Sup R9K.
so aside from getting laid I have a talent for getting my friends laid. Had a great father who taught me everything I know.
Let me be your wingman tonight robots, Give me your dilemas ill give you the advice you need
>>28758490
I mean this did start out as a dating advice board right?
>>28758490
How do u take good dick pics
>>28758662
Selfie camera (preferably snapchat)
Hold it like right over your knees, do like half a crunch and hold it. Looks like your cock reaches (or comes close to) your belly button. Works every time
>1 unique poster
>faking text convos to impress anonymous burnouts on an anime imageboard
you sad piece of shit
Tell me how to keep my feels in check and properly pace myself with a girl. It's like I can only portray myself as cold and distant or hopelessly infatuated.
>>28758705
>>28758662
girl here
dont do dickpicks, ever
>>28758490
how do u cope with constant rejection
How do I fuck stupid girls when at a party full of people?
>>28758866
>>28758893
see >>28758797
don't fall for the bait and bump these desperate ass shit threads you fucking newfag idiots.
Can girls tell that I have a crush on any girl who shows the slightest sign of interest in anything I say?
>>28758918
I've been here 4 years now. I haven't learned by now, and I'll never learn.
>>28758866
Don't tell a girl you love her until you've been together atleast three months. Its the perfect number, believe me. In terms of not leaning too far in either direction, check yourself on a couple ground rules
-make sure you display some kind of emotion atleast twice per conversation. This doesn't have to be emotions towards her, it can just be how you're feeling about your day or a specific life event.
-DONT tell her how happy she makes you more than once towards conversation, unless you're having a back and forth love great kinda thing.
Basically don't let her think she controls your emotions, but let her know they exist. Avoid saying anything that makes her think she had full power over how you feel (even if she does)
>>28758893
Push past it. If you get rejected too many times in a row, take an easy one. Find some chick online who you don't really need to get to know, and emphasize your best features. Height, eyes, artistic skill, way with words, anything. Get her to compliment one of them, use that as a confidence booster. Otherwise, just suck it up. Listen to the song "it's all over" by Johnny cash. Best take on rejection
>>28758920
Guys are better at spotting when a dude has a hard on for a girl than girls are. If you're not completely obvious, they probably won't figure it out. Just have some self control. Jack off then think about if you'd still bang her. Best way I know to clear your mind/make better decisions
>>28759016
is being an indian a good feature or a bad feature?
jk i know the answer to that
>>28759049
OK good, I'm just making sure that I'm not obvious
I cant deal with how people talk to me. Im unable to defend myself and speak up for myself. I have a real problem with normal communication.
>>28758515
>I mean this did start out as a dating advice board right?
No, newfag. Not in the least.
>>28758890
what if the girl asks for one
>>28759052
Curry Indian or bow and arrow Indian?
If buffalo hunter Indian, ride that guilt trip card as hard as you can. Make up some shit about how you know all these ancient health things, find a way to relate it to sex.
If curry, just act super white and get fit. Or learn to cook dishes from your culture (or pretend they're from your culture, white girls don't know the difference)
If you want to play the sleaze card, bring up kama sutra. Fair warning, that line will only score you trashy chicks
>>28759124
Give me some examples. If there's one thing I'm good at, it's conversation.
I've been called silver tongued, sky, and witty
>>28758490
>chivalrous
just cringed at that slut
>>28759151
Curry, but don't speak the language/understand the culture
>>28759198
*tips*
milady
>>28759212
So you're like 100% assimilated?
If you live in the states (especially west coast) you can honestly fake it till you make it
>>28759198
Atleast she didn't call me a gentleman, or a sir
I'm a decent looking guy, but I'm cute/young not manly. Can I get girls without becoming more manly?
>>28759238
Yeah born in Chicago, college in NYC, etc
But I feel like I do inherently worse than white people at it
>>28758490
>ugly as sin
>fat
>weeaboo
>want a real relationship and not to "get laid" until ive known the girl for awhile
>want the girl to be just as weeaboo-y and shit as me
what do, OP?
>>28758490
Sex can't be worth conversation so banal. There's no way I could pretend to do this for even five minutes.
Me and my girl stopped having sex as often. She's always been low libido and I have to work it all day to get her in the mood, but I'm starting to give up on that. It's too much work for her to just easily dismiss me as an unreasonably horny guy. When we first started going out we did stuff every day. Now it's once every two weeks or so (sometimes more). Dating 2 years, both college students. Probably going to break up with her.
