I WANT
A FUCKING
GIRLFRIEND
I SWEAR TO GOD I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE I'M ABOUT TO FUCKING EXPLODE WITH THE ACCUMULATED FORCE OF EACH AND EVERY SOLEMN NIGHT I'VE SPENT ALONE IN MY FUCKING ROOM WITHOUT COMFORT OR KIN, UTTERLY ALONE WITH ONLY ME MYSELF AND I AND
NO
FUCKING
GIRLFRIEND
I WANT A GIRLFRIEND NOW I'M TIRED OF NOT HAVING A GIRLFRIEND WHERE IS MY GIRLFRIEND WHY DO I ALWAYS NEVER HAVE A FUCKING GIRLFRIEND
THE NEXT TIME I PASS SOME STUPID SMUG IN-LOVE COUPLE ON THE SIDEWALK, PEOPLE WILL DIE
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>>28731839
How old are you? The only people on this board who complain about not having a girlfriend still have a chance at getting a girlfriend.
You got to earn one mate. It starts with being yourself
>>28731875
I'm 21.
Fucking origami.
>>28731933
Not sure what you're trying to accomplish with this post but you need to fuck off and do it somewhere else, in someone else's thread.
I had sex 3 hours ago with my girlfriend.
It was quick, dirty and cold.
I didn't enjoy it.
We'll likely cuddle for a movie tonight.
I don't know what to feel, but vaginal grip over your cock is amazing.
>>28731967
YEa you have plenty of time. You can start complaining and being sad when you are >25
You don't deserve a girlfriend
originality
SO HELP ME GOD IF I DON'T GET A FUCKING GIRLFRIEND SOON
GODAMMIT I'M TRYING TO CLING TO MY SENSE OF EMPATHY AND HUMANITY BUT CIRCUMSTANCES ARE MAKING IT VERY DIFFICULT AND I'M FUCKING SICK OF IT
If I can't get one and I'm 28, no way you are son
>>28731981
:(
bloxorsomething i am so alone someone shoot me
>>28731981
>vaginal grip
This is a thing? I've had sex before and I've never noticed anything like this.
>>28732013
>YEa you have plenty of time
Motherfucker are you dense, or just trying to dilute and invalidate the weight of my misery?
No, seriously, have your horrid existence taught you nothing?
>Time
means NOTHING.
>Time
slips away with an ever-increasing, exponential rate and 5 years can go by in the fucking blink of an eye! I remember the last time I had friends, 10 years ago, and I can't believe it's been a decade already! It feels like NOTHING, so don't give me this you've got
>Time
bullshit! I don't want to fucking hear it! Unless you've got tips, or are here to just straight up give me a girlfriend I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING HEAR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>28732068
You know what i mean, come on.
My gf has fucking thunder muscles insidet her shit, she enjoys fucking strangling my cock with that shit.
You sound deseperate, sad and lonely. You will never get a gf, kill youdrlf
>>28732181
....anon?
Are you o-okay?
>>28731839
Just go out more and be yourself.
Socialise.
i just want a goddamn girlfriend man
i just want a goddamn girl/boy/person to legitimately enjoy my company man
why is this shit so fucking hard i don't understand why i never have it
>>28732248
If you have to whine and bitch like a desperate beta boy, you will never get one. You're basically screaming "use me for my money! I'm thirsty AF!"
>>28732308
I'm usually quite relaxed and composed, nothing like this. What you just witnessed was a sudden bout of hyper-awareness towards my growing autistic inclinations and discontent.
I'm sorry.
Getting a gf is easy, it's having sex without strings with different girls that's hard.
To get a gf follow this system:
1)get girls to talk to
2)when the time is right (shorty after getting their #. Not days, hours) ask them directly "do you want to go on a date with me"
3)go bowling and then get cheap food at hole in the wall type place.
4) repeat 2-3 more dates with the girl you like the most and then make it official.
>>28732439
You lost me at step one.
>>28731839
Then go get one, its not that hard.
>>28732462
Use tinder, it's the easiest way to do step one. Or double down and use tinder, okc, pof, and practice tasking to girls ato the bar
>>28732166
I'm serious, I've never experienced it. My ex must have had no muscular control or something.
>>28732462
it is stupid easy, anon
seriously, fuck off with this bullshit
unless you're a complete basement shut-in, the world is full with billions of women
don't be an autistic sperg and like ask the first woman you meet, of course
>>28732506
How though.
>>28732514
My experiments with Tinder have all failed because I don't have any friends for fun looking group pictures and I don't know how to smile, and when I try teaching myself how to smile I get mad at the sight of my face in the mirror.
