How do you robots handle rejection in all facets of your lives?
I was rejected by my oneitis today after I finally (like an idiot) admitted I wanted to date her. It's been so long since I even tried I forgot how to deal with these feels.
is that her?
Been through a similar thing last year only that keeps bugging me still. In my case she didn't even really reject me, she just kind of, with a disappointed expression, told me she already was dating someone.
Did she outright told you it wasn't going to happen or was she vague like in my case?
I cry, I cried pretty hard recently because I got rejected from a job.
just give up
I always assume that girls are not interested and it helps kinda
>>28800467
I don't open myself up to rejection.
>>28800467
At one point, when you got rejected a sufficient amount of time, the only feel you have left when it happens is just some bland pain in your heart that lasts for a second then you move on.
The feel you have when you think about how lonely you are is much much more painful, and will never fade away.
Don't ever get oneitis aim small miss all. You gotta be more predatory and opportunistic when it comes to women
>>28800785
This pretty much. I just don't give people that kind of leverage to hurt me with anymore.
>>28800798
fuck man I'm lonely, the damned thing about it is the more I feel like things I try to do won't come to fruition the more I feel lonely and demotivated to try anything. I am pretty sure that I'll keep on trying for about ten years and then at that point be so fucking depressed I won't even listen to my logical mind anymore. Is it even worth going through with my life, if I'd eventually end up in such a place? The only thing that could save me is like a miracle.
>>28800735
>Did she outright told you it wasn't going to happen or was she vague like in my case?
What went down was this:
>Conversation turns to relationships
>Ask her if she could've seen us dating at any point
>"never really thought about it desu anon. Is that what you're thinking now?"
>I try to stall for time but like an idiot I answer anyway
>Basically shuts me down saying maybe in the future it's a possibility to inspire some kind of hope but for now we should just be friends/hang out more.
>Pretend this doesn't kill me inside and pokerface into another subject after an awkward silence.
She was nice about it I suppose and its been a while since we'd hung out. I wish I'd never even gone on the date.
>>28800898
We have to keep trying mate. Because one thing is certain, If we do nothing, nothing will ever come.
Even in the end, I f end up alone, I will have the tiny satisfaction that I have at least tried.
>>28800909
You're sounding overly negative, of course she doesn't feel exactly the same as you, you've been obsessing over her in your mind. She might just like you, gotta convince her you're good man! Hang out more often and talk about things you care about, show yourself! Eventually just get drunk together one time and watch a movie at your place and everything sorts itself out.
>>28800467
>How do you robots handle rejection in all facets of your lives?
We can't, why do you think we're like this?
>>28800965
While agree with your main point of having to at least give this world a chance, I don't agree on your idea of never receiving rewards if you don't try. Almost everything that happens is outside of your control, if you just do basically nothing there's still a good chance someone will get to you and that luck will determine how you feel. This is the same if you actually try something, so nothing changes if you try or don't.
I mean if I take appointments with girls I liked from my middle school years for an example: I asked a female friend of mine a handfull of times if she'd want to chill and just talk with me. Look back at those years and stuff, she replies but there's not an actual motivation there to make that chill and talk a reality. So I can keep asking her and everytime she'll say "Yea! But I'm a little busy right now so next week maybe, I'll talk to you then!"
I don't have the luck that she wants to hang out and she's not busy so I could have just as well not asked if she wanted to. If I had had the luck she wanted to talk, she would've probably just asked me.
>>28801205
That's true, think can happen out of luck, but if you are a true robot you'll have to force things out because living a life counting on luck only when you are a robot is desperate
>>28801234
Im trying to say the world's luck will always be there, that thing where normies say: I'm great because I was detetmined's all bullshit. They were lucky, others are unlucky. What you "decide" to fucking do doesn't matter.
>>28801025
I have nothing interesting to talk about with her anymore. I'm basically a shutin now who works all the time and can barely talk about my interests in a way thats exciting or engaging.
She's the type to travel all the time and has a fairly normal life and mostly carries the conversation. I feel like complete garbage for even asking her out like that. I struggled just to talk to her most of the day especially afterward.
I just quit caring. Oneitis is like a disease. Talking to multiple females at once greatly improves your chances. Eventually you find something that works. Same with everything else in life. Just keep moving. Life is short and the faster you get over your disappointments the faster you can find success.
