Has anyone on /r9k/ been to an asian massage parlot? How is the experience?
>>28892934
I'm pretty sure those are just a meme. For the few places that may do this I bet the women are nasty as shit and only lonely old men would find pleasure in it
>>28893035
So have you actually gone to one and found out?
>>28893035
they are real as fuck as long as you aren't black.
>>28893035
they aren't a meme, but very few of them will actually fuck you. you just get the handjob and it's alright.
>>28893101
>>28893153
>>28893079
Name me one place you know of that does this. It's literally a meme.
>>28893189
>What is Rubmaps.com
>What is Backpage.com
>What is AAMP.com
>Being this much of a faggot
>>28893213
AAMP.com wasn't what I was expecting...
>>28893189
come to london and i'll show you, also nuru massage + sex = buckets
>>28893189
http://www.yelp.com/search?find_desc=Adult+Massage+Parlor%2C+Happy+Ending&find_loc=San+Francisco%2C+CA
It's very real
>>28893213
Sorry I'm not a degenerate, I wouldn't know what those websites are. Go ahead and give one a go and let us know how it works out xD
>>28893189
there are fuck loads dude.
are you kidding me? how old are you? this isn't like a new thing.
http://www.luckystar-massage.com/services-and-rates
i recorded my visit and uploaded my visit to youtube.
here's the link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LR4vaO_1_I
Why is there no sort of legal sexual relief available for beta males in america?
A handjob will literally change my life.
>>28893213
>tfw reading reviews on local palors on rubmaps
So close, but so far.
>>28893393
Take a trip to northern Nevada, dumpus
>>28893393
it's called going to a bar and hooking up with someone.
>>28893505
That's called a great way for a nigger to slit your throat for 5 dollars where I live.
>>28893101
they do it for black guys also.
>>28893553
I doubt it, you just sound like a beta. I've had a lot of fun going barhopping.
They're very real, and usually they're really good at giving handjobs.
But the bad part, most of the women that do it are 40+ year old hags. And some of them are very stingy and will whine if you don't give them their recommended tip.
>>28893265
They're alright. The problem is that it's
>decent massage
>decent finish
>decent looks
>pick two if you're lucky
>>28893553
then move you little bitch. a handjob sounds like the least of your worries, nigger.
>>28893553
>this paranoid
I guarantee shit won't happen too
>>28893571
No they don't they have strict no nog policies. Asians have the most neanderthal DNA of any race and neanderthals hated homo sapiens
>>28893625
basically. I've had 5 different chicks do it. None of them were hot but two of them were okay looking and young. The others were old hags.
One of the chicks gave an amazing handjob, but another one sucks, she just tried to get me to cum as quickly as possible and she squeezed my glans while I was cumming, which pretty much ruined the orgasm.
>>28893627
I bet he lives in a really safe city and is just a beta.
>>28893652
That's wrong, Europeans have the most neanderthal DNA, and neanderthal DNA being beneficial is unproven /pol/ pseudoscience. And how the fuck are you gonna tell me they have a strict "no-nog" policy, it was a black man who introduced me to this.
>>28893035
These are definitely not a meme
Like 4 within 30 miles of me were shut down recently for prostitution charges
>>28893588
>>28893627
>>28893652
>>28893656
I live in one of the most dangerous cities in the US and there's killings at the local bars practically everyday. If not wanting a nigger to kill me is being a paranoid beta then sure. Bad enough I live near them.
>>28893682
How do they even get caught?
A handjob though? I mean I give that to myself every night already. If i'm risking this shit i at least want head.
>>28893688
What city might that be? Even shithole cities have nice parts.
>>28893707
You're not risking anything.
And the handjob feels fucking amazing if done right, the chick's hand sliding up and down my uncut dick head felt so fucking good and I came way harder than I ever did from jacking off.
>>28893689
>person gives tip about prostitution to a cop
>cop goes to parlor
>cop busts asians when they offer happy ending
I think sting operations are by far the most common way. The women arrested were like 50-70 year old as they were the ones running the operation. The younger ones got deported kek
>>28893707
hands aren't contagious and they can have very skilled hands.
>>28893727
But how does the cop prove that they offered it?
You get completely naked and I think the chick would notice the radios or whatever. And they don't specifically ask to jerk you off, if they see you're aroused then they point to your dick to which you nod if you want it.
>>28893652
kek, do you have any idea how retarded you sound?
http://xhamster.com/movies/3780674/chinese_massage_parlor_hidden_camera_8.html
His profile is private, but you can see his other vids in the related videos.
