Slowly coming to the realisation that I'l never have a gf, I'll always have crippling anxiety and I'll never be socially adjusted. Feeling quite depressed desu.
Where do I go from here robots?
Be happy and celibate. If you never have sex you never have to worry about having kids, and if you never have a gf you never have to worry about getting cucked.
What are you doing now? Just continue with whatever that is, I guess. If you're already living your life with no gf, then it shouldn't really change anything now that there will never be gf.
The only exception is if you were doing something to get a girlfriend, you could probably stop. You could also kill yourself, but that's up to you.
>>28854925
>Be happy and celibate
There's no such thing. It's called coping
>>28854908
Same, my plan is suicide, no reasons to live seriously, just too much of a pussy to do it, thought of getting some heroin and ODing on it but i dont know anyone dealing.
>>28854938
I wasn't doing anything because I just can't. I get really anxious around most people so I just avoid social situations entirely. Also my flatmate called me weird and a lot of people have called me the same thing in the past. It's like I'm stuck in a loop. I'm just unattractive and antisocial and whatever I do I can't change those facts.
>>28854908
same here, I'm so fucking socially awkward, never really had friends. Communication with my parents and some relatives is the only way to keep sane, and not go schizo as cause of lack of communication
Hello r9k I was just wondering where do you meet online friends?
I have been lonely since my very close steam friend left. I don't go out because I have social anxiety and I have been living the neet life but I want someone to be with I just don't know where to look. Preferably someone that's into anime, video games and british sitcoms. We used to watch all of that together but now I don't have anyone to do that with. I'm just a lonely person looking for someone who is lonely too.
>>28854993
Whats your steam acc anon?
>>28854978
I know it's thrown around a lot, but looks really have little to do with getting a girlfriend. I see so many physically repulsive men with average girls and vice versa daily that it made me rethink a lot about my entire stance on physical appearance. This isn't to say that a 3/10 can get a 9/10, but a 3/10 can still get a 5/10.
If your anxiety is really that bad, you might want to buy into therapy/counseling, and if it isn't nearly that bad, you should do something that forces you to talk/interact with other people if only for mundane and ritual reasons, like a shitty retail job.
>>28854993
Just join a steamgroup from /v/ or /vg/
>>28854925
I want kids though. This depresses me the most about being forced alone, I'm almost 30 and my paternal nature had begin to surface, when I see kids I feel all warm and fuzzy inside, especially girls. They are love, they are life, they are the future.
It hurts that I'll never have a cute daughter to watch MLP with or son to play vidya with.
>>28854993
make your own thread you fuck
>>28855069
>If your anxiety is really that bad, you might want to buy into therapy/counseling
I see a counsellor every month or so for it but I always downplay my anxiety and situation.
>like a shitty retail job.
I'm going to get a job in retail this summer just to not sit at home all holiday
>>28854908
I have already been in that situation anon.
Once you go through that stage, you will feel relief. Just give up, enjoy your life, focus on things that you can reach. Unfortunately we are born to walk on the bottom level. And no girls are in that level.
>>28855095
Oh how i know that feel....
My crazy plan is moving to bangladesh or some shithole and move in one of those swamps and il instantly become the famous rich white guy, il get a wife and kids in a matter of days, unless im robbed and killed of course.
Sounds like a joke but im actually seriously thinking about it.
Is literally the only way for me to have a family
>>28855098
Fuck off you twat. I'm the OP and I don't have a problem with that post
>>28854946
As a man you can think rationally, and sometimes your feelings can be informed by logical though processes. Consider the following:
>I never want to have children
>I consider abortions and child abandonment unethical
>I refuse to have elective mutilation surgery for the sake of enjoying pussy
>all sex carries a risk of accidental pregnancy
>therefore the only foolproof and ethical way to ensure I never have children is to never have sex
........
>ejaculation always makes me feel weak and disgusted after
>I would never want to feel this way in the company of a woman
>I enjoy just cuddling with a woman, but that is considered gay/effeminate, women want to be fucked, natural consequences be damned, they can always murder the fetus or make you a child support debt slave
>therefore intimacy with women is not desired because if unrestricted it always leads to sex
.........
