Working as a cashier at a grocery store has been utterly miserable. I've been doing this job for months, and I feel immense shame and embarrassment every single day that makes me want to quit. I am terrible at interacting with people so I don't even greet customers, and I try to get by with saying the absolute minimum repetitive phrases.
My reaction time is incredibly slow, and I often misunderstand what people are saying and get flustered, and it becomes impossible to think. I fuck up even the most basic math when other people are watching me, and it gets harder and harder to think the more flustered I get. This also applies to when people give me instructions. I'm just generally incompetent and I can't think quickly and I fuck everything up, lacking common knowledge and common sense, and the constant shame of my awkwardness and incompetence being so public makes me want to die.
This is clearly the worst kind of work for me, but I don't really know if anything else I could find would be much better. It's good that I have been tolerated at this job for this long. Since I didn't even need to be interviewed for this job, I don't know if I could even get another one.
>>28754532
>shame and embarrassment
why? are you too good for it?
I think an important thing to add to this that pervades not just my job but also my life is that I feel incredible shame at feeling utterly helpless like I was never taught all the things that I need to know. I am ignorant of so many things that I am made to feel like I should already know that it is unbearable.
>>28754558
No. I don't mind the hard work with low pay, I just don't like hating myself and wanting to kill myself for feeling like a failure and a disappointment in every single moment that I am at work. This feeling stems from me being terrible at interacting with people.
If I could just do my work and not worry about being constantly publicly embarrassed and reminded about my own inferiority in comparison to everyone else, everything would be fine.
>>28754764
>no.
so yes?
>>28754532
Find something else that you like better.
I'm a student and currently work as a logistics manager. In the past, I've been a crew member at McDonald's, a delivery driver for three or four different companies, a produce stocker, and a factory robot. The job I did the longest was delivery, since I liked taking home cash every day and spending the majority of my shifts without managerial supervision. I also do freelance writing and could probably make enough money to sustain myself if I didn't just consider it a side gig.
I sometimes felt embarrassed to be a delivery driver. There was a time or two when customers would imply that I was too stupid to get a "real job," even though I'm a physics and neuroscience dual major.
Whatever. At the end of the day, I've got to make money and work. Realize that most folks you interact with on a daily basis don't matter. If they criticize or compliment you, you'll probably never see them again; at the very most, they'll think about your face and your persona for two minutes and then move on to finding the best strategy to load their car and move out of the parking lot.
>>28754866
>Realize that most folks you interact with on a daily basis don't matter
>If they criticize or compliment you, you'll probably never see them again
I am intimately familiar with this way of thinking and it does nothing to lessen the impact. It wears you down when you are constantly being reminded of your screw-ups and shortcomings via public embarrassment. I don't really know how to explain it, even to myself, so I don't know how to escape it or get around it.
>>28754968
Sure, everybody is different.
Just keep working to better yourself and apply for other jobs that you think you might be better qualified for or more apt to work in. Provided you're relatively young, I doubt that anybody is judging you.
>>28754532
Holy shit, this describes me exactly, I didn't know other people were like that. If nothing else, know that you are not alone rpbot.
>>28755056
That is good at least. I was hoping that I would be able to find people who could relate.
It makes me wish sometimes that my shyness and introversion could be seen as positive traits rather than horrible flaws about me to be ashamed of, to change, and to hide the best I can. I guess they really aren't ideal traits in a man, though.
>>28754532
Tell the manager that you'd be interested in working in other departments, at least that way you won't be doing the same shit every day in the same spot
>>28755542
This sounds like a good idea. Would probably win him some points with his superiors too.
>>28754532
Ive had this problem too, if there is one try switching to an overnight position or night job. Its the perfect robot job, and it probably pays more.
kek i hate my job not for those reasons but because it is boring as fuck. as a result of this boredom, to pass time and make it more interesting i have resorted to hitting on customers, especially high school girls(im 18) and have gotten some of their numbers. i also hooked up with a coworker in the bathroom. part of me is actually doing this stuff hoping i will get fired..
>>28754532
Holy shit man I can relate to this so hard.
I dropped out of college last year, and because I needed a job I got one as a cashier. Still doing it. I am not a sociable person at all, and when it comes to sucking at the most simple tasks, I feel the same way. It seems like everyone has such an easy time with learning new shit, but I fail with basic mechanical tasks.
I suck at bagging other people's groceries. I tend to just throw shit in the bags - of course I don't put chemicals in with the food, but other than that, I just consider food food. But it's like people want their stuff bagged in a super specific, shapely way, and I just don't get it. I have to go quick, there's other people waiting, how can I have time to bag people's stuff so properly? And I suck with those reusable bags, because they always flop around and aren't stable and they're just awkward.
Plus I have a hard time telling the difference between yellow onions and sweet onions sometimes, and small vs large onions. And also the different kinds of peppers and mushrooms.
Also, sometimes an item doesn't have a barcode and I have to get someone to enter the price. I don't have a phone or button next to my register, so I often have to yell out to the person in charge. I don't have a good yelling voice and I'm not used to it. Often they can't hear me. People get mad at me if they have to wait and no one comes.
And coupons. I don't get them. I get flustered when they don't work and people argue with me. They didn't read it correctly and get mad that I can't give them the discount. Sometimes if a supervisor comes over, they get mad at me for not giving them the discount. But they also get mad if I do.
Also: why do they make it impossible to see the bottom of the cart? People put large packs of water, and sodas under the cart, but I can't see it at all. I have to bend over at an awkward angle.
