>be me, badass sociopathic loner
>decide to go out and earn some money
>go to McDonald's to pilfer crushed cans from their garbage
>there aren't any
>the manager comes out and asks me what I'm doing
>give him a long "corporate-speak" spiel that I memorized from job interview prep videos on youtube
>he seems really put off by my behavior, but gives me a job
>okay, this isn't how it happened in the movie
>the next day, start working cash register
>want to rob it, but I can't because they have all my information on the application
>decide to up the ante a little
>go to manager's office and give him another speech about how I should be the manager
>he just kind of shrugs and gives me his keys before walking out of the door
>fuck
>grab a crate of frozen beef patties and leave
Anybody else have any tips on how an ambitious guy like me can excel in our modern world?
>top kek
actually gave me a chuckle, a brief 5 seconds away from thinking about killing myself.
>>28803426
So you're the manager now?
guess you've seen office space and ted also
first of all, that movie was based.
Secondly, you seem to be doing good OP. Since your plan became disrupted at square 1, you should keep working to become a manager. Once done, find a young, uninspired worker, and then do the whole thing that he did in the movie, save killing him. We don't want any murderers over here, just scheming fellows.
>>28803926
This, except you need to kill the manager with a deep fryer.
kkakma
>>28803426
>>go to manager's office and give him another speech about how I should be the manager
>>he just kind of shrugs and gives me his keys before walking out of the door
>>fuck
>>grab a crate of frozen beef patties and leave
This got me.
This fucking thread haha
for once a good thread on this shithole
there needs to be more greentext and less whining desu (yes i know im whining in this post)
>>28803455
No. Immediately afterwards I drove to Burger King and tried to offload the patties on them.
I was forced to accept well below market value for the beef in order to establish a business relationship, and then I started angling for a job there, but once again the manager was very enthusiastic about hiring me.
I'm just not sure I'm cut out for this lifestyle.
>>28803426
This is some real cringe shiiiiiiit mann
Weird parallel to the movie, but I did the same kind of speech to a news team that was doing a piece on my campus about some holocaust survivor. They had me doing shit work at first for free but eventually hired me officially as a van driver when I was definitely not qualified but acted like I was.
Now I work around the station under a job of tech support even though I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, I just make myself look useful. Even dating the weather woman who came onto me since I always was about and tried to be upbeat and friendly and helpful. Compliments too, again just pretending to be useful. I've even sort of got her fooled that I'm not a total fucking loser.
So weird and fucked up, but the movie oddly changed my life.
>>28805779
Can we cut all this role playing faggotrt??
i have a framed poster of this movie on my wall. along with moon and black swan.
You forgot to kill the manager and take his watch. Fuck op did you even watch the movie?
>>28803926
>>28805779
>>28805961
>>28805966
What movie? originalio commento
>>28806023
Nightcrawler
https://youtu.be/WwdoulT7yF4
>>28805779
I'm sure you're real proud of yourself, but no one cares about your job.
>>28805961
have you seen any movies from before 2010?
>>28806067
about to watch it, thanks familia
>>28806107
It's been described as very similar to Drive in terms of tone and atmosphere and stuff. One scene even takes place in the same diner that Irene worked at.
>>28806067
>Where a private plane crashed with no survivors
Was this a nod to the dark knight rises plane crash scene?
>>28805605
Perhaps you can work your way up the fast food chain? After this wendys, then chipolte and so forth.
>>28806185
>just for you
Am I doing it right?
>>28806380
No
original tbqh famalam
>>28803426
Apply for a banking position.
>>28803426
>Anybody else have any tips on how an ambitious guy like me can excel in our modern world?
Get the fuck off of /r9k/ and 4chan for that matter.
Does Gyllenhaal have some crazy bug eyes or is it just the screenshot?
>working at a restaurant
>busy night
>taking garbage out to the back with him
>take out my pocket knife and start stabbing him, take his wallet and throw him over into the dumpster
>tfw you killed your coworker just for his tip money
>it was only $53
T I M E T O D A N C E