>monogamy is not natural and people are not property
>if you have a gf, both of you will feel physical and emotional attraction to other people, even if neither acts upon it
>you would wonder why would a woman be with you and only you when she can do whatever she wants with her body
>neither exclusively sovereign relationships, open relationships, being a cheater, or being a cuck actually work or are desireable
>therefore a gf is not a thing that actually exists that you can actually have, just a vaguely defined social construct you have built up in your fantasies, and the reality will disappoint you and make you anxious, feeling that being perpetually single is far more comfortable than 'dating' women
wew, bazinga, top kek LOL - I'm high on life and I need to go to sleep.
>>28855135
Well yeah Western women are cancer. I do get the impression there's better more traditional women in 2nd and 3rd world countries.
Sounds like a good plan anon.
I don't think I have the balls to do that. I live with my mum, I'm poor and the world scares me.
>>28855138
How come OP starts a thread, and then say Hello after a while. It doesn't work that way IRL.
>>28855095
>especially girls
Tell us more about that "paternal nature" anon
>>28855188
I didn't post that but I don't have a problem with it faggot
>>28855098
sorry I made a post by accident I made one now
>>28855125
You're paying to talk to them, so you should try to take advantage of your counselor. They can't help you if you're not honest about your problems. Maybe you could try and find a different counselor if you don't feel comfortable with the person now?
I don't think I had/have any anxiety problems, but around a year ago, I was around Tomoko's level where I could barely talk to people I wasn't comfortable with, and was in general, extremely meek. I got a customer service job, and I'm a little better at talking to people. I don't get as scared, and I can make pretty good small talk now. It might help you, or it might make you want to kill yourself more. I don't know.
>>28855197
I know your problem OP, you already mentioned it. But srsly 90% of r9k has this one same ploblem including me.
>>28855161
>therefore intimacy with women is not desired because if unrestricted it always leads to sex
wtf are you talking about sex is great. Fuck a hooker and tell me you didn't enjoy it faggot. I dare you.
>>28855175
If you have miniumum wage in US for a month salary you can live like a king for a year there.
Women are actually more natural and good looking like the plastic faces you see in the west everyday, also they are not vapid sluts thinking only about the same decadent shit the TV teached them here.
I think the 21st century dehumanized us to a point of no return, there people are much better even if they live in filth and we laugh at them for it.
Happiness is relative meaning that some poor kid will have the same satisfaction that a rich one buying a new ferrari, im sure i can be happy there with less comfort but more humanity honestly.
Also watch some yt vids about it like this one for instance, see how happy they seem with the little they have
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OoRDjWG8CQ
>>28855229
>You're paying to talk to them
No. Mental health services are free here
>>28855095
>>28855135
Welp you're beyond help if you actually want kids and will never let go of the fantasy of fatherhood. Not wanting kids is a central tenet of how I justify being celibate. Today I had an even further realization- that I should not lament that I am unable to have access to utterly beautiful women that take my breath away and make my heart skip a beat, because if I did, I would want to fuck them right in the pussy with no condom and then have kids.
Tbh I sometimes think about the previous scenerio, and how good it would feel to have someone tell me "anon, I'm pregnant" and my reaction being "YESSS!" and how having a baby with her would bring us closer together.
But then I remember that raising kids is a lot of hard work, money and responsibility I do not want in my life. Not to mention contemplating the ethics of creating new human life, forcing another person into existence like my parents did to me.
Go talk to people who have kids, offer to babysit and sleep over. Even modern psychological studies show people who are childfree are happier than those who succumb to their imperative to procreate.
I probably contradicted myself between the last post, which is a reflection of life: Body desiring sex but not actually wanting it, never wanting kids but loving the idea of impregnating someone
>>28855264
Well regardless, you're still expending time and energy into meeting with them. You might as well try and get the most out of what you can.