>>28893761
bu-but /pol/ told me Asians share the same views as alt-right sperglords
>>28893656
>basically. I've had 5 different chicks do it. None of them were hot but two of them were okay looking and young. The others were old hags.
So from what you could observe from your experiences, pictures like this are just a complete ruse and probably pulled from some jap idol site to capture the weeb market?
Anyone know a good site to find these in Australia?
>>28893782
Correct. It's the same idea as JAV covers.
>>28893782
yes! the best looking chick was a 6/10. More likely you'll get a 4/10 50 year old lady.
Also, Chinese girls don't look like that in real life, in general.
>>28893782
oh and 2/3 of the time, the experience turned me off from Asian chicks for like a month
>>28893781
>literal whores
>preserving the traditions and values of their culture
yeah nah.
they do turn away people who legitimately look dangerous, that fluffy black guy ain't it though.
>decide to get massage
>type "massages in town" into searchbar
>go to the first one (backpage.com)
>seemed legit since I'm in smaller town and thats the kind of marketing my people do
>find an article in patchy Engrish with pretty asian lady saying they have free massages open today
>nice
>do a bunch of dabs and get ready for my appt
>nervous because im always nervous about everything
>walk into parlour and notice off the bat it reminds me of my grandmas house
>smells of old people
>im greeted by an older (60ish-early 70s) asian woman who spoke bad english
>"ohhh bigu boy wantu mersaggge)
>pretty stoned so i just smile and say yes mam
>fast forward 10 minutes
>laying naked on massage bed under the towel when i hear her come in
>"finally" i think "my back has been killing me"
>she then proceeds to whip the towel off, completely exposing me (pretty comfy with being naked so i didnt think much of it, but did think it was odd, but still didnt want to interupt a custom or some shit.)
>i hear an "mmmmm" come from her mouth as she begins massaging my bare ass cheeks
>hmmmmm (somethings up detector is about to go off)
>but let her proceed because damn it felt good
>this goes on for 20 minutes...(massaging my ass while she makes weird sounds)
>she then whispers in my ear "you give me big tip tehe?"
>"uh sure" im just enjoying the relaxing bed thing
>she then flips me over with hulk like strength and beginning jerking my dick like a madwoman
>my eye are as big as the fucking sun
>im so caught off guard by this old asian lady smiling at me and tugging my dick that i dont know what to do
>"you such a big strong boy" she says, "i know what will help you"
>she starts flicking my nipples really hard and doing the stereotypical asian moaning "eeeeeee eeeeeee" CONT
>i couldnt hold back and start laughing at her face
>i then got up and got dressed while i explained i dont need to cum im fine
>she kisses me on the cheek and tells me to come back
>too beta to go to one
>just jerk of to videos that look like they're from real ones
>>28893859
when they ask for bigger tip it totally kills my mood
>>28893884
catering to betas is literally what they do m8
>>28893859
You'd better have gone back.
So, I actually have. Like, a seedy Asian massage parlor with only a back entrance. It's kind of a funny story, actually.
>be me, 18 years old and in a relationship for three years with my first ever boyfriend
>he hated giving massages, my back was fucked up from years of manual labor used to save up enough money to move across country
>he had this big idea to surprise me with a massage for our 3 year anniversary
>doesn't tell me ahead of time
>I show up at his place expecting to spend anniversary with him, maybe cooking and playing L4D (should tell you how dated this is)
>he takes me to a seedy area in Koreatown here in LA
>front entrance isn't open, only shady dark entrance in the back of a parking lot
>what.jpg
>"hey FujoshiBot, I'm gonna go eat next door while you get your massage! See ya in about an hour"
>what
>the inside is barely lit, no one is speaking English
>no windows that were uncovered
>tiny receptionist desk with older Asian woman working behind it
>she looks at me like "uh...you're the appointment for 9:30?"
>explain that it was my boyfriend that had paid for it
>I've never been to a professional massage before
>mildly attractive Asian lady comes out of a room in a long creepy hallway like "wait...what?"
>she just sighs and tells me to go into one of the rooms all disappointed like
>"ok take off your clothes"
>I was on my period (and would have told boyfriend this if he wouldn't have surprised me)
>Im highly uncomfortable with letting strangers see me naked
>slight arguing with massage lady and we finally agree to me wearing my tights and nothing else
>makes me get on bed
>she puts on some "sensual" music
>she spreads oil all over my back and it's creeping down getting my tights wet
>starts giving me a massage, I'm super tense because I'm not comfortable with this at all
>she wipes me w/baby wipes when done
>realize later that it was totally a "massage parlor"
And my ex and I broke up shortly after. Due to cheating, but still.
