In this thread, we unironically pool together our normie/chad knowledge so any of us could be a normie for a day/night/weekend/week/month/life.
Aside from the roastie anticulture, the biggest thing I hear in this board is
>chad was born with social skills and knowledge that I never got, so I cannot just go and do what he does.
Okay, that isn't true, but assuming it is, let's share some of that "knowledge" you could use to pass off for someone who lives an active lifestyle.
I'm gonna start by sharing something I posted yesterday but got lost in the noise, when someone asked "what does a normie weekend look like?"
this applies for most young professionals out of school and with a 9 to 5 job monday through friday.
>friday afternoon
>get out of work
>check phone
>0-10 messages
>possible invites to happy hour, birthday gatherings, "X friend is in town for the weekend, help me show them a good time" type of gatherings, etc
>if nothing seems attractive, ignore
>either go home alone, go hang out with roommates, or go see gf/bf and hang out in a private setting
>if you go for one of the invites, go home, shower, head out, hit the bar/house for pregame until 10:30 then head out to a club/lounge and dance/chill until 2am, then go home or go to someone else's house to keep it going until 4 or 5am and pass out in someone's couch
>saturday morning
>wake up
>if not at home, gather stuff, find a ride home, and sleep through the afternoon
>if home, wake up refreshed, have breakfast, maybe work out if it's in the routine
>check phone and facebook, see if any invites for any bbq's, day birthday parties, pool parties, sport watching events, etc
>if nothing catches your attention, message friends about previous night and see if anyone wants to hang out, watch a movie, etc something easy to relax from the loud night
>if you find something fun, shower, get dressed, buy a bottle of alcohol suitable for the occasion, and then go
>saturday 7pm
>getting hungry, depending on your situation you may be home, so cook, or at someone's event, so eat their food, or out with friends, so find a restaurant
>if spirits are up, go out to a bar/lounge/club again with friends and repeat friday night's evening
>if tired from previous night, head home by 10pm and sleep browsing facebook, nyt, reddit, etc
>>28742445
part 2
>sunday morning
>>if not at home, gather stuff, find a ride home, and sleep through the afternoon
>if home, wake up refreshed, have breakfast, maybe work out if it's in the routine
>some events may be going on that day, sunday is the day most normies play sports so maybe hit up your football/rugby/soccer/basketball crew and play for a couple hours
>in the afternoon, take it easy, you have to work tomorrow and don't want to deal with
>maybe another bbq if it's worth going, or just go home and clean, do some chores
>sleep early
>if in a relationship, watch netflix
>if single, probably browse facebook, reddit, youtube feed, news paper websites, etc.
>go to sleep by 11pm
How to Normie:
>Have some sports knowledge
>Listen to radio to know popular songs
>Have some variation of Manbun/beard combo
>be loud and obnoxious
He's want born with our but he and most people was raised in an environment that let them cultivate their social skills. Robots who didn't have that have to play catch-up with people who don't have the patience to deal with the socially retarded
>>28742410
Just find a hobby that actual takes effort, then life will seem easy compared to it, you become a lighter person, comfortable around others, able to just chat without worrying etc... Becoming a normie personality wise or, if you really go far, a Chad.
Can someone with normie knowledge explain to me why I am not bullied by Chads/Staceys? All the Chads in high school treated me like I was a pretty cool guy and just left me to myself, Staceys included. They never befriended me, but they did talk to me occasionally.
>>28742445
>>28742465
if you are going out, depending on the setting you would spend anywhere between $5 and $300, depending on your self control and the places you can afford. Bigger items like hookah, bottle service, champagne bottles are usually split evenly at the end, unless you wanna drunkenly treat your table to one on your own dime.
regular bar
>$20 in beer, cocktails, tip, no appetizer unless you don't drink much and can get $6 chicken wings or something
nicer restaurant bar
>$40 for the same things
club/lounge
>$20-40 cover fee
>$50+ for the items mentioned above
>$100+ bottle service
>$50+ if you drunkenly invite a round of shots to your party of 5+
>$30+ hookah
>moet tier champagne ($50+ bottle)
nicer club/lounge
>either 50+ cover fee or free because you're on a list (birthday party, or you/your friend knows the DJ or promoter, etc)
>$10 tap beer, $17 cocktails, $12 glasses of wine, no food usually, $12 shots
>$120 hookah
>$500+ bottle service
>nothing but dom perignon tier and above champagne ($200+ bottle)
Of course, these prices are highly anecdotal and in the US DC/NOVA area. NYC would be higher, south american cities would be on par or just below the price for similar items which seems like a good deal with your US paycheck but out of range for a lot of the locals, and also you'd have to pay extra for american brands of alcohol.
Like someone else mentioned, these aren't most weekend for normies, maybe once or twice a month. I remember doing something like this 5 weeks in a row because birthdays, graduations, st patricks day, etc all lined up and they were each "too big to miss" and felt super burned out by the end that I didn't go out again for a couple months. Some normies thrive off this more, but that's usually the single ones with single friends. If you are in a relationship, you show up to half of them, and leave by 11pm.
>>28742410
1. Lift and do cardio
2. Dress nondescript like those guys
3. Drink beer when socializing - only drink a lot if the occasion calls for it (you'll know because others will be drinking a lot and encouraging you to do the same)
4. Drink a lot of water so you get clearer skin
5. Be clean shaven - beards work for some, but clean shaven is a safer bet
6. Find out about some bullshit popular show and be able to talk about it
7. Travel so you can tell stories about travel - or invent stories about travel
>>28742489
whats an example of such a hobby?
>>28742410
You can't be a normie. Just give the fuck up. Normalfags have had years and years of living like they do. You can't just learn that overnight or even over a few months. Because of our upbringing we will forever be pathetic, awkward losers. Abandon any hope of being normal, in the end it will only make the despair that much more painful.
>>28742550
Playing some sport, studying, meditating, reading (for more than half an hour), learning a foreign language, etc...
>>28742410
Smile for gods sake, just smile and be positive. This is the biggest mistake most robots make. You can have a Chad body from lifting, good clothing style etc, but people will still be deterred by you if you look like you're about to kill yourself at any second from all the depression and feels.
>>28742503
You are probably on the low end of average. Socially invisible.
I was invited to a house party, now what?
>tip 1: most normies don't get sarcasm to r9k level, so avoid being sarcastic as much as possible, because they won't get it and they'll think you are just THAT rude or retarded
>tip 2: avoid obscure references
>shower
>see if there's a dress code on the facebook event, or confirm with the person who invited you if you have to dress up or can go casual
>dress appropriately, brush your teeth, use deodorant, a LITTLE of cologne, nothing overpowering, wear clean clothes
>depending on your budget, spend $10-30 on something to bring to the party
>ask the host if they'd like something specific, most of the time they at least want ice
>beer
>alcohol
>wine
>champagne
>cheese and crackers
>chocolates
>soda, juice, other mixers
>anything you want and will enjoy yourself in case everything at the party is gone or sucks
>bonus points if you bring all the ingredients to make a batch of a particular cocktail you like or think the host will like
>if the party is hosted by americans or north europeans, show up on time or early
>if it's hosted by latinos or south europeans, show up an hour late
>if you feel like you have nothing to talk about prior to the party, check out the facebook feeds of the hosts or other people you believe will be there to get a peek at some possible talking points, otherwise go with the generic work, travel, hobbies, etc.
>as soon as you arrive, find the host, tell them you brought X items for them and ask where you can set them down, then join the party.
