Hey fellow robots, I am about to enter my first year of Uni and I have never ever had sex.
My parents are from India and I was born in Bangalore but my parents immigrated to UK for better life.
>inb4pooinloo.asf
Right, well here is my plan to get laid in Uni this year, I have just turned 18 and I will be able to purchase cigarettes from the off license near my house. I always see the hot white girls in high school smoking so I figured if I can be known as the guy around campus who always has cigarettes I have a better chance of landing me a hot young doolah.
Here is my plan.
>use my savings to buy many bulk packs of pall mall brand cigarettes.
>carry cigarettes with me at all time on campus, throw them out of my jacket at the girls whenever I see one I like.
>always offer the white girls cigarettes, this will make me look like a cool guy who has his shit together
>take up smoking and start dressing in more dark leather, will land many doolahs this way.
What does R9K think of my plan?
Should I upgrade to Gin if the cigarettes do not work?
I graciously wait your reply.
>>28842878
POO IN UNILOO
Flawless logic. You are the ubermensch the legends foretold.
>>28842918
What is Ubermench?
>>28842878
Over here most campuses have a no smoking rule. If it's the same in the UK then your plan will fail.
>>28842966
No i see the white girls smoking alot, they are hot mama.
>>28842998
throwing cigarettes at girls won't get you laid. try throwing money at them.
>>28843033
I need money to get cigarettes so i can get london tramp to have sex with me. Do you not know the maths?
>>28843057
sell the cigarettes to get the money
>>28842878
This is a horrible idea.
1. You underestimate the ability of people to see right through you. Somebody is going to snapchat a picture of you with the caption, "creepy guy offers every hot girl cigs hoping to get a date, how pathetic!"
2. Smoking does not make you cool, especially if you didn't smoke beforehand. Also, just because you smoke doesn't mean a girl is automatically going to want to have sex with you.
You need to work on your body and personality first. It helps to smile at attractive girls innocently; if you show a lot of girls a casual level of interest then one is eventually going to smile back and then it's go time.
>>28842878
I've got the same idea, soon I'll try it too.
>>28842878
>28842878
This is me comment original please
>>28842878
kek.
yeah, great plan, go for it
>>28843135
>Also, just because you smoke doesn't mean a girl is automatically going to want to have sex with you.
Holy fuck even I was never autistic enough to think that
>>28842878
LUNG CANCER
I mean there iws a chance that you actally get addict and cuck yourself over at a young age
i'm 18 and going to college too
my plan is to make my shitty game a reality and get off from there
>>28843158
You don't look bad to be honest
>>28843201
No no India has cure for lung cancer my father told me to drink hot water with turmeric powder it is utimate antioxidant.
>>28843158
You'd look pretty good if you got rid of that awful stache, the beard can stay though
>>28842878
That way you can be known as Malboro Majhid. I like your plan anon.
>>28843158
you need 5 years before you look good, because you look like 10 right now
>>28843218
Thank you, are you white girl?
>>28843135
Exactly. Also, with smoking gradually falling out of fashion, the least-negative reaction you're likely to get from girls is them asking if you even vape.
Learning how to play the social card is clearly the tact to take here, OP. good luck
>>28843266
No, I am a white heterosexual dude, rating your looks from the point of view of a white, heterosexual dude
>>28843232
That is your opinion, many people of my culture find mustache flattering especially because i may want to become Doctor.
>>28843288
Kindly redirect your comment, i will have white girl with chigarette.
>>28843266
>are you white girl?
You disgrace yourself by talking like this. Jesus Fucking Christ you sound so desperate.
>>28842878
This took me weeks to think of I do not have much money, I only have enough for cigarretes and maybe lunch, but i skip lunch because my mother can make rice and chik peas for me. I have a good plan people Indians always cucceed because we are smart and have a very rich and historied culture.
>>28843363
He's being ironic I think
>>28843363
Does not hurt to ask, many have fallen in love this way. why you do not think?
>>28843158
Ill be honest with that face
You don't need cigarettes
you have a very approachable face
a little punch-able but still approachable
someone I'd expect to be a decent person.
>>28842878
Who would not like me?
>>28843516
I am not very tall, my trouble is I do not weigh much and I can not be taller unless i puff chest even so I do not reach height most white girls so all i have is cigarettes for bargain chip.
Gracious thank you for thinking i am hansome bibi, are you in leeds?
>pall mall
If you're gonna give yourself and other people cancer, at least give them cancer that's cool and not just used by old ass men and my mother in law
This post reminds me of doublemint dave
>>28843577
>28843577
Dave? who?
>>28843577
This is just rewritten copypasta.
>>28843158
you look like a gigantic faggot
no girl will ever sleep with you
>>28842878
>28842878
More of me, this is my brother Sina, he races street car in michigan USA
>>28842878
Me and Brother Mohinder, we race in Michigan USA last month
>>28843660
Sina is american name Mohinder not attractive name use american name Sina.
>>28843946
Send me picture, do you whatsapp?
>>28842878
>pooinloo
>cool
Indians are the ugliest race of men. You'll be lucky to get an arranged marriage
>>28844286
White man is ugly white woman is your only saving grace you butter monkey,
>>28843158
>cut your fucking hair, current hair makes you look way younger and its just bad. go with any classic cut. you have a face where you could even pull off a buzz cut.
>find a hobby (music or painting or really anything that you like)
>>/fa/
don't look at anything more than the sticky, most people on that board are really horrible dressers, but the sticky has solid advice. start with the bare minimalist basics.
>black/dark wash jeans, white tee shirts, black tee shirts, leather jacket, some nice shoes that aren't basic sneakers. some button ups too, keep it simple.
start with those as a foundation. slowly start looking for inspo and styles that you really like, very slowly add clothes that you think mesh well with your style and the clothes you already have (which is why you start with the basic of basics, you can add anything to that group and you'll be fine.)
if you do want sneakers cop some Stan Smiths. They're called a meme shoe but they really do look good. some dope sunglasses and nice cologne.
dont get sucked into hype-beast bullshit
>>/fit/
regular exercise is good for your brain, your mood, and your body. it also ups testosterone in men, giving you a high base level of energy and more motivation/confidence. also i see you have a nice jawline, you'll have GOAT facial aesthetics if you got yolked
>work on social skills.
its pretty fuckin gay but if you're starting at really low level social skill (that cigarette plan implies you have none), read all the basic shit over at /r/seduction. its not all PUA bullshit most of it is about improving confidence and outlook, which applies to more than women.
Lastly, Pall Malls are fucking gross. Most girls smoke light blue or yellow american spirits if anything at all. Also, barely ever smoke anyways. Being a regular smoker aint that cool lookin. Have one at a party every once in a while, its nice at taking any edge off.
Come on guys, this is a repost of that gum post, but with cigarettes instead of gum
>>28843119
but i need cigarettes to throw at tramps
How tall are you?
If you're tall then when you offer a girl a cig hold it above her head and make her jump, tease her mate trust me :^)
>>28844716
>autism
originalaroo comment thanks
Smoking will make your dick smaller. I regained an inch after I stopped.
