There's no lotion in the house, or vaseline or anything jelly like. And I'm certainly not fucking a grapefruit. I've been doing it dry for like 2 years and I need a new method immediately.
>inb4 get a real girl
Get into urethral sounding, you won't go back
>>28734396
What the fuck is that, and why does it sound painful?
soap and water
or some type of oil, like vegetable oil, but it's way harder to wash off
>>28734430
Inserting shit into your urethra
>>28734453
jesus christ that does sound painful
>>28734447
soap and water hurt like hell if you use the wrong stuff
Doing it dry is either painful or doesn't feel satisfying. Just buy some vaseline and have the time of your life.
buy lube off amazon for $8?
get one with a dispenser top so you can push it down with your wrist or something.
seriously just do it now and you'll thank me later. why i kept using spit for 5+ years is retarded. finally a cheap rubber $15 sleeve and some lube all you need.
if you want to go god mode get one with a suction cup you can fuck in the shower. it just sticks to the wall
doggie + peanut butter
>>28734364
Try using condiments like mayonnaise or ketchup.
you can use my boypussy, anon
I am 24 years old and I have never masturbated before.
I have lotion that I have stroked my dick with a few times, and after only a few minutes my erection dies. I don't watch porn. Just yesterday I had a scary experience where my dick hurt bad after a few minutes and it was actually deformed, like around my corcumcision scar it was swollen and looked like a football and luckily it was fine by morning
I literally don't even know how to masturbate. And I'm 24 years old
>>28734364
Go back in time and stop the doctor from slicing your dick.
Does anyone else just use their thighs? Don't even need an erection.
>>28735165
if I do it dry I just use a few fingers and stimulate the tip, its less friction.
>>28734364
Use your saliva you dumb fuck
Just use your own spit, it works great.
I lick between my pointer finger and my middle finger, and stick my dick between them. Repeat a couple times, and you have a reasonably lubed dick.
Only downside is that you have to pause for a moment and re-lubricate, but the fact that you can do it anywhere for free makes it worth it.
Not sure if this would work on uncircumcised dicks, but if it doesn't then chalk one up for mutilated guys like me
Vegetable oil works fine. Try fapping while breathing heavily from your stomach. Pull on your balls. Massage your perineum (this one is kind of dangerous).
autism: the thread
originality at an all time high
>>28735165
Yep. R u by chance virgin bisexual and complete social outcast?
>>28735340
I'm straight, but I am those other two things; why?
>>28735271
>>28734447
Will that make your dick look like Guy Fieri?
>>28734496
What do you mean a sleeve? Like a fleshlight?
>>28734593
..... Might wanna see a doctor senpai
And potentially sue whoever did your circumcision
>>28735358
it won't, but the smell is strong
it WILL take you to flavortown
>>28735356
I have this theory that jerking off by rubbing my dick on my thigh has contributed greatly to my sexual anxiety and potentially if I have ED. Idk. But I've been doing it like this since I was like 7? years old humping a balled up blanket.
Fucking kill me God
>>28735528
>ED
I can't remember what that means atm.
>I've been doing it like this since I was like 7?
Same, and I didn't even understand what I was doing, it just felt good. I could do it fully clothed and it just looked like I was sitting with my legs crossed. I remember doing it while sitting on the couch with my dad watching TV and he questioned me:
>Why do you do that?
>Me: idk, it just feels good.
Oh god I think he knew.
>>28735613
Kek he definitely knew.
Senpai I swear this has fucked my life up. Once I get my own place im getting a fleshlight or something and never going back.
Ed as in erectile dysfunction, my dick never stands upwards and only goes straight out on very rare diamond occasions. Kinda hangs down ufeelme
jerk off with a banana peel. you can warm it up a little bit in the microwave first. it sounds gross but it feels really good and it's not messy.
Daily reminder that circumcision LITERALLY became popular in the US to make it harder and less pleasurable to masturbate by removing the foreskin, which is the penis's primary pleasure zone and built in vagina rolled into one.
>>28735642
>Ed as in erectile dysfunction, my dick never stands upwards and only goes straight out on very rare diamond occasions. Kinda hangs down ufeelme
Rub the area just above your penis, on your pubic mound. Do you feel kind of like a dent or hole there?
>>28734593
I'm sorry you were mutilated.
How tight is the remaining skin of your penis?
You can test it by getting an erection and making a fist around your penis. Gently try moving the fist up and down. Do not do it too hard.
Does the skin move along the shaft, or is it held tight against the underlying tissue?
>>28734364
>Cutfags problems
Feels good having a foreskin, no need of fucking lube to jerk off
Am I being memed or is using a lubricant to masturbate actually a thing? Why do you need it? I'm pretty sure people have been jacking off since time immemorial just fine without having to resort to chemical products.
>>28735857
It's hard to say senpai idk
What are you getting at though?
>>28735923
Because circumcision.
>>28735923
It's called being circumcised you retarded fucking euro, it's what soulless cucked parents do to their children in North America
I wish I was never circumcised. Fucking kike culture. Give me back my penis.
