What do?original
Leave them alone or theyll bite you it hurts
leave them alone mate
On the way back too. Fucking roadhogs.
>>28837963
>>28838253
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wodhvo9P4Y4
>>28837963
Do this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spH4iPF8l0g
FUCK THESE STUPID FUCKING BIRDS
>bus to university
>geese are always waiting around the bus stop near my house
>they always fucking chase me around and I have to run home
>sometimes they catch up and nip my ankles
>I can almost hear them laughing
Anyone else get bullied by animals on the daily? Is there a legal way to kill them? Sometimes I don't go to class because I'm afraid.
kick them
>>28838372
you've ascended to a new level of beta that has never been deemed possible
Alright, I'm now off the bike trail. No more faggot geese to be found.
>>28838518
Have you ever been around geese? They're terrifying. I want to go up and punch one but then the others will gang up on me and they won't play fair.
What would an alpha do?
>>28838880
run at them
>>28838907
They don't run away though they just charge back at me. I'm not even a manlet why aren't they afraid of a superior human?
Pic related is what they'd do to me if I tried anything
Just give them food and they'll fuck off. I always carry chips with me so I feed them. If they still don't leave, charge at them.
I used to masturbate onto ducks at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me.
first, you need to find an isolated area so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread.
My ducks preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit.
Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your johnson out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgment based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet.
You wait for the birds to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird.
This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences.
I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city. Either way I haven't done it in years but still catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds, cock throbbing and waiting for them to land close to me.
>>28839623
I enjoyed your story anon
OC comment
>>28838880
>What would an alpha do?
They wouldn't attack an alpha male.
