Weirdest things done while horny
I fapped one time
![ptg01086945[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/AXudIr7.jpg "ptg01086945[1].jpg")
Fucked my grandmas pillow.
It was iridescent and I have a fetish for iridescent things.
>>28797764
Shoved my dad's plastic toothbrush holder up my snatch because it's around dildo size.
Genius idea tbqh I'm surprised I never thought of it sooner.
I have a floor tile fetish
Had a hotel room for myself.
I fapped under the covers of the bed wishing the cleaner would find it. The thought of that made me cum buckets.
Nothing ever came of it so I guess she either didnt report it or didnt notice it.
In hotel, horny so I just had to masturbate for relief, when I was about to cum laying on the bed, I would quickly turn over to the side and release my cum on the carpet and just leave it there. It feels satisfying not having to deal with cleanup and knowing someone will clean it up for you lol.
Jerked off on my little cousin's Hannah Montana bedspread while my mother slept on the floor like 5 feet away.
>>28797958
Everyone does this.
She said a prayer to god cursing you to hell and went about her usual tasks.
See: >>28797969
Brainwashed myself/ sold my spirit to Satan.
>>28797958
>>28797969
You guys need to bring along a blacklight sometime.
My mum worked as a housekeeper and whenever we stayed at a hotel she made certain we never used blankets or drank from their cups.
She saw some seriously fucked up shit during her time.
>>28798141
Tell us what shes seen
>>28798158
Fluids of all kinds, suicides and universally abhorrent cleaning standards.
It doesn't matter if it's 5 stars.
Do not sleep under a blanket without a sheet.
>>28798197
Ew thats fucking gross
Photoshopped captions and cumshots onto facebook pictures I took from girls I know
Even took a girl's selfie-pic, pasted her on top of a pic of a porn star who looks like her sucking cock, and captioned it insinuating she's proud that her mother sucks her boyfriend's cock and wants to share it with the world
Fuck I'm getting hard thinking about it
>>28798197
Thats what happens when people know they dont have to clean up after themselves. Theyre just gonna abuse the fact because people are horrible.
The suicide thing though... damn. That is some fucked up shit for sure.
>>28797764
Licked my precum off the floor.
>>28798141
>drank from their cups.
but they are disposable plastic cups wrapped in plastic bags
did she aslo work at the factory where they made the plastic cups and saw some seriously fucked up shit during her time?
>>28797764
Had sex in the missionary position for the purpose of procreation.
>>28798933
Huh?
I've never seen plastic cups man.
Anyway the reason is that they don't actually wash them, they just rinse them out.
>>28797764
came up a girls nose and in her eye.
>>28799089
also put a bottle head up my ass
>>28797764
>stayed home alone on friday night dateless kissless handholdless for 1704 consecutive weeks
>>28799166
Top czech
>>28799166
Damn. How's wizard life treating you?
>>28798139
Pretty much this
Was really dumb tbqh
Do not recommend
>let/encourage a dog mount and hump me
>masturbate in the bathroom at church while worshinging bf's cock
>set up pinhole cam so I can spy on bf and masturbate while watching him
>molest little cousin while she was sleeping
>beg bf to let me drink his piss
>masturbate with dead animals
There are a lot more. I'm a slave to my pussy and it gets me in some depraved situations.
fapped with sisters bra and came on her toothbrush
see y'all in hell
its gonna be fun
>>28799464
>Masturbate with dead animals
Nigga wat
True story
>Family went to nans house
>Uncle is like 50 and still lives with his mom (nan)
>Decided to go into nans basement where uncles room is
>Family upstairs, feeling horny af
>find uncles playstation
>has pics of hot hockey girls
>Go into sketchy bathroom without a lock and standup while jerking off
>Dad comes downstairs and opens bathroom door and tells me its dinner time
>I'm not sure if he knows if i was jerking it as i put my dick back in my shorts like godspeed
I jacked off with a piece of Han once
>>28799891
Solo? Wow.
>>28799464
Holy fuck, What does your boyfriend mean to you?
>>28797764
Your momoriginales
I put something up my butt, it didn't feel very good
Wore an androgynous shirt and put on lipstick, and let guys jack off to me on chat roulette.
>>28799724
Like, rub them on my pussy until I cum.
It's fucked up and that's really all I can say in my defense.
