>tfw even drugs don't help you stave off the loneliness anymore
tfw nothing helps you stave off the loneliness anymore
late at night is the worse, trying to get to sleep with all the worries and troubles plaguing me.
>tfw drugs help you stave off the loneliness way too much, but they also dig the rabbit hole a little deeper every time
I want off this ride
Everything is bad for you.
Everything. It doesn't matter if it feels good or bad. It's all actually bad.
Me but with booze. I miss feeling good.
>>28831793
I embrace my desire to, I embrace my desire to
feel the rhythm, to feel connected
enough to step aside and weep like a widow
to feel inspired, to fathom the power,
to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain,
to swing on the spiral, to swing on the spiral,
to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human.
With my feet upon the ground I lose myself
between the sounds and open wide to suck it in.
I feel it move across my skin.
I'm reaching up and reaching out.
I'm reaching for the random or whatever will bewilder me.
Whatever will bewilder me.
And following our will and wind we may just go where no one's been.
We'll ride the spiral to the end and may just go where no one's been.
Spiral out. Keep going...
Lonely and slowly getting worse and worse. I'm not a NEET yet, but if work doesn't improve soon, I dunno how much longer I can wageslave without losing it. I can't go outside, or ride in a car or bus without flipping out. I can't even jerk it anymore because my pills kill my libido and when I cum, my anxiety gets a lot worse. All I have interest in anymore is eating and shitposting.
>that feel when you wake up and realize that today is as long as yesterday
>the days never stop
>everything just gets progressively worse
>tfw I don't know that feel
On a LSD trip I had I must kinda accepted that I'll be depressed for much of it, but that by living through that I can experience the good parts of life
Cleaning my room made me forget. I fell into the weed trap again so I'm fucking this up again, but the sadness and loneliness goes away somewhat if you make yourself do chores or work on something with results, but it's hard to do with this artificial pleasure
>>28831893
You posted these Tool lyrics just the other day, fag.
I lurk far too much..
>>28831823
Same, I just want to end it. Only time I'm happy is after a few too many and even then I realize it's a false happiness.
yeah OP but have you tried a lot of benadryl and booze.I'm never lonely with my imaginary grandpa
Ever tried krokodil. That stuff staves off god itself
my friend called me a week and a half ago when i was having a mental breakdown and i told him everything and that i was planning to kill myself, and he hasn't contacted me since
I cringe every time here tries to be a normie. I don't know, maybe that's the people that are attracted here now. Maybe I'm getting old, but still doesn't change the fact that I gag any time I read "drugs" and "sex", "bitches" or whatever else anyone here types to try to look cool to a bunch of other socially inept rejects and loners.
Just remember where you're at before posting
>>28831793
this is interesting. everything we do ends with death. i wonder if this is what heidegger means with his thought if 'being toward death', the thought of realizing that death is the ultimate possibility.
>can't go to sleep
>every night I wish I don't wake up
>when I do I just lay there for a hour or so
>too afraid to take on drinking or smoking because I might end up a bigger waste of space like some of my family
>can barely fake my way throught a day any more
Why did god leave me unfinished?
what kind of anxiety meds will either make me sleep all day, or make me so doped up I won't realize anything that's happening ?
Feel like I'm pulled over on the shoulder of the highway in life, and everyone is going past me. I've stagnated.
Have no friends to buy dope from.
Why did I even end up here?
I miss my car.
I hate myself.
