Let's ask each other job interview questions, bonus points if you can give specific examples.
I'll start. How do you deal with stress?
>>28779973
By leaving or avoiding whatever causes it
I internalize it, foster it, nurture it into a panic
When it seeps poison, I spread it, bathe in it, I watch it grow into something beautiful
Drawing beauty not from grace, but from chaos
Thoughts of destruction guide my hands
Bringing death and destruction upon my enemies
Only then will the world know what sleeps inside my heart
>>28779973
Workplace violence.
Mmm interesting.
*scribbles on notepad while frowning*
And what's your greatest weakness?
>>28780125
That I don't want to be around other human beings for any reason
>>28780056
>>28780079
>>28780096
next question. Time management.
How do you prioritise what's important. How do you efficiently manage your time.
sorry I'm late, I can't park if I think anyone is watching me, nice shirt
>>28779973
>How do you deal with stress?
I handle it in the worst way possible for the types of fucking labor jobs I work: I have to completely walk away for at least like 10-15 minutes before trying again...since no supervisor is cool enough to let me do that on company time, what ends up happening is I get more stressed, get ridiculously angry, and fuck up progressively worse because I can't focus cos I couldn't take a short break from the thing aggrevating me.
I then hold in all the frustration, and proceed to do an extremely mediocre job of my work due to my stress/depression/anger, then I get fired within 4 months of having been hired.
>>28780056
This.
By avoiding the question
>>28780149
I put off everything as much as I can, then I either rush the shit out of it right before it needs to be done, or just say "Fuck it" and not do it at all.
>>28780149
The most pressing things go first, and then the rest as there's time for it. I like to use lists for the most part to keep things organized
I always show up early and get nervous about being late
>>28780149
I have a color coded microsoft excel document where I split the day into 72 20 minute blocks.
I assign these blocks to tasks based on a myriad of factors (time required, urgency, special circumstances etc.) and complete them as planned. At the end of each day I have a 20 minute meeting with myself to discuss how the system is going and what could be done to improve efficiency.
>>28780149
I push things off til the very last second, but I end up somehow doing a ridiculously good job at whatever I'm doing when I'm panicking.
When I ration out my time, I get lazy and do halfass work.
>>28780188
>>28780214
>>28780231
>>28780236
>>28780300
What are you passionate about? What gets you excited or captures your interest.
>>28780358
Spending my time on a Polynesian Scrimshaw kabal
>>28780358
Mugi-chan and Mugi-chan related images
>>28780358
Honestly nothing about real life. I feel more alive watching a good TV show or a Japanese cartoon than anything real life has to offer, so escapism is my answer
>>28780397
>>28780399
>>28780406
What's your most proudest personal achievement so far?
>>28780358
beauty. I feel it is both coveted and despised, it endears and alarms people. I spend a lot of time banging hookers and in pursuit of this goal, only to realize again and again that the hookers I get are never beautiful by even the most generous interpretation.
>>28780358
I get interested in almost anything in short and completely unpredictable spurts, and I guarantee I'll never be interested in the thing I need to be interested in until well after its no longer necessary.
>>28780448
I don't really have one. I don't take pride thing I do, they're just things I have to do so I can go do what I want to do (watch Japanese cartoons)
>>28780448
In sixth grade I got the highest score on a spelling test
>>28780448
Um..uh... PASS!
>>28780454
>>28780463
>>28780471
>>28780479
Have you ever had to form a close relationship with someone. How would do so in a professional setting?
>>28780505
That's okay, we'll move on to the next question. We can come back to it later if you want.
>>28780522
y-yeah totalIy
>>28780522
I wouldn't form a close relationship in a professional setting because that's unprofessional.
I'll be polite and do whatever I need to do, and if we have similar interests we'll talk about them, but that's as far as it'll go
>>28780522
Yes easy, you just put your peepee in her vagine.
>>28779973
>how do you deal with stress?
propanalol
>>28780557
Well anon, some roles require our staff to form a professional rapport with the clients. We believe good business is all about relationships.
>>28780522
I'd find out where they live by checking out their pay stub on friday before anyone else gets there. From here I would go on to learn their off hour routine and see if I can gleam any insight into their personality -- hobbies, friends, family etc. Having established who I'm dealing with I'd probably hover around them without saying anything and hoping they'd start the conversation. If they did I'd spend more time casing their home and determining whether I had to start to create violent fantasies about their SO's and just play it by ear from there on. A sly compliment about any of their qualities may or may not get peppered into blursts of speech.