>>28742710
>>if it's hosted by latinos or south europeans, show up an hour late
lmao this is great advice
also don't be that guy who brings cheese and crackers, it's either chips and beer, beer, or liquor.
>>28742533
>Travel so you can tell stories about travel - or invent stories about travel
This one is huge. There are few things normies love doing more than circle jerking about travel and one upping each other on the places they've gone. Always be sure to post all about it on social media. Showing off and telling people about it is more important than the trip itself.
It makes them feel unique and worldly, two things normies love more than anything. It's also important to got to what normies consider "exotic" places like Southeast Asia, South America or certain places in Africa. It can't just be London or Rome or Paris or something because that's too "touristy."
>>28742710
>tip 1
Actually, sarcasm is not that difficult to understand. Some are dumb, but most people just don't like sarcasm because it's politically incorrect, it's not socially acceptable outside of some stand up comedy show, has a arrogant dark undertone, and a few people like to play dumb pretending they do not understand you.
>tip 2
Yes. Why would you make obscure references? It just sounds arrogant ("oh, I know this thing that you don't know, look how smart I am!") and inconsiderate ("I don't care about talking about things you can relate to").
Why the fuck do normies like to circle jerk their normality like this? Why can't I just have a group of friends that wants to get drunk and have fun and not give a shit? Fucking hell.
>>28742735
>if it's hosted by latinos or south europeans, show up an hour late
Brazilian here, can confirm.
>>28742810
Getting drunk, having fun and not giving a shit is pretty normie shit.
They don't circle jerk their normality, they circle jerk themselves and they happen to be normal (but think they are different than anyone else).
Also, we are discussing how to turn normie, which requires more effort than just naturally being one.
>>28742810
because life is pain, my man
>>28742503
You're probably physically attractive
>>28742849
This. YOU GOTTA GO HARD BRUH
>drink
>party
>ge tretardy (x5)
Just like this fucking based god right here, emulate your inner MAGA.
>>28742849
>They don't circle jerk their normality,
OMG did you hear anon wasn't talking to somebody for 5 whole minutes last night? I'm totally not inviting him to the next party. XDXD
>>28742710
I'm at the party, now what?
>like someone else said, SMILE, to everyone
>start by looking for people you know, saying hi, and introducing yourself to whoever they were talking to
>join the convo, it's okay to nod and smile for a bit if you are unfamiliar, but don't shy away from asking questions, specially if they are talking about a job/field/place you don't know, they'll enjoy explaining it to you
>if you don't know anyone, you can start by making cold approaches to people alone, or lurking around the host until they introduce you to someone
>if you make cold approach, it's usually easier to find someone alone looking at their phone
>hi, how are you? I'm Anon, what's your name?
>how do you know the host? [then share how you know the host too]
>talk about the food/drinks/whatever is current
>so what do you do for work?
>so how long have you lived in the area?
>have you traveled much?
>any plans for the summer?
>keep asking questions and answering until something clicks and you find a topic you can talk about for a while, for me it's usually travel but for you it may be sports, current events, work if you happen to be in similar fields, etc
>if you want to get more people in the conversation, wait until someone walks nearby doing nothing, and then ask them a question
>hey, i was just talking with [person you just met] about how there's no decent Chinese restaurants in this town, do you know any?
>I'm Anon by the way, so how long have you lived in the area?
>etc
>repeat until you feel like you are comfortable with the people you are with
>if you get tired, say you want to get a drink/food and leave group
>or just wait for them to talk among st themselves and then walk away
Where are all the pictures from? Did you snap them at your normie gatherings?
>>28742410
Just treat life like an rpg
Personality is a skill you need to grind to get good at. Yeah it sucks at first and even sewer rats might overwhelm you, but eventually you can take down minotaurs like it's nothing.
Take your obsession with videogames and move it to improving yourself. You're a robot so you have to think differently, think analytically.
I heard a good thing to in normieville is to always accept whatever stuff the person offers you to make them feel comfortable
>>28742983
Even if it's heroin?
Almost normie here, went from robot to cyborg to whatever the fuck I'm now in a few years. Here's the basics:
>eye contact everyone
>every fucking person on the street or in class or in the bus, you eye contact them
>smile
>straight back
>be in shape
>dress better than most people (not that hard but it takes money)
>spend money on a good haircut
>smell nice all the time
>ask people questions
>dont talk about yourself more than the other person
>only talk about yourself when asked
>the good things say them naturally (don't brag)
>the bad ones ironically
>avoid saying bad things about yourself in general
>talk about drugs/alcohol with excitement
>swing from being friendly to being a dick to being completely uninterested for no reason when you interact with girls you're interested in
>be friendly with guys in general, treat them as if they were ugly girls you're trying to befriend
>be interestED not interestING
>there's no excuse not to try
These are rules I try to never break. It works.
>>28742800
Agreed on both points
>>28742735
It really comes down to taste, I'd rather have nice cheese and nice crackers than chips and salsa, but if you make homemade guac or homemade salsa to go with your tostitos then you're alright. It really depends on the crowd/event you are going to.
>>28742906
I'm at the party, now what? Part 2
>if the previous approach seemed too intimidating, try going to the bar area or kitchen, and you'll find one or two people making drinks
>hey, I'm anon, nice to meet you, so what are you making?
>oh that sounds good, i'll try it too [and start preparing your own drink unless that person offers to make you one, but do not assume they'll make you one
>if you brought your ingredients for your own cocktail, now may be a good time to demonstrate
>make up a cool story about it if you can while you make it
>"so i was traveling in puerto rico with a friend and we met this army guy, huge guy, with a really thick PR accent, biggest guy i've met and every time we would go out, we hould always get the same pink/redish drink, nothing else, so I asked what it was and he showed me it was a cranberry juice, with Don Q Limon rum, but it had to be that specific lime flavored rum, with 3 wedges of limes in it. so he ordered one for me and told me to always squeeze a wedge in there and mix it, and then it was ready. It didn't have a specific name, so every time he ordered it he would describe this to the waiter/bartender. so when i came back to the area I brought I few bottles from duty free and i brought one tonight, and I named them after him so this drink is called El Angelito, you guys want to to try?"
>something like that, borrow my story if you like, it always kills it
>one thing I'd like to stress is, once at the party, you may be a guest, but please please offer to help and clean even if nobody asked you to
>it will be noted by the hosts, and the other guests, and it will get you a lot more invited in the future
>>28742631
Jesus fucking Christ none of those are hard you stupid shit.
How fucking retarded do you have to be to consider reading for thirty minutes a challenge
>>28743076
Seroiusly where are these pics coming from?
>>28743026
If you're hanging out with heroin users and want to continue hanging out with them, then yes even heroin. Most of the rest of society won't begrudge you for politely walking away and seeking other people to hang around with though
>>28743072
>>dont talk about yourself more than the other person
>>only talk about yourself when asked
Can't stress this enough everyone loves to talk about themselves
10/10 I agree with everything on your list. I have done some of it and yeah I did notice a difference.
>>28743125
yeah i snapped them at my normie gatherings, some invited, some hosted
>>28743072
this is great, good idea to read this list before you enter a gathering or are about to meet someone who isn't that close to you
>>28743076
I'm at the party, now what? Part 3
>party is ending, or people are leaving, people you met and liked anyway
>make sure you get a picture with the host and the group, if there's no pictures on facebook the next day, then it didn't happen (memory is fickle like that)
>guy or girl, there's no shame in being the one to pull up your cellphone and asking someone there to please take a picture of you and the host, guy or girl
>if you met someone cool, ask for their contact info
>don't wait for them to do it, ask yourself, normies can be shy too
>hey i had a great time talking to you, we should hang out soon with [mutual friends or host], what's your number?
