![Un homme qui dort - 1974 - Bernard Queysanne.avi_snapshot_00.06.15_[2016.01.08_15.33.51].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/Ky82DTF.jpg "Un homme qui dort - 1974 - Bernard Queysanne.avi_snapshot_00.06.15_[2016.01.08_15.33.51].jpg")
>tfw waiting for all degenerate drugs to clear my system before offing myself so to save my parents another layer of disappointment
>tfw each month I tell myself another lie just to avoid the inevitable suicide
You need to seek help mi amigo.
>>28772941
No, I need death.
>>28772677
Congratulations!
You've figured out the key to surviving crushing suicidal depression-- Ride out the storm. Another day. Another hour-- Every minute spent surviving is a small victory. Maybe life will never be all that great.
But finding a semblance of peace and acceptance in yourself is the ultimate victory. This peace means nothing if you're not alive to register it, to witness it unfold inside yourself.
I'm 36 and a chronic depressive. I've had to deal with it since the age of 12.
I didn't think I'd make it this far, but I'm glad. I'm even in pain right now as we speak. But it's nothing compared to desolation, terror, and loneliness of those final moments-- loading that shotgun or dangling from that rope.
I keep that loaded shotgun in the next room as a reminder. I never unloaded it that night. I keep it as the cold reminder of what those final moments are like--
by far the worst moments of my life. and like most, I've had some real shitty moments.
>>28772957
>another layer of disappointment
kek.
Disappointment doesn't even begin to describe the pain your death will bring.
Grief is the gift that keeps on giving.
>>28773190
They will balance their life out somehow eventually.
I'm living in complete indifference with a touch of misery. I want out. don't care that it's selfish, but I'll do my best to make it less painful for them.