>>28780587
Rapport is not close relationships. I've been to a few people's deathbeds, their coworkers and ex-bosses were not there. So unless you're going to be there when I die, cut out the cute corporate buzzwords and realize that what you're talking about and reality are two different things
>>28780587
Wait what exactly does this job entail? The bathroom ad was pretty vague.
>>28780610
Well it was a pleasure to meet you anon. Good luck on your endeavours. *shakes hand and smiles*
>>28780631
Whatever you'd like, we are a multinational conglomerate. You could join our sales team, our development team or our administration team. We are very well verse here at YourFuture Inc.
>>28780668
I think you're implying that I'm going to accept the handshake in the first place
>>28780710
>turns 360 degrees
>keeps walking
>>28780752
>reports you to HR for bumping into a prospective employee
>>28780399
you're hired, when can you start?
>>28780801
>implying corpses can report people
If anyone is still interested the next question is.
Tell me about a time when you've been in a conflict situation and how you dealt with it.
>>28780895
I avoid them, because it really just comes down to who has the most power in a situation
>>28780895
>insert clever lie made up on the spot right here
>>28780895
Trick question, i dont get in comflicted situations because I am not an idiot. Whenever somebody is killed i think,
good just natural selection working like its supposed to
>>28780988
smart move, an interview isn't about honesty. Its about selling yourself. Why yes, I am as great as I'll make you believe.
>>28780895
cryptic. death. threats.
>>28780895
*unheeths katana*
>>28779973
I pretend everything is fine and keep doing the same thing until circumstances force a change.
>>28780941
>>28781014
So you've never been in an argument with anyone? Maybe a family member, or a cashier, a stranger in public? We are trying to gauge how you handle situations where there may be anger from yourself or another party. How do you defuse or handle such a situations.
>>28781120
>So you've never been in an argument with anyone?
only people who are wrong get into arguments. I am >>28781014
>>28781150
>only people who are wrong get into arguments
>is a false statement
A-HA!
Get the fuck out and don't come back until you have a GED
Next Question:
If you fuck up the microwave in the break room, how likely are you to even attempt a clean up while the shit is still a hot liquid, as opposed to say a hardened burnt mess?
>>28781054
*unzips dick*
ogirinol
>>28781216
notice how you started an argument? That is because you're an idiot, and I am not so good bye.shrekt lol!
>>28781303
well played, should have grabbed that talent while I had the chance
>>28781120
I don't argue in public, I'm very cognizant that other people will see it and judge you and anything you're associated with it by a public blow-up.
Arguing like you do with family will never happen in the workplace because family has a lifetime of built-in stuff that work doesn't.
I've literally never been in an argument with a cashier or someone working somewhere. If they screw up or don't know something, I just move on and find someone who does know whatever it is I need.
>>28781359
>not being perfectly content with expressing your politically correct opinions
what are you some kind of racist? get out
>>28781478
I have no idea what this means or what this is getting at
>>28781120
I try to be as polite and inoffensive as possible so I don't put myself in a position to argue with anyone, what would I argue about?
>>28781584
only racists/bigots are afraid of expressing their opinions
>>28781608
only a sith deals in absolutes
except... except for that one
>>28781608
I don't trust other human beings, so I'd prefer they know as little about me as possible, I don't care so much about angrily shouting my opinions
>Can you explain this one year gap in your resume?
>>28781850
>1 year
I think I'm up to 14 now if you assume I could've worked at 16
>>28781850
is it a crime to be a bon vivant or a man of means?
what... what is this the fucking Nuremberg trials or something?
I was recovering from and descending into alcoholism and volunteering with a now defunct organization. Wow, I bet you feel like a dick.
>>28781850
Well I've been in school since a young age and been in the work force for the last 8 years without any breaks. Most people tend to take a gap year off after year 12, I just took mine a bit later. I guess it was to celebrate graduating from college, during my year off I treated myself to an overseas trip travelling to japan and parts of asia. I started a small side business buying and reselling goods online, contacted suppliers from alibaba and just trying to resell them online. I wanted some entrepreneurial experience working for myself. I don't think its for me. And I got my very kitten during that year as well. So I made the most of my time off best I could.
>>28781914
What are you doing that lets you live that long without a job/
>>28782240
Parents ofc
>>28782240
You can steal a living. People won't give you a living, but they'll (half) tolerate you stealing one. If you can't pay then, okay, just take it.
