who here /no enjoyment in life/?
>>28782171
>woke up
>ate
>thought about doing things
>just lied in bed all day instead
yeah i guess. today might as well not have happened. i wish i could do things.
I feel like at some point a fog came over my life. I'm not exactly depressed, but it's like one day nothing was as vivid anymore. Like I'm watching a movie of my life play out on a screen.
>no friends
>no gf
>no hope of a good job
>just 4chan
>even that doesn't make me happy anymore
All I do is look forward to the weekend when I can buy some booze and stop thinking.
>>28782171
I can't find joy in anything anymore. The boredom is so bad I have to drink to keep it away. During the middle of the day I get so bored I go on long walks to try and keep myself occupied, so I guess at least it's helping my physical health a little bit.
>Tfw your life is a Gray blob of repetition
>tfw NEET
>Tfw no education and no job history
>tfw fell like a boat at sea, tossed around by waves, unable to right or direct myself
I don't know why I bother to stay alive
I know those feels.
I realize that I never really enjoyed life because I was always waiting for the time it would get better like everyone says it does.
I grew up poor, had shitty parents, went to a school full of wannabe thugs and whores, never had any decent people to call "friends".
At 17 both my parents were in jail. I had to live in a homeless shelter for young adults because I was too old to be in an orphanage. That was the only environment I ever considered more toxic than home and school. I kept going.
Because the only people I could look up to at the time, my teachers, told me it would get better. That all the hard work I put in in my life will turn into success. I was supposed to have a future, at least they made me believe so. Guess what happened after graduation.
I spent my whole childhood working hard thinking I would be enjoying life as an adult. I'm still waiting for what I was promised.
>>28782171
>Video games were always my crutch when Iwas lonely
>Haven't beaten a video game since..
Jesus Christ.. it's been so long.. Why aren't they fun anymore? Life right now is just autopilot.
I keep telling myself a girlfriend would make me happier, since I would actually have a friend, have motivation to do shit, Maybe go to the gym to get fit in fear of losing her.. be more social and shit.
But nah, I'm an ugly robot with a horrid face, and look like I still belong in highschool. (Short, baby face)
I hate my life.
My life is less despair and more like the emptiness left behind when despair has moved on. Just blank apathy, sadness, and occasional conversation. I can't bring myself to end it, but I can't bring myself to change my life either. I can't make friends. I work from home and have class two days a week for two hours per session. Other than that, I have no social interaction or hobbies. It's not even that I have no friends or warmth or interests, I just feel like I have an inherent sadness that can't be filled. So I've stopped trying to fill it, in hopes that I'll find myself through introspection. But when it comes down to it, I'm just making things worse by refusing to distract myself with people and activities. Everything around is just so terrifying and chaotic, I live in fear that I can't accept.
>tfw coping mechanisms are beginning to fail.
I think I'm nearing death
Nothing makes me excited but I don't really feel depressed
>>28782613
this
sleep was usually mine until i started having extremely fucked up dreams. sometimes i would also dream that my life was great. now i', afraid of going to sleep.
>>28782665
>sometimes i would also dream that my life was great.
That's the worst the moment you wake up an realize it was just a dream.
I've got mild anhedonia. Everything is grey, jokes don't make me laugh, food is blah, etc. In experimenting with diet, exercise, and habits I've found a few things that seem to help.
1- stop jerking it
2- force myself into new/unfamiliar situations
3- meditation
4- pick a project that I work on every day to have a sense of forward progress on something
The trouble is that feeling of weakness and apathy that makes me want to just crawl under the covers and stay there. Momentum is a powerful force though, once these actions become habits I can keep them up for months at a time before I crack and slip back into the grey again.
>>28782171
Right here famalam.
I might take the last decision of my life today. I'm not sure yet, but I don't seem to find anything that makes it worth to stay alive.
And no, I will not kill some chads like a fucking sociopath. I will take the faggy way and swallow as much clonazepam as I can.
>>28782413
>So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Fitzgerald was speaking to you.
