Alright r9k, I'm looking for your take on this situation.
>chatting a lot with girl at work, comes up and talks to me on smoke breaks, talk when we're at our desks about a few spots away
>she makes sure to mention her boyfriend to me a few times, I don't really react much
>somehow conversation of relationships comes up again
>say to her "ive found it really doesn't matter if a girl has a bf, girls do what they want, if they like their bf they'll stay, if not they'll look for other options"
>things get a tad awkward for a second, pretty sure she knew what I was getting at
>takes a couple weeks off work after that week
>comes back to work, starts complaining about bf that week about how he's borrowing her car all day a lot
>her eyes seem to light up more when she's talking to me now
>try and play it cool still, thinking she still has bf
>2 days ago I overhear her talking to a co worker about her bf and co-worker tells her that she should break up with him over what he just did, but doesn't tell me, I don't ask either
>yesterday comes to work trying to look good, wearing make up etc, talking to me as usual
>mention some thing she's going to be at today, some tailgate type thing for watching old, rare cars driving up and down main street
>I see this as a sign I need to ask her if she wants to meet up there
>trying to time it right, don't really have a great chance where she's isolated 1 on 1
>try to walk out of work at same time as her but somehow she walks out first, so don't have that chance
>I walk outside as shes opening her car door like 25 feet away
>wanted to stop her and get her number, but pussied out because it wasn't the perfect situation
What do r9k? I do have a problem in the past of mistaking friendliness for flirting so I kinda was wary of asking her out. Plus she never mentioned anything to me about whats going on with her and her bf, I maybe should have asked but don't really want to pry and look like I'm desperate or something.
Shameless self bump pls r9k what do here
best advice i can give u is just to act like u dont care abt her or her bf
don't do it. casual sex is not worth it (especially if you work with the girl), and dating a cheater is always a bad idea. you can keep flirting with her if you like, but fucking her will lead to awkwardness at best and potentially total cuckdom
>>28885956
Well that's kinda why I laid off from asking to meet up with her this weekend, like she was probably fucking this guy a few days ago, I don't want to come in as a rebound. And I understand to act like you don't really care as much, if I had asked to meet her there after she said something it probably would have worked, but as far as I know she has a bf still, I don't even know if they broke up, I know my co worker was telling her to, but idk if she did.
And I don't want to ask because that looks desperate. What I'm going to do is next day at work ask her about it, and ask if she went with her bf. I couldn't really think of any way to ask about bf yesterday. I probably just should've got her number but then that's so obvious.
Should you ask a girl out anyway even if you assume she has a bf?
>>28886061
She wouldn't cheat, she would just break up with him and then we'd start talking outside of work basically. I don't really want to ask to talk to her outside of work if as far I know she's dating this guy. I'm pretty sure she's into me, I've had chicks at my jobs into me pretty much every job I've had because I have a fun personality at work and I'm able to get comfortable. She laughs at a lot of shit I say, even if its not that funny, but sometimes she legitimately laughs and tells me I'm really funny. I just don't want her to assume me as just a co worker friend, but that's kinda what I'm leaning toward at this point.
>>28885834
>look like I'm desperate
Well, you ARE desperate. Why can't you just stop overanalyzing? Just ask how are things with her boyfriend and if she is not dating him anymore, you ask her out.
But honestly, you seem too much of a pussy to handle a relationship and too worried about meaningless stuff, maybe you should focus on studying or working out, improving yourself first, then you will become more laid back and easy going.
>>28886179
>She wouldn't cheat
Every woman cheats if it's the right type of guy.
>>28886184
I could handle a relationship, yes I have stuff that I need to work on, but I'm still likable as I am, I have girls interested from time to time. But somehow I can't into gf for some reason. I know how to deal with girls, I'm not a pussy or super emotional, I'm pretty real with myself and with others. I could handle this chick, I'm a few years older than her, we get a long pretty good, I'm pretty open with her and told her about some shit that happened to me that would make most people not want to talk to me but I told her and she seemed cool about it.
