Making friends from /r9k/ is fucking pointless.
So many of you pretend you're so fucking alone and pathetic when in reality so many of you are Chads and have perfectly normie social lives while the rest of us are in psychiatric pain that we can't even achieve that.
What the fuck is the point. None of us will ever meet because so many of the summer fags that have come in here are fucking fake and stink up this board when the rest of us come here for comfort and to spew our feelsy and angry venom.
I fucking HATE NORMIES.
>>28784082
you're a big guy.
for you :)
unless you have a funnier greentext than that mopy bullshit, why don't you just leave?
pls be my frie dnd
I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me.
first, you need to find an isolated area so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread.
My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit.
Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet.
You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird.
This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences.
I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city. Either way I haven't done it in years but still catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds, cock throbbing and waiting for them to land close by me.
>>28784082
>pretend
I don't.
I'm a fucking normie reeee
I'd love to be your friend, though, bro.
What are you interested in?
>>28784082
>psychiatric pain
Oy gevalt. Yes, goy, psychiatrics are a totally legitimate field of medicine.
>>28784143
im playing overwatch atm
>>28784082
OP, one of the "secrets" to success (please forgive the cliche/overused phrase) is by surrounding yourself by people you want to be like. Obviously this isn't a hard truth, but do you really want to be friends only with people who have no other friends? Also that is literally not possible since you'll now have a friend and so will they.
le no true scotsman
lmao
>>28784164
The guys I play rocket league with are talking about buying it, but I'm really not sure. Is it good? Will it be fun for more than two weeks?
I was in a chat where one of the guys with a longtime gf started talking about how he hates normies
it just made me cringe because no one really gets it
>>28784226
the pain.....
it always gets worse....
>>28784082
end your life pls
>tfw I lie to robots about how pathetic I am on here when in real life I'm perfectly normal
>>28784340
>>28784159
these /pol/ under-15yo normies are the fucking worst.
they come in here like they own the place, spew their cancer, and tell actual robots to kill themselves.
>>28784373
kill yourself faggot
im 26
>>28784566
Then you're the fucking worst of them.
>26 years old
>still this fucking mental
Please I just want people to talk to
I think making friends in general is pointless. It's only resulted in people taking advantage of me and me having to do sacrifice time/emotional support/whatever for people that barely give a rat's ass about me. I am just done trying. Everyone just wants something from me and all I want is to be by myself now
>Making friends
Stopped reading here.
>>28784855
>actually condemning someone for wanting to be normal instead of a shut in
Holy Fuck. Just when I thought this board couldn't be more fucked.
>>28784082
I literally go outside like once a month or to buy something
Ive socialized with a group of friends years ago
That was probably the peak of a normie life ;_;
>>28785000
well I didn't mean I meet these people in person..
they're always internet friends.