>>28800467
Push women away or just give them the cold shoulder. But I've kind of started to work on this in my last semester of college, actually got a date and then preceded to dump her because she was a loser. I flirted with another girl and found out she is dating a marine who is ten years older than her and has a house, so I dodged a bullet there. But she was a real prude and the way she rejected me hurt my feelings.
>>28801367
Just talk about your opinions of things, you know: politics, music, world affairs, movies, dreams, you can even talk about 4chan and how you think people are on the internet. You'l probably know a lot more about it then she does. Just keep the conversation understandable and ask her questions and sometimes tell a bit about yourself and your opinions relating to what she just said. You can do it man!
I mean if you find out that you don't share any interest with her and when she talks about something you find yourself utterly uninterested I'd say you gotta let her go. Otherwise you'll always find something to talk about!
>>28800467
she's cute! she's pretty and cute!
>>28801509
she's a pretty and qt qtp2t!
>>28801489
I really appreciate what you're saying anon but I think I'm a lost cause. I tried doing what you suggest but it just didn't really click besides a few times. To her, in the ways of the world I'm inexperienced since for the most part I live behind a screen. I bought into the STEM meme and forgot to live my life so I can't speak with her much about her travels beyond listening. I feel like an asshole when I try to mention things and she sees right through me. I have no experiences to share and no funny anecdotes from my days because I truly live like a robot.
>>28801750
classic roastie.
bulbasaur
>>28800467
Sometimes I wonder if "confessing that you like a girl" has ever worked for anyone in history. That's not how things are done.
>>28801824
clearly you don't watch anime.
>>28801848
I see. Anime claims yet another soul for the eternal misery pit.
>>28801750
you're just insecure, that wording you use:
>that moment when she sees right through me
you make that up, only if a person actually tells you straight up you're full of crap you should believe someone thinks in that way of you.
Also you fill in all these thoughts for her, without knowing her actual opinion. You should just be a little more patient man and ask her what she things of you then and what of your interests. You probably have some things in common if you have this huge oneitis.
When I got rejected by my oneitis, it wasn't the fact that I could not have her that got me down. There are plenty of cute girls around. What fucked with my head is wondering why I wasn't good enough for her. Why not me but some other guy? Is it my appearance? It must be my face. Fuck.
>>28801967
Gotta keep in mind that you probably were never a candidate. The very first crucial part of someone falling in love with you is that they can see who you are. This only happens if they either think of you or if you are just around them all the time. If you have oneitis you think about her all the time, so you trick yourself into thinking you spend time with her. She doesn't actually spend time with you, so you might be good enough, but she just never had the chance to see it.
>How do you robots handle rejection in all facets of your lives?
I just kept trying and trying and trying when I got rejected by oneitis
4 years later and I'm still trying...
I'll tell details if anyone wants but I don't really know where to begin, so ask if you want. Plus it's likely or possible no one cares so I also don't want to type a bunch of stuff out
>>28800467
As man, I grew accustomed to it, I think man are supposed to learn to cope it, but I learnt to deal with it in different situations, one time I hit bottom, and I am actually kind of happy it happened because I can deal now with it better, nonetheless I wish it wouldn't happen to be this late in life I was 24, now I'm 26 , I just accept it, I learn is normal to feel bad and never express it, and it slowly goes inside and disappear without the negative repercussion or humiliating my self or making a fool of my self.
I can deal with it now, every kind of rejection, is actually my de facto mental state, I assume and expect rejection, it also makes it easier to deal with, and if I don't get rejection somehow makes a happy surprise, I think that is the key here, expect nothing always,
It doesn't mean I don't feel anything anymore, Of course I feel, that is why I just don't go everywhere because I can deal with it, I constantly avoid it, but if I need to I can make it work.
I just keep it to my self.
>>28802072
Ever had a girl give you hope that maybe one day, when things don't go right for her, when she is feels like all that attention around her is starting to fade, she will look for you?
There is no reason to take rejection personally. It simply means you are not enough of a chad.
>>28801913
That may be but I get the feeling from her tone of voice, some comments made or body language that I may have been right. I don't know. Even events that had happened in my life I tried to explain she criticized me of having viewed it through a screen or seen it somewhere else like she didn't believe me. That kind of thing.
