>person asks me if i'm ok
>say i am
>i'm not
who /devilish/
>>28831855
>Anon are you okay, you look really sad about something
>"Oh-uh sorry just tired haha"
>I've said this so many times they just assume i'm tired all time
>hey anon come hang out with us
>I-I can't I have something for work
>never have something for work and just stay indoors doing nothing
Ha joke's on them
>person asks me if I'm ok
>I know they don't actually care, they're just doing the usual normalcy security check that they've had embedded in their psyche from years upon years of social conditioning
>bust up into tears and wail loudly (I can't help it, if someone accuses me of being sad I instantly start thinking sad thoughts and then making myself sad, and as an honest person I cannot hold myself back)
>say "no, no I'm not okay, I never have been okay and you just reminded me of this fact" over and over again
>their inexplicable, malfunctioning face when they thought I would play along, but instead chose to defy the unspoken laws of pretense
>they are left speechless
/d e v i l i s h/
>are you ok?
>yeah
>you sure? you look like you had a rough day
>no i'm fine
little do they knowi'm actually not fine and they have been rused once again
>>28831855
i'm fucking tired of being a slave to my own emotions
>>28831971
It's almost like they fall for it every time.
Chumps.
>anon, you should ask that grill out she's a qt
>i already did, and shes not interested
>never did ask her out
>brother asks me if I can put his clothes in the dryer for him
>put it in the dryer and don't turn it on
>>28832249
That's definitely on him
He should've been more specific
>make a /devilish/ post
>delete it immediately when someone replies to it
>waitress asks me if everything is fine with my meal
>Say yes
>it's not, she gave me the wrong order
>still tip her 25%
>do something devilish
>I'm not actually devilish, I'm a nice person on the inside
>they'll never know
/devilish/
>get a haircut
>"so how does it look?"
>"ha, it's great, thanks!"
>it actually looks terrible
>still pay and give her a $5 tip
>"thanks, have a great day!"
>"y-you too"
>>28832350
happened too many times
>>28831855
>pour milk into bowl before cereal
>realize my mistake infront of the entire class
>maintain eye contact with assessor to make it look like it was intentional
>pour cereal on top of milk
>get spoon, dont stir, have mouth full of dry cereal
>get 100%
haha, fellow devils, trust me, it pays off...
>>28831855
>implying people ask me if im okay
>>28832319
>didn't clap for her
YOU
ABSOLUTE
MADMAN
>>28832350
>tfw it grows out and you actually like it now that it's longer
>tfw feel bad about not liking it before and doubting the stylist's abilities
happens every time
>"have a nice day"
>don't
T R I C K S Y
>>28831901
What is this a Facebook post from 2009? tumblr?
You're gay as fuck anon. And I literally sucked dick & ate cum last night.
>brother asks me why I'm laughing
>say it's for no reason
>I'm laughing at his face because he's a blue pilled cuck raising another man's son.
Truly a pathetic specimen.
>someone from high school notices me
>asks me what school I go to
>make up a name for a school and say I go to it
>don't really go to school at all
>they are none the wiser
>bum raped
>tell lie
>no cry
>girl says she's in love with me
>tell her I lover her to and leave
>never talk to her again and genuinely avoid her out of pure enjoyment
>dog barks at me
>brother asks me what I did to it
>say i didn't do nothing
if only he knew
>customer comes to the checkout
>hands me the money
>don't return the favor and throw change on the counter
>Tells me have a nice day
>don't say anything
>person asks me if I'm okay
>say no
>he/she walks away
>>28832700
>"friend" asks if I'm okay
>say no
>they don't care because they only like me when I'm being funny
>cat hates being picked up
>pick her up anyway
>over time she learned to tolerate and sometimes even enjoy it
>new years cop is driving by and says to be careful and go back home because there's someone shooting a shotgun around the neighborhood
>thank the officer and say we'll be heading home
>it was me shooting some cans 10 minutes ago
>>28832739
>pick cat up and sit down on couch with him
>he gets antsy and tries to get away because he doesn't want to be held
>let go of him
>he just curls up in my lap and sleeps there for 3 hours
My cat is DEVLISH incarnate. When he was younger he figured out how to shut my PC off if he thought I wasn't paying enough attention to him.
>nice old lady is ordering food for her grandson
>orders mcdollar burgers and fries
>friend tells me to spit on the food
>laugh like an idiot and say I will
>I didn't, and reported him to my manager
>have what looks like a melanoma on toe
>don't see doctor
> Family brings home leftovers
> Eat them
Just a lil impish
>>28832869
I swear, I've had all sorts of conditions over the years I should have gone to a doctor for, and I just never did
>for three months my left wrist was so sore and weak I couldn't even hold anything
>never went to doctor
>it cleared up on its own
Same for that time I had an extra hole halfway up my asscrack.