>>28799959
Literally everything. I'm obsessed with him.
>>28799949
I meant ham. They won't let me half a computer were I'm staying and auto correct is a nigger
>>28800370
Holy fugg if this is not bait, just end it while you still can
>>28800462
Why? I'm happy and enjoy my life and my relationship. Just because I'm a depraved freak doesn't mean I don't enjoy it.
>>28800370
Want to do some nasty shit for us? You could become /r9k/'s whore.
>>28800385
Not even half of a computer? That's rough.
When I was in college and really horny for some reason I did some stupid things. Fuck knows why, but I fell for the prostate meme. I tried shoving my finger up my ass with no results, only shame and regret.
One time I went the extra mile though and shoved my roomates toothbrush up my ass. Obviously just the handle part. It had this rubbery surface that made it hard to get it out. I was in the bathroom for a while and he came back early. He knocked on the door and told me to hurry up with whatever I was doing since he needs to take a shit.
There I was, with a toothbrush stuck in my ass. Trying to pull it out slowly. I dont know why it went in so easily. Eventually I got it out and I tried to wash it, only the stink of ass and shit wouldnt come off of it, not to mention the smell of a stinky asshole in the air.
I just threw the toothbrush in the trash bin and quickly left the toilet, went outside and spent most of the day outside, thinking what the fuck I would say if he asked about the smell and the mysterious dissapearance of his toothbrush. Luckily he never asked anything about it.
>>28799318
would you like me to tell you that it gets better?
it doesn't
>>28800547
Why are we still here anon? Just to suffer?
Stuck my dick in a bowl of yogurt and used it to jerk myself off, then ate the yogurt.
would have been better if the granola didn't cut up my dick.
Nothing crazy, came on my face/ate my own come.
Felt incredible feelings of shame.
>>28800565
With enough Mana, we will become all powerful.
>>28800492
Ending it is the only way out. It is the best for everyone to archieve purity.
>>28797764
My parents created me and your parents created you
>>28797764
I used to shove frozen hot dogs up my ass then set a mirror up and watch myself poop them out.
While fapping of course.
Most I ever got in there was 3.
Licked my little sisters feet and touched her ass. :)
>>28800677
I don't want to be pure.
put a thin rubber band around my cock and balls, then fapped furiously
felt good, took it off right after I came though
>>28800857
Tbh it's usually girls like you who are the easiest to get to cheat on their bfs. You'll deny it and say you'd never do that, i'm sure. So do the rest.
>>28801149
I've had numerous guys try but none succeed. I'm not joking when I say I'm obsessed with my bf. He's perfect in every way and no one else can even come close in comparison.
>>28800370
>Like, rub them on my pussy until I cum.
that's just wrong, onii-senpaichan. then again this post could be bait.prove that it isn't bait, first!
but...the depraved behavior of it makes it kinky, but filthy and disgusting, you should be ashamed...but aroused
>>28801194
I don't know how I can prove it, seeing as it's something I did in the past and didn't take pictures of.
>>28797764
Masturbated with tabasco sauce and orgasmed. Never going to do it again, but it was not as intolerable as I originally thought.
>sucked the first inch or so of my own dick and enjoyed it
>not sure if it was the feeling of having my dick sucked or the feeling of sucking a dick that I enjoyed more
>needed something taboo and extreme because I was feeling devilish so fapped to bestiality porn.
>>28797764
Worn my sisters dress, funniest thing is that she wore it the day ofter. And I'm pretty sure I got some dick stains on it.
Engaging in intercourse
>when I was 14 or 15 if was jacking it in then shower I would try to fuck the drain. I would lay on the floor of the tub trying to bend my body up the wall so my dick would line up. Holy shit it never worked and I got so frustrated
> also I would try to curl into the tiniest ball with my head towards the ground and back and legs pressed to wall trying so hard to suck my own cock, never worked either best I could get was to lick the top of it
Spread my ass cheeks in my dogs face hoping it would lick my asshole. I thought since the dog was a dog it would do it and not realize what I was doing to it, but it looked at me like "wtf are you doing" and kept moving irs head away awkwardly judging me. I beat the shit out of her and later the dog "told on me" by barking at me and crying when my dad came home. I got yelled at and punished for hurting the dog... I didn't think they could understand these things, dogs must be less autistic than me
