Does anyone else feel like being alone has become so ingrained within your identity that you practically can't imagine yourself in a relationship?
Nope. All I can think about is being whisked away. Not by a human, though. Humans are capricious and uncertain of themselves and what surrounds them.
I can't imagine myself in a relationship with anyone I have ever met, that's what I'll leave it at. But I think there are curiously different humans out there who could show me something I never knew I could believe. And if not, well, there has to be something else.
>>28761754
iktf OP
I don't even know what I'd do with a gf at this point, so much of my time is spent alone that I feel like i wouldn't be able to entertain them
the relationship would be 100% them forcing me to do stuff
>>28761754
That's what I believed until I got in a relationship.
>>28761754
Pretty much. I've accepted it, it's second nature now. Even the idea of intimacy is strange and intimidating. At the same time it feels weird. I feel weird not being able to do something that's so commonplace for regular people. I feel like some kind of alien that doesn't belong. Opposite of a special snowflake.
>>28761754
yes actually
i went on a date once (and only once) and being with someone was a real struggle for me even simple things like walking around as a pair and stuff
>most robots fantasize about getting a gf and leading a relatively normal life
>been fucked up for so long that all of that seems alien to me
>don't even see a point in it anymore
I don't understand why or how I'm still alive. I don't know what I'm even living for.
But we're all gonna make it, right?
Sort of. I think I lack the capacity to actually trust and want to be around someone in a living situation like that and not think about leaving all the time. I definitely don't trust them when I'm not around. Don't think it'd really work any way long term.
>>28761754
This senpaitachi.
All of the figures I identify with, my favourite literature, etc., all of it builds on this identity as a mentally disturbed loner.
Sometimes I wonder what I'd do if things got better. I don't want to be a fraud.