I go down on her probably 75% of the time we do anything, so I don't think it's that.
>>28759278
Yeah. I'm a 6'3, woodworking, beer and medium rare steak, man's man. I know how to work my thing and I do it well. If you have young features, play that sweet sensitive card. Use emotions to your advantage, just be careful you don't end up whipped. Those kinda girls see you at a target
>>28759279
That'll happen. On the east coast Indians aren't super popular. Same with Hispanics on the west coast. Get in shape, find a style of facial hair (or clean shave) that brings out your jaw line, and dress well. Get that shit down and you should be drowning in it
>>28759124
Im just hyperaware of hierarchies and the constant power struggles in every relationship and communication. Basically I lack the energy for all those pointless fights in everyday interaction. Maybe you could share some insights into your mindset when you communicate?
>>28759305
Dude Believe me I have been there. If there's no sex and no spark, leave it behind. It doesn't turn around and get better, so just get out while you can. But first, have a conversation with her about why. Who knows, maybe she'll try and make a change
>>28759301
I always say
Its worth the banal if you're getting anal
>>28759378
>Get that shit down and you should be drowning in it
Lol no
Being Indian alone knocks you down like 5 levels. Especially if you're white washed because more desi don't like white washed guys unless they are white themselves. They all have the same fucking taste in men.
>>28759285
Best you're gonna do is online relationship. Lower your standards, accept a girl for her interests. Maybe try Tinder, its full of webs and japs. I have a no Asian/weeb policy, because weeb girls are crazy and Asians are weird. But yeah man try and meet a girl on onegle or kik or something
>>28759421
We have. She says she "just doesn't think about it at all". When we do talk about it she just tries to dismiss it as me being a horny dog. Whatever. Now it's a matter of going from having sex occasionally to no guaranteed sex. That's gonna suck. No sex made me stop loving her real fast.
>>28758490
How do you reconnect with an old pal and make it clear you want a relationship? Without being too into it though, because you don't know how different the person is now, and don't want to get too invested.
>>28759473
>Lower your standards
Already willing to go for 1/10, because looks are unimportant in the long run
>accept a girl for her interests
Its what im trying to do.
>weeb girls are crazy
Literally what i'm into
>>28759420
Alright. Well I have naturally good wit and timing, if you don't its something that can be worked on. Try and base your lines off characters you admire to start, then work your way towards natural flow. Take note of things she says and bring them up later. For example, a girl told me she smoked sometimes but doesn't get addicted
Later, mid hook up I asked her "you don't get addicted right?"
She said no, I pulled her against me and said "I'm about to change that"
I know it sounds like some dumb scripted bullshit, but there a reason Nicolas sparks movies make girls wet.
Compliment her on things she might be insecure about, and keep yourself in check if you start to talk to much about yourself.
Let her ramble sometimes, and just pay attention to it. Side with her on issues like arguments with friends, but don't be afraid to disagree. They'll respect you more for having an opinion.
That's what I got for now
>>28759540
First, reach out. Say "hey it's been forever"
Find out if they're still like they used to be by bringing up the old days.
Then, if you want to date, find out their relationship status, and ask them out to lunch to "reconnect"
>>28759538
No guaranteed sex its better than guaranteed no sex.
>>28758490
last thing my oneitis texted me was "uh huh" to a question I asked (my last text was a statement on her job), we were going back and forth a bit before that, but that response seems like she's bored or something. This was a couple of nights ago. Any way to salvage this?
>>28759627
I should've said, we've talked a small bit in passing, and out of desperation I would date them, most likely.
I'll have to ask them to lunch though, but every time I try doing that it just ends in me being a cuck and not going anywhere further than friend stuff.
How do I get a crazy yandere girl to fall for me and codepend on me for the rest of our lives? Assuming she doesn't murder me or kill herself.
>>28759456
This tbqh
>Americans hate me because I'm Indian
>Indians hate me because I'm Brahmin
>Brahmins hate me because I'm American
>>28759696
Don't be a pussy. Text her. She sent the last text right? Say "hey"
If she never texts first, maybe she's not into you. Who gives a fuck. The last thing you want to do is let this face or and wonder what could've been. Better to just ask her on one date, and if you get laid thats rad, if she shoots you down then atleast you know you had the balls to go for it. Atleast you won't wallow in regret fantasizing about how it might've gone if you made a move
>>28759828
> face or
Meant fade out
>>28759828
What if I don't have the guts to ask a girl out
When I see a girl that's really pretty I immediately get depressed and clingy. I assume that the pretty ones want nothing to do with me, so if I ever get a shot with one, I overextend and become emotional and shit. How do I ignore their prettiness OP, tell me
Hi Chad.