>are you on facebook? let me add you
>unless you were straight up rude to people, everyone will be eager to have one more friend contact on facebook and even sharing their phone number if they don't keep up with facebook that much
>IF YOU ARE LEAVING AND YOU BROUGHT THINGS, DO NOT TRY TO TAKE THEM BACK WITH YOU. If you brought a bottle of champagne that wasn't opened, either suggest you pop it now or just forget about it, but don't try to sneak it back with you
>some hosts (usually couples) will offer the left over to the guests to take back with them, in which case it's okay, but otherwise just forget about the drink or whatever you brought even if it wasn't opened.
>if you really hit it off with someone, but the party is ending, suggest going somewhere else before going home like a bar, club, etc, specially if it's before 1am
>score
>>28743326
Okay that was a great read anon.
Now how do I get invited to a house party?
>>28743377
>Now how do I get invited to a house party?
You don't. You're not a normie.
Woman will sleep with you because they want you to like them.
>>28743412
This is a really important advice a lot of people should be given.
There's the general misconception that you need a girl to like you to get to fuck her, when it's not actually about you, but about her.
>>28742410
be able to have a conversation
>>28743377
>join facebook
>add contacts
>start with uni, then work, then very selectively add distant family like cousins, etc
>like, comment in their pictures
>talk about stuff with them in person at work, school
for tips on how to interact with normies in daily settings, see
>>28743072
>>28742533
>>28742648
>>28742736
>get invited to party in person or via facebook
If you are cool to have around, it just happens. Also once you get in a circle, invites will come in from everywhere to the point you have to be selective of what you attend so you don't end up broke and burnt out.
Couples, Americans and north europeans tend to have house/dinner parties, so you can follow the tips I posted on house parties
Singles, Latinos and south europeans tend to pregame at home until 11 then go to a club for dancing, I'm about to post some tips on that scenario
>>28743072
>eye contact with random people on the street and on the bus
>>28743540
It sounds silly until you start doing it.
Chad got born with looks. And thanks to looks he got the social skills and social knowledge. It's not the he got born with it. He got born in a way that helped him get it.
Tips from a longtime successful autist in disguise:
>You can have as many weird habits as you want as long as you don't hide anything (I cut my own hair, constantly have terrible wind and eat fish every morning with no judgement).
>Smoke, autists don't smoke because you end up near people so you have to talk
>Force yourself to talk to people you have little interest in knowing, chances are they want attention and you need contact with strangers so you don't go mad
>Do fun stuff
>Always bare in mind that you matter to noone
>Stop being a mopey cunt, you're fine
Semi-normie here, A.M.A
^__^
How do I get a girl to suck my dick?
I've got a general idea of how to get to fuck girls or do whatever I want to do to them, but I don't know how to get them to do things for me.
Buh ta da bun bun
>>28742410
got this one from Derren Brown:
Hardest thing is normal relaxed conversation. Theres really good tips in this thread like dont talk about yourself, be interested not interesting etc. But in prep for that from Derrens book he advised trying it out in situations that dont matter. Talk to waiters waitresses, shop clerks abou fucking anything. Try these tips from this thread out on those people. Theyre throw away interactions, If you full derp ,you walk away and are never seen again, no pressure. At first you may die inside when it does go derpy but as well as the conversation practice you get to experience the feeling of letting go of these interactions positive or negative.
>>28743528
>If you are cool to have around, it just happens. Also once you get in a circle, invites will come in from everywhere to the point you have to be selective of what you attend so you don't end up broke and burnt out.
Do you truly HONESTLY fucking believe that would happen to ANYONE here? There is a REASON we are all autistic virgins. Ugly. Fat. Weird hobbies. Weird ticks or habits we don't even realize we're doing. No friends. No experience in any social situation. Look at the pictures you've posted. None of that applies to ANY of those people. We are not even the same fucking species as them. We are already behind in society. There is NO catching up. If you do not already have a circle of friends and support groups, YOU. ARE. FUCKED. Just stop.
How does a legit 2/10 become a normie and get a girl to hug him?
>>28742906
>join the convo, it's okay to nod and smile for a bit if you are unfamiliar, but don't shy away from asking questions, specially if they are talking about a job/field/place you don't know, they'll enjoy explaining it to you
Normalfag party conversation trick: when someone says they do something, say that it sounds "interesting" or "cool". If its a TV show, an activity or perhaps a food item they're describing then say "I'll have to check it out/try it sometime". This makes them think you approve of their tastes in things and they subconsciously like you more.
>>28743680
Infiltrate social groups that consist of already ugly people, gain social skills, become king of the uggos, make facial and body gains by diet, exercise, proper grooming, etc, get a few points, use uggo friendships to kick off to normal tier people, at some point hug one of the girls.
And it's pretty unlikely you're an actual 2/10, there's simply not many of those.
>>28743072
>be in shape
Not really necessary, I know many normalfags who are fat fucks, your other points are, well "on point" though.
>>28742410
Who's /cyborg/ here? I can pretty much disguise myself as a normie but there's still empty void that i'll never be one of them. Autists hate me for being too normal for them and normies view me a weirdo.
>>28742410
>can 100 robots band together and form one normalfag?
>lets find out
>>28743680
>2/10
It can't be real. Cure your appaerance: get a haircut, shave, wear something decent and if necessary use some creams for you skin.
>>28742503
Same here. The nicest people to me were Chads and his Stacey cohorts. The meanest were typical betas you can find on r9k.
>>28743719
Posted pic on soc once and the highest I was rated was a 2 while most were 1s and a few 0s as well.
>>28743813
/soc/ is a shithole. Post one, I'll tell you for real what your score is. I expect a 4 or 5.
>>28743672
I'm not him but I understand where you're coming from, since I've been there.
Getting invited to parties is hard if you don't use social networks. I don't, but I have some strategies.
>hang out with normies when they're in groups
>ask the leader some questions, get along with him
>wait until they make plans
>can guide the conversation that way by talking about booze, chicks and parties
>if they make a plan, say you'd like to go
>if the alpha male of the group likes you, you're in
Now I've found this one easier since I know how to game women better than men:
>meet a girl
>get along with her
>don't go full sexual, but don't hide your interest
>once she shows enough indicators of interest, ask her what she's doing on friday
>she'll probably talk about her plans
>if she has plans, tell her indirectly to invite you*
>if she doesn't, ask her out to a bar or something (this is even better imo cause you might get laid)
*this is the tricky part. I don't have solid advice on it.
>>28743720
Being in shape is always a plus. Fatass normies get away with it because they were normies to begin with. Going from robot to normie is much easier when your body looks decent.
>>28743835
/soc/ is actually pretty nice. They do the normie thing where you rate really attractive people as less attractive than they really are and ugly people as higher than they are.
It's just courtesy.
>>28743848
>the leader
This always seemed so strange to me. It was like some wolf pack shit, but it's never explicit. Like some guy, through natural charisma or whatever, everyone just naturally looks to to set the tone for conversations. Some normie explain what's going on here, can't they be equal?
>>28743076
How do I get into ebin situations that leave me with ebin stories to tell? Do I just go into countries full of non-whites/slavs and go drinking?
>>28743880
>Being in shape is always a plus
Good point
>>28743954
It seems strange to us because we're autistic to some degree. Maybe not legit autists, but more compared to normies, so we can't see invisible traits such as charisma with ease.