>>28732557
If I knew how to meet girls I wouldn't have made this thread, you fucking idiot. I'm not a shut-in. I routinely go see live music and ride my bike but I don't know how to initiate conversations and even if I could I'm not sure I know how to maintain them either.
>>28732563
You gotta sack up and do it. You don't need group photos. Just pics of yourself. You can also join a club. Join the rock climbing club and meet women there. I met some righteous girls there. Dat Rick climber bod
you're putting the cart before the horse. if you can't attract a mate it's probably an indicator that other things in your life are not together in the way that they should be.
fat? lose weight. no money? get a job. no friends? work on that. no social skills? try to open up more and improve.
if you expend half of the energy you use up complaining about the situation by putting it into improving yourself you will be that much closer to being desirable to other people
Tinder doesn't just magically get you laid. If you have no personality, then Tinder does nothing. Right now your personality is the type of guy who goes to sad lonely boards and adopts their slang way of speaking to complain like a toddler. Even if you're trolling, you're wasting your life on shit like this.
>>28732594
Biking and concerts aren't very social. Join a club. It's a bit intimidating, even for me but they're always friendly and fun
>>28732620
I still don't know how to smile.
>>28732629
>no friends? work on that.
Sure, because making friends as a University student in the middle of the fucking summer is something that happens, especially given the circumstances that bring me to this shitsink of a board.
>>28732639
You don't know anything about my personality.
>>28732651
I actually searched for a club earlier today but found nothing of interest in the region.
Can you suggest something specific, perhaps other than the rock climbing club?
>>28732701
you're a huge faggot
anyone who asks for advice and then takes the first opportunity to shit on the advice that gets given by any means necessary is a completely insufferable child and should be treated as such
I'm glad you don't have a girlfriend
>>28732594
i'm trying to help you, you fucking faggot
follow your dreams, and love will follow you
>>28732730
Your advice isn't advice. I know I need friends.
You simply telling me to make friends isn't going to help me make friends.
not OP here
what kind of clubs are the best ones to meet non-slut girls?
>>28732769
every woman is a slut
as much as every male is a prick, if given chance
everything comes down to possibilities
either you realize it and shake off your mystical dreams, or be unhappy for the rest of your life
>>28732765
Alright, alright. Calm down.
What's your biggest hurdle in regards to talking to people?
>>28732787
where do i meet the less slutty girls?
>>28732813
where do you meet male virgins and betas?
>>28732701
I'm in uni, so I'd advise to look online for an I Teresa. Many of the clubs overlap with non uni stuff. There's always dance clubs.
>>28732765
Naw you're shitting on the advice. He might be harsh, but plenty of good advice has been given in this thread, and the responses are like "I don't know how to smile"
>>28732835
anywhere
you can always spot the betafag in a group
>>28732790
A shyness so internalized that I don't even recognize it anymore, something I attribute to hyper-sensitivity and self-awareness, and my disbelief that most people would appreciate anything I had to say even if I mustered up the courage to say it. For that reason, I don't talk to people, and in the rare instance that someone initiates conversation with me, I immediately discourage their attempts through brief, yes/no responses that kill the interaction before it's even truly born.
Girl here,
I'm tired of you thirsty beta complaining about not getting pussy. It's a real turn off. I'm considered a very direct woman, so follow these crucial steps to at least get a 6/10
>Be attractive
Now being attractive isn't everything, but if you don't at least 8/10 looks, women will not even pay attention to you. Take care of your face and work out. If you're still ugly, get surgery or settle for some landwhale
>Be rich
The bare minimum is exactly $100, 000 a year. That's the economy for you. It's just the way it is. We want to be taken cared of. Even you do get a girl, she'll just leave you for the next rich alpha
>Social status
Chicks love it when you have connections and actually know how to talk to human beings. Not lonely social autist that can't even say two things to anyone. Having connections can come in handy in the future and doesn't hurt to be a person lots of people know.
>Nice car
All we want is to driven in a car that's not shitty. Just get a $20, 000 car. It's not too much to ask for. Oh and if you can't drive, consider suicide.
>Be tall
HOLY SHIT PLEASE BE TALL!
Why would a girl want to go out with a manlet? Theirs plenty of tall men for us you are not even worth the competition
>have big dick
Yup, size DOES matter. The whole "ocean" thing is bullshit. This is why we let black men do us.
>Don't be a virgin
Virgins are disgusting! They should be condemned to death. How are you still a virgin? Girls don't ask for much you know.
>Get rid of your pathetic interests
No more vidya, comics, anime weeabo shit, no porn, no more cartoons, MLP, and stop coming to this stupid Filipino image board. You're grown ass men, act like it.
