Be me:
> Grew up while being locked up, wasn't allowed to leave the house
> Would only go to school and never leave house otherwise
> Don't have friends or bf, get bullied at school because people think I'm weird
> Don't know how to act around people
> Constantly got hit and abused by stepdouche
> While mum would always tell me what a failure I am
> Stepdouche tried to kill me and mum for the second time when I was about 17
> Mum finally divorced
> Everything seems to go pretty ok from then on
> Still don't have any friends or bf
> Finish school, stay a year at home then go to university
> Change course after 2 years (without finishing first one)
> Drop out of second course after 2 years
> Plan to start working, can't get my shit together and send out a job application
> Mum becoming more and more hateful towards me
> Still no friends or bf, feeling like an absolute failure
> 3 years later I'm still jobless, haven't left the house in the past 3 years
> Was locked up half of my life, could leave house now anytime but scared to do so
> What's wrong with me?
> Don't know how long mum will let me stay with her
> Keeps telling me she doesn't need me, probably hopes that I'll just kill myself so she is free
> Now I'm 26yr old 5'3'' 105lb, actually really pretty but still no friends
> Never went to therapy
> Shall I go to therapy guys? Is it even worth it? How long will it take to fix me? Isn't my life over anyways?
inb4
> 300 posts, 150 images
>>28787898
if its free
fuck paying for that shit
pics?
0plz
>>28787898
Keep sending out job applications. It's pretty easy to find job application templates online and get tips for interviews. Get something basic to start and you can offer to pay your mom some rent. Then you can stay at home and take your time finding a better job or school program that you like.
>>28787987
Have no healthcare, mum would maybe pay for it.
Do online therapy sites like 7cups work?
>>28788080
Couldn't even send out one till now,
everytime I prepare everything and I'm about to send out the Mail I just start to doubt myself...
What will they think when they see that I failed university?
Am I not too old to start doing anything anyway?
If they actually invite me to an interview how will talk with them?
I was once so promising, everything was going so great, but I failed,
my mum is ashamed of me, I just don't want to see any people...
I always feel like everyone is laughing behind my back.
Like; they know about everything what happened to me and see me as a total loser.
I always wanted to show everyone that I still can make it besides my past,
I wanted my mum to be proud, but now I feel like I confirmed what everyone was thinking,
like a total laughingstock.
>>28788024
You don't need to see more than this
>>28788315
school for adults to learn a simple but interesting job. like cooking or something like that
don't become a waitress and a cashier. you will want to travel so you need a job you can do everywhere.
let school for a while if you are not sure what you want.
also learn about narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xze8RgWg4x4
>>28788315
come live with me. im also an attractive person who does not know what the fuck to d o. i moved to colorado because i kept ending back up at my moms. buts its tough im smart and attractive but unmotivated.
>>28788315
and im like kind of serious. im 25. i was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in the navy but i never took anything for it. im super co dependant but everyone is so normal and i hate it. so i can never stay with anyone. need a weird girl like u.
>>28787898
I'm like you, only male and obese, even tried suicide a few times
>>28788315
well if you end up seeing this and you wanna talk email me with some kind of proof its you kenujo(at)mswork.ru I promise im a goodlooking dude. i know this is weird I just figured id give it a shot. hard meeting like minded people that arent impossible to look at ( im not a shallow asshole but we all have our limits)
>>28788567
>>28788614
>>28788704
and just to clarify this was me, im not the obese guy. and this is my last post
>>28788704
i know you, not obese , but rather skeleton skinny, acne, hydrocephalia
Stop harrasing this cute girl
>>28787898
Find your psychic powers and burn down the prom while covered in red paint.
>>28788713
obese guy here, you can take her if you want to, one roastie is way enough for me
>>28787898
Better off posting this in /adv/ might get some good advice here, but more likely just a bunch of trolls or guys trying to get in your pants
Find a sugar daddy to take care of you. You can even try /soc/.
>>28788567
>>28788614
>>28788678
>>28788704
>>28788786
This level of desperation... I thought r9k was a meme lol.
