Around what age did you start to become depressed?
Do you remember any specific event that started everything, or did you just kinda slowly fade into a depressed state?
>>28765462
I've been having progressing depression since 13 (that's about 11 years for now) but without any reason. I've been having extremely down period around 16-17 year but now it's only apathetic state where i dont want to exist but dont have guts to off myself.
>>28765548
Did you ever go to a doctor?
>>28765565
Twice but for short period. When i was 16 i went for couple of times because i couldnt afford it. Second time for unknown reason doctor refused to treat me.
>>28765590
Why don't you just get your blood tested for vitamin levels and all that stuff?
I was diagnosed with depression at age 11. They said depression in children manifests as irritability instead of a low mood.
I'm not sure what caused it, my parents divorced when I was 7, my childhood friend died of cancer around the same time and we moved away from the neighborhood I grew up in so I had to leave all of the friends I made there. I started fixating on death and would lie awake at night envisioning the infinite blackness, not being able to sleep.
>>28765707
Do you know what your IQ is?
Or your personality type? (I'm talking about those INTP, INTJ etc)
>>28765707
You say that i might have some deficiency? You think that for all those years i've been missing something?
>>28765707
I'm not trying to offend you but you have a reason for depression while i have depression but i dont know why. I've come from stable, good family but still no explanation.
>>28765739
I had an official IQ test when I was a kid, it was 120-something. When I take those personality tests I usually get INFJ, why?
>>28765792
INFJ - other people affect you too much. You're like a sponge who takes surrounding mood into yourself. No wonder that divorce affected you that much.
>>28765768
Yes, I am saying that you might have some deficiency.
I went to a doctor to get my depression treated, and one of the first things he did was check for any kind of deficiency.
I needed a lot of vitamins and he wanted me to start taking some vitamin pills. They didn't really help though
>>28765849
How did doctor help you?
>>28765871
He put me on fluoxetine, which didn't help at all.
He also prescribed me some quetiapine for when I was really feeling down.
All they did was make me feel like a complete zombie.
>>28765897
So nothing helped in the end?
>>28765949
No, after a while I just stopped going to the appointments and all that.
Then after a few years I started to become more and more of a shut-in and I lost all my friends.
>>28765462
Depressions started when I was 15-16
Social anxiety started when I was 14
>>28765462
Around 13 -14
Started getting really bad acne in school which wasn't too bad but I also got eczema around my nose, which only got worse and spread to my forehead and chin. Saw countless dermotologists and took alot of different things.
Made me a really easy target in school for bullying, so I got into alot of fights and started to really hate people and going outside. Became alot more reclusive, exercised alot less got alot heavier.
Never developed social skills much, had zero chance with girls, turn 30 in september and I still struggle with my skin though it's alot ALOT better than when I was younger. I still haven't dropped all the extra weight but I've been trying.
Hopeless with women still, I think I really got a raw deal when I was younger and it's pretty much slain any confidence building early relationships give you.
I expect I'll probs be alone for the rest of my time but at least i'm alot happier with myself these days.
>>28765994
Going to doctors is a waste then?
>>28765821
Yeah those events probably had a domino effect. Move to a new school, kids pick up on the obvious insecurity that I displayed and must have figured I was an easy target. I had a hard time making new friends for a few years so that's when my parents started seeking treatment. I was treated with medication for ADHD as well as antidepressants later. I made new friends with the help of my teachers, I remained friends with one of these kids even to this day(he has a similar story but he grew up in a much worse home environment and was self-harming at a pretty young age and narrowly survived a suicide attempt) my grades were excellent, I was participating in extracurricular activities and everything. When I reached high school I opted to stop taking the medication, most of my friends "abandoned" me, my development started lagging and I was the only one who never got into a relationship, I stopped caring about school and ended up dropping out.
it was always lingering there but the event that triggered it was when a very embarrasing photo of me surfaced on facebook and became quite popular among my circle. upon asking it to be removed and being told no, i deleted my facebook and became a recluse, stopped going to school and became a NEET for 5 years. inb4 normieproblems
>>28766098
Not for everybody.
