>wake up at noon
>tum tum wants num num
>top off piss jug and stumble outside my room
>hsss the sun is too bright
>close door and begin punching my wall
>MOMMMY TUM TUM WANTS NUM NUM
>MOM MOM MOM MOM
>she yells and tells me to calm down
>hiss at her through wall
>TENDIES MOMMY, GIVE ME SWEET CRUNCHY TENDIES
>tell me to do it myself
>get mad and fling my door open
>wildly flailing arms and screaming
>NO MOMMY, I NEED TENDIES NOW
>mommy walks away and tells me she's calling daddy to deal with me
>UH OH daddy is gonna hurt me
>rush to room and open the floor board and hide in the crawl space
>daddy comes home and starts yelling at me
>HSSSSSSSSSSSSSS TENDIES, MOMMY WONT MAKE THEM
>tries to get down but he has bad knee
>ANON GET THE FUCK OUT
>HISSSSSS TENDIES
>dad walks away
>i stay down in the filthy dirty covered crawl space for three hours
>mommy eventually brings me a plate of warm crunchy tendies with my favorite dipping sauce
>tfw this is the bullshit i have to put up with
Kill yourself
I have seen some pretty fucked up people on here but that is by far the most autistic thing I have ever read.
The reason why everyone is so damn beta is because of too much time spent indoors and on the computer
Just die already. I'm a normal fag hahahahah.
>>28880469
Shit bait
Try harder next time, kid
>>28880570
In which part are you referring too.
I am serious about the kill yourself thing
As for the normal fag I am not. I am actually a cyborg.
So half right I guess
Fuck off m9-1
>>28880672
>I'm actually not trolling I'm from reddit and this is the first time I've read anything like this
>>28880373
ITSUBATSU
>>28880373
That sounds awful anon. You should consider calling the cops on your parents to teach them a lesson.
Could of made then yourselves anon. I mean it's just tendies.
>>28880373
>Not keeping a chest freezer and microwave in your room so you never have to leave
You had it coming, honestly
>>28881184
>>28881321
Only normies make their own tendies. senpai
>>28881184
But it's mummy's sworn duty to make tendies for her good boy whenever he may desire
>>28881569
what he said
>>28880373
add me to the screencap when this gets on plebbit
>>28880373
Doing God's work OP keep it up.
>>28882899
I'm bottomlulz ama while I screen cap this thread
>>28882899
Reminder that Reddit is for cucks and fags.
>>28882989
And this place is for...?
>>28882989
well no shit
>unoriginal
>>28880469
All he wanted was some nice chicken tendies...
>>28881059
Thanks anon I'm thinking about it. Is it possible to sue my parents in good boy court?
>wake up at noon
>hungry
>call mom and ask for tendies
>"anon, you're 2000 miles away"
>go back to bed
>>28883775
A cold, soul-crushing reality for most of us here.
>wake up to the smell of rotting flesh
>realize I shit myself while asleep
>the smell is repugnant, but I'm too lazy to get up
>sleep for another hour
>wake up, drag myself to the sink where I wash my shit plastered ass
>throw my shit sheets downstairs for mommy to wash
>play vidya
>mommy brings up freshly cooked tendies and makes my bed while I eat them
feels good mayne
>>28884769
>the smell of rotting flesh
Who died?
>>28883090
>And this place is for...?
NEET robots with huge dicks.
>>28880373
Why post these shitty stories? They are no longer funny. Are you going to screencap it to post on reddit for some upboats?
>be my last birthday
>finally the big 3-0
>mummy automatically gives me 10 extra good boy points because it's my birthday
>i wake up and instantly release my bowels in my crib because it's my birthday
>mummy comes in and asks me what i've done
>"poo poo mummy, now come the pee pee"
>pull down diaper and piss all over mummy
>"Anon! What on Ear-"
>"POO PEE POO PEE MUMMY I'M 30"
>"y-yes a-anon hahaha i guess you are"
>"you look sad mummy! What's wrong!?"
>"n-nothing son"
>"mummy i want my cake! I WANT CAKE!"
>mummy brings me my tendy crisp crunch cake
>"mhh yum yum tendy cake! tendy cake!"
>after cake i want my actual tendies, i call for mummy
>"mummy deliver me the tender tendies!"
>"sorry anon, i had to use them all for the tendy cake!"
