy shit.
Hey OP Hang in there dude. Im the same. Small steps to socialize more. Maybe see a therapist. Do u use drugs?
>>28907264
No, I'm actually a very healthy, fit person. Physically that is
>>28907233
Is it really that bad? I think having some friends would help maybe
>>28907624
Yes, it's that bad anon. See a therapist ASAP
Literally just workout.
People who don't lift weights literally deserve to be depressed.
Seriously if you're not doing compound lifting at least every other day, you should kys.
>>28907729
That sounds like something a normie would say. If it were really that bad, surely my parents would have done something about it by now? Like that NEET who got shouted at by his father.
>>28907749
He already does work out, you fucking illiterate
>>28906181
I don't have money for those things + I'm mentally ill.
>>28907749
I do work out anon.
My body is healthy, but my mind is the equivalent of a fat balding numale manlet.
I keep hearing my neighbor screaming. It's in the morning and at night, and no cars come in and out of his drive way. The thumping and screeching is driving me fucking insane, should I call the cops?
>>28906071
>browse r9k and pol for hours every day
jesus add a couple of other boards , thats too much pain and hate !
>>28907755
You're physically hurting yourself, talking to yourself, can't speak correctly, and are hallucinating.
Incoherent speech and hallucinations are both signs of schizo. See a therapist, or go to a psych ward. Don't think "oh its not that bad" because it is and it only goes downhill from here. Get help, anon.
You seem to be losing it.
I'd recommend seeing a doctor honestly dude.
A lot of doctors are full of shit though, so I hope you can find a good one.
![[HorribleSubs] Plastic Memories - 13 [720p].mkv_snapshot_21.04_[2015.06.27_14.46.53].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/GwvyQZy.jpg "[HorribleSubs] Plastic Memories - 13 [720p].mkv_snapshot_21.04_[2015.06.27_14.46.53].jpg")
>>28906071
>hikikomori for a few months and already losing it
lightweight but
>I think I'm going insane.
I know that feel.
10 years of social isolation and 6 years hikikomori. My mental health has horrifically degenerated these past four weeks. I knew I wasn't normal like the other kids ever since I was 7 but I never thought my life was going to be this miserable.
>>28907822
I really can't tell if you crazies are trolling or not anymore. If there was screaming from your neighbors why wouldn't anyone else call the cops? No one else is calling the cops because only you hear it, you're hallucinating. Call 911 so they can put you in a mental hospital.
>>28906254
>the trespassing normie
That's not what t. Means
Op it's clear you are schizoaffective or at least bipolar two in my opinion as a private citizen not a therapist. A psychiatrist could probably help, if you're averse to meds see a psychologist or MFT. There's a million ways for you to not face his hardship on your own.
>>28907799
Bullshit
I guarantee you don't regularly do squats and deadlifts
>>28906254
t. means regards, normalfag
>>28907845
Do you have any reccomendations?
>>28907879
My speech problem only really affects me in real life conversations. If I'm talking to someone on Skype or something I'm perfectly fine.
Am I really schizo m8? Fuck
>>28908010
I really don't want to be put on kikemeds tbqh man.
I feel like I would be fine if I just stepped out of the fucking house and made friends. But I just can't do it.
>>28908194
Like >>28908010 said, you're at least schizo affective. Therapist. Now.
>>28908321
Well that's fucked.
Fees pretty unfair that I got handed these cards in life. I guess I'll talk to my parents about it and then see a therapist.
>>28908046
Ever heard of Chris Benoit ?
>>28908491
Most people on r9k were handed the wrong cards. Hang in there.
>>28908046
Why do you so strongly want this to be true? It couldn't be because you have nothing else going for you and feel empowered by being reproachful and wouldn't know how to interact with anyone otherwise, could it?
>>28908194
here are my bookmarked boards. the community is mostly alright on those. But if you're not in the hobby of said board you might get lost
>>28906071
I do that shit and more. You're not insane, just a faggot.