>>28855193
I admit, I confused my feelings of parenthood with feelings of sexuality. It took along time to realise that I didnt want a loli gf, I needed a daughter or son, but would prefer a girl.
I feel its OK to have a preference though, I am.sure many parents felt the same.
>>28855234
>risk of unwanted pregnancy and STDs
>post-ejaculatory slump/feeling of disgust after a few minutes of "afterglow"
Nah. Life is just so much simple and carefree when the end-all-be-all of intimacy is just cuddling groping and caressing.
I accept that its not realistic though because women only want to cuddle their gay friends or guys they actually fuck, and most women's self esteem with regard to their relationships seems to depend on making their bf cum.
>>28855095
Why would you bring kids into a life that you know can be incredibly shit for reasons you can't control? Sounds selfish and incredibly stupid coming from someone with a life as disappointing as yours
>>28855266
Yes, because many people are willing to let the creepy 30 year old loser hang around with their kids.
Good one!
>>28855161
mental illness the post
>>28855341
My life might be disappointing and might be disappointing for her but the hope is that I can raise this new life to be a better person than I was, to be a better person and be somebody, to grow up and do some goodness and make the world a better place.
If I can install my knowledge into this new life and he or she becomes a better person than I, then Ive made the world a better place, then I can find peace and my redemption.
I cured my anxiety disorder by getting a gym membership, reading more, studying more and putting in the effort to become a better man. Not for girls, not for anybody else but me.
Become superior, leave humanity behind.
>>28854908
get busy
it does wonders
>>28855412
Such as? I'm a full time student so I'm not exactly a NEET
>>28855389
Yeah but there's always the possibility that you might fail. And if you acknowledge that that possibility does exist (face it, you have to) and you still choose to try and have kids then you are being selfish and irresponsible.
>>28855389
>>28855345
point is you are naive and looking through rose colored lenses at what it would be like to have kids, imagining fucking your wife bareback, laughing and playing with the family, and your sons being happy and successful. The reality being a drain on your finances, health and personal freedom only for your kids to had you for being a beta loser and end up even worse off than you are now.
>>28855360
butt assburgers is a difference not a disease
>>28855435
*to hate you. Anyone else though about stabbing your parents while they slept when you were 8 years old? I had, I think one time I even walked in there with a kitchen knife, but chickened out. And it would be scary that if I had kids they might try to kill me for something like not letting them eat candy or watch late night TV
>>28855435
You talk about personal freedom as if it's a big deal, I spent all day on this website, I can sacrifice my personal freedom for angels in my life.
>>28855429
I might fail, but so might all parents.
you fuckers are never going to make it if you keep this defeatist pessimistic pathetic mindset
>inb4 G E N E T I C A L L Y
make the most of your shitty genetics, be the best version of yourself
>>28855427
>student
nevermind, wait a few years, but find hobbies and a job asap when you're done with school
>>28855492
Well lots of them frequently do. Essentially you're putting your own happiness above the potentially miserable life you might create. You're a fucking cunt.
>>28855495
>make the most of your shitty genetics, be the best version of yourself
My best version is still a 2/10 deformed autist. Fuck off with this self help shit
>>28855525
I'm at uni though so I'm not a school kid
>>28855529
Only if you let the 2/10 self-pitying shit define who and what you are.
Only you have power over yourself.
>>28855484
I can already tell you will be terrible at parenting and regret it. Kids are annoying as fuck. Shitposting on 4chan all day ain't the same as being woken up every 2 minutes to baby crying, changing diapers all day. When they are preteens you would proably just let them play video games all day so you won't have to drive them places or entertain them'deal with them annoying you out of boredom.
>>28855526
Exactly what would you define as good reasons for having kids anon?
>>28855529
no it's not your just using that as an excuse you lazy ass pathetic weak willed phaggot
>>28855557
I think we have different ideas on parenting it seems.
>>28855564
Don't think there are any good reasons. But normal people are usually oblivious to how shit life can get so they have an excuse; they're ignorant of how shit their kids could turn out. If you're spending all your time on r9k and actually empathise with the cancerous shit being posted here, and you still decide to have kids then you're dumb.
