Shit only you think you do thread
>Eat my own cum when I'm too lazy to toss it after jerking off
>Eat the psoriasis scabs off the edges of my nose
>fap to hairy asian grannies
>collect nail clippings in an old paperclip box (i reallly really enjoy putting them under my foreskin to jerk off then put them back; rinse and repeat)
I'm honestly a normal guy too. I get plenty of pussy and have a really diverse group of friends. Everyone's a little off right?
>cum 10 times in a night to lists of biggest metropolitan areas in the us after snorting 4 adderall pills
I wait outside mygf's family's house for hours afterwork until she either comes outside or answers me. I am doing it now, I browse 4chan while I wait.
>>28831532
i'm always too lazy to clean up my jizz, so eating it has become routine
I lubricate my anus before pooping. I've had an anal fissure for like a decade from bad constipation, hence how it started. Even when it's mostly healed and I'm pooing okay, I use vaseline to coat the area. I buy disposable medical gloves to apply the vaseline.
Now, I can't stand pooping without putting vaseline on my asshole. Why? Because when you wipe it off, EVERYTHING just comes off totally clean. Effortless, all the mess contained. I think wash my asshole, even though it's not even really necessary. I have the cleanest asshole of anyone on this fucking planet.
Shitting for me is an entire process that takes literally a minimum of 30 minutes. I've read literally hundreds of thousands of pages while on the toilet. Some of the most intellectually stimulating moments of my life have occurred while reading philosophy on the bowl.
I wish I was joking, but I am being completely serious.
>>28831532
>I'm honestly a normal guy too.
Just because you're a normy doesn't mean you're normal.
>>28832077
>I then wash my asshole*
Is what I meant to say. I use wet papertowels and carefully clean the area, then dry it.
To be clear, I sit on the toilet so long because it takes me so long to have a full bowel movement, regardless of what I do. Yes, I've been to a bunch of doctors.
It sounds silly, but having to poop for such a long time everyday has made it almost impossible to live a normal life. Thankfully, it has become an enriching activity all in and of itself, despite all of its awful problems.
