What is your most embarassing experience?
>calling my teacher mom
Ok this is a long one so sit back, relax and get comfy. when I was 17 I used to watch a lot of porn, every second out of my parents sight I would watch porn. At school we had to graduate a test by doing a presentation which was a website. I stand up there and I connect my computer to the smart tv. (keep in mind 5 teachers and my whole year level is watching) our web link was called porsel and the girl who wrote it was incredibly slow. and everyone sees it. Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,
>was at party with gf
>i high as fuck
>start playing with her ass
>i recieved slap from behind
>i was touching someone else
>her boyfriend Chad came and kicked me out
>my gf left me
>my friends makes fun of me
>Fantasising over teacher being a qt femdom bully
>Fantasising about her bossing me around and me saying yes mistress
>Teacher says my name to get my attention
>Reply with "yes mistress" instead of "yes miss"
I still have nightmares
>>28901766
It's only sad because you never slapped Chad's ass on the way out
>>28901766
congrats, you cucked yahself
>>28901876
how did she and everyone else react?
I showed a hooker my dick and she said "thats it?"
>>28901961
It devolved into a fuckfest
>>28901448
>wake up
>realize I'm still alive
>>28901986
Sounds like a pretty lousy hooker. I hope she didn't cost you very much
>Be me
>Have girlfriend
>At club with my housemates, not with my girlfriend so I try to pull
>Talking to some chic, get her number and we go to leave the club
>As I'm leaving I see my girlfriend leaving the same club with a guy
>We both didn't know each other was here
>We both find out that we've been cheating on each other all throughout the relationship
The worst thing is neither of us got laid that night.
>7th grade
>science class
>halfway through the class
>angry at friend because he stuck a black wirey thing up my nose
>friend wants to apologize
>tell him to beg on his knees
>he gets on his knees and says sorry
>teacher walks in
>looks like a bj
>people in class think we're a gay couple
>>28901758
>Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,Porn,
neato. how did people react?
>couldn't get it up two nights in a row with this girl I had a crush on in college
>she stopped trying after the second time and stopped talking to me
haven't even tried to be with a woman since then, that was 3 years ago
>>28901986
>>28902007
If you paid her you are a cuck.
>>28901448
> had to do the pledge of allegiance
> in my underwear
> in front of a bunch of guys
>>28902155
>haven't even tried to be with a woman since then, that was 3 years ago
this is the worst part.
You know viagra exists, right?
>>28902213
yes but I'm 25, knowing I need viagra to get it up with a woman who I find attractive at 25 is just extremely depressing
>>28902255
Is it more depressing than giving up on sex?
I'm pretty sure my family members, two cops, and two EMT's saw me naked when I pulled a straight Elvis and OD'd on the toilet.
>>28902276
I don't know, I only know one side of that equation
maybe if I get the courage to ask my doctor to prescribe me viagra I'll try it
>>28901758
had same thing happen with me but with my step dad, hes a dick.
it was some brutal names too
like "black whore" "bitch gets throat fucked" etc... he looked at me and looked in disgust.
i was like 13 lol
> gym class
> getting changed into gym clothes
> kids running around slapping each other with towels
> get excited because I'm autistic or some shit I don't know
> shout LETS GET NAKED AND FIGHT
> everybody stops and goes quiet as you'd expect
> followed by haunting laughter, even the teacher was in tears
> never stop hearing about it until I left school
I don't know why I said it, I'm not even gay
>>28902255
To be honest, once I hit around 22 my brain switched over into wanting to have a family and lots of kids. I see a lot of women at uni, and they're just so disinteresting because in my mind they're children. Older women though drive me crazy. Part of it was my only female friend in CC (one of my only friends) was an intelligent, petite, affectionate milf. Fell in love with her, and that's what might have triggered wanting to have a family with a motherly person, not some caked up slut.
>>28902345
That's when you burst into laughter as well dumb dumb
>be 10
>sucking my friends dick in a 69 position he was sucking mine
>his brother walks in
>"what are you guys doing"
>ohshit.jpg
>we're just playing nintendo 64
>>28902409
I did but it didn't cover the fact that I knew I had made a big mistake
>>28902182
It's cheaper than going on date/buying drinks for a girl to get laid.
FYI
>>28902182
He would have already paid her at that point.
> posting on r9k
> think rk9
everytime
>>28902445
how much are you spending on dates/dinner?
>>28902484
its like going out to eat alone but you have to pay for 2 of of everything, also no coupons.
>>28901448
>senior year, had to get a speech credit to graduate
>final speech of the year I had given 3 prior to this and they were definitely subpar but I pushed through
>feeling especially ugly today
>two minutes into my speech I laid my head down on the podium and looked over at my teacher
>I can't do this
>sure you can! You're almost done!
>n-no I can't do this
>I don't really remember much but the room started spinning
>tossed my outline on my teacher's desk
>y-you can fail me if you want b-but I can't do this
>class is giggling and staring at me
>I realized I couldn't be in the room anymore
>go to the bathroom and start sobbing
>girl from the class that I was kind of friends with comes to bathroom and tried to help
>start sobbing louder
>eventually stop crying and make it back to the classroom
>realize that I've caused a huge scene and people are more focused on me than they would have been if I had just given the speech
>everyone's asking what happened
>you were in the middle of the sentence and you just stopped! It was so weird haha! So funny! Aww it was so cute how you just started crying what happened?