To infiltrate a groups successfully, a good idea is to talk to some of the beta males and validate them like a motherfucker, then ask some questions to the alpha male so he talks to you about his life a bit. You need to validate him too, and he'll ask you questions and validate you back. Once he does, you've gained the trust of the whole group.
It may be intimidating but alpha males are usually nice as fuck, specially when they're not around women.
So we are going out, now what?
>shower
>see if there's a dress code on the facebook event, check the website of the bar/club you are going and see their dress code and any fees (cover fee, coat check, cash only bar but they have an ATM that charges $10 per withdrawal, etc)
>dress appropriately, brush your teeth, use deodorant, a LITTLE of cologne, nothing overpowering, wear clean clothes
>once you know where you are going to go, set a budget for yourself, withdraw it in cash, and leave your debit card in the car/home
>bring cash, credit card if have one, phone, and ID. Avoid bulky wallet, it may get lost or stolen
See >>28742522 for sample pricing
>either go to pregame location (no need to bring anything but beer/food may be appreciated if the host didn't think ahead)
>or go straight to the club/bar/lounge
>ask host if you are on a list, to waive the cover fee is there is one
>have your ID and cover fee in cash ready or the name of the list to enter free
>they may stamp your hands or give you a wristband, don't freak out
>if you are early, go to the bar and get a drink
>lost of weird advice online on how to order at a bar, go ahead and ask a super complicated cocktail in the specific way using bartending lingo like askmen.com suggests OR ask for a alcohol+mixer, and the bartender will understand because we all speak english, OR order from the cocktail menu/tap beer selection to go full normie
>tip $5+ so the bartender won't ignore you going forward, then tip $1 after every other drink you order
>put your credit card down for a tab if possible
>>28743954
It's exactly as /r9k/ describes it. You have four tiers of people.
1. Alpha
2. Normie
3. Cyborg
3. Beta
Alphas and normies can hang out together, but the alpha always get the first choice on where to go, what to do, and what girl he gets. Betas are just not included in this equation and must only hang out with other betas. Cyborgs can hang out with everyone but they will never get explicitly invited to anything, and will never score with a girl. If he stops for one second to maintain his little social standing, he gets demoted. Placement in these tiers is based on looks, social skills, having other friends related to the group and to a lesser degree wealth.
I'm a cyborg, so I've spent a lot of time with normies
>>28742503
many normies talk shit behind people's backs.They have strength in numbers, but are cowardly in one-on-ones. That's why they hang out with people they hate. I've seen normies talk shit about a guy the moment he left to go to the bathroom, only to smile and converse with him once he returned. I learned to accept that the normies that I hung out with in high school would talk shit about me whenever I wasn't there.
Chads/Stacies, as ruthless as they may appear to you, realize that you are inferior. They know it, you know it, we all know it. It's the average/borderline ugly normies that talk the most shit because they desperately want to be Chad but have various insecurities holding them back.
>>28742710
Re tip 1: Normies love irony/sarcasm. It's how I milk the most laughs from them and helps distract from my social retardation. You may risk becoming the weird guy that no one takes seriously, but at least they don't completely loathe you.
Tip 2: Yes. Yes. Yes. Normies will look at you funny and go "lmao anon what are you talking about?!". Stay within the realm of normiedom. I assume you are in your late teens or early twenties, so The Office, How I Met Your Mother and Spongebob should be surefire reference shows, as well as Will Ferrell and big box-office comedies. Forrest Gump, Pulp Fiction (maybe; most normies are only familiar with the name-try Inglorious Basterds or Django instead). Don't pull out obscure references, you will oust yourself as a creep/outsider. If it's not on Netfilx/their nostalgia radar, don't bother.
>>28744096
Cyborgs can score with a girl. Once they do, they become normies, but they have the capacity of upgrading.
>>28744035
So we are going out, now what? part 2
When going out, Credit Card > Cash >>>>>> Debit card. Never use your debit card. If you lose your credit card and someone uses it, you can dispute it with VISA/Mastercard/Chase etc or your bank and you'll get the balance removed in a few days, definitelly before the 25 grace period you have to pay any balance back without interest. If they don't take cards, use cash. Never used your debit card, if it gets lost and someone uses up your whole paycheck, it could take the bank 14-20 days to get it back, so just don't even risk it and leave your debit card home.
>hang out by the bar until your contacts arrive
>check facebook/texts and let them know where you are so they can join you, or you can together join the reservation if there was one
>if everyone is there, just mingle, ask about work, travel, school, hobbies, etc
>ask questions, answer questions, listen to their stories, etc
>make sure you always have a drink in hand, or someone will order one for you and it may be stronger/different than what you prefer
>if you are celebrating someone in particular, order a shot for at least you and that person to do together
>careful when ordering bottle service, set the expectation with at least a few other guests that you will share the expense
>be wary of inviting drinks and shots and other such expensive items to girls in the group that you don't know very well, as they may leave the party at any moment with someone else or on their own and you just wasted $200 to impress someone who isn't there anymore
>limit yourself to $20 per girl you want to impress, if possible
>dance, grind, guide her away from the eyes of the group and more into the dancefloor where you are hidden by strangers before getting more hands-on if she is feeling it
>tip: if she is not into you, she won't dance with you alone, she'll always make sure it's in a circle of friends. if she's dancing with you alone, then she's into you guaranteed.
The final barrier for me has always been romantic. I can shoot the shit with people with no problem, unless they're putting in no effort and obviously don't want to talk, which is on them. I slowly got better at dealing with group stuff. I can talk to women just fine if I'm just thinking of them as people, I can even do that sort of teasing flirty convo. But if I actually like them I just hit a point I can't go past, I dunno how to actually break the touch barrier or get to hang out with them one on one in a date context.
I think a lot of cyborgs are like this. Might be the defining trait of cyborgs. People wouldn't think we were virgins off the bat, we can talk and hang out with them fine, don't act weird around girls in casual settings. But we can never get with a girl.
>>28744160
No. If you score with a girl, you were already a normie, you just fucking suck at it.
>>28744104
Pulp fiction is a no go, I tried to pull a pulp fiction reference to a group of normies and they didn't get it. I even said the title of the movie before I gave the reference they literally only care about smoking weed and rap lyrics.
>>28742710
Never show up early
>>28743954
In my mind the "leader" is the "superior one" of the group or "the best" one of the group. The superiority is usually measured in several aspects, such as intelligence, looks, wealth, social ability etc.
>>28744167
>Never used your debit card, if it gets lost and someone uses up your whole paycheck, it could take the bank 14-20 days to get it back
>debit cards without pins
lmao amerifats
>>28744291
"credit please"
*forges signature if it's required*
happens a lot
You guys don't need to be completely anti-intellectual depending on the group. It's all about knowing your audience. GOT, Deadpool, Spongebob, Will Farrell movies, etc are very safe and should go fine, but some people aren't braindead and will welcome a conversation about languages, history, science, literature.
But only if you actually know these people can you pull this off. If you're running with an intelligent crowd and you're trying to appeal to the lowest common denominator by referencing The Ballad of Ricky Bobby and Step-Brothers all night, they might think you're just kinda boring and stupid.
Wit and being quick thinking in replying is also very useful for getting people to like you.
>>28744170
I used to be like that. This should help.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuvL7Dk8x8s
Skip to the part when he's talking to a girl.