>"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
>instantly force the whole undigested tendy cake out of my anus and hurl it at her face then piss myself as a defense mechanism
>"you ruin everything, whore!"
>she starts to cry
>SHE's the one crying after ruining my birthday
>>28885838
Chicken tenders directly ON the cake itself? You really are a gluttonous pig.
>>28885222
my insides
>>28885222
my sides after reading this thread
>>28880672
>cyborg
That's just a failed normie.
>>28886947
You mean, like, one foot out the nest?
>>28885838
This story kind of depresses me
>>28887408
In what regard?
>UH OH daddy is gonna hurt me
>rush to room and open the floor board and hide in the crawl space
>daddy comes home and starts yelling at me
>>28880373
Screencap me /r/4Chan.
>>28880373
I missed the part of your story in which you killed niggers. Did you forget?
>>28880373
These stories are depressing because even though they're not true they're basically just an exaggeration of the truth. I'm 26 and while I don't wear diapers or throw tendie tantrums, I'm still basically a manchild who relies on my parents for everything.
It's an easy life but it does feel increasingly strange with age.
This is a good thread and it deserves a bump
Nothing like tendies stories. AhhhR9k. Yawn.
check me out reddit
>Mummy walks in the door holding bags of groceries
>"Looks like mummy got some groceries, and she looks friendly. I wonder perhaps, did she pick up my tendies?"
>Yes, anon, I got you your tendies. They'll be ready in time for dinner.
>"Methinks, perhaps, they'd best be made now; Lest ye become burdened by poo poo somehow..."
>Anon, I don't have time. I need to go pick up your sister from school.
>"Sissy can wait, but poo poo cannot. The tendies will be here and they will be hot."
>Please don't do this again, anon. We can't afford to keep buying you new diapers.
>"You've forsaken me whim, let the poo poo commence. The contents within will be quite immense"
>What are you... OH MY GOD, ANON. THAT SMELLS TERRIBLE
>"I warned you, dear mummy, most surely I did. This is what you get for neglecting your kid!"
Then I played CS: Go for 26 minutes and went to take a nap. Upon my awakening, a warm plate of tendies. Life is comfy.
>>28885838
What a bitch. Why would she try and ruin her precious gift from above's big birthday?
>>28889476
Not a fan of Reddit much anymore myself. *sips brown normie fluid* Am I mistaken, or did I rustle your jimmies?
>>28889691
>"Methinks, perhaps, they'd best be made now; Lest ye become burdened by poo poo somehow..."
my sides are in orbit
>>28880373
Well i guess you are scum of the earth
>>28890067
How is HE scum? The parents were abusive towards their good little boy!
>>28885838
>tendy cake
Is this an actual thing?!
>>28885838
>instantly force the whole undigested tendy cake out of my anus
That wasn't the cake, dumbass, that was whatever you ate the day before.
This whole fucking thread is full of newfags and redditors. Normally, I like seeing stupid people fall for fake internet stories, but this is fucking disgusting. Not a single one of you knows what a tendies greentext is? That's proof this boards gone to shit, big time.
>>28890846
Clearly, you are not ready for the summer.
>>28890885
I don't know, these threads have popped up frequently before summer and there are usually just as many playing dumb
>>28880373
Methinks OP needs to have a special little "chat" with daddy.
>>28885838
>"sorry anon, i had to use them all for the tendy cake!"
Stupid bitch should've had the courtesy to go out and buy more. It was your damn birthday!
>Mommy gives me $20 and tells me to go walk to the movies so she and New New Daddy can have some alone time
>"For tickets alone, this sum shall suffice. But I must eat too, and that begs a higher price!"
>Jesus Anon, when are you going to stop talking like that? It's really getting on my nerves
>bitch still gives me another $20
>"Mummy, upon leaving the theatre, the hour will be late. A ride I demand, and I don't like to wait!"
>Anon, the theater is a 5 minute walk away. Get home yourself
>"Neglect of your child is the worst of my triggers. Do you wish to see me set upon by unruly niggers?"
>Anon, don't use that language! We live in a safe neighborhood, now go
cont.
>>28880672
>Cyborg meme
Almost as cancerous as the fembot meme.
Please go away you normie.
>>28891988
LOL this is a work o art anon. Make a thread just for these tid bits of its
Haven't seen one of these threads in a while....
Stop muting me, robot! ;_;
cont.