>wingman
Forget girls. I don't have a shot with any of them so I'm not worried about it.
What I want to ask you is how can I just be socially normal?
I can't even look people in the eye, let alone have a conversation. Then I see all these normal people effortlessly socialize and it makes me feel like a freak of nature. How do I at least come off as not-retarded so that I can hide my power level and blend in so nobody notices and makes fun of me? Thanks.
>>28759948
It's the same as learning to play an instrument.
You pick it up (look for advice/meditate/get help in whatever way you need to find confidence), get your hands in the right position (go outside), then start playing (start off by small talk with random people, and work your way up to relationships) then do a performance (ask someone out, go to a party, etc.)
>>28759981
>somehow get confident
That's really vague, but at least it's not as bad as "jus b urself lol"
Thanks, I guess.
>>28760012
Don't kid yourself. It's exactly as bad as that. OP is just a faggot that had a bad day and is trying to feel better about himself by comparing his status to /r9k/.
>>28759948
Hey man, this is kinda my specialty. First off, do you actually have autism? Because if so,I can't guaranteed I'll be able to help. Other than that, just learn when to interject. Find a group of people you can relate to (maybe at work or school or something) and learn about each character there. Know when to give shit and when to shut up. Making fun of the weakest member of a group earns you points with the others. Most people, by the way, have the heart not to make fun of you to your face if they think you're weird.
Oh, and if you fuck up, you can always say something like "haha sorry guys I can be a bit awkward, but I'm trying to work on it"
Girls think it's cute, guys respect that your acknowledging personal flaw. Earns you points across the board.
And if none of that works, some times a group needs that once cynical dick wad. But keep in mind that should be a last resort
>>28759981
Don't give shit advice and bad metaphors.
OK OK
I GET A GIRL TO MY PLACE
HOW DO I GET FROM THE DOOR TO ON MY D
PLEASE IVE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE AND SHES COMING OVER NEXT WEEKEND
WE BEEN TEXTING LOTS AND THERE'S BEEN PLENTY OF FLIRTING AND HINTS THAT SHE'S KEEN ENOUGH FOR AT LEAST SOME FOOLING
>>28760132
Answer the door without any pants on.
I'm serious.
>>28760132
Talk, get closer and closer as the night goes on. When you're close enough, and there's a silence, look at her lips, then back to her eyes.
If she doesn't move away, kiss her. Put your hand on her face, and make out. Things will progress naturally from there. Good luck.
so I met this chick at a concert, we were both there alone and we kinda just started chatting
she gave me her number then asked me to hang out with her
so we go to this record store and we're kinda just doing our own thing, but atleast we talked on the drive over and back, it wasn't terrible but it wasn't great, I felt like trying to kiss her or anything like that would have been weird
how do I kiss this chick?
>>28759889
>answers everyones questions except mine
>>28758490
please leave this board senpai :)
>>28760332
Check >>28760272
You just gotta get her in the right situation. You should've tried to initiate conversation about taste in music while in the store
>>28759889
Jack off before you talk, or find one small flaw in them (single hair above lip, odd posture, too tall, too short, weird hair part, annoying laugh, dumb) and just use that flaw to convince yourself she's not all that great
OP.
I'm a solid 7, I think. 8 on a good hair day. How do I work on girtls rated higher than me?
Also, what's the smoothest way to get a number off a girl?
PD: Do you know the Annie Hall line? Works like a charm.
Wow, actually giving some decent advice. Usually "advice" given on this board is fucking horrific. Good on you OP.
How do you find parties? Anyone?
you make friends and you casually ask them about their plans for the weekend.
i know pretty much nothing about talking with girls
havent had a girlfriend since I was 14 maybe and havent really talked to girls since hs
im 21 now
like how do i even greet women. do i give them a handshake and shit like when i met a friend of a friend?? what
i know women want to be threated a special way or something
idk
really sad stuff please help me out, i actually look good and ive heard after hs that many girls from different classes chrushed on me but i looked so distant and not interested
sucks cus im tired of jerking off havent had sex since i was 17. it was just a good period of my life and i cant recall how my personallity was because i got laid a few times
How do you make it clear something is a date? I asked a girl out to a concert and she said yes, but I'm not sure if she's clear on it being a date.