>Be an asshole
We don't show it, but we love to be treated like stupid children. Why do you think women would stay with their abusive cheating boyfriends? But hey, if you are really nice, maybe we'll let you be our official orbiter.
That's it. Real easy if you ask me.
Don't forget-- just be yourself! :)
>>28732870
you know what to do now
unless you're aiming for stacies
>>28732900
your post is toxic and unrequired
you are the reason these poor bastards will kill themselves later on with their life
man or woman, you are doomed to suffer, like everyone else
>>28732915
no.
because is not easy to post the less-slutty girl in a group
>>28732878
I see. What's the cause of your hyper-sensitivity and self-awareness? As in, what are you worried about the most? Is it the whole not believing that other people appreciate what you have to say, or are you worried you'd look like an idiot for saying anything, or.?
>>28732868
>I Teresa
Is that supposed to mean something? I'm confused.
>dance clubs
Was at one last Friday for a show and every girl was there because her boyfriend brought her.
As for the advice, I don't mind harshness. I don't at all, but the advice is ambiguous and vague. As I said, I myself recognize that I need to make friends. I don't know how to make friends, though, so I'm here and telling me to simply make friends doesn't help me.
>>28732937
>It's toxic that losers stay losers and women get good healthy men
Lol right faggot
>>28732900
>Be tall
Well, there was almost some hope. But there it goes.
I know that is not the shit you want to hear, but think very very hard what a girlfriend will change for you man. I have one now and nothing much chnaged, other than that I get sex occassionally and that I have someone to hang out with, but on the other hand have to make time and room for her and keep my place clean as fuck at all times.
On the other hand, your obsession with getting a gf is probably the reason why you don't get one. I noticed it myself, when I tried to get one and hit on girls all the time and tried to chat up chicks online etc. it never worked. Gave up on that shit and focused on my passion and talked about that in groups, girls started to talk to me. Maybe something to keep in mind bro.
>>28732900
Even if this post isn't made in jest I'm going to ignore you because you're the type of woman that I want nothing to do with anyway.
>>28732953
Well, my delivery is scattered and uneven. I speak, and it's often said too fast, or two quiet, or with a series stutters, etc. You get the point. Also, people on this website have actually told me to never talk to people irl about my hobbies, because they're boring and no one would ever want a conversation tailored towards them. That said, I have a few "normie," hobbies like sports.
But I guess ultimately it's just a matter of insecurity, but given what I've already said in this post, I'd wager it's beyond insecurity and rather quite tangible aspects of my interaction and hobbies that have conditioned me to just not talk to other people.
Boy, I'm surprised nobody's posted this yet.
What about a bit of Dutch courage? A shot or two of something decent is bound to help. I ain't talking getting lit as fuck, which some folks seem to be absolutely obligated to do after downing their first drink.
But it might be something to consider. To me, drinking a bit has actually improved my social skills while sober. Just gotta recall how you act when you're a wee bit buzzed and copy it.
See, you've got a potential advantage here but you're using it in a completely negative way.
You've presumably got some brain cells to rub together, and you've got plenty of time. All that worrying you likely do, all that OH SHIT WHAT WOULD I DO IF SHE DID X OR HOW DO I EVEN START ETC. That shit can be turned into something positive.
You can think just as much about it, but do it rationally. Use your observations and experience in life to determine what is likely to achieve you desired end with someone. Think about what they'd like to hear, what they'd like to see, etc.
Now, I ain't saying to NOT "just BEEEE URSELF". But you've got to adjust yourself, improve yourself, adapt yourself. I'm not recommending making yourself into a blank slate, to be altered at will in each social encounter to manipulate them as you see fit.
Fuck man, I'm sorry if I'm ranting. I've got 9 more fucking hours of this goddamn shift, so I'll be here a minute.
Just trying to say that you're most likely more intelligent than much of your male competition and nearly certainly your intended females. Use that to your advantage, not your detriment.
>>28732248
It's because you're using a trip
>>28733128
alcohol can be either good or a disaster depending on what type of person you are. as someone who is also a robot when I start to drink the lowered inhibitions are too exciting and freeing for me and i become so caught up in the feeling of that that I tend to drink too much and be the most lit person in the room and it's just a bad scene.
basically if you have a tendency towards substance abuse or just an addictive streak I would steer clear of using substances to enhance your personality
>>28732900
Why the fuck are men still supposed to protect stupid broads like these
you think it's bad op? think about the people in prison, think about how hard the night is for them to pass.
you have it on easy mode.
go out for a walk and a smoke
>>28733186
Of course, salient point that you do make. I've seen some socially-awkward types certainly take it too hard on the dope or the booze. If you've no experience in this, I wouldn't recommend it straight-away unless you've got some friends willing to immerse you in the waters of degeneracy slowly.