I think she was hinting at me to go so I could meet her friends and get their take on me. I do tend to spill spaghetti in large group situations, especially when I am trying to get with a chick, I'd rather go out 1 on 1 first then go meet her friends, but I get that she wants her friends opinion of me, which I don't know what that would be.
>>28885834
DON'T SHIT WHERE YOU EAT YOU FUCKING IDIOT
>>28886368
You seem to care too much, but meh...
>>28886420
I really don't care tbqh, we don't really have to talk to each other at work to do our jobs, it would be not too hard to coexist if shit went bad. Plus I actually do kinda like this girl and the fact she's cool with me after the shit I've told her, I'm not just looking for a casual fuck, I'd like to date her.
Basically why I didn't ask is because she needs to be able to stay away from this guy, if she stays with him after this weekend then it means I would've just gotten cucked anyway, if she likes me she'll keep herself available and wait til I ask her out.
>>28886455
I know that pretty much is my problem, just don't want another humiliating rejection if I happen to be misreading the situation. Once I get past the point of asking her out and then going and getting her attracted to me more, I'm home free.
Just the suspense and all the unknowns that could happen leading up to that time is what fucks me. Its like should I be super direct and just flat out ask her, which can be a good strategy sometime, or try and play it cool and not give away that I like her, in order to make it more exciting for her when I do ask her out? Its a catch 22 but I need to pick option 1 in the end. Not entirely sure she is into me at this point.
Does having a girl tell you where she's going to be hanging out a sign to ask to meet her there? Cause its possibly just a normal conversation and she's going with her friends, not really trying to get in the way of it and make her feel awkward in front of a bunch of people she knows, and I know none of them. The odds are not on my side in that situation.
>>28885834
just fucking ask her out already pussy who cares about her bf
Who fucking cares if she's not into you, you gotta do something other than waiting around like a pussy
>>28885834
just drop her your number sometime??? like write it down on a piece of paper and say to her to text you after work
>>28887022
I've never really been a fan of that, I always just go up and ask them for it, I just need a reason to ask her for it.
Probably should figure out bf situation first, and ask if she needs time by herself or if she was already pretty much moving on anyway. So who the fuck knows, just didn't wanna seem desperate, even though I fucking am
>>28885834
Why the fuck does asking a girl out have to be so complicated, so many shit tests and "signals" you have to read, that's way too fucking complicated
>>28885834
Ask /adv/ you fucking faggot normie.
>>28887337
this is only for ugly males, if the girl finds you physically attractive she makes it easy for you, like talking to you all the time and touching you, and saying shit like "sooo what are you doing later XD" and when you are average or ugly she just reacts coldly or lukewarm at best at everything you do or say, which makes you constantly over analyze everything and eventually get nowhere
>>28887441
I did, shits way too slow there not many people posting
>>28887456
This
I hate this so fucking much
I have to think a lot before saying something
Meanwhile an attractive male can say whatever the fuck he wants and his outcome will still be a lot better than mine
>>28887591
Not really bro. This cute girl got a crush on me and I barely said anything or thought about what I was saying (I am dumb as fuck). And I am pretty average looking.
>>28887591
Ugly or average people are always on the verge of blowing their chance because if you fuck up then there's no recourse. If you're Chad then you can fuck up a few times and she''ll look past it because of looks. And women try to say men are superficial, not more than women
Do you see your current job as your career? If not, ask her out subtly. If yes, then forget it. Everyone gets over their crush eventually.
If you do ask her out, you have to make it seem like it's not a big deal at all. On the date, keep doing you.
Trust me. It's really not a good idea. I've done it twice and one time it led to a divorce.
>>28887643
I got some (pretty) girls that are sweet to me to, but they are rare
>>28887654
Few?
If you're like 9+ attractive you can be a fucking asshole and girls will still look over your bullshit
>>28887659
I'm about 60-65% sure she's into me, but if not that's fine too, it will sting for a little bit but will be okay, and I'll make it clear than theres nothing personal if she rejects me because its not like you can control who you are attracted to, she's still real nice and sweet so I wouldn't mind just having her as a co worker friend, so that's the worst thing that could happen pretty much.