Just didn't help me much
Except for those anti-psychotic zombie pills. I'd snort one every once in a while when I was bored.
>>28766154
>inb4 normieproblems
Previous contact with other humans doesn't make you a normie, man.
Everybody has talked to other people and had friends (or at least had a couple of people they'd talk to occasionally).
>>28766139
>I opted to stop taking the medication
Why dont you take medication now? It sure helped you in the past.
>>28766273
In retrospect yeah it seems like they did help me. I stopped taking them because I believed what I read online about SSRI's being dangerous, about them being no more effective than a placebo, etc.
I'm supposed to be starting college soon, maybe I should try them again?
>>28766392
You should give it a try, i mean college might be a fresh new start from this hellhole. You could still turn your life around.
>>28766392
Psy meds are different for everyone
You might have to try a few before you find one that works(I needed 3 tries)
If no meds are working there might be a chance that you have treatment resistant depressions
SSRIs are more effective than placebos otherwise they wouldn't be used
They can have really bad side effects, but you should try a different one if one makes your stomach bleed
Most of the time they just kill your genitals and your libido
>>28765462
I think I first began to slightly realise how inferior and pathetic I was when I entered into secondary school and got bullied by Chads.
Over the course of secondary school, it kind of got drilled into my head more and more, but I still had a little confidence in myself and thought I would grow out of it.
Then I discovered the internet, and through that I discovered that people hated me on a deep, fundamental level for existing, which didn't really help.
Then I started getting deeper into puberty and noticing that girls wanted nothing to do with me, which also didn't help.
By the time I went into sixth form, I was pretty down on myself, and sixth form would be around the time where I would genuinely say I became actually depressed. I ate less, sstarted falling behind in my studies, only wanted to play games and engage in over forms of escapism and had no friends.
I got better when I left sixth form and went to uni because there were people who I actually felt I had stuff in common with there and they liked me back, but I think the damage has been done to my self-esteem and character.
I'm entrenched in self-loathing, insecurity and misery and I don't think I can pull myself out of it now.
I don't want to do therapy because I don't like the idea of someone delving around inside of my head. I don't ask girls out even when I think they like me because I don't feel like I deserve them. I toss and turn in bed for ages before I can finally get to sleep and I masturbate almost obsessively. The only thing that makes me feel better is hanging with my friends, hiring prostitutes and doing stand-up comedy, and even then I just feel empty when it's all over.
That's the worst part: the emptiness.
When my dad started doing heroin and cocaine. He's also an alcoholic.
It has got worse since I've graduated high school and can't find even a basic min. wage job
>>28765462
I was diagnosed at 16, but my Doctor told me that based on the description I gave him of my childhood and my medical history it's likely I started showing symptoms of depression when I was 8.
I'm 19 now, survived a suicide attempt, I'd do it again and do it properly this time but seeing what it did to my family was awful and it wouldn't want to put them through it again and have it be that much worse. I'm also an alcoholic and have found myself incapable of finding a job. I hope I die soon.
>>28765462
I was still in elementary school and we were doing a unit about what it meant to live in a community. I remember thinking I don't want to live with any of these people, they're all loud obnoxious faggots.
Been the same ever since then.
It probably started when I was around 14. I fell hopelessly in love with a girl that was really nice to me at the time, when basically everyone else made fun of me. But being the autist I am, I didn't do anything about it. I just watched her from a distance and occasionally talked to her.
Later found out she liked me quiet a bit too, but not necessarily in the romantic sense.
This goes on for 5 more years, watch her fall in love, get dumped, fall in love again, get boyfriend. And I get more and more depressed. In the last year of HS, a friend dragged me to a psychotherapist and I got on meds.
I won't go into details, but I did some nasty stuff to her in the last semester, kind of a tragic story, because she put me in a bad spot too. In the end, decide to never meet again after graduation.
This is now almost exactly 6 years ago, she apparently married her boyfriend, and I don't even know what I saw in her anymore. All that remains now, is the pain of something that was never meant to be, and regret about the things I did.
Pic related is now my waifu, how far I've come...