>>28788825
>>28788826
Don't get why people think r9k is a good place for actual advice, it's more or less just a place to troll other people with a few exceptions
>>28788826
why would I be desperate? for telling OP that I can relate? and no, I'm not single (one roastie is enough)...
>inb4 get out normie
>>28788402
I never really thought about traveling, not even about leaving the house...
I don't know if I could do that, alone in an unknown environment
while being afraid of people laughing at me ...
Thank you for the Video, ended up watching multiple videos about narcissism.
Also googled for more infos ... and some of the criteria really fit my mum.
But I still really like her, even tho she tells me that she is ashamed of me,
that I became old, have no friends and should just give up.
It's so weird, I mean she still put up for 3 years with me,
she didn't throw me out so she also must somehow love me, right?
I mean she is the only person I have right now, if my own mum doesn't love me,
then why am I even living?
If this is true you qualify for neetbux, treatment, and housing. Going to get help is hard-luckily I was approached by a social worker and answered questions honestly. I get 'bux, foodstamps, housing, a no stress part time job, and can go to school for anything that intrests me at the State college. My story is similar to yours except I was neglected and found myself on my own at 16. Did some gang shit, sold drugs etc. til about 20. Applied for grub stubs and a woman approached me and asked if I wanted to apply for benefits and I answered I didn't think I would qualify. She said let's find out for sure. Her job is advocate. She did everything. Saved my life probably.
>>28788614
Don't listen to this guy, he's trying to lure you into his sex dungeon.
Move in with me instead. I demand sex in return. If you wrong me once I swear to god I will murder you. I will share my kurig with you. Picture for proof.
>>28788876
I thought my problem was more fitting for r9k ...
my bad, I'm sorry
>>28789029
Tell us where are you located?
>>28789029
It's no problem. I can show you pictures of K cups if you need further proof.
>>28788315
Kill yourself attention whore. Shove a blender up your rotten cunt.
>>28789039
In Europe
>>28788940
>she didn't throw me out so she also must somehow love me, right?
nope.
she is keeping you for narcissistic supply.
see you don't even realise that love is loving. care is caring. literally content with crumbs. she groomed you to be like that. hopeless and content with whatever she gives you.
>I never really thought about traveling, not even about leaving the house...
pardon my french but she fucked you up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rzvoKbZXZg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvUiJ6oVXIw
you need to become independant sooner than later. trust me, your story is really close to home
>>28788315
No way you're 26. You look barely 18.
>>28789091
I also have a George Foreman grill. Color TV. DONT IGNORE ME
>>28789091
Me too. I have a well paid job. I could use a live-in maid/sex slave. You will get good benefits.
>people actually believe OP
Seriously do you really expect that a girl like this gets bullied and doesn't have an army of white knights? Bullshit.
At least I can imagine that not all of you are serious...
>>28789184
We'll start the bidding at 1000 dollars.
>>28788567
>>28788614
>>28788704
I can't even manage to leave the house...
I live like a parasite, why would you be interested?
>>28789306
>What is intercourse?
>>28789128
I'm not ignoring you, I'm watching the Videos the other anon posted.
The George Foreman Grill nearly got me,
I never had a George Foreman Grill
>>28787898
>wasting the best years of the female body
>as a japanese robot has said, you are now a christmas cake
>and we all know, no one want Christmas cake after the 25th
>>28789091
In Europe where? If it's Scandinavia or the Balkans, I could help you with the job.
>>28788678
Haven't tried suicide yet, but can't stop thinking about why I should keep on living.
I think that's one of the positive sides of my selfhate,
never was obese, everytime I failed at anything, I would stop eating, because I thought I don't deserve to eat.
>>28789306
to stick their dicks in your vagina/ass you dumb whore
You faggots are so desperate.This is probably the single worst board Ive come across.
>>28789306
because im the same way. i only leave the house because i have to. other wise i never do. i want to do fun things though. im just weird. and if your real, you are actually a good looking weirdo too. which is rare. and we can fix eachother or just be gross freaks. i do realize this probably isnt real but hey dont know till you try
>>28789327
What's wrong with one day old cake you spoiled motherfucker.