>>28855564
not him, but
>furthering your genes
>the satisfaction of bringing up a new, strong, smart human being to take your place into the world in their own way
>counteracting the demographic crysis
basically the good of the society I live in. Every choice one makes is political.
>>28855598
Well I gave 3 of those reasons lol.
>>28855595
most people here just have confidence issues you fucking twat
>>28855592
yes and yours are delusionally optimistic
>muh genetic legacy
>muh purfect angels
>muh saving the white race
>>28855234
>I did not enjoy it.
I don't know man. You literally feel like the definition of sleez right after it, and for the next couple days. Getting into a relationship is great though, strongly recommended, just don't get too worked up about getting rejected, and remember that the idea of "Dating" is a trail process. You don't have to marry the first girl you go on a date with, it is not a huge deal. Think of it like a job interview
>Unless Job interviews scare you, then think of it like trying to buy a good video game.
It is not a huge deal man, the absolute worst that could happen is you go on a date, and you get the cold shoulder.
>>28855595
>>28855617
>saving the white race
Eh?
>>28855617
being optimistic is very different to being delusional, any intelligent level headed person will tell you this
>>28855612
If you're posting like a faggot on r9k, it goes further than just confidence issues.
>>28855639
.. nope absolutely everything stems from lack of confidence/social anxiety
i used to be extroverted believe it or not (open debating at school etc normie friends) then my parents moved me to a dogshit school where i befriended shit people who i grew to dislike, now i'm 18 social anxiety etc whatever you want to call it
Same thing happened to me half a year ago, the realization that I will never live a normal life. If you want to feel even the tiniest bit of happiness, you have to focus on things that are achievable to you, even if your first instinct is to say "well shit this isn't something to brag about". My cats are a source of joy for me. My life may be a mess, but my cats have a great life and I take good care of them. Seeing them happy and healthy makes me happy. If you have social anxiety and don't function well around people, then the absolute worst thing you can do is to is trying to make people a source of happiness for you. Sorry mate, you'll only be disappointed and depressed if you try. Now I'm not saying that you should go full hermit and avoid people, but make sure that you don't put much value into social success. If you manage to get a friend or a gf then that's a nice bonus though. A guy who posted here said that he got a sense of achievement and accomplishment by scanning and translation doujinshi, and an internet friend of mine gets joy from writing homoerotic fanfics. Ask yourself what can be a reasonable source of joy for you. Nothing is too stupid, if it makes you happy then it's valid.
Part of growing up is not only realizing who you are, but also who you aren't. I always hoped that I was a late bloomer and that I one day would be extroverted, funny and successful. I know now that it will never happen, and that realization caused me grief, but it also made me feel a sense of peace. Maybe it's time for you to clean out your "fantasy self" http://www.missminimalist.com/2011/08/declutter-your-fantasy-self/. Self improvement is great and you should pursue it, but there's no point in aiming for the impossible, and especially not for thing you don't actually want.
Good luck friend.
>>28855672
yeah but that lack of confidence can become so crippling the majority of your life turns to shit. I think the OP said he's 30 or something (I could be wrong maybe I'm getting confused). But if you're 30, and have had confidence issues your whole life to the point that it's been shit and unfulfilling, then it becomes more than just that. You're practically socially inept, probably develop genuine mental health issues as well. And him having kids could fuck his and their lives up, which is stupid.
>>28855720
yeah i agree, you can't let this shit wait your condition just gets worse with time
>>28855540
you are a kid, have a taste of real adult life before saying you're screwed, you have no idea how the next decade of your life will change perceptions, yours as much as other people's
growing up doesn't stop at 20, and you have to continue growing up as much as you can, i would advise self improvement and shit but fuck that i prefer simple advices : get busy, job/hobbies/projects or whatever
>>28854908
This is where you descend into numbness and settle into a repetitive routine that you'll do until you die
>>28855871
so should i just accept defeat and take up smoking/drinking and play video games living off neetbux for the rest of my dogshit life?