In general, look for indicators of interests. When she laughs at the shit you say, plays with her hair, touches you or asks questions about you, she's showing her interest. Count three or so and go from flirty to sexy, then three more and start getting close. If she gets closer to you, within kiss range, switch your gaze between her left eye, right eye and lips. If you catch her staring at your mouth, you're game.
>>28744329
This, all the bullshit debates you had online about things you know nothing about comes into play here, you can be a "smart guy" just spewing retardation to the average normie, then go back to talking about "muh nostalgia" to the main group.
You must listen to rap and spew the lyrics randomly, normies love this.
Remember you will never be the alpha most likely so all of this is just so you can appear normal for your own perverse reasons.
Protips for dancing at the club. This nigger's videos are ridiculously comfy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Az1ctxrMIY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkGWqhM9u5s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdEFixGHZg8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXEGSdTOSW4
I find it a futile effort for the majority of people here to attempt to be like this.
Depending on who the normies are, they are going to talk about their previous relationships and sexual encounters very openly. Most people here have absolutely nothing to speak of and YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO FAKE THIS.
The interactions of most normies are paper thin, based on white lies and pretending to like one another for personal social status. They can smell a liar from a mile away because they are experts at it.
Basically a party is about showing off, it's about trying to appear confident and normie and FUN FUN FUN as well as cool ect.
Normies love fun, like romans watching gladiators rape each other with pointy objects, it's all about entertainment, it's all about the dance, the act, you are an actor and your performance is what women want, not reality or substance, you must win the crowd.
>>28744583
>Basically a party is about showing off, it's about trying to appear confident and normie and FUN FUN FUN as well as cool ect.
What if normies are actually. having. fun?
>>28743076
Don Q! Niceeeee
>>28744597
That is what fun is for them
>>28744525
Not if you're a master liar yourself. Speaking from experience, I managed to convince a small social group that I'm an alpha Chad and fucked a lot of women. The ironic part is that a lot of this social group are beta bucks themselves when talking to me individually and always ask for advise with women, I usually come up with some bullshit.
Depending on where you are (I'm mostly around the US mid-west, so I can't speak for everywhere else), people ACTUALLY having sex isn't all that common as much as people pretending to have had sex are.
>>28744583
Pretty much this, you need to be able to work a crowd and blend in well with them. Sarcastic off-comments work when someone tries to figure you out.
>>28744597
Yeah I'm having fun too :^))))
>>28744525
That's why you simply don't talk about shit and just ask questions and give validation. If you're asked you can even say you're a virgin in an ironical tone and guys might try to hook you up with a girl (again ironically) to tease you and tease her.
Confidence is key. Just be yourself is usually bullshit, but if you're in a situation in which people are talking about sex and they ask you personally to share experiences, you go and say "nah man I'm actually a kissless virgin. I've never even touched a girl". No one will believe it, and since it's true, you can say it naturally. You can fake being a fake virgin, then switch topics or even talk about your fantasies and say that a "guy you know" did it. They'll think you're talking about yourself as you game them.
>>28742410
>tfw used to play chess on that same board with my dad
>now he's dead and the board's gone somewhere
>>28744583
A party is completely the opposite of showing off. You wanna be the guy who other guys show off to, not the one showing off.
>>28744653
This, confidence is everything to normies.
You must have no weaknesses, you are god.
You failed school because of some other reason then your own weakness, you failed college for some other reason then your own weakness, you're a virgin because you haven't found the right girl ect. ect. all that matters is you are amazing.
>>28744653
You can easily pretend you aren't a virgin up until the time for sex actually comes. We've all watched porn here, after all. Bullshitting is easy, especially if you're just vague enough to keep them entertained.
>>28742906
I'm light headed just imagining this shit. There's no way in hell I could ever do that.
>>28744706
Exactly, you are cool and everyone is cool except the guy you're all making fun of and you're all supporting your illusion of self worth so girls will think she's with a cool group of cool people doing the one thing cool people do.
>>28744741
You're not gonna do it tomorrow. You'll do it in months, maybe years of constant practice.
>>28744659
you still have this board
/r9k/ will be with you until the end, and beyond
>>28744827
Anonymous posters online can't be friends, even long distance skype fags or steamfags aren't your friends, there's no substitute for having your irl group.
Even nothing is better then a convenient lie.
4chan is an addiction like any other form of social media, you get the socializing behind a mask.
>>28743072
this seems like good advice but this
>dont talk about yourself more than the other person
>only talk about yourself when asked
Is where I have the biggest difficulty. I am perfectly fine not talking about myself at all because I am a huge loser and have nothing to talk about and would expose myself as a loser if I tried to, but I cannot gather myself to CARE about other peoples' lives when I am not involved in them. I don't care about what people did over the weekend, or about what their friend did at the thing they went to, or them complaining about stupid shit in their lives. I don't see the point of liking photos/things on Twitter or Instagram, or upvoting/downvoting posts on Reddit.
I know, it's autism or aspergers or whatever.
Does watching rom coms help with developing a successful persona with women?
>>28744909
No, if you want a good reference watch Tom Cruise films instead.
>>28744882
That's where you pretend. Do it like any other chore. Just like a couple of random photos on facebook or whatever, log in for a few minutes per day (a cell phone helps a ton, also means you don't need to tie up your based rig to fagbook and twatter, also prevents pornhub accidents)
>>28742410
>Become fit- Go to /fit/
>Read the sticky.
>Follow it.
>If you have a hard start, first for a while do this:
>Eat less kcal than you spend.
>Use the app Noom to track calories.
>Caynax & Sworkit apps for free training programs.
>Learn to deal with your feelings.
>Read "How to manage depression with CBT for dummies".
>Use the apps CBT Diary, CBTi Coach and Life Strategy to track your feelings, dreams and fears.
>Organize your life.
>Track your tasks with the apps Taskhammer, Life Strategy, Raise the Bar & My Class Schedule.
>Learn to meditate or pray.
>"The Courage to be", "Way of the peaceful warrior", "The concept of anxiety" "The power of now" & "The Way of a Pilgrim" are great places to start.
>Become more social.
>Read "No more Mr. Nice Guy", "how to win friends and influence people", "The 48 laws of power", "How to make anyone fall in love with you" and "The way of the superior man".
>Learn what they offer (write it down on cards) and practice it.
>Join a club/ Hobby group.
>Do social work.
>Go out.
>Sleep more, and more regularly
>Wear fitting clothes.
>Have good hygiene.
>Practice, practice, practice...
=> Be normal.
>>28744926
Tom Cruise is too happy all the time I need something a little more moderate.
>>28742906
god damn that looks good
orgenalio
>>28744944
But I mean what does "liking" photos or statuses on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc really do?
>>28744882
You don't need to care, the idea is that you talk to them for fun. Not because you truly give a shit, but because hearing about someone else's bullshit is more fun than doing nothing.
>>28744775
I couldn't even try it, I would rather kill myself than humiliate myself that much.
any chad here can share a skin fix trick?
my skin is fucked up but my face is ratherly ok
>>28744965
I pretend I am Brad Pitt in Meet Joe Black. It works a hell lot.
A girl likes me. This happened for the first time in my life not long ago, right after I watched that movie and decided to be Joe Black. The film blows but there's a lot to be learnt.
>>28743680
And so? As long as you do not suck as well socially, you have the potential to be fine.
Have a friend with a birth defect that causes his mouth be like 30 degree crooked, and both one eye and one of his ears are really small, and while he most likely will never have a gf/ sex because of that, he is socially competent enough to be invited to all kind of cool parties by all kind of dope people, including the stacies.