>>28755542
>>28755587
Not much chance, it looks to me. They seem to pretty badly need people manning the registers, and it doesn't seem it would be worth it to them to train me to do anything else because everyone else does it better and they haven't trusted me with anything other than cashiering so far.
I think I ought to try to say something, but I don't think I will know how to phrase it right and it will be an awkward and largely ignored comment, I predict, except there might be the negative connotation to it that since this position is the only one I've ever worked at the store that I'm getting sick of it now.
>>28755696
So far they've only ever had me work on the days when the store is always busy. Also, the store closes before 9 PM.
>>28755863
(cont)
And if I ask if they have something under there, they get offended like I'm accusing them of stealing. But I can't see! How am I supposed to do my job if I can't really see what's under the cart. People forget shit under there all the time.
Also, do you have to put stickers on items that don't go in bags? I do, but people often get mad at me. They think the stickers aren't necessary. But if the supervisors don't see a sticker, they get mad at me. I just wish customers would stop getting irritated with me, for just doing my job. It's like no matter what I do someone gets mad.
I understand that I'm here because it's my own fault, I flunked out of college. It's my own doing I have this job. But it's still hard. The boringness can just be some mind numbing, I often have thoughts of shoving my head against a wall, stabbing myself with a knife, because it gets so boring and tedious.
Sorry to ramble so much but seeing your thread struck a chord and I guess I just had to vent. It's tough man.
I feel you, OP.
All I say to the customers, unless they ask me something, is 'hi there' and 'thanks'. Usually I don't even know the answer to what they ask me, so I have to ask someone else anyway.
>>28755863
jesus christ im about to start applying for cashier jobs but based on what you described it sounds like hell. a lot of the things you described i can already tell im going to have a problem with. this isnt going to go well i already know it.
>>28754532
I know that feel. worked fast food and we were told to be cheery and greet everyone all the time, but you can't be the varietized pleasant greeter when it's fucking dinner rush and you're trying to blast through the order of the guy in front of you to get to the neverending line of schmucks behind him.
Honestly, I'm glad I got fired off of that shit. Work in a liquor store now. still have to deal with cashier rushes, but the owner/managers are really direct and laid back about most things. Plus I basically get paid and praised for racial profiling because blacks are horrible fucking thieves.
>tfw teambuilding over literal systematic racism
>>28755952
It really depends on what store you work at.
Tbqh bagging is really easy, especially if you have a conveyer belt. If the person gives a shit, they'll put it in the approximate order they want it bagged in. Telling the difference between produce isn't too hard, just pass by the produce dept every once in a while and see what everything is labeled as. If yore really struggling deciphering between two, ask the customer like 'is this a jalapeno or a seranno pepper?' and they should know.
Things not having barcodes and coupons not working is a real struggle though.
>>28755938
i know what you mean about the customers thing because my parents are like that to cashiers and waiters. my dad looks for stuff to complain about when we go out to eat and it seems about 10 percent of the time he will find something that pisses him off a lot and will go into full rage mode and start screaming or complaining to the manager. my mom also gets mad at cashiers when they arent 100% happy, smiling and nice and will complain about it a lot. she also complains about their bagging skills and if they take too long. you have my sympathy.
>mfw my jobs doesn't require me to interact with anyone ever
Sure, it's low pay, but I don't work very hard, so who cares?
>>28755863
>it's like people want their stuff bagged in a super specific, shapely way, and I just don't get it. I have to go quick, there's other people waiting, how can I have time to bag people's stuff so properly?
This is terrible to me, because my face goes red when I see people adjusting what I thought I've bagged correctly, pulling things out and grabbing new bags, or when people outright will tell me that I'm doing something wrong.
>Plus I have a hard time telling the difference between [different kinds of produce]
For me, this is miserable. People can get very pissed when you screw up entering what kind of produce they're getting, rightfully because it's their money and they want you to be immediately aware that you are making some mistake, but I really wish they wouldn't yell and get intense.
>Sometimes if a supervisor comes over, they get mad at me for not giving them the discount. But they also get mad if I do.
This feeling is similar to the one I have where it always feels like there is always some process or error in the computer or something that only people who have worked here for longer than me know, because I am constantly screwing something up where it feels like I don't know something that I am expected to know.
It is good to vent, at least.
>>28754532
>>28754764
Since you already work at the grocers, why not just be a shelf stocker? Less talking, more doing, could probably even put an earbud in one ear and listen to something at work. Tell them you like working here, but that you think you'd be more efficient as a stocker.
>>28755938
>The boringness can just be some mind numbing, I often have thoughts of shoving my head against a wall, stabbing myself with a knife, because it gets so boring and tedious.
Myself, I end up feeling such depersonalization from standing on my feet and ringing up peoples' groceries all day that it seems surreal much of the time, like I am a machine, and I find myself having to keep from giving into thoughts like "What would happen if I just stopped? If I just stood there for a minute, and then just sat down somewhere?"
>>28756225
>could probably even put an earbud in one ear and listen to something at work
That reminded me of one of the worst things about the job. It would still be hard to stand all of it, but I would feel less miserable if I didn't have to listen to literally the exact same grating, irritating pop songs playing through the store at least four times a day, every single day, every week, every month. I have to try to block it out just to stay sane.
>>28754532
You are a literal hero to me anon.
I can't even begin to imagine how I would survive more than a day working as a cashier.
I can barely count past 10 without my hands when people are looking at me and I was a straight A student in high school