I guess I can possibly invite her out elsewhere and ask or maybe text. I don't know what we'd have in common anymore besides maybe tv. We're just such hugely different people now but at the same time after this I feel like I'm using it all as an excuse to give up.
>>28802116
I am naturally optimistic, every time I hear about a possibility for something I want to make it true. Rejection is very common to me. I had thought of this wisdom of lowering my expectations but I just can't make it happen. It happens automatically. Do you maybe have any tips for me?
>>28802233
I can't say no double trips.
But I need more information about you, like age gender and things.
what do you feel in general?
how is your personality?
what are your common expectation of things?
I just go in with no expectations. I know she's probably going to say no, so I don't get myself hyped over it. It helps with the rejection.
I didn't need to get rejected my my onitis though. She just got a bf and completely forgot I existed. Now she spends her time on social medias talking about how great he is.
Had to start ignoring her to hide my feels.
>>28802378
>I just go in with no expectations. I know she's probably going to say no, so I don't get myself hyped over it. It helps with the rejection.
same here. remember gents, all women are roasties.
I don't have to deal with rejection because I'm not a normalfag cockroach who infests this board.
If you're still trying to get a 3d gf then move to reddit or /adv/. You're not wanted here.
>>28802138
That's kinda what I hope for.
She's never had a boyfriend or anything though, never kissed anyone or anything as far as I know either. And after all this time we're really close
and of course she knows how much I like her, I haven't really shyed away from from that fact.
I do get kinda paranoid sometimes or insecure, but realistically she's really never lied to me before all this time, and it very much so fits her personality as she's kinda a complete prude always been that way since forever, and by all definitions of the word except physical, we are extremely close, we talk nearly every day and everything.
I just don't know what she wants, not to mention whenever it's a question she doesn't want to answer she just gets vague, which applies to all questions as to why she hadn't/won't/hasn't/ still go out with me.
>>28802216
If she criticizes you, and you feel like she is right in doing so, just learn from it. Not only will you grow to be better in other relationships throughout the rest of your life, but it'll show her that you actually listen to what she says.
In any case, you never messed anything up. It seems like she would still hang out with you if you asked, so that means more than anything negative you just said right? Try to look at it from her side, you maybe said some things that indicate you look through some kind of window. Well, if you later say you took that to heart and are working on that maybe she'll feel respected and that's ten times better than you saying that through a screen thing is bad in the first place.
Use the criticism to your advantage is what Im trying to say
>>28800467
I dealt with rejection by giving up. I can see rejection just in peoples eyes so I don't even have to bother trying. I almost spilled my spaghetti to my oneitis before she moved away for good but didnt because I realized it didnt fucking matter anyway and that shes going to keep fucking her scumbag boyfriend no matter what.
Now I just dull my senses with whiskey and drugs and try to enjoy living inside my own head.
When I get rejected all I think is if I looked like a male model or handsome movie star would I have gotten rejected? That makes me want to get drunk and drive my car into the ocean.
"personality counts"
how the fuck does it count when they reject me based on appearance before I can even show them my personality? Fuck this shit.
>>28802408
what board do you think this is, >>>/a/ ?
>>28802435
Only attractive people have "good personalities." That's like when they say they want a guy who's "funny." They don't want someone who's funny, they want a hot guy who tells stupid jokes they can pretend to laugh at before they throat fuck them.
>>28802294
I'm 18, male, and about to go live with a friend and go to uni. Kind of in a NEET year right now, wagecucked for a couple of months but my soul hurt to much because of the repetetive job.
>feels
Im pretty lonely, Im always up to talk and mostly the last person to leave parties or meetings wtvr.
Like I said I look at things from an optimistic point of view. For example: When I am planning my next weekend and my friend tells me he can maybe do something together next weekend and plan in that we'll play music together without him actually agreeing on that or without knowing he can make it for sure. What happens next is he can't make it and I am left feeling rejected. Things like this happen again and again and I start being less excited about things and making less plans with friends because it doesn't go though so many times.
:( I want friends that actually want to hang out as much as I want to. Or even better a gf who knows what loneliness is.
