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Anonymous
Hope Thread
2016-05-27 02:37:11 Post No. 28849567
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Hope Thread
Anonymous
2016-05-27 02:37:11
Post No. 28849567
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Evening, robots.
25yr old here, been here since 2009. h/k less virgin all my life until recently. Not gonna lie, things don't magically get perfect after, you stop being those - but I'm drunk & happy so I wanted to tell you it is actually better. These feels are real. You've been with me when no one else was, so it seems right to return the favor.
Long story short, I was a highly-devout fat weirdo my whole life with a misanthropic streak. Suicide attempts in middle school. No friends. Vidya & books & nothing else.
But in spite of it I stayed the course. Even when my brother, the only one who understood me, was killed. I kept living. Not sure why. Had read Camus and the myth of sisyphus. That prob. helped.
High school was the worst time of my life. college wasn't better. Went all in on a grad degree to try to save myself one last time. Got away from family. Moved to the city. Got chewed up and spit out by university, but I made real friends for the first time. Lost 70 pounds. Stopped drinking myself to a coward's grave.
Met the first girl I ever developed real feels for who reciprocated. Fucked it up in a month & she dumped me. My friends stopped me from walking into traffic.I kept fighting. Fuck the world - if it wants you to give up then that's enough reason to keep living.
And now, a few months later I reconnected with someone I met when I was still with my (toxic) recent ex. She flirted. I pursued. She's gorgeous, well-read but not an academic, and so very warm. And somehow she's crazy about me.
Now I'm with her - the first person other than my parents I feel safe with. She's the port in my storm. Since we've been seeing each other I finished a novel, dug myself out of debt, and finished school. When I see my reflection in her eyes I see a version of myself that I can respect.
Stay strong. Please know there's hope for people like us. I want nothing more than for you to feel the way I do.someday.
Might greentext tomorrow.
Night robots,
Anon