>>28744313
>not having a credit card with a pin
Fucking amerifats
Another thing is that I think I don't really care about the "complaints" that normies have because of what I've been through. Not abuse or anything, but the years of friendlessness and being more or less completely alone have made me realize what real problems are
When I hear normies complain about their bullshit, like that there was some minor inconvenience at work, or some slight relationship issue, or some other mundane shit like that, it just literally makes me angry to hear about the things they have the audacity to complain about. I have to hold myself back from flipping out or insulting them about it.
I know that complaining is one of peoples' favorite things to do, but I just can't stand it.
>>28744972
Validation for them. Means you're apart of their 'in-group' and support and 'enjoy' what they do. Makes you look 'fun-loving' and shit like that.
>>28744977
THIS. Most people apart of a social circle actually genuinely hate each other. Even the people who act like best friends in public will shittalk said "best friend" behind their back.
>>28744988
All you need to do is pretend. I find people that bullshit online as a start have an easier time becoming a normie. MOST normies outwardly pretend anyway.
I know this one guy who managed to score with a girl through bullshit and when I briefly visited his place, he had an anime desktop with Minecraft and Dota 2 on it.
What's the minimum for getting laid OR close to it without working out? Skinnyfat?
What happens to me exactly?
I have plenty of good friends and I am pretty talkative
but I can't talk to girls t b h
>>28745058
You can run credit on debit cards
>>28745064
Use it to your favor. Don't get angry, instead tell them it could be worse. Tell them they're drowning in a glass of water, that they have great lives and nothing to complain about. Do it with a smile on your face, and that's the best validation you can get.
>>28742906
i literally just ordered sushi with some friends because of this picture
>>28745129
save me a piece you fucking normie cumstain
>>28745064
>>28745116
The main thing is not to care about them. If you actually start caring for good or bad, like getting angry or even empathizing too much, you lose. They might complain about their life but they won't want you getting TOO deep into it. If you try to say, pity-fuck a girl, you will actually reveal your powerlevel because at the end of it she'll either go 'fuck off' or tell you 'lol what? i wasnt being that serious...'
I'm 24 years old and I don't think I have ever had a real, in-depth conversation with anyone, including my own parents.
Basically all my interactions with people are just me making sarcastic/ironic observations about what's going on around me. They are always laughing at what I say, how funny I am, etc, but I haven't had friends since I was probably 12 or 13 and I'm a kissless virgin never even asked a girl out
I don't even know how I would have a normal, in-depth conversation with anyone without sperging out, and this is basically the basis of having a relationship with someone
>>28742474
I found people how are able to tolerate my social inexperience, but then again i would classify myself as a cyborg, not robot
>>28745180
eww you sound needy, go away.
>>28745193
how do you know they "tolerate" it? have they told you that?
>>28744349
This is actually a pretty brilliant video for the single reason that it conveys you must literally hypnotize people into having sex with you
>>28745172
Not only that but if you try something stupid like that she'll tell all her friends and their friends and your road to normieism gets a huge roadblock.
>>28745194
how is that needy
>>28745160
only if youll be nice to me anon
and then ill fuck you good
>>28745275
It's needy because most people these days don't even have relationships. Normies don't get as much as you may think they do.
>>28745385
On second thought I don't want anything you've touched
>>28743072
>swing from being friendly to being a dick to being completely uninterested for no reason when you interact with girls you're interested in
This is the hardest one
>>28742410
Normie here, ask me anything.
I once almost became a robit. I'd like to help yall out.
>>28745440
How did you almost become a robot?
Do you have a gf?
Did you ever have sex?
>>28742410
That chess board looks really big in that picture. You must all be manlets.
>>28745430
Half correct.
Normies don't have souls
>>28745440
Why would we ask a normie for robot problems?
Check your privilege
If you are attractive, look at women with a blank face and a halfway open mouth, looks hot as fuck
>>28745430
But what is needy about what I said? That the fact that I've never had an in-depth conversation with anyone means I will likely never have one
>>28743072
>>avoid saying bad things about yourself in general
what happened to self-deprecation being funny though?
>>28745461
Basically got to a point where I was NEET with zero social skills, no friends, never left my room, didn't drive, didn't take care of anything. That was between the time I was like 17-20
Yes, have a girlfriend. We live together, we were up late drinking and playing games and she's still asleep.
I had sex throughout highschool despite having no social skills or friends. I guess I was just lucky. This one super stacy girl liked me and we dated for a while. I broke up with her because I couldn't handle being around groups of her friends. Currently 25 and every once in a while she still messages me that she misses me. Shit blows my mind.
>>28745549
>This one super stacy girl liked me and we dated for a while. I broke up with her because I couldn't handle being around groups of her friends. Currently 25 and every once in a while she still messages me that she misses me. Shit blows my mind.
is she still a super stacy? what are you interactions with her like when she messages you?
>>28742410
That pic makes me uncomfortable.
>>28742410
They look like they're doing casting for power rangers
>>28745531
Only do that when something bad about you is said.
>>28745584
Sort of. She still has tons and tons of friends and her life revolves around stupid gossip and who said what to who. She got married and bought a house, last time I saw her she legit put on about 100lbs.
She was actually a pretty nice person and she really cared a lot about me even when no one else did, I just couldn't stand her obsession with having to be the center of attention and hated her friends and how we couldn't do anything or go anywhere without running into people that she knew and having them come with us to whatever we were doing.
She was really upset about it and never really got over it. I think maybe i've always been some kind of unobtainable fruit or something and that probably bothers the living shit out of her.
She'll just ask how I am and what I'm doing. I'll make pleasant conversation for a while. Last week she invited me to go to a bar trivia thing which would be cool but I'm sure it'll just be a repeat of when we were dating, with her stupid as fuck friends. I guess I just eventually stop texting her back and then a few days/weeks/months later she'll ask how I'm doing.
>>28745792
Holy shit she is married and still contacts you saying how she misses you and hangs out with you?
Damn dude she would probably cheat on her husband with you. Husband is a cuck
>>28745827
Lol I actually fucking hate her husband, so as much as I'm happy in my relationship and don't want to have sex with her, but cucking her husband would be 10/10
>>28745906
is her husband a chad from hs who bullied you
>>28742976
Just treat life like an rpg
>tfw a good thread dies
bring it back
>>28745531
Sometimes you can't help it. Like, if someone asks you how you did on a test you did poorly, you can't lie and say you did great. Then you can use self-depreciation humor. But as long as you can, you shouldn't put yourself down.
>>28746369
>you can't lie and say you did great
You can if they're not in your class. Sometimes you want to say you did 'alright' and boast mediocre results. Remember, normies will see you as a nerd if you've scored too high in something. It's ironic but you can't boast achievements, at least not intellectual ones, to normies. Boast you have a lot of money, or that you bought a new house, but never try with college/high school results.
>>28743802
Yeah this is weird
>go through school
>typical chad/stacies give me shit
>have some 'normal' friends
>leave school
>years later
>bump into the chads, couldn't be happier to see me and ultra-friendly
>all the 'normals' are just kinda cunts
>>28743629
noooooroiogoionoaoloooooooooo kek
>>28746600
All the Chads from my high school years have become 100% failures. There's this one alpha bully dude that's nowhere to be found after he got a bad addiction to drugs and alchohol. There's this one guy that used to get all the girls and his parents were getting him in all the good places through money. Now he's full dude weed lmao and even converted to rastafarianism. Then there's the sports team captain who dropped out of college several times and is more overweight than me now.