>>28802435
>>28802519
exactly. two important things to understand here
1. the halo effect. google it
2. when women list of their stupid little "preferences" they are really listing off things that they like if you are chad. meaning that there really is only one preference on all girls lists, and it is: "be Chad". everything else is bullshit to make themselves feel less shallow.
>>28802418
Yeah both you and her are right anon. I just don't know where to start. I'm trying to pick up hobbies that get me out of the house and interacting with people more because I realize I can't keep going this way. It just sucks after all this time to have nothing to talk about and I don't want her to be gone again but thats inevitable since she never stays in one place too long. Just makes me sad to think I wasn't good enough in the window of opportunity I had but like you said I can learn from it. Maybe there will be a next time.
Have another qt for helping me out.
>>28802867
It's sad but true. Women will see whatever they want to see, if you're hot they will only see the good.
I got rejected by my oneitis in high school. She transferred to my uni and we started hanging out again, I asked her out again and she rejected me and gave me shit for thinking that it's gonna happen. Honestly, before she gave me shit I was feeling horrible until she yapped her mouth about "why do you keep doing this?", it felt like it wasn't that bad. I asked 2 more girls out and they both rejected me, one told me she isn't attracted to me at all. Those hurt more than the oneitis ;_;.
>>28802914
Glad to have been of any use, but honestly Im just helping myself out man. I feel bad, just needed something to do, and any friendly interaction with people is nice at this point.
I wish you the best of luck anon, may the qts find us and the memes guide us in this life.
I make this face while the scenario repeats in my head for the rest of the day. That along with mentally putting myself down.
>>28800798
This post sums it up well. The actual rejection whatever used to it.
But this lonesome road....it's endless
>>28800467
You cut and run.
That's what I did. Things will get worse, but they will be far better than if you stayed and chased.
>>28800467
> I finally (like an idiot) admitted I wanted to date her
She probably never liked you like that anyways, much better to get that out of the way, forget her and move on, you'll thank yourself for it.
The way I see it, women don't reject me because they want Chad instead. They reject me because I have nothing to offer them. Why would anyone date me? What do I have that richer, taller, nicer, funnier guys don't? The answer is nothing.
That's why I got addicted to anime instead. 2D girls will never reject me and will never judge me based on my appearance. They are always cute and will never think I look like a school shooter.
>>28803261
well they don't do anything with you so...
what you're saying might as well apply to a rock
>>28803261
>That's why I got addicted to anime instead. 2D girls will never reject me and will never judge me based on my appearance. They are always cute and will never think I look like a school shooter.
I also can't embrace them or have one by my side holding my arm.
>>28802378
>I didn't need to get rejected my my onitis though. She just got a bf and completely forgot I existed. Now she spends her time on social medias talking about how great he is.
>Had to start ignoring her to hide my feels.
kek this just happened to me desu
I mean, I haven't even spoken to my oneitis yet but my heart rushes every time I see her, but 5 days ago I saw her being really friendly with a guy so I just decided to ignore her from now on. Don't stare at her, don't think about her, stop stalking her facebook, etc.
>>28801489
Literally make things up. In high school, I've been a graphics designer, DJ, cashier, paperboy, cell phone repair person, and athlete. Course, I was none of that, but I had time to kill so I wrote out how I ended up in all these positions and I've rehearsed it so many times I've basically convinced myself I lived those lives. Hasn't help me yet with women, but I made a killing with job interviews using those in my college years.
>>28801824
Well kinda, we ended up hooking up about a month later, but she still doesn't know if she wants a legit relationship. And I can't help but obsess over her while I wait for her to make a decision. How would you ask someone out instead of confessing?
>>28800467
>admitted I wanted to date her
Fuck, just the way you say it is cringey.
You need to explicitly ask her if she wants to do something at a specific time and place, not "U-ummmm, I want to maybe possibly d-date you".
>>28803300
>>28803295
I still crave physical affection like most robots. I just use anime like a drug to cope with loneliness and tfw no gf. Obviously (at least until true vr arrives) you can't touch it, but it helps me enough.
>>28803417
I should rephrase. We were already on the date. What basically happened was in >>28800909.
>>28800467
That girl needs to take a long look in the mirror and fix her damn eyeliner smqh