I recommend all of these except forlgbt
>>28908757
Care to elaborate on what you do then?
sounds like you have classic internet addiction. get help, stop whining.
>>28908807
More than you, that's for sure
>>28908757
So you're saying you're a faggot?
>>28907187
>i am in this autist phase where i believe that i have to convince myself flow of information is more important than entertainment in reading. it's not about learning but sharing ideas, interpreting events in different lights. it's about getting excited about a place/state of mind (4chan) you're getting excited about events/goals (demonstrate the mind control properties of semen using multiple citations), or music, you study one dinky melody, you learn to riff off of it, you improvise, you have an entire songs worth of improvisation.
Wait a second I know I noticed something strange in ther
>demonstrate the mind control properties of semen using multiple citations
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NIGGA WTF?
>>28906071
How bad is the visual snow? Do you know if you have some kind of medical condition that can cause it? I'm having it as well, and I don't know why. I hope its not something wrong with my eyes, that its just my body is imbalanced and lacking nutrients which is causing that. Also have a nightly ritual of taking about 200 mg of DPH for the last year and a half, I think that may be a factor as well.
Also I got a really bad concussion a few months ago, I'm feeling better and my head isn't foggy or anything anymore, but I still have the fucking visual snow, and my tinnitus is more noticeable, its not too bad that makes me go crazy, but it is definitely there. I just don't know what the fuck is going on with me health wise and I'm too afraid to see a doctor because if I find out I have some disease or something, its just gonna fucking wreck me.
>>28906071
It's normal in your situation.
You're not losing it. Your brain gets practically no stimulation and subsequently it'll deteriorate. Start by going outside more often, or get a proper hobby if it bothers you so much.
I know because I'm exactly the same except for the visual snow.
>>28908904
It's normal because it's you. You're fucked up though, you need to take responsibility and get help
ive been hikikomori for 1 year and I think Im mentally lost by now. I just can't focus my mind to a certain thing, I always fantasize about shit; like for example I'm watching a soccer match and I keep imagining I'm a soccer player and I win and I have many friends, a wife, etc. and everybody loves me, I can't watch the soccer match itself and know whats going on.
we've been born in the wrong era; 2k yearsago we'd be elite hired killers but now we're just robots.
>>28908890
My visual snow isn't too bad, I only notice it when I pay attention to it, its not like it interferes with my eyesight at all.
And I don't think it's due tp a lack of nutrients because I eat healthy. It's probably some psychological problem I reckon
>>28908963
Sounds like you suffer from "maladaptive daydreaming".
>>28907099
That is nothing at all of what happens in Welcome to the NHK you dumb nigger.
>>28908942
I have. Both therapists I've seen just regurgitate what I've already thought about. Maybe they were just shit though.
Only drugs help, but only temporarily.
Life just isn't worth it for some people senpai
>>28906393
>I've read plenty of books
Harry Potter and Twilight don't count, bud.
>>28909006
It's not terrible for me but it is sort of annoying, especially when I'm in a dark room, I just can tell its there, nothing is pitch black, its like distorted black and its like vibrating by itself, no matter what I do
Probably need to stop the DPH use but I can't fall asleep for shit because of anxiety and it somehow kinda distorts my mind a bit and its unable to really start up my paranoia or anxiety when I'm just laying there in the dark, otherwise its just like constantly depressing thoughts until I wear myself out and then pass out after a few hours, don't get enough sleep, and repeat the cycle. So its gonna suck to have to stop.
>>28906071
I am starting to lose it too. I often curse outloud when i think about the awkward memories. I smile at myself in the mirror and talk while looking at myself. I often fantasize about doing great things. I sometimes get paranoid and fear i am on a government watchlist.
>>28906071
I know what you mean OP.
I talk to myself a lot.
Once I was high I was actually arguing with myself, couldn't control it. That's when I knew I was going insane slowly.