Not sure where this Chads become bosses meme comes from.
>>28745095
being a billionaire... so go lift faggot
>>28746505
You can lie. It can work. I'm against it cause I'm not a good liar. If you're too perfect, you come off as weird anyways. You can't hide everything bad about yourself. Every time you reveal a negative aspect about yourself, it should be done in a humorous light.
Boasting is not a good idea in general. The only thing I'd boast about, if it was true, is about having a big dick. I'd boast about having money as well but only if I was willing to give normies free shit and benefits.
>>28746759
I live in the UK so most chads just go straight into the building business (probably either a dad or uncle family owned business) which seems to be a ticket to mad cash. I don't know if it's the same in the USA since I imagine houses for the most part are cheaper over there (no real clue on this though)
Most of the normies go into office work and management shit but both of them seem to have a decent amount of success.
>>28746865
I'm not saying lie about everything and make yourself out to be perfect. As I said, if you are ACTUALLY perfect in some area (high grades on something etc) normies will actually consider you to be too good, a nerd, etc.
See the thing about normies is that they mostly only ever accept mediocrity. Unless you're a richfag and it's about you giving them money, then they'll worship THAT aspect of you but shit on you in private anyway.
>>28746866
Depends on family status more than Chad/Normie/Beta status honestly. You can inherit a fortune and just sit in your mansion all day doing much of the same any poor robot does. People who 'control the world behind the scenes' like Rotschilds are pretty beta.
>>28743072
I forgot the most important rule after eye contact.
>do not give explanations
This is a huge rule. I often get the urge to break it, and every time I do I regret it.
Never explain your behavior. NEVER. Even when asked why you did something, you should shift the question "why do you wanna know? is it such a big deal?", pretend you were acting in impulse "I felt like. is there a problem?" or just shut up and wait for the other person to keep pressing until they give up.
Never justify any of your thoughts or actions. Golden rule.
>>28746955
Yeah normies are like that. If you lend some money to a 'friend' he'll go 'look at that faggot flaunting his money around, probably a cunt who never worked a day' etc.
>tfw decently attractive male after losing 60 lbs and getting myself reasonably fit
>good at acting professional in regards to work
>otherwise socially non-existant and have no idea how to find friends (let alone a girl)
>only leave the house to go to work at a comfy museum job or buy food
>try online dating (thanks r9k)
>meet qt with a similar story (was fat, lonely sperg in high school, but got fit and still has no friends)
>now get to sit in my room listening to music and watching anime with my tomoko pixie dream girl
I have ascended to a new level.
May all of you, my brothers, experience these feels one day.
>>28742503
Same here, it's a strange /r9k/ problem.
>>28743072
I'm all this except I'm not in shape. I'm too damn lazy to be. It's not that bad though, I'm just skinnyfat not a fat ass.
>>28746955
I agree with that. If you're actually perfect in an area, you gotta play it like it's no big deal, that you could be better.
Lying is useful just like hiding, there are just some things that can't be told. It's playing with fire sometimes, but being honest is burning yourself on purpose.
>>28747029
Lets see her anon, she sounds cute. And what website did you try for online dating?
>>28747064
A good topic to bring up on that is, when the subject of house parties comes up; how do you deal with avoiding them seeing your battlestation and essentially figuring out your powerlevel through it? Parents too.
You can't just go 'oh I barely use it', I'd say it's better to just say that you live on rent and your place is far too small for gatherings. Alternatively if you have money and have a lot of effort you could rent some place occasionally and say its your's.
>>28743596
Please explain why should anyone do it.
And how to do it without looking/feeling like a rapist/serial killer.
>>28743629
Hue hue italy hue
>>28747164
If you want people around you the things that surround you must make sense according to your character. Don't hide about your interest in video games if you have a huge battle station. Say you play Battlefield on max graphics or something normies can dig, and talk about how much you like blowing shit up when you're hung over.
>>28747246
Eh, not like you'd want them around you constantly. After all you're just acting the part, not literally trying to become a normie.
I'm more of talking about them avoiding seeing your weird fetish porn collection and shit like that, but I guess you could just say PC's busted and no point in them turning it on.
>>28743072
>be interestED not interestING
can somebody explain?
>>28742445
Sounds awful. Waste of a weekend imo
>>28746369
I mean like if people tease you about something, if you can be self-deprecating.
Like I'll occasionally have/had people tease me about something physical about me like my weird looking face or whatever, and I'll make a joke about myself too, that kind of self-deprecating. Now about grades on a test wtf
Something I've noticed that normies also do is that they will tease you about something and if you get upset about it rather than taking the joke, they'll tell you to stop taking things so seriously. But then if you tease them back, they take it personally and call you an asshole, like they're allowed to insult you but you can't to them
>>28747292
Organize your shit. I used my computer in front of a girl the other day. She praised me for the background and said she likes Silent Hill too. The hentai games, CP and 4chan are hidden, though, so I can use my computer to watch Netflix with her without she finding out I'm actually a creep.I don't even play Silent Hill.
>>28747363
What if you have two computers? Say a laptop or a smaller desktop for normie shit and you go full Batman and uncover your monster battlestation when you're alone. Again, only if you have some money saved.
>>28747205
To interact with people everywhere you go. They'll move around you and you'll dominate the street with your presence. Do it once and you'll find out immediately why it's so important.
>>28747317
You're interested in someone else. You ask them about themselves and talk about them. If they ask about you, be humble and switch the topic quickly back to them. You don't give a fuck about yourself (lies), you just care about the person who's in front of you. That's how you get people to like you.
It's mostly for people you don't know and women, though. Normal guys will get bored of your shit fast.
>>28747406
Even better. You can show your battlestation which you use for "Call of Duty and Fifa" without having to turn it on, and use your laptop for use around normies.
>>28747346
>Now about grades on a test wtf
First thing that came to mind. Been dealing with that bullshit lately. Anyways, the point is, you don't talk negative about yourself when you can help it. When you do, you use self deprecating humor.
>yeah I'm fucking ugly lol fuck my mother
In general, insulting normies is a bad idea unless the insult is something silly. Like if a girl throws some trash on the street you can tell her "why are you so fucking dirty" but when you tease them about something personal you might hurt their feelings. Normies are not as numb to pain as us and it's easy to step on a landmine, so you better avoid anything that could be mean to them.
>>28744421
KEEP ON DANCING, COMFY HOWCAST NIGGER
>>28744096
Actual scientific classification:
1. Uber-alpha
2. Situational alpha
3. Alpha
4. Sort-of alpha
5. Somewhat alpha
6. A little alpha
7. Alpha's best beta friend
8. Beta
9. Betamax
10. Robot
Inf. Virgin robot
>>28742445
>>28742465
Now do this till you drop. Or become depressed. Or both.
https://youtu.be/O2jj3YbgX_w
>>28745028
stop masturbating, shower once or more a day, eat less fat
>>28745047
It could have something to do with the pity factor
>>28747541
Seems like the best bet. What are all the normie games? Call of Duty, Fifa, Battlefield, yeah. I'm guessing GTA and Fallout too?
>>28748262
Normies masturbate though. Literally everyone under 40 does.
>>28742410
>Chad was born with opportunities to develop social skills and knowledge that I never got
Suck my dick you charlatan.
>>28747465
>Lies on top of lies
You can only stress this system so much. It WILL snap.
