>the government bugged my ps4 controllers again
>tfw the government reinstalled the brainwave transceiver in my inner ear
>tfw have to scratch it out with a needle all over again
Fuck those guys
>Uncle Jimbo found the poop swatches
>>28761343
>NSA activated the urethra cam
>sister found the semen brick
>ski instructor found the mucus maracas
I honestly don't even know where to start when I think about posting in these threads
>>28761414
>look around room
>spot an object
>imagine object filled with some kind of bodily secretion
>then imagine anyone you're related to finding it
>>28761343
>tfw smoking weed in my back yard and I hear the feds rustling around in my bushes in the dark
One of these days they are going to make the arrest. In the mean time they seem to be doing surveillance on me to gather evidence for my arrest. I can always tell when there are feds around, there is a shiver in my spine and that's when I know I am being watched. The shadows in the corner of your eyes you see? The feds.
>Teacher found the smegma bottle
>>28761429
>Charles the great finds the sweat stapler
>>28761517
>the feds
>not shadow people or ayylmaos who are manifesting themselves from the supervisor layer of the matrix onto the simulation layer
Wow you are so in the dark it makes me want to cry
>wife found the snot snek
>>28761343
This image is making me dizzy. I can't believe I'm THIS much of a weak faggot these days.
>Mom found the jizz sock
King Henry found the toe jam distillary
>financial advisor found the marrow barrel
>>28761595
I can't believe that was an original comment.
Oh but my post wasn't. Wow.
>mom found the phylactery
she doesn't even understand the power she has over me now
she thinks it's just an ordinary poop basket, but it isn't
it holds my very immortal soul, it is the only thing that keeps me alive, away from but in control of this wretched body
>>28761569
You just don't get it. The feds have been following me all my life. My grandpappy smoked a lot of weed, and the feds were always after him. They never got him, and he is still puffing to this day. The feds keep an eye on him too, they are going to want to make an arrest soon on grandpappy, put the poor old man in jail. They always figured me to be a future weed smoker because my grandpappy was. They kept an eye on my all throughout my school life. Though I didn't notice at the time I do notice now from looking back. And with all that stress of knowing the feds were after me? Of course I really had to started to smoking a lot of weed, just like the feds figured I would. And the weed helped with my cognitive abilities, not just the stress, see? It made my neurons more advanced and my intelligence exponentially grew as my neurons became more complex and compact. So after smoking weed and with my new superior intelligence I was able to find out that the feds were after me. Then I kind of just looked back in my memories and saw that the feds were always watching me. I really always knew the feds were watching me. It happened to my grandpa and it happened to me. So that being said, wouldn't you think it more likely that the shadow people are feds, and not some aliens from the 7th dimension? Ha.
>aunt found the shampoop
>dad found my rare pepe porn collection
>>28761718
Alien shill pls go
You've been interfering with the self-directed growth of neural pathways for long enough
I know what you're up to
I refuse to be a subject of your experiments!!
>anon it's just a dream
>anon we're just ordinary people
>anon it's just a machine that you were in control of all along
ENOUGH!!! Your lies are tiresome.
>brother-in-law found the earwax shotgun
just fucking end my life right now
>CT unit found the IED doorjamb
>>28761718
>made fun of your shitty memes
>have to start a pass-agg thread about it
>cousin found the cornea catapult
>>28761343
>family UNIRONICALLY found the cumrag
the disgusting thing just turned up clean on my table one day
>>28761746
Hey everyone look at this crazy person. Ha, this guy has got some kind of mental issue. You should not waste a second reading the words of a crazy person like this poster. Democracy; to compare the state to it's likeness of a person. The democratic person knows a lot of interesting characters, his grandpappy, this poster here. It is charming, but there are those who would seek to undermine the democratic person for using marijuana just as it's likeness to the state these feds would like to take away the democratic system and basically control everything. It's going to be a fedstate and it's going to be horrible. There are going to be horrible restrictions punishable by death. And prison time for the slightest mishap. Subservience mandatory on all peoples. Redistribution of sexual activity with minorities. Mandatory penis and vagina inspections. Forced hygiene, and forced flossing in particular. Mandatory organ, blood, and semen donations. There is no taxation as the state owns you, but you have to pay for your prison time so you can still get into debt. Debt means prison time if you can't pay it off. 100% taxation rate. And they will also arrest you for smoking marijuana, and they will give you hard time for that. Like the movie stuff. I will spread knowledge to prevent such a tyranny from seizing power in this great democratic state.
>>28761517
>Uncle Brent found the shit alarm-clock
>>28761877
>still being a little bitch
>so insecure he has to ride into every thread
>>28761843
>unironically uses cum rag
>let's his mom find it
you are making me anxious
>>28761877
>accusations of insanity and violating democracy
alien confirmed
c o n f i r m e d
Don't kid yourself, kid. You serve one purpose, and that is to weed (no pun intended) out the faggots who listen to so that they cannot properly ascend to greater heights than your little scheme. Everything else is fluff, it is a theatrical display of nothingness. Whatever point you try to prove is not a point, because it serves an ulterior purpose.
But you know this, ayylmao-friend. You know this well. You know it even better than I do. And you want me to know only as much as I do, no less and no more, and I cannot fathom your purpose.
I want to kiss you, but I'm afraid your ayylmao metabolism would be too frail to resist the humanoid diseases that I carry. Shh shh my little but infinitely superior friend, everything will be okay. You may see me as a lesser, idiotic entity, and I may rot in turmoil and despair when it comes to how I appear to the public eye, but deep inside there is a seed of hope that will not be extinguished. I love you, and if you need me to, I can help you.
>>28761930
Tell me more about myself, fed, you have all your data there from when you bugged me. I cried when you did that to me, crossing lines like that.
Tell me more about myself then, fed. Tell me my name.
>>28761954
No one can know your name, especially when you yourself have forgotten it
But I am only reflecting your monologue back onto you, for you know this to be true of me and all others. Possibly yourself? I don't know your race well enough to tell.
>>28761952
>>28761985
I need to go. But this is only because it is of a late hour and I require rest. It is not because I am in any way cornered by these petty arguments of madness. They are not even worth addressing even if I had the time to defend myself, so instead I jetpack out of here, because I was just thinking that if I were cornered by two bad guys I would really require a jetpack. And so I am off to my sleep chamber.
>>28762042
Sleep tight, little buddy
May you dream of jetpacks and freedom for as long as you wish before you wake
>>28761343
>Goverments bugged my trackpad
>>28761343
>OH SHIT goverment bugged my toaster again
>wife's son found the cum mum
>shills trying to discredit healthy paranoia about government surveillance by making a joke of it
haha, nothing to fear gents!
>>28762356
>shills trying to discredit healthy paranoia about extradimensional entities by foistering the blame onto tiny humans
>>28762380
not anuddah transdimensional shoah!
>tfw government
>tfw massively assfucked by a bunch of vodka drinkers, chinkydink gooks, sisterfucking white trash, slowpoke rodriguezes, and actual unironic cavemen
>can't make quotas
>have to go to the tard home and give the tards bombs then arrest them for having bombs or I'll be fired
just benghazi my shit famillius
>>28762404
Anon pls. Go back to your dimension's version of 4chan
>>28762418
>tfw politician
>tfw get paid for telling other people how to behave
It's a tuff lyfe
>WAS COOKING PIZZA
>CAME BACK 2 HOURS LATER
>ITS BURNT
>THE GOVERMENTS BUGGED MY OVEN AGAIN
REEEEEE