>>28761173
you just gotta pick up on the signs, I guess. You could hit at it, too, like suggesting you're paying for it or whatevr
>>28761219
I already said I'm paying for it, should I assume she thinks it's a date?
>>28758490
How do you deal with being in love with the idea of being in love with someone, but not actually knowing anyone that you love?
I was real lonely a couple weeks ago and I found a girl who thinks I'm qt, but I realized I just liked the idea of being loved and didn't really feel attraction to her specifically
>>28758705
what? instructions not clear enough, please elaborate.
>>28758490
hey guys! This ONE girl finds me attractive and now im gonna post about it on my favourite vietnamese pillow stuffing board!
>she uses the term chivalrous non ironically
>>28758490
GET
OFF
MY
FUCKING
BOARD
WHY THE SHIT WOULD I WANNA GET LAID IN THE FIRST PLACE WITH SOME CUNTY GRILL ITS NOT FUCKING WORTH IT UNLESS YOU'RE A NORMIE FUCK OFF
>>28761860
lol u buttmad
Asked a girl if she wanted to meet up next weekend lst night and no response.
Do I just chalk this up as another no or give her till after work?
>>28761921
What was the text, verbatim? Post a screenshot.
>>28761921
give her til work
if she doesn't answer for a while, give up
pursuing her will just make you look creepy
>>28761940
Im pretty upfront so it was just.
"Want to meetup next weekend and go somewhere/do something?.
Be Blunt "
I said be blunt because I just want a straightforward answer,Non of this I might hurt his feels so ill lead him on a bit.
I am bad at this
is it true that some girls prefer cuddling and stuff rather than sex? I mean i love cuddling too but i feel most of the time i'm initiating all the sex and she just wants to cuddle all the time. Is this normal OP?
>>28761921
If its first time, give them benefit of the doubt if they say they "have something on" Second time they try this however its time to put them in the bin and move on. Had a chick who pulled this crap on me said she was "studying" the first weekend and then said she had to "see family" the second. Pre much gave up after that and moved on.
>>28762034
Shes already asked me to meet up with her once but I was in another county,Ended up not realizing she was not in the same one and I think I sort of stood her up and she was third wheeling hard.
Two nights ago I went out with our mutual friends and I was Like If there is a beyond drunk that was my state,Basically felt her up and another one of my friends. Talking to them in the morning they seemed to have thought it was funny but I feel like I crossed a line. Im such a tool
Im just shit at social situations to be honest. Id rather a harsh no than this waiting
>>28762255
It's about taking control of the situation. Forget what happened before but focus on now. Be the alpha like we always talk about. If she doesnt reply say by the end of the week then toss her away and actually tell her you are no longer interested. 2 things can happen, she can see that shes no longer useful to you and she will beg to come back or she wont even care and nothing will happen.
>>28762287
Well Ill see her tomorrow in person anyway,Should I just treat her like I normally do or just confront and ask for an answer if she has no responded by than?
>>28761970
Be blunt was a total cuck move. If you want her to be blunt you gotta be blunt too. Say shit that will make a no hurt your feelings. Don't pussyfoot. If she doesn't reply be upfront about your intentions or give up. Don't text like some beta friend.
>>28758490
Do you think all these talents can be learned?
I'm basically starting with nothing in my 30's.
>>28762360
Can you reword this into better English.
A no hurt your feeling?
No advice will ever help me when I'm a boyish-faced manlet. Girls don't see me as sexual. They see me as cute. The only chicks who've ever liked me have been younger ones on the internet.
>>28762381
Don't say some beta shit that you can recover from. You entered the fucking race. Don't run off the track. Finish in whatever place, heck get last. Make a "No." hurt you. Feel emotional pain from putting yourself out there and getting denied.
>>28762394
Girls are into looks, but get turned on with emotion and feeling. Trigger words used in non sexual contexts turn them on.
Wet, Heat, etc
And if she reciprocates the triggers back you know she's game and is waiting for you to escalate.
But dont escalate that quick, fuck with her and have her yearning for more
>>28762394
You ain't looking sexual then.
There this girl that has a crush on me but has a bf already and we never talk. Wat do
>>28762458
Start talking.
>>28762441
I see,I never said it would not hurt,Id just prefer a straight answer than no answer or a suger coated one.
>>28762444
Doesn't change the fact that their standards don't allow for a young-looking manlet like me to fuck them.
Post face chad, it's pretty clear you can girls no matter WHAT you say.
>>28759285
How about you lose some fucking weight genius?