>>28893896
I don't want to get arrested
>>28893213
Jesus it's so close to me, and in places I honestly wouldn't expect. Kek.
>>28893920
You won't.
>>28893916
I always wondered if they have guys available for if a heterosexual chick wants a massage, with a pussy rub happy ending.
I go once a month, it's a highlight for me. It's a great experience especially when I get the woman I'm particular to. It definitely took a long time to get to this position though, for the longest time they thought I was a cop and I don't blame them.
>>28893970
How do you knoww
>>28892934
I have but it was in Thailand.
Very cheap and very worth it if you don't mind paying the plane ticket.
The best part is when you get back and tell people about the amazing jungle adventures you had when you actually spent 98% of the time in bangkok and pattaya fucking walking sex dolls.
I checked out some ones near where I live in the States. They look tempting but a little too expensive than what I'm use too in the land of smiles.
>>28893924
They're practically everywhere once you start noticing them.
Turns out there's quite a large demand among for no-strings-attached stimulation.
>>28893970
they should have one for women, just find the chads to work there.
>>28893970
You would have to look like a fucking swamp donkey to have to PAY to get your pussy rubbed
>>28894043
is thailand literally paradise? not joking
>>28894041
Because I've went several times and thought about it, the setup makes a successful sting very unlikely. You're allowed to be naked, so even if the cops do walk in she could just stop touching your penis.
>>28894060
yeah but what if a chick decided she wanted to do it just for the fuck of it
fuck, now i'm watching massage asmr videos and i really want one. not even for the happy ending i just want a massage.
It feels so fucking good when they do it right
>>28894063
Nowhere in this world is paradise anon.
But your dollar can get you a whole lot farther there.
And money IS happiness right?
Its also a lot easier to find very attractive and young girls working in the sex industry there.
They are also very open about it and its not really shunned upon like it is over here.
Do you think they'd let me smell their stinky Chinese feet?
>>28894155
asians dont have BO sorry anon
>>28894122
You'll stumble on a dozen happy endings before you find a good legit massage unfortunately.
>>28894115
The market reacts to consumer demands. Such things don't exist because there isn't a large demand for it. This is due to the fact that women have a weaker sex drive and their sexual urges are easier to fulfil. It's the exact opposite for men.
>>28894174
I hardly even care about the massage, I just think of it as foreplay
>>28894063
I'm not gonna lie though. I am kind of addicted to going there.
I've gone once a year for at least a month over the past 4 years. Gonna be 5 years this September.
Its not true when they say girls over there will chase you because "yu big stronk wite man"
Every single one of them is just after your money. And they know if you're white then you have money.
But I don't give a single fuck. They're pussy is so cheap you can over dose on it.
>>28894186
See, if I had to choose between a really good massage and any kind of finish, I'ld probably go with the massage. But since good massages aren't really on offer, yeah, it's basically just foreplay.
>>28893505
kill yourself you normie piece of shit
>>28894228
Do you always have to use a condom? I heard AIDS is pretty prevelant is thialand
>>28892934
Yes, it is okay.
You should know what you are after tho, you don't wanna spend the money and not feel satisfied. Some are more relaxing where others are more sensual, some are strictly no funny business.
If you live in a big city, chances are you can find some escort/masseuse review forum. They have very useful info and recommendation.
For example, I live in Montreal, and I got the MERC and MERB board, they have helped me greatly in getting the most out of my money.
Also, it's easier said than done, but do walk away right away if you fall into bait and switch or something feels shady.
Hope this helps!
>>28894228
How do you tell if they are trannies? Aren't they supposed to be very convincing in Thailand?
>>28894041
the only way you can get caught at all, ever, is if you explicitly agree to a sex act for money
you literally have to confirm to an undercover cop who asks you "this sex act for this $?" and say yes
or for a cop to catch a massage lady confirm "you do this sex act for this amount of money?"
because if that doesn't happen you the law has nothing on you
if you just talk about 'big tips' or 'special ending' ect ect it's an absolute legit loophole
>>28893436
Do you pay to read the reviews or is there a way to view them for free?
>>28894349
check for the feminine penis to verify you're purchasing an authentic thai ladyboy.
>>28893652
IM black and I regularly go to one. Get the most firm/smooth hand hjs ever
>>28894324
You don't always have to wear one. But I do every sing time.
Most places will require you to wear one though. I've been to some that don't.
But I'm getting to the point where I just don't care anymore because I know I'll never be in a relationship back home.
>>28894349
You don't at first. My second session was with a trannie. Got one of the best blow jobs I've ever had. Had to stop after (s)he dropped her underwear though.
You eventually get an eye for them though. There's no shame in asking them either.
