Mental illness general. Discuss your issues here. I have a story from yesterday and I was hoping someone could help me figure of why I did this...
>schizoaffective disorder
>BPD
>home alone yesterday
>walk downstairs and notice a bunny in my backyard just sitting there
>just for fun, I go and grab my semi-automatic metal BB handgun
>open the downstairs patio door and aim the gun at it to see if it would be spooked
>instead, it doesn't move
>suddenly, I decide to shoot at it for fun
>my BB connects with its abdomen
>I wasn't really aiming for it, just near it
>notice that it's on its side now squirming
>out of curiosity, I walk through the door and approach it
>decide that I should put it out of its misery
>instead of shooting it again, I grab it's leg
>it's still squirming, and I'm overcome with curiosity
>bend it's leg the wrong way and hear a snap
>my heart is racing, this is very exciting
>grab the bunny by its abdomen and tear it's entire leg off with the other hand
>bunny begins convulsing it appears
>quickly run around the house and into the garage and grab a hammer
>come back to see the bunny is still alive, but bleeding a lot and convulsing
>take the hammer and smash it's head repeatedly until it's a bloody pulp and it stops moving
>overcome with excitement and satisfaction
>don't know what to do, so I just throw the bunny's remains in the middle of the street by my house so other people can see what I did
Could anyone shed some light on what made this so satisfying and exciting? I've never done anything like this before. Is it related to one of my mental issues?
kill yourself cunt
og
The humble beginnings of a serial killer
>>28768004
I should add that I have very strong desires to kill happy looking people, but that's just because I'm covetous of their happiness. I don't think I would actually do it though. I told my psychiatrist and he said it's fine to think those thoughts if you don't act on them.
Got an appointment for the psych-man tomorrow.
> tfw you have to wait 2 months, although you're classified as an "emergency case"
>>28767947
Doctors are taking me off olanzapine for anxiety, paranoia and delusions and putting me on an anti depressant to treat the anxiety, can't remembers it's name starts with an s because they now believe I have GAD and a psycho active type illness; anyway any of you guys transitioned from anti psychotics to anti depressants?
>>28768236
You should probably not kill anymore small animals too.
If you continue down this path, you'll seek bigger and better highs when killing animals no longer does anything for you, then end up murdering a person.
>>28768341
I'm on olanzapine too. Gonna be off it by september.
>>28767947
Are you genuinely 14, you sound like an edgy teenager, unless you timestamp a picture of a dead animal I'm calling bullshit on your entire story
OP here again. Pic related is my quaker parrot coco. I would never hurt him because I love him more than any living thing in this world by a longshot. I'm definitely not a sociopath because people have told me that I am very kind and charismatic. However, I did punch my last friend in the face because he was harassing my bird. Nobody will dare mess with him. He is my fluffy baby.
>>28768369
>If you continue down this path, you'll seek bigger and better highs when killing animals no longer does anything for you, then end up murdering a person.
He might not. I used to enjoy doing shit like shit, but I grew out of it after a certain point. Then again I never really enjoyed killing. The hunt was the only fun part for me.
>>28768425
I killed it yesterday, so no timestamp. I'm 19.
>>28768341
OP here. I have been on 7 medications, and it finally took me to be in the psych ward for them to put me on a high quality one: latuda. It has really helped my paranoia and Delusions. I also have no Hallucinations any more. I would highly reccomend it.
fuck you op
i'm schizophrenic and i don't do shit like that. this isn't about mental illness, you're just an edgy asshole
>>28768447
But people with mental illness are different. They don't think the same as you. OP should stop. Most of serial killers started torturing animals and they found satisfaction in it. Then they moved to killing people they envy or hate.
>>28768473
>I'm 19.
You're legitimately still in your edgy teenage phase, nothing to worry about you'll outgrow it
>>28768433
Sociopaths can have empathy
>>28768641
I never had these desires during my early teens, and that is when you're supposed to be an edgelord. They just yesterday when I killed the rabbit.
>>28768707
Really? I thought the point was that they couldn't experience empathy.
>>28768883
Seriously you're just going through an edgy phase don't sweat it kid
>>28768908
>Don't sweat it, kid