>>28789320
You can't use it. I'm just proving my high status
>>28789296
I'll pay 1000eur a month for a pretty live-in maid/sex slave. And include some paid vacation days. Travel expenses included.
>>28789320
watch this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftg_I4_Bz5M&index=36&
i hope you understand my point, OP
you need to be strong and leave and become independant financially the rest will follow
you are stronger than you realise. your mother lives to put you down
>>28789449
That's not how bidding works, you goddamned europoor. You don't start offering a car oil checks for life during an auction.
>>28789467
>buttmad poorfag detected
>>28789353
In Western Europe
>>28787898
>Parental issues up the fucking ass
Gonna let you know right now. You get any sort of relationship without mental help, and it'll end badly.
>>28789497
May I suggest you post in /soc/ in the sugar daddy thread? I'll find you there. Leave out your life story obviously. I can help you get your life back on track.
>>28789497
This is like Carmen Sandiego except it ends in rape.
>>28789327
I know that... that's what my mum is telling me constantly. That's why I asked if Therapy is even worth it. How long will it take to fix me? Should I even try it at this point?
>>28789516
No. Forget therapy. Keep asking 4chan.
>>28789511
true.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jK9innYlGMM&
>>28789515
>Carmen Sandiego ends in rape.
That's my recurrent childhood wet dream
>>28789516
>Should I even try it at this point?
I hope you realise everything that you think and feel has been condtionned by years of abuse.
it's not really you. you don't even know who you are. so, i'd say, you owe it to yourself to find yourself. you really want to settle for this life of misery? or do you want joy? and loving, nurturing relationships. i'm sure that's not what you wanted when you were a child
>>28789586
Gay.
Unoriginal comment. Fuck you, robot.
>>28789516
I'm in Western Europe too. I can help. I posted that job offer earlier.
>>28789116
>>28789458
Thank you for the Videos!
I understand your point, but I feel so split thinking about it ...
Yes she is not the nicest person .... But I also fucked up my life,
I shattered all her hopes, so she has every right to act like that or not?
And if I would actually manage to leave, then what would happen to her?
I mean I'm her daughter and she took care of me for 26years ... (don't I owe her?)
I don't know if I could live constantly thinking about that I left her behind.
>Stepdouche
Fuck off, Chloe.
>>28789586
As a child there was nothing I wanted besides surviving.
And after the physical abuse was over, my only goal was to make my mum proud,
I tried my best to not end up as a failure, but I still did.
How does one find him/herself?
>>28789644
I actually really liked that character, she was able to tell her stepdouche off and speak her mind (kinda admired her for it), I would've never dared to tell him that into his face.
>>28789438
Wow that makes me sad ...
that would have been a dream come true,
guess I will never have the chance to use a George Foreman Grill now. =(
>>28789683
Yeah, she's defiant but that's all she is. She never even thinks of looking at her stepdad's side of the story and only ever makes things worse for everyone. All her bad decisions are waved away with "muh daddy issues!" when really they're just fucking dumb decisions.
>>28789615
>But I also fucked up my life,
I shattered all her hopes, so she has every right to act like that or not?
you did not fuck up your life. you were put on that path. and your lost you drive and enthousiasm and finally you love for life. do you understand?
you mother may not be totally to blame because she is unconscious and she is just trying to make herself feel better by abusing you.
you love her so you let that happen. but think about it. would you do that to your child if you had one?
>>28789660
Success by society's standards is false. Don't judge failure by their standards. Just send the application.
>>28789736
Agree with you on that point, that's why I sacrificed her at the end.
But I still admire her courage.
>>28789660
yeah. i come out from a relationship were that was also my only goal.
she cheated on me. y
ou can't make people happy. if they really want to be miserable, you just can't. that's impossible.
you life is your life. you don't owe your mother anything but your respect and maybe your love if she earned it. did she? obviously not.
>>28789797
Don't know why anyone would kill hundreds of people and destroy livelihoods for one waifu, so good decision there.
>>28789759
But how can I get out of this without abandoning her?