>"The march to the theatre looms long and unfriendly. To maintain my stamina, I require Tendies!"
>mummy is visibly mad at this point
>Anon, I'm not making you more tendies, you had two cases earlier. Your body doesn't need any more!
>"Ah, i see it's a matter of my digestive capacity. The solution, I assure you, is not beyond my sagacity!"
>stick thumb down throat
>puke all over mummy's special Just For Daddy dress
>"My stomach is emptied, it demands to be refilled! Now cook up more tendies, the only task in which you're skilled!"
>mummy starts crying
>walks toward bathroom
>I pull her back into the kitchen
>she makes tendies while crying silently
>>28891988
>>28892257
That's a beautiful story anon. Brought a tear to mine eye.
>on my birth day today may 28
>ride my bike to the store (got a DUI)
>mommy didnt gave me birthday money
>take a box of beers and try to leave
>"sir did you paid for that?" "no"
>explain that its my birthday today
>he tries to take my box and i struggle
>spit spit spit in his face three times
>he let go and i run to my bike
>police comes when i'm riding home
>angry explain that HE attack me
>they want to arrest me on my birthday
>take me to jail and call mommy
>she comes and pays the man for me
>sad becose now she cant go on her cruise
>should have jus gave me the money
theres no WAY im NOT drinking dizzy potions
on MY birth day!
>>28892622
You did the right thing putting your mummy in her place, Mr. Stink, but good boys shouldn't be drinking dizzy potions - only fizzy mountain dews to accompany warm, crunchy tendies.
>>28892622
Is today really your birthday? It's my birthday today. Turned 21.
>reddit - the thread
>>28885838
this story makes me laugh and feel sad at the same time i don't know what im feeling
>4am last tuesday
>I have wandered out of my bedroom to the kitchen
>had specifically asked mom to buy me a cherry pie for this night
>I look through the fridge and then it catches my eye, a beautiful pie with a note that says "For anon <3" on it
>pure ecstasy flows through my body as I get my special fork and take the first bite
>the rancid taste of strawberry fills my mouth
>I gag, almost choking
>I don't mind strawberry normally but I specifically asked for cherry and did not expect this
>I never asked for this
>the pie basically raped my mouth
>with all my strength I smack the pie and make it fly across the kitchen
>I begin throwing all of the food out of the fridge in a fit of rage until mom comes down
>run up to my room and push her over yelling "you're a strawberry cunt"
>she falls on my drum set I put in the living room and begins crying
>I run upstairs and shove my head under the sheets until I fall asleep
>the night after, go downstairs to rummage for food and there is an assortment of pies in the fridge
>mom flinches when I walk by her now
>>28889691
every day we stray further from god.
>>28880469
how
new
can
one
faggot
be
>>28892622
>she comes and pays the man for me
>sad becose now she cant go on her cruise
Curious, how much was bail?
>>28880672
m9-1
kys
oregano
>>28893198
>the night after, go downstairs to rummage for food and there is an assortment of pies in the fridge
>mom flinches when I walk by her now
You, sir, are a champion of NEETs. If only OP had your confidence.
>"Ma ma!" I cry, "Ma Maaaaaa!"
>Mama comes rushing in
>What's wrong, my little precious?
>"Baby thirsty!" I shout
>I'm on it, honey
>While she's rushing back upstairs to get me a Cherry Coke Zero, I get fully nude and lay on my bed, ass facing the door
>She opens the door
>Oh, goodness anon! What is this?
>"Burp me, mommy!"
>Maybe we should wait until after your bubbly drink?
>"Burp baby now!"
>She sighs, then agrees
>She starts tapping my gently on my bottom
>Can feel it coming
>I emit a large belch, then I turn over and curl up on her lap
>She seems immediately disgusted and runs away
>Yells at my from the door, "Mummy shouldn't be making your wee wee hard, poopsie"
>Normie bitch says this every single time, and still does it anyway
Why are normies so stupid?
be 32 year old beautiful, happy bouncy baby boy with a bright future ahead of me
>6pm, just woke up, getting my morning ceweals
>enter mommy, she sits down in front of me as i happily pick apart the marshmellows in the cereal and eat them with a spoon full of milkies
>"honey, your dad and i have been talking, and we think its finally time for you to get a job..."
>i stop her immediately after that
>"mommy, what are you...?"