>tfw parents paying my bills
>tfw no summer classes because already scheduled fall/winter and then I'm graduated
>tfw no job and unemployed since april
>tfw panicking, contemplate suicide every day to relieve my parents of the burden
H E L P
>>28783151
>H E L P
There's no help for people like us
>>28782722
That's called depression what you describe you tard
text on an imageboard
>>28782413
>tfw these feels at 27
I've had depression and apparently PTSD from the age of 12, diagnosed.
I'm in my mid 20's, went through the suicide attempts, extreme loneliness and misery, existentialist crisis, finding my own meaning, got my life back on track. Jumped through so many hoops to try and just live.
I am just frustratingly bored by life now. I don't care about anything. I simply don't care. Nothing interests me or motivates me to keep living, nothing causes emotional reactions, even moral ones, I still read, pursue my interests, watch stuff, but they're just the time sinks I've adjusted to.
I'm not a stoic, a misanthrope, a nihilist or anything. I'm indifferent, I'm just living and doing, and I'd simply rather not be.
Something is broken. I just want to die in my sleep and go.
tthere is no hope
>>28782171
>be me
>college student and failing
>only study, shitpost and play games all day
>feel sad for seeing chad and normie dudes with their happy lives
>after years finally come in terms with being a social outcast and manage to get motivation for studying again
>suddently get to know this tumblirina who play cs with some internet dudes I know
>talk to her a lot one night, she even sent me tits
>now can't focus on anything besides getting her attention all the time
>now I want to be a normie because female attention feels so fucking good
When does it end
>>28782171
>one chance at life
>be 5'4
>always fucking miserable
I want lanklets and women to die
my problem is that im almost always horribly sad and hopeless, but i still have a small glimmer of hope that things may be better. like sometimes ill be walking around outside and appreciate it, or walking around at night and seeing everyone be social, and thinking that maybe, possibly, one day i could be a part of that.
>>28784293
fuck off
l
>tfw have a gf
>tfw have apart-timejob
>still sad as fuck all the time and i'll be on depression meds soon
I don't know what to do lads, even videogames bore me now. I can't enjoy anything
>>28782413
no txt here
>>28782539
nah, a gf wouldnt really make you happy. It's true what they say, that you should only get gf to enhance an already nice life. if you use a gf as a crutch to happiness, she'll likely leave you sooner or later
>>28784029
have you read Camus' Myth of Sisyphus?
>>28783626
That's so cliche it hurts.
Most of you seem to complain about wanting your life to be different, but not doing anything to change it.
>>28786173
This is our curse
We have the knowledge that something is terribly wrong but we are too weak to change it
>>28786173
uh....big....biiiiig...BIIIIGG!!
>*farts*
..........STINKY!! STINKY BIG GUY FOR YOU!!!!!!!
POOP!!!!!!!
AHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHH FUNNY POOPIES!!!!!!!!!!!
XD ELELELELELELELEL PPPPPPPOOOOO
DOO DOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAH
AHAHAH
AHAHAHA FUNNY POOP! POOP FUNNY! DOODY WEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY FOR POOPIE! GOOD POOPY HAHAHAHAHAH ! AHAH XDDD
DDDDDDD
DDDDDDD
DDDDD POOP POOP POOP POOP POOP POOP POOP POOP POOP
POOP POOP POOP POOP POOP POOP POOP
UH OH< THINK I MADE A POOPIE :^)^)^)^)^))^)^:^)^:^)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHGoHOUHHOIHOIAHAHHAHHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
POOP IN PANTS! NO DIAPER! THAT'S FUNNY! XD
OOPSIE! POOPY UNDERWEAR NOW! TEE HEE TEE HEE TEE HEE TEE HEE TEE HEE TEE HEE TEE HEE TEE HEE TEE HEE TEE HEE TEE HEE TEE HEE TEE HEE
>>28786276
Then don't complain. Complaining seems to bring you enjoyment and therefore making your primary issue void.
>>28786333
Is this a roonroon thread now?
ROONROON MADE A POOPOO
>>28786411
The question is, why do some people fix their lives and some don't?
>>28786276
What a faggot thing to say
>>28786062
No, I've only read The Stranger.
From what I've read Camus can hit the nail on the head with existentialism but that isn't really my issue.
>>28786457
hurr le stronk anon, JUST MAN UP ARGGGGG SO TOUGH ARGHHHH FAGGOT, I stronk bbuuuuaaaarghhhh