And all for what? This thread is about appealing to self-indulgent normies to hopefully make yourself better. You're no different than them. Sure you live different lives but r9k and normies have one thing in common: narcissistic as fuck. Literally same shit stink.
But don't let me stop you. For some this IS the goal.
>>28745938
No, he's a fucking telemarketer cuck who is a piece of shit and looks like a lizard. Also I know honestly she deserves someone who can both put up with her shit and encourage her to be a better person. I could encourage her to be a better person but couldn't put up with her shit, I guess he's the opposite.
>>28748509
>For some this IS the goal.
What do you mean by this?
>>28748509
I am not the same as normies. I am worse. That's why I've worked so much and I'm actively learning how to blend in every day and been this way for years.
And yeah, it DOES snap. And it's nasty. And you end up hurting people that you worked so hard for when they realize you're just a sad version of what they thought you were, that as much as they'd like to love you they'd rather have you the fuck away from their lives.
But for some of us, it's either that or being alone and sexless for the rest of our lives. I didn't chose this, I'm just being a piece of shit to survive.
>Not joining a cycling club and learning from the dad-Chads.
Lol step it up guys.
>>28748804
>I am worse
Please shut the hell up. You, and anyone else here who thinks they are worse than normies, are complete idiots. What makes you think that any jackass npc (cause this is how you actually see them) off the street isn't capable of whatever bullshit you are?
If anything, being more self-aware gives you a better chance at showing empathy than most normies. The empathy that some if not most show is very shallow at best. People in general are extremely selfish and capable, and posting on an international frog trading forum does not put you above that.
However, treating people kindly, despite being mistreated, is rare.
>>28749207
>being a lycra wearing faggot who shaves his legs
no thx
>>28748369
I meant in a less regular way
Why would anyone want to BE a normalfag?
As someone who's actually experienced the normie life, I can tell you right now, it's not worth it.
>ITT failed normies because this is neo-r9k full of r edditors and memelords
I'm alpha Chad as fuck I just browse this board to laugh at aspie robots
>>28749275
I am not a worse person as a whole. I truly believe we're all equal. I'm just worse at their game and ended up here as a result.
I do feel a bit guilty. I make girls cry just so I can fuck them, cause being kind to them backfires. On one hand, it's kind of a sweet revenge since I have cried for girls that I was nice to but I was treated like shit as a result. I envy people who can be nice and caring and be loved in return, but being loved is something that is worth being a jackass and a liar for.
I am not successful yet but in the last two months I've experienced more love than in the rest of my life cause I figured out a huge part of the game. I hope I can help anyone who was as unloved as myself, just like other people have helped me so far and continue to do so.
>>28749503
Fuck me daddy! *string of emojis*
I enjoyed this thread, famalam. Good read. Barely making it to the surface of normiedom now, I think I'm starting to see how this game is played, and what triggers me to "descend" the ladder towards robotdom.
If you want to climb the ladder you have to take any advice and have an open mind. "robots" tend to become so defensive when flaws are pointed out, which is understandable. But we have to work through that to become better
>>28749503
im an aspie and i met a chad once that thought he could bully me. i ended up beating the shit out of him and all he did was curl up into a ball and yell "NO, PLEASE OW, OW, OW, OW, STOP!!!!"
>>28749546
>I make girls cry just so I can fuck them
This usually doesn't work dude.
>>28742685
Wouldn't that give them more incentive to mess with you?
>>28749604
It does. Girls like drama. They don't want to just feel happy, they wanna feel sad, angry, confused, insecure, troubled... the more emotions you make them feel, the closer they'll get to you.
Maybe not all girls are like that. But they often are.
cyborg here. interacting with normies is easy.
What you have to have is interests or hobbies. Have knowledge of things normies like-not extensive knowledge, just enough to conversate.
Next, be out spoken. If you're introverted, at least be able to talk when the moment calls for it. Always stand by your beliefs and be yourself.
Lastly, don't give a flying fuck what anybody thinks. They don't matter. Even if you slip up, unless is was some other shit, most will forget about it. Not everyone will like you, many chicks won't dig you. If you don't care about them and be yourself, you'll find people you can get along with.
>>28749461
id love to hear this one
>>28749686
Sure but once they figure you out you're doomed. I know a guy that tried to do this to a girl, he got exposed and then ended up being clingy and always calling her to try and get with her as desperately as possible. Dude became a laughing stock to those who knew of him and most of her friends.
>>28742550
learn an instrument. guitar is the go-to for most normies, but violins, drums, brass, or woodwind can offer a good challenge and experience. don't believe the meme about girls going nuts over guys who play guitar, though. it only works if you're attractive. learn to love music instead of trying to impress chicks.
>>28742489
I make beer, grow herbs and vegetables, cook , code and tinker with electronics
life doesn't seem any easier.
>>28749461
>>28749777
same here, let's hear how being a normie is bad
>>28749592
I would never bully anyone, I'm just a total normie and can talk to chicks, but I enjoy the threads here.
>>28750074
are you a large guy?
>>28749461
I want to belong to something
>>28742410
>normie parties are actually shit
>having normie friends is a lot less interesting than having your friends in your friend group
That's about it lads
>>28743076
>>"so i was traveling in puerto rico with a friend and we met this army guy, huge guy, with a really thick PR accent, biggest guy i've met and every time we would go out, we hould always get the same pink/redish drink, nothing else, so I asked what it was and he showed me it was a cranberry juice, with Don Q Limon rum, but it had to be that specific lime flavored rum, with 3 wedges of limes in it. so he ordered one for me and told me to always squeeze a wedge in there and mix it, and then it was ready. It didn't have a specific name, so every time he ordered it he would describe this to the waiter/bartender. so when i came back to the area I brought I few bottles from duty free and i brought one tonight, and I named them after him so this drink is called El Angelito, you guys want to to try?"
I would probably hang myself on the spot if I heard someone repeat this complete unremarkable and fucking boring story. It's nothing. It's fucking nothing. Literal garbage in word form.
>>28750097
Naw you just gotta have confidence and shower sometimes.
>>28750154
It's how most normie stories go. And surprise, most of them are made up.
>>28750110
Even worse if it's the type of normies that actually hate each other and only stick together cause they're the closest people around.
>>28750169
So a manlet like yourself can get women, pedro?
>>28750227
Sure can. I wish you luck amigo
If you're at a party, bring cigarettes even if you don't smoke, 1 reason is its a Chad way to get away from people and 2 it's a good excuse to talk to people or practically the only time you can talk to people, don't bring weed of its a "straight edge" party as well, There's a possible chance some straight edged Chad or even Stacy will tell you to fuck off and after that you're done for
I learnt that the hard way
>>28750200
So many times this
I've seen so many cases of where normies fuck Over each other usually arguing over a girl where they never talk again ruining their fake "friendship"
If you enjoy being with your friends then you should stay that way, I know that hanging with autists has its downsides but I really do regret not spending enough time with my actual friends
I fell into heavy drug use and became very popular. Would take loads of ketamine and coke, binge for weeks, then come back around to semi-sobriety with tons of people hitting me up to hang out.
>>28750432
dude drugs rofl
>>28750432
They just wanted to score from you, they didn't actually like you.
This is a fantastic thread.
This needs to be edited into a handbook or something like the Summa Theologica.
>>28750951
Summa Normielogica
I'm taking notes anons, I'm taking notes
>>28750951
Tractatus Normico-Philosophicus
>>28742710
Its usually bad to show up early in America.
Depending on how formal the event, show up on time for a formal party or 15-30 minutes after for just fucking about "fashionably late."