>an incomprehensible rage takes over me, i quickly lash out at mommy
>rip off my poopy diaper that she hasnt fucking changed since last night
>throw it right at her face, makes a big splat sound and she falls back from the force and velocity of the poopy diaper smacking her
>as she is stunned and wiping the poopies off, i stand over her with my fists clutched, she is cowering with her hands over her face, stupid fucking bitch
>i remind her that baby doesnt like it when his diaper changing bonding with mommy time is forgotten
>start peeing all over her, she probably wants to be washed off by now
>punch in the stomach and make sure she doesnt tell anyone what happened
>later that night, she comes in with a plate full of fresh KFC tendies and a new diaper, kisses my forehead and tells me to have a good night at 10 pm
>>28894343
>cherry coke zero
My nigger
Best Coca-Cola product there is.
Baby wakes up in the morning hungry for his tendie meal
He starts shouting for his mummy, and so loudly it's unreal
"Wanna eat my chickie tendies, so please give them to me now,
And don't forget to bring the ranch, you fat, ungrateful cow"
Mummy comes in with a smile on her face
"Just a second hun", sounds like she knows her place
After just a minute comes my favorite food in bed
And I sit there eating chicken, happy baby has been fed
Mummy comes back later for my dirty dish and plate
And now I need more tendies to properly satiate
So I throw the plate at mummy and I tell her what I need
But I threw the plate so hard at her that she began to bleed
Mummy took my good boy points away
And she told me that I will be grounded for today
This is an injustice for the good boys everywhere
Time to release plan B inside of my underwear
I sit in my bed and then I have to concentrate
And release manifestation of my overwhelming hate
And when all is said and done,that is when I begin to bawl
Mummy comes back in, because she's at my beck and call
I watch her face when she smells the smell
"This is it dear mummy, this is my personal hell"
"Baby made a poo poo and needs mummy to change"
"Don't forget my good boy points, cuz I yelled out your name"
The morally of the story is that baby's always right
Gotta put mummy in place when she puts up a fight
She will want to ground you, but try as she might
When she messes with baby there is no end in sight
Cherry Coke Zero is such a joy
To go with chickie tendies for mummy's little boy
And in the morning we will do this all again
That's why daddy left us, because his is not our friend
>>28888901
Yeah, I think this whole thing was born out of a deep-rooted self-loathing.
>lay in bed all day playing X-box
>tummy starts to grumble
>realize I haven't eaten in two hours
>too fat and lazy to get out of bed
>raise my 150 lbs grease coated arm as a half devoured tendie escapes the endless rolls of flesh on my side
>bang on wall 3 times to summon mommy
>mommy walks in, looking annoyed and tired
>"its 11pm anon what do you want?"
>open mouth to let out all of the revolting gases that have amassed in my guts after months of digesting tendies.
>mommy turns away from me and holds her mouth, vomiting in her hand.
>MAKE ME TENDIES NOW REEEEEEEEEE!
>mommy bursts into tears and runs downstairs, remembering what I did to her the last time she didn't make tendies for her good boy
>a few minutes later mommy comes upstairs with a fresh batch of tendies
>feels good man
>mom slowly approached the bed and apprehensively reaches out plate
>"h-here are y-your tendies anon, y-youre a good boy"
>swipe the plate away from her
>open mouth again to reveal all my yellow, decaying teeth, harboring all forms of bacteria and fungi.
>mommy vomits all over me!
>vomit is absorbed by the tides of fat that seem to endlessly fold all over my sickening excuse of a body
>causes a displacement of matter inside the rolls, making age-old tendies float to the top of the vomit-sea inside each roll of fat
>wipe off mold that has grown on the old tendies and throw them on the plate
>mfw I have more tendies
>mfw mommy called me a good boy
Feels
Fucking
Good
Man
>>28880373
Glad things worked out for you in the end, but you should definitely call child protective services next time something like this happens.
>Wake up dad at 3am
>Tell him i'm hungry for chicken tenders and to go buy some now
>Says he has wake up early for work tomorrow (dumbass that's today) and he'll pick some up on the way home
>Fuck that
>Place subwoofer speakers against the wall facing parents room and blast https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPRF1gXh5VY
>He knocks my room door for 5 minutes meekly asking me to turn it off but I kick back and scream CHICKEN TENDIES every time
>Finally he stops and gets in his car and comes back 40 minutes later with my tendies
Kek fucking normalfags
>>28896422
>40 minutes later
seems legit
>>28880469
can one man be even newer
>>28896849
It's summer, expect more of them
>>28891988
>>28892257
Did you still go to the movies?
