http://www.atlnightspots.com/boy-dies-after-masturbating-42-times/
So, /r9k/
why haven't you jacked yourselves off to death yet?
for some reason after seeing op's pic it reminded me of harry potter and now i really wanna go watch harry potter. brb gonna torrent harry potter
damn, respect
Sounds like too much work desu
Thats how I'd like to go
>42
Fucking legend
>>28760035
You know, it really reminds me of Harry Potter too.
You know what it is? That's basically what it looks like when a Dementor sucks the life out of its victim.
I thought 42 was the meaning of life, not death.
>>28760194
>I thought 42 was the meaning of life, not death.
We live for death.
We live to die.
42
How is that even possible? My record is 8 times in one night.. and that was because I snorted meth.
What was the actual cause of death?
Holy shit, this guy has mastered the art of the fap
>>28760010
I'm sure NoFap is jumping on this as a way to "prove" that masturbation is bad for you.
>>28760010
>fapping till you die
I guess its not such an over exaggeration after all
>>28760010
cum = life force??
wizardposters were right
>>28761007
yeah no shit buddy
"Your mana has been depleted."
>poorly written article on some shady, no name site
>po***graphy
>no cause of death listed
>death apparently happened in Brazil, but links to a non-Brazilian website
>link to said non-Brazilian website results in a 404, it may have never existed in the first place
>Googling the subject results in several other shady, no name sites and leddit
Sounds like you robots fell for fake news. I mean, you aren't really buying it, are you? Didn't anyone ever teach you how to do research before coming to a conclusion? I hope none of you guys vote.
>>28761050
Who cares if it's true, it makes for a good thread.
>>28760035
Read fanfiction instead, it's less retarded than the movies.
>>28761085
I mean if you're retarded, maybe. I can't imagine being entertained by clickbait, much less clickbait that isn't even true.
>>28760035
Reminds me of that kinky daniel radcliffe play
equus or whatever, the one where he fucks a horse because he thinks it's a demon or something
>>28760010
Keep your Brazilian tabloids to yourself. If a 16 year old died in Brazil it was not from masturbating... probably a common drug overdose. If he was addicted to masturbating then he is prone to other addictions of dopamine.
I'm fairly certain I've passed the 42 mark in one day before.
How in the hell did they manage to tally up that # though?
>>28760194fucktherobotbloxxxx
Cause it hurt too much after 8 times
>>28760010
I used to masturbated onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me.
first, you need to find an isolated area so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread.
My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit.
Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet.
You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird.
This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences.
I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city. Either way I haven't done it in years but I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds, cock throbbing and waiting for them to land close to me