>>28894370
prolly not a real chimp then desu
>>28893353
Disliked.
Why are you shilling this garbage?
>>28893851
Whores are also part of their culture.
>>28894361
Do you have any actual sourcing on that?
Suggestive looks answered with grunts are about all the communication that i've needed, would be kind of funny if that were enough deniability.
>>28893859
>"you such a big strong boy"
I hope you replied properly.
>>28894559
what are they gunna tell a judge if they can't prove what the money was for?
are you going to be charged on pure speculation?
if the only 'spoken' agreement is that the money was for 'time only' or 'a massage' how could you possibly be charged
that's the only way people get caught in a sex sting, an undercover cop asks you some incriminating question before you even get in a room or undressed or anything
and I'm guessing the only way those parlors are shut down if the chicks in their bad English incriminate themselves to a undercover cop customer agreeing to a sex act for more money
>>28894701
How can people fall for these?
>>28894701
They charge people for intent to distribute drugs on pure speculation. It's not like there's a universal standard across all crimes, so I have no real expectation on how they'ld treat this.
On the one hand, people like whores, on the other hand, people can't be seen to like whores. The cognitive dissonance could throw it any which way.
>>28893189
Hmmmmm weird why would there be all these massages done by asians under the adult section on backpage
>>28894945
Because if you were to massage a child it would literally change their bone structures
Not massage parlors, but I visit asian escorts all the time
>>28894917
yeah but isn't that like when they have 500lbs of drugs?
I mean I don't agree with charging people with crimes they haven't committed yet, but idk where or how they'd have any leverage like that with prostitution
>>28894945
dude check your city's review board, 99% of these are bait and switch
>>28895069
no, the limits are a complete joke. and the weight of the container can get included to as an extra funny gag they like to pull.
>exchange money with stranger
>sexual acts occur
>exchange more money with stranger
>don't explicitly identify what you're spending the money on
I mean, they've got at least a little bit of leverage even without you saying it.
>>28895174
though it now occurs to me that an undercover cop will not be engaging in said sexual acts. no clue how surveillance would work out though.
>>28895174
yeah but having sex or exchanging a service isn't illegal
in drugs they can tie everything around illegal drugs being involved in the situation
money has to be 'for sex' for something illegal to be happening and the cops aren't doing anything other than incriminating questions
>>28895307
eh, it's really not worth debating. there's precedent somewhere, i'm just too lazy to go look. if you don't know what set the precedent and in which direction, that's fine.
the whores I've visited aren't cops, I know that much, and I'm not too worried about stumbling into a sting.
>>28893101
>As long as you are not black
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
I JUST WANT TO BE WHITE
MY DAD HAD PERFECT WHITE GENES AND HE THREW IT ALL AWAY
Do they do blowjobs at these places?
Fucked some 6/10 Asian for like $100.
Sex is overrated desu.
Didnt even cum
>>28893035
>meme
Does anyone even know what this means anymore.
>>28893916
>tripfag
check
>first boyfriend at 18
check
>completely uninteresting and pointless greentext
check
>irrelevant anime pic
check
>phone poster
check
Back to fucking facebook with you, whore
ive done this. its enjoyable if you can find a chick that wont charge you crazy on the tip.
>>28893035
Its a meme. There are many places like this in my area but they are all 100% run by old wrinkly hags.
>>28892934
In case anyone was wondering: Zhu Yun QiOP's picture is photoshoped
idea is incredibly tempting. but shit like these always looks shady as fuck.
also im still a virgin so shit will be incredibly awkward.
>>28893859
> you are such a big strong boy
y-you too
>>28892934
it's bullshit. they always lie about the women, like will have pretty girls on backpage ads, and the girls you get when you arrive are average at best.
the pimps and madams are also gruff as hell.
stay away. if you want to have an experience with an asian girl, find reputable escort agencies and see if they have asian girls working for them.
>>28893726
>uncut
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>28898324
hi-res would be preferable
>>28898324
why someone do that. thats already pretty perfect. dam
>>28893035
Yes anon, it's such a meme it prompted political debate in my country. Asian massage parlors embarass people precisely because they're subtle and don't cause trouble, which western governments would hate to admit because "prostitution is evil" and "all races and cultures are the same".
Would it be looked down upon if this was someones first sexual experience? Not losing virginity, but the whole oral and body rub shindig?
>>28893189
You're a sheltered youngfag who doesn't know anything about the world yet.
>>28893213
>Rubmaps.com
>$15/month to read the reviews
wtfug
>>28895502
The word "meme" has become a meme and its going to kill the word pretty soon
>>28895502
>Does anyone even know what this *memes anymore.
FTFY