>five months after new year
>tell mommy i wanna shoot fireworks
>she refuses
>1 hour later she goes to take out the trash
>i lock the door behind her
>she demands to let her in because it's cold and she doesn't have any outdoor clothes
>should've thought about that before saying no to me
>jump on beds, draw on walls, shoot fireworks out of windows, play floor is lava for 4 hours
>finally decide to let mommy in
>she's curled up outside the door
>scream at her to carry me to bed because i'm tired
>she won't answer
>won't even bother to move to acknowledge me
FUCKING NORMIE SLUT
TOO FUCKING LAZY TO EVEN CARE ABOUT HER SON
>Listening to Nightcore and eating chicken nuggies
>Mummy comes up
>Tells me I need to move out by the end of this month, I'm too old to stay with mummy
>She says she's willing to pay rent until I get a job
>Dumb bitch made me pause my Nightcore for this
>I swiftly grab my favorite katana from my katana collection and lay my trench coat on the floor ready to embrace a foe
>"Anon, what the fuck are you doing with your toy sw-"
>I laugh and charge at her
>"Then feed me my chicken nuggies in hell"
>I trip over my lego building set and bruise my knee
>Start crying for mummy
>She sings me a lullaby and rocks my head back and forth
>Fell asleep holding mummy
>Wake up with extra chicken nuggies fresh and warm
>Don't have to move out
Fucking normies, they're finally learning.
>>28885838
>>mummy brings me my tendy crisp crunch cake
>tendy crisp crunch cake
I'm trying to picture what this looks like. How is it prepared?
Who will play pepe in the inevitable biokino?
>>28889691
You can be proud of this one
>>28898444
>Who will play pepe in the inevitable biokino?
Dylan O'Brien
>>28896121
>remembering what I did to her the last time she didn't make tendies for her good boy
And what might that have been?
>>28896121
Oh god, this is the worst one yet. I actually got nauseous reading this.
>>28898444
Checking these trips for kek
>>28881184
and lose his good boy points for touching the oven? please think before posting
>>28880469
If you are normal, you don come here kid.
>>28880469
>>28880672
The normie doth protest too much, methinks
>>28880373
is somebody going to post this to reddit xD hope u get plenty of upboats :DDDD
>>28894343
/r9k/ has just become a baby fetish board
>>28890732
Sure, try to use logic here.
>>28885690
I love them so much, especially the chick version
>Be NEET
>Parents are wagecucks, tell them how pathetic they are at dinner every night
>One day wake up, 6:30
>Nobody woke me up for dinner at 6:00
>Run down the steps, screeching at my parents for trying to let me starve
>No answer
>Hmmm
>Go into parents room
>See them both dead, holding hands, a gun in each of their off hands and a bullet wound through both of their heads
>Note between them
>"Dear anon, we are sorry, but we cannot stand this type of existence anymore. We both love you very much, but our lives simply aren't worth living if they're going to be like this. We left you chicken tenders and bagel bites in the freezer, and instructions on how to reheat them. We're so sorry honey bunches. Please, please forgive us, and be okay. Love, mom and pop."
>mfw my parents became an hero because they couldn't stand being wagecuck's anymore
>Start to panic, know that Jewman will make me leave the house if they find out my parents are dead
>Hide their bodies under the mattress, eat the tendies that they left me (ignore shitty bagel bites)
>they left me enough power and internet to last a while, play Smite & Runescape for a few weeks
>Eventually run out of tendies
>Go to the bites
>Almost out of those when I hear a knock at the door
>It's Mr. Shekelsteens wagecuck HR Person
>Parents are both high up in their company, when they wouldn't answer their phone for such a long time, Mr. Shekelsteen sent this asshole to check on them
>Tell him they went on vacation in Wagekuktopia
>He doesn't believe me, starts to get panicked because he smells "carrion"
>Runs up to my parents bed and finds them
>I get charged for murder even though I didn't do it
>Court case lasts 17 months, spend most of my time in lock up because I can't afford bail, not after they stopped giving me my NEETbux
>I am found not guilty, but they also find that I am "Mentally unfit"
>They give me triple the NEETbux parents used to give me
>I get to keep their house and eat tendies like a king for my entire life