>>28735923
>In all cases, taken as they come, circumcision is undoubtedly the physician's closest friend and ally, offering as it does a certain means of alleviation and pronounced benefit, granting as it does immunity from after-reproach. Those cases in which the glans presents a moist, semi-oily appearance, with papillae strikingly developed about the corona, long thickened foreskin, pliant and giving, large and often tortuous dorsal veins, go to make up a picture that is exceedingly tempting to the surgeon's scissors.
>The whole operation, when the scissors and continuous suture are used, takes only four to six minutes - and time is a great consideration, especially in the case of the insane, even though local anaesthetics may be used. To obtain the best results one must cut away enough skin and mucous membrane to rather put it on the stretch when erections come later. There must be no play in the skin after the wound has thoroughly healed, but it must fit tightly over the penis, for should there be any play the patient will be found to readily resume his practice, not begrudging the time and extra energy required to produce the orgasm. It is true, however, that the longer it takes to have an orgasm, the less frequently it will be attempted, consequently the greater the benefit gained.
Edgar J. Spratling, "Masturbation in the adult", Medical Record, Vol. 48, 28 September 1895, p. 442-3
In short, guys with tight circumcisions can't move the skin freely back and forth over the penile shaft. Trying to do it can cause pain and even injuries.
If you're intact or have a loose cut, you can slide the skin along the penis, as shown in the gif here >>28735838
If you were tightly circumcised, the skin doesn't move. It's held tight against the penis's tunica albuginea. In cases like this, an artificial lubricant or a prosthetic foreskin (such as the banana peel suggested by this anon >>28735769) can partially compensate for the missing skin.
>>28735923
Lube helps prevent "death grip" which desensitizes the penis.
Fuck a pillow
Feels awesome
>>28735958
If your penis doesn't stand up straight when you have an erection, in some cases that can be due to a torn suspensory ligament. A telltale sign of a torn suspensory ligament is a hole or depression that can be felt in your pubic area, just before the beginnings of the base of your penile shaft (on the dorsal side)
A urologist can check to see if your suspensory ligament is torn. If it is, some surgeons can fix it in certain cases (but this does involve operating on your genital area, and could result in the penis looking a little smaller when flaccid).
>>28736004
>tfw pic relatedcomentarius originalis
>>28736018
Not only densitizes...it may lead to Peyronie's disease and impotence by maiming the underlying erectile tissue and blood vessels.
Death grip masturbation is dangerous and school sex eds should warn against it. Until masturbation (the primary form of sexual activity for many people, possibly even most people) becomes a part of sex ed, the whole thing is a sad joke bound by destructive puritanism.
>>28736055
Screenshotted
I'll figure that one out tomorrow anon
Thx u
>>28736165
np bro. good luck.
>>28734364
Ok if you drill a hole into a water melon and heat it in a microwave you'll feel so much better. Especially if you eat it afterwards
>>28736393
That seems like it could go really wrong if the watermelon gets too hot.
>>28735441
oh yeah you can buy them right off amazon. usually $10 or so, get it with the lube.
i never masturbate normally anymore. always with a sleeve. big bonus is that it holds the cum until you can dump it down the toilet or something. i like to dump it in there and don't flush so my boys can swim for a little while.
only problem is the anxiety if you think you forgot to put it away and left it out in the bathroom where your parents can find it.
only advice i can give you is to try and dry it out after you clean it. i like to put an old shirt over my index finger and just finger the rubber until I think it's dry enough to hide.
>>28734364
Recently I tried holding my foreskin back, exposing the head (normally it leaves like 10% of the head covered) and lubing the head and rubbing it and stuff. Feels amazing, like one long continuos orgasm for like minutes, but for some reason I end up pissing. Is my dick broken, someone please weigh in here, I'm really fucking scared. Feels too good though
>>28736898
Probably something to do with the way your wanking not releasing the anti-diuretic that you would usually release
>>28736898
Sounds like something to google pham
>Used to prone bone my bed when I was 5-10
>Used to get really hot but never came
>Around age 14 I placed my hand on my dick and kinda squeezed my fingers and palm to work the sides of my cock
>Done this 70% of the time compared to normal up/down motion
>>28734364
when i was younger and had no exposure to the internet, i rubbed my dick sideways, like I was starting a fire with sticksmy dick is now off center by 15 degrees
I always took one hand and rubbed my dick against my inner thigh
My cousin did the same, it's a family tradition
Why exactly I know this, I do not remember
>>28736898
I piss when I play with my knob alot..
Sorry op but [Spoiler] when femmes play with it I intentionally piss on them [/Spoiler]
>>28738245
nice spoilers senpai
who /posh wank/ here?
I'm late but I want everyone to know that shaving cream feels amazing and allows you to get easy suction with just your hands and if you fap with it long enough it dissolves and cleans itself up
>>28734364
I'v been practicing handles cumming by flexing my penis.
It feels really good, but takes a long time.
I wish I could suck myself off, I watch so much trransgender porn I ant to suck my dick and pretend I am sucking her dick, I am just not capable of doing it, the most I could manage was licking my own feet and I probably can't even do that anymore, I just want to suck a dick and it hurts that my own is so close but not close enough to my mouth.