Earning my own money is now on top of my priority list.
But I don't know if I could even leave the house to go to an job interview...
And when I earn my own money, how could I leave her?
It just doesn't feel right.
Who would I have left?
Who would she have left?
Wouldn't that make me even more of an failure, to leave my own mother after all she did?
>>28789615
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZdbj1HCXAo&
the last video i'll recommend
i have to go.
don't let nobody put you down. even those you love or those you think have authority over you. love is loving.
bye OP. you are strong, you still alive. it's time to move on the better things.
>>28789811
>you don't owe your mother anything but your respect and maybe your love if she earned it. did she? obviously not
Not throwing me out and paying for my food etc., means she earned my love or not?
>>28789882
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLrHZvHFg3k
okay another video.
it's a trap. this guilt is not real. you have done nothing wrong.
>>28789930
>Not throwing me out and paying for my food etc., means she earned my love or not?
a big NO.
>>28789902
Thank you so much for all the advice and listening to my problems.
This actually motivated me, I will try my best.
Wish you all the best!
>>28789930
okay.
imagine: your mother decides to get a dog one day.
who do you think will get a better treatment?
yup. the dog.
you are an emotional dustbin.
yeah, you got food and shelter. but, there is no real love here.
THE WHITE KNIGHTING IS OFF THE CHARTS.
THIS PERSON IS A MAN.
THERE ARE NO VIRGIN HERMIT QTS WITH ANXIETY ISSUES.
>>28789979
my pleasure.
be well.
>>28787898
You should try /adv/ if you want better help than we can give you.
>>28789882
You can come live with me. I will even give you money and pay for therapy.
>>28790042
also OP. don't fall for this kind of trick.
nobody can save you but yourself. don't become a slave for a sugar daddy. or mommy.
hey, it's 2016.
>>28790107
Hey, I'm a real sugar daddy and could help OP out. I even live in the same area. She just needs to be careful to not go with a fake sugar daddy.
>>28789985
Now that you mentioned it, we had a cat once
(which walked away a year ago).
And she treated that cat like a princess,
she got cuddled all day long and told how perfect she is.
Never really thought about comparing the way she treated me
to how she treated her cat.
>>28790020
Somebodyelse mentioned it,
I thought my problem (NEET, can't leave the house, have nobdy to talk to)
was more fitting for r9k, so it's my bad, but thanks for pointing that out anway!
Yes a therapist will really help
I know it's normal to you, but it sounds like you were raised in a v. dysfunctional environment. you can't realise how unessecary and abnromal everything was until you get away, and get a second perspective. speaking from a similar experience!
Just make sure you find a therapist that WORKS for you, though. Go see a few just as a matter of principle - you'll know when you've found a good one.
I know you're probably meh about it, but at least give it a try! You'll be surprised
>>28790146
see. if you really stop and contemplate this behavior, you will quickly understand your place in her life.
this game can go for a lifetime:
you stay with her. she makes you feel bad and guilty so she can feel a little better about herself. it works wonderfully because you believe everything she says ( it's your mother after all, right ). you feel bad about yourself so don't go outside and find people who truly love you for who you are and don't treat you like shit. you don't even go outside from fear of others seeing what 'failure' you are. so you stay with her. etc.
i'm pretty sure you are a kind and nurturing person. but she won't let you see that.
>>28790313
About how long would it take to "fix" me?
I feel like I've already lost so much time of my life...
I assume you once went to a therapist,
I'm nervous even thinking about it, so if I may ask:
What do I talk about, where do I start?
Do you think a therapist would judge me? (I mean I did basically nothing for 3 years)
If I would tell a therapist everything like I did here (that I'm thinking about suicide for example)
do you think he would force me to go to a psychiatric clinic?
>>28790314
Watching all this videos and thinking about it, somehow made me see a lot of things different...
Reminded me of that one time I talked to my mum after school (after her divorce),
where she asked me "Don't you have any friends at your school to meet up with?"