I began being depressed when I was 8 years old; this stemmed from developing an inferiority complex due to being a poorfag. I've never been one to stand up for myself so even if I was rich I would probably have just barely gotten by without developing depression.
11 years old. I'm 30 now.
Been on meds since 13. On and off, but consisistantly every day since about 2009. Every day I'm poppin' them pills!
I get down as fuuuuck when I am not on meds. I've had serious problems and there's a high chance I shouldn't be here today, but I am and that's all that matters.
MEDS! The hurt never goes away, but the meds will help if you're on the right ones. The key is to get in good with the doc, therapy, group, anything for your mental health.
If anybody wants to talk, I might be ITT for a while...
>>28768666
The feels man, I had the same shit coupled up with my mum having diagnosed with lung cancer at the same time. The girl friendzoned me so hard that I lost all my confidence, and turned me into my current state of using alcohol and cigarette, yeah I know that still isn't cocaine and crack and things like that, but for me it already wastes my time... During these times I cryed almost every night, even if I was a nearly grown up man... I hated myself so bad for being fooled by a girl who probably didn't even deserved my attention, but she made it look like she cared, while actually she didn't even give an fucking hoot about me or my feelings. Her so called friends made fun of me running after her that I turned away from real people and did fucking nothing. I wish this fate to nobody, even my worst enemies.
>>28769311
Yes I can relate, but your mom having lung cancer makes it even worse. May better times come !
>>28768830
Meds are good and all, I take them myself for nearly a decade now, but they numb you emotionally (wich can be a good thing). Lately some research has shown that you can achieve the same effect with positive life style changes. Those usually lasted longer and didn't become remissive as often. Meds are good for very heavy cases, though.
Woah my story compared to most of yours is nothing. Have 4 or 5 really good friends two parents and a younger brother(have good realationship with him). When I was 11 my mom took me to a doctor because i was playing too much video games and not playing too much with other kids I din't have depression at the time. At 14-16 I had a really bad "phase" I even tried weed (and still do sometimes cuz one of my friends does) just to impress a girl that finally turned me down, I was a really edgy kid. I think I might be depressed now (19 yo) but it also may be that I am a huge crybaby. I think of death often and have since i was 11
>>28765462
> be me, 9, great kid, good grades, lotsa friends
> mother dying of cancer, begging doctors for death
> she dies, father gets depressed, dontunderstand.png, was only 9
> be me, 12
> understand father mental state
> realize how short he is of killing himself
> constantly think about the he can kill himself and I may be left alone, sent to government institution
> take care of home, shopping, cooking, still best student in class
> be me, 14
> obsession mode activated, can't stop thinking about father suicidal thoughts and actions
> start dropping off school to take care of him
> can't stop thinking about mother, can't forget her ruined state, her addiction to morphine
> slowly succumb into depression
When I was 16 I had grey hair and my teachers took notice of my state. I am 24 now and I feel I am just a broken toy beyond repair.
>>28770815
Same guy. Also my father used to drink when I was 11 but he caught it when I was 17
+ >>28770828
You make me feel bad for even posting in this thread
Started around the age of 7 I believe. First time I seriously considered suicide was 12.
>>28770893
Me again *stoped it
>>28765462
>age 4 grandma leaves me and goes back to her home country because I am grown up
>age 5 try to play with girls
>eeewww anon you are ugly
>age 6 grand father dies, the only one who actually taught me anything
>age 7 teachers tell me not to fight or bite others who are hitting me for whatever reason
>age 8 teacher tell me that I shouldn't laugh because I am disgusting
After that I gave hope on humanity.
>>28765462
>>28770932
>Never had gf
>Have no friends
Why live.
At the age of 7 I developed severe depression and suicidal thoughts. I've spent most my life in my room, hospital wards and psychologists.
This and a collection of other things fucked my entire life. I never made it to Uni or Tafe.
I don't plan on staying around much longer. I just want of this ride.
>>28765462
About 20, maybe when I was 19 still.
Been going strong since then for over five years. I'm worried I'll end up in an institution cos I can't seem to do what everybody seems to do every day without that big of a problem.