> Go to bathroom
> Out of toilet paper
> Replace the roll
> Have it face the wall
>>28832903
>for three months my left wrist was so sore and weak I couldn't even hold anything
This is literally happening to me right now
I think it's because of how I position my hands when I type, because for some reason it's only the left
Hope it turns out as well for me as it did you
>Fat women talking and blocking the way
>Walk by and crop dust>Don't say excuse me
>>28832940
I figured I was sleeping on my wrist wrong or something, but for weeks it would get worse every day. Thankfully it's basically gone now. I just hate seeing doctors.
>>28832903
> Get a scrape on my knee
> Gets infected
> Don't see a doctor
> Becomes an abscess
> Hurt so bad I couldn't walk right
> Doctor gives me antibiotics and tells me not to pop it and make it worse
> Do it anyways
>>28832987
Never had anything that bad, thankfully. Unless you count the asscrack thing as worse. I know I ruined a lot of boxers because it would bleed constantly.
> Live in dorm
> Public showers
> Drains get clogged up with cum
> Signs put on door telling us not to fap in showers
> Fap every time anyways
> Ride in the carpool lane
> By myself
Simply ghoulish
>bite dog on the head too hard
>it yelps
>mom asks what i did
>"it just stepped under my foot"
>bite it on the head again
>website tells me to turn off adblocker to support the site
>keep it on
>they wish me a nice day
>only tell them to have a nice afternoon in return
>>28833108
>website has a popup intended to force you to shut adblock off
>use adblock to block the popup
>Don't take shoes off when I enter a house
Undeniably rascal
>turn from the inside lane to the outside lane if there is more than one turn lane
>>28833149
you look more guilty than devilish, my friend
perhaps you have seen the light?
>here you go, enjoy the movie
>thanks, you too
>she's actually an employee and won't be seeing the same movie as me
Absolutely filthy
>>28832764
>years ago, at a LAN at friends place
>ethernet cable has to be stretched across the room to reach modem
>sits about shin height across the room
>shit cable with broken clip at one end
>friends cat comes in, stops before reaching cable
>points it's tail up in the air, walks under the cable and hooks it with tail
>pulls cable out, booting me of Internet
>puts tail back down as soon as he got past the cable
>replug cable
>he does it again.
Fucking cats. They are the most devilish creatures.
>play futurefunk for new employees I train
>tell them the genre is vaporwave if they like it
>drunk, high, or lazy at work every day
>coworkers confront me about it
>act extremely tough
>being 6'6" they fuck off usually
Fucking dicks.
>>28833183
My cat figured out so many ways to harass me when he was younger. He's 16 now so he just sleeps a lot, but he used to be such an attention whore. Sitting in front of my monitor, shutting consoles off, stuff like that.
>teacher asks for MLA citations
>use Chicago
nobody has ever penalized me either
>>28832270
I bet that you won't
>don't post a pepe in deveilish thread
>>28833149
>post rare pepe
>don't delete it
>>28832903
>leaving an anal fistula
mate if that gets infected the resulting surgery will leave you incontinent for life
>post a /devilish/ greentext
>it didn't actually happen
I have transcended heaven and hell
>>28833250
Good. I'm looking for a reason to kill myself anyway.It was ten years ago so I'm not too worried.
>wake up late two days in a row
>pull sickie each time
>boss is sympathetic since i'm useful at work
another 2 days of freedom
>Sign says 'no loitering'
>Throw a piece of trash on the ground
Every day my mischief grows more devilish
>person asks me if I'm ok
>tell them I'm not while trying to portray myself as not okay
>they don't believe me
>I was actually ok all along
>go for a shit
>take laptop
>skype people whilst pinching a loaf
>turdbomb causes colossal splash
>"what was that anon?"
>tell them its the TV
>they believe me
ha they heard me take a dump
Just want someone to see through it and know how much it hurts. SOMEONE.
>>28833297
>being ok
Fuck of normalfag.
>>28833108
>click on the same adsense ad 500 times
>report website to google for asking users to click their ads
>go back next week, no more ads
>>28832849
devilish twist amigo
>doctor tells me to reduce my fat intake and eat healthier
>promise him I will
>mfw I went to wendy's beforehand and have 2 baconators waiting for me in the car
>eat them right there in the parking lot
he never saw it coming
>go to psychiatrist
>treat him like a psychologist and tell him of all the things wrong in my life
Get fucked
>psychiatrist says everything is confidential unless i plan to kill myself
>i don't tell her i plan to kill myself
/scandalous/
>>28832903
>i dont understand the point of these threads
>here is my blog post
Kill yourself trash