(I really had none and would move straight back home after school) and I answered her:
"I don't go to school to find friends, I go there to learn"
At that time I thought she would be proud at that statement,
because I prefered learning to hanging around with friends and she actually was really proud,
it was just the answer she wanted to hear.
>tfw no damaged gf to nurse back to health
>>28790632
>it was just the answer she wanted to hear.
i have no friends for the same reason.
i always felt guilty when i got too close to other children at school. but i also felt alone since as long as i can remember.
you are more easy to control that way.
that's why you can't strive to make your mother proud. you just can't. not when her moral compass is just fucked.
>>28790803
you should nurse yourself back to health, m8
>>28790868
Back then she was so proud at me for being strong
(not having friends and focusing on school was being strong for her)
and now she keeps bullying me with the fact that I have no friends.
When I leave my room to get something to eat for example and we meet in the kitchen, she just randomly asks me stuff like:
"do you even have any friend that would come help you if you needed it?"
She also wants me to go out more often (even tho I dont have anyone to meet up with)
and at the same time she tells me that she is ashamed of me
"what will the neighbours think, everybodyelses children are so perfect, I can never talk about you"
But I don't want to believe she is doing that purpose, I mean, she also is through a lot, maybe that caused it.
How do you cope with having no friends?
I don't know what I would do without her, I would have nobody.
>>28790868
*easier
>>28790891
But me and OP could help each other...
>>28791045
>and now she keeps bullying me with the fact that I have no friends.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_bind
>"what will the neighbours think, everybodyelses children are so perfect, I can never talk about you"
http://www.jkrishnamurti.org/krishnamurti-teachings/view-daily-quote/20150807.php
>But I don't want to believe she is doing that purpose, I mean, she also is through a lot, maybe that caused it.
she could be unconscious or not. this is a question that a lot of people ask on this subject. search for the answer but i'm not sure myself. but even if she is unconscious you can't stay with her without risking further abuse.
>How do you cope with having no friends?
>I don't know what I would do without her, I would have nobody.
you become like wolverine. lol
well, i don't know. i try to make a habit of doing things i love to do. on a daily basis, i try to make music, learn something new, go the park and lie in the sun, ride a bike, bake a nice meal or a cake. not for my parents or others, just for me.
being alone is not a curse. and being with somebody in a close relationship or friendship does not mean that you won't feel alone.
finding a job or an activity outside this tiny zone where you were put is the key if you want to find people willing to share your life. this tiny zone you're in is REALLY confortable but it's a trap.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bp6eGb2GgmQ
>>28790463
> What do I talk about, where do I start?
There isn't really any set procedure! A good psychotherapist won't really...you know, often really give you an agenda or so on. further, with your background I'd reckon he'd think that was a mistake for a few reasons!
> Do you think a therapist would judge me? (I mean I did basically nothing for 3 years)
Nah, not at all. They really wouldn't. I think a load would understand, you know, like most people here. They'd be an awful therapist (and therefore in no position to judge anyone, let alone someone who's money they were taking) if they were judgemental, especially about something as understandable as your circumstances. Want to also stress 1) your condition, situation etc, is rare but normal to hear for therapists 2) they've certainly spoken to some really fucked up, 'bad' people. likely aren't going to bat an eyelid judging you!
> If I would tell a therapist everything like I did here (that I'm thinking about suicide for example)
Nah, not at all likely. I've told loads about my suicidal thoughts (that i had in the past) but you really have to be at serious, imminent risk for them to even consider sectioning you. Besides, you don't have to tell them...they'll understand.
I really implore you to give this a go, just...go searching now, a lot of them will take you on for free if you're poor (and especially if someone is a bit 'trapped' like you are!)
>>28791308
nope. you can only love someone when you have love.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtOH9nediA0
>>28791469
* by rare I mean, comparatively rare in the general population, but common in therapeutic ones
>People replying to this seriously
There is LITERALLY an advice board.
God damn white knight faggots and attention whores
At least use the proper board for it
>>>/adv/
>>28791576
2 people already pointed that out and both times I said that it was my bad and that I'm sorry.
I thought the subject was more fitting for r9k and used the wrong board.