>teacher calls me back into the hall
>tell her I really don't want to talk right now
>she gets all red and puffy in the face
>if you don't get out here right now I'll have no choice but to write you up for insubordination and you won't walk at graduation
>make my way out to the hallway with everyone staring
>she asks me what happened etc
>I've been teaching for 14 years and I've never seen someone react to public speaking like that blah blah you were freaking out are you okay?
>start crying again
>bell rings
>she asks me to finish my speech the next day
>get in front of the class stutter and sniffle my way through the last 4 minutes of my speech
a-at least it was the last time I had to see those people right heh
I'm cringing just thinking about it
>>28902484
>how much are you spending on dates/dinner
Faggot nigger normie this is /r9k/, he'd have to spend thousands
>>28902603
Kill yourself normie, I've failed three speech classes at uni. I got a substitution.
>>28902519
Yeah I know, I've been on like 5 or 6 dates in the last year, the most I've spent at any one restaurant is like 50 bucks and even that's usually a pretty good place. Are you going to fucking 5-star French restaurants?
I've never bought a hooker though but I assume it's at least a few hundred bucks
>>28902603
at least you didn't give a presentation with your underwear completely visible and everyone laughing at you and calling you names for weeks afterwards
>>28902639
>few hundred dollar hooker
Haha. Inflation hasn't kept up for hookers, $100 at the most.
>>28902659
Really? I went to Vegas recently and all the hooker advertisements on the strip were at least 200 bucks it seemed. Where do you even find a hooker? I've thought about getting one recently
>>28902659
I need a hooker who will let me shit in her mouth. It's a few hundred dollars, asshole.
>>28902659
Faggot. I'm looking for a straight woman hooker because I'm a straight man. You faggot. Homo. Faggy-ass homo fag fucker dick shit fuck queer penis fuck doo doo anus SHIT DOO DOO ASSPENIS FUCK DICK SHIT ASS FART CUNT DOO DOO DICK SHIT FAGGOT PENIS FUCK DOO DOO CUNT FAGGOT ASSHOLE PENIS DICK FART ASS SHIT PENIS FUCK DOO DOO CUNT ASS ANUS FUCK DOO DOO
>>28902445
>>28902461
you pretty much got robbed
>>28902255
Do you watch a lot of porn/masturbate a lot? Cutting back/stopping could be a huge help for you.
>sister caught me masturbating
>shit myself at work and everyone knew
and that's like the high school princess prostitute who will jack you off with gold dust and puts perfume on her labia.
I prefer the $20 hooker with a clit piercing who was fucked by her dad when she was 4
>>28903690
yeah I do, but when that happened 3 years go I hadn't masturbated in days. I made sure not to masturbate because I knew it was coming. Maybe that is the cause though I don't know
I masturbate once per day on average. I generally don't do it twice a day
>Hanging out with friends
>They have me download a movie and bring my laptop/HDMI cable
>Plug it in to the TV
>It accidentally gets turned off or something
>A girl volunteers to pull up the movie again
>N-no it's fine.png
>Goes to Downloads and scrolls through a sea of 4chan images (including that one of an old man hanging upside own by his testicles) and JAVs
>All of this is visible on the TV screen
>>28901758
>graduate a test
nigger what
>>28901876
>>28901987
Except you were right to call her that
>>28903786
>used to be fat
>worked at grocery store
>ripped my pants wide open 3 times in a month
>one time I didn't have a change and the manager made me go home for the rest of the day
fucking khakis
I, by far, have the worst one:
>threw up all over my dentist
>I was 16
>>28902603
What a heartless cunt. You did nothing wrong.
>>28904045
she didn't own any dogs or cats famalam
>>28903936
>I masturbate once per day on average.
Same. That can still be too much.
>I hadn't masturbated in days.
When excess masturbation/porn viewing is the reason for a loss of libido/erection strength, it typically takes a lot longer than just a few days for things to go back to normal. I've refrained for up to two and a half weeks and only got some function back. I've heard you're supposed to hold off for 90 days, but I don't know how correct that is.
>>28904126
whatever, will you please fuck me now, i said a nice thing
>>28904062
that sucks
comento original
>>28901986
What kind of customer service is that?
>>28902006
Don't worry mate, it gets worse
>be me
>be in 7th grade
>have pants and underwear with holes in it
>get erection
>penis goes directly through the holes
>neighbors could have seen my penis not sure if they noticed
>>28902085
he was probably gay for you anon
>virgin at 18.
>girl I like with bestfriend, both knowing how I feel.
>do nothing.
It is a special kind of embarassment.
Like fear of heights combined with a damage to brocas area, while atop mount everest with your love of life saying: "you just have to say it". Oh and I was a social deviant who can not express myself properly.
I no longer believe friends exist.
Maybe I should become a rape-chad who blackmails sluts and fucks sisters.
>>28904443
did you grow up in Somalia?
I can't even see my balls for my belly. I know they're there. I can smell them
>>28904553
no but i don't had anything to wear at this day
>>28902858
I don't know why you're talking to me like I'm the same person as him. No hooker ever laughed at my dick
>>28901766
>high
>gf
>physical contact
>party
Well hello Norman it's odd seeing you here.