But I'm still thankful for all the serious and helpful advice I've got.
>>28788315
the shooped arm keks me
>>28788315
way to photoshop your arm to make it look skinnier you attentionwhoring fat cunt
>>28791950
a decent amount of /r9k/ users should take notice of the advices provided in this thread.
also, stop acting like your life was threatened by a single thread.
I'd rather lick 5 pussies clean from Tyrone's seed than be in the same room as some of you white knighting reprobates. Gas yourselves.
>>28791455
>>28791469
All this videos are actually extremely helpful and fitting for my problem,
I guess I always searched for the wrong problem/solution and that's why I never found them.
I thought my mainproblem was that I just couldn't leave the house and had no friends
and when I searched for it online I only found things Agoraphobia related,
which didn't really help me.
I just assumed the reason for everything was me, that simply I was a failure (which probably still somehow is true).
So for now I've decided to;
Find out if there is a way to get (free)Therapy in my city
Send out job applications (and maybe study again)
Try to find out more about narcissism and maybe leave my mum
(maybe her behaviour changes as soon as I start working and studying again)
I thank you a lot for the time and advice, I really wish you all the best,
you can't imagine how much this thread helped me.
>>28791998
>>28792098
Yep totally photoshopped, I set my priorities straight,
started by photoshopping my arm instead of something more relevant.
>>28792253
accidentaly put >>28792098 in my previous reply, doesn't belong there.
>>28792253
yeah I don't know why you did it you dumb bitch don't ask me
>>28792367
>>28792437
but FYI you didn't match the background wall color
try harder next time
>>28792206
>I just assumed the reason for everything was me, that simply I was a failure (which probably still somehow is true).
needs two to tango. but you were groomed to have no self esteem, so can't really blame yourself.
now you know, you can be responsible for yourself if you really want to. and choose what you accept in your life.
>(maybe her behaviour changes as soon as I start working and studying again)
i would not count on that. but some things need to be learned through experience. be careful tho.
>I thank you a lot for the time and advice, I really wish you all the best
it's all natural.
also...
don't entertain abusive behavior ;)
haters gonna hate
See you, Op, do good. thank you too
>>28792437
How do you even see my arm there?
I guess you never heard of "perspective", my right arm is further behind,
but that would be too simple of an explanation, ofc I photoshopped my arm,
I also redefined my collarbones, I made all that effort just to post a censored picture of me online.
Now you got me.
But you know what? My Thread still got me the advice I needed, so it was worth it.
I'm really surprised, /r9k/. I would have expected a thread like this to be full of angry jerks. Instead, it's been a pretty nice thread and supportive. A complete opposite of what /r9k/ normally is. Maybe it's because OP's got a touching story and seems genuine. And that some people can relate.
>>28792098
>implying /r9k/ users would pay attention to actual advice
>>28792556
it's fine femwhore none of these white knights will bother questioning you
nothing to worry about I'll leave the thread after this
just letting you know that I know
our little secret I guess :')
>>28792676
it just happened in this very thread. are you blind?
>>28792615
1) because summerfags are here
2) /r9k/ is basically the same as the troll board /b/ minus the random porn
>>28792541
>i would not count on that.
I will still give her that chance, if her behaviour changes I wil stay in contact.
She did so much for me afterall. =)
>don't entertain abusive behavior ;)
>haters gonna hate
>See you, Op, do good. thank you too
I will try!
>>28792615
I honestly expected people to give me advice on how to kill myself (and maybe that's also what I wanted).
Now surprisingly I feel kinda motivated to change something.
This is also my last post here, I wish everyone all the best, >>28792686 even you anon, thanks for keeping my secret.
I'm going to get my life together now.
>>28792756
>She did so much for me afterall. =)
oh my.
stay vigilant.
remember: love is loving
>>28792756
hey, OP
a got a question for you.
on a scale of 1 to 10, how good is your sense of smell?
i know strange question. i hope you'll see my post
I imagine therapy is just more normie "bee urself" BS that you've heard a million times
>>28794448
A robot projecting his angry, bitter imagination onto the real world? Never seen that before!