Otherwise, I'd like to tentatively recommend a job requiring social interaction. I've gotten smoother by working at a hotel while at university, no doubt. Even if I'm just chatting to old fucks about politics, that IS translatable experience to chatting with girls.
I do recognize that I was extremely fortunate to make very close friends some years ago that improved my social prowess. I'd probably be fucking clueless if I hadn't met them.
Further, I saw that OP really didn't like peeping himself in the mirror. I've been there. When I WAS there, I certainly didn't have success with females.
You've gotta get to a point where you look in the mirror and you at least say "well, you don't look half-bad, motherfucker." Even better if you can say "damn, looking pretty fucking good!"
The process of developing confidence in appearance and ability is much more difficult to describe than the need of it. There are plenty of avenues of approach. Probably the easiest involve repeated self-delusion/deception.
Just don't forget that you are the sovereign of your mind, body, and soul. You can absolutely alter your thinking and thusly behavior through force of will.
You're the chief in charge, goddamnit!
>>28731839
While you're sitting at home typing furiously like a triggered aspie. Chad is at a party getting his dick sucked by your oneitis who is madly in love with him. Chad can give a fuck less about her and him nutting on her face even though she has to go back out into the crowd is his sign of showing his indifference to her feelings.
>>28733123
Alright. So I guess the main thing here is your insecurity, mainly due to how you speak. I know you don't have a girlfriend, obviously, but do you have any friends at all? An online one would probably be even better in this case, at least for now. You gotta start working on getting comfortable when speaking out loud, and a real easy way to do that is to find a buddy and get in a skype call (or whatever VOIP software) and just chat. You gotta build up that experience in talking to people. There's no other step one, this is seriously the first thing you need to do. A double whammy here would be to find someone who's interested in your hobbies too. What are they besides sports? Although sports is a pretty easy entry to finding someone to talk to about. Do you like icefight?
Anyway, once you get comfortable in talking to someone through a call and feel a little more confident in your ability to not rush through what you're saying or being too quiet, you can try working on the whole monosyllabic replies to other people thing. Essentially I think you need to rebuild your skill in being able to have a conversation. Like learning to walk again so you can run. In this case, you gotta learn to talk so you can court a girl.
>>28733368
So the answer is simple.
Work out and become Chad.
>>28733368
Do you guys get off by thinking about cuck fantasies or you guys get off thinking about the suffering of others?
>Probably both
>>28731839
>>28731839
A gf is not something you can own like a pencil.
With this much anger at not "having" one you would jsut be angry that whatever gf you get or the relationship in general does not live up to your fantasies. The people who get gf are those who are perfectly happy being single and when they are being social it just happens.The people who desperate for a gf are the ones that come on strong and blatantly hit on/stare at women and scare them away with their clinginess and neediness.
>>28733397
Other wall-of-text faggot here.
You're fucking spot-on, man.
Come to think of it, a lot of the social skill I have was actually gained online. I've had a bunch of great internet friends that I've played online with since around 2008. Hung out with the motherfuckers so much, I ended up treating a lot of unrelated IRL interactions just as I would hanging with the lads in TS3.
My perspective is sorta narrow; I don't really take into account that many folks don't use their spoken voice as much as others do. Really good post.
If you're having issues with syntax or semantic flow, like, putting your thoughts into succinct and coherent spoken format, you might try to crack open some fiction. Reading books always gave me myriad options for different sorts of diction to use in different situations.
And I only sound like a pretentious fucking cunt-stain like half the time!
>>28732755
>you can't criticize my shitty advice because "I'm trying to help"
End your life desu
>>28731839
why? just so you can have your fucking heart ripped out?
Learn from eggman. Work two jobs 80 hours a week and be a beta provider for a girl who doesn't really give a shit about him.
Lower your standards
I'm assuming you aren't attractive at all but you can get a nice homely girl to be your gf
>>28733498
Yeah, the guy definitely needs practice using his voice. Typing is a lot easier than speaking - you can review what you've written, edit it, spend 20 minutes on a post before submitting it for the world to see. Talking is instant and if you stand there for 10 seconds mulling in your head for the perfect response, that's something that people would think is weird.
There's also more to chatting than just the talking. People think silence is awkward but there's always lulls in conversation, and that's completely normal. You also learn to pick up on certain cues - the rise and fall of people's voice, when they speed up and when they slow down; generally the emotions that the person is indirectly conveying. That would help him enormously in showing him that people are interested in what he has to say, that they're not talking to him out of pity.
Plus, having someone to chat with him on a regular basis will, like you, help him treat people irl like how he'd treat his buddy. Real life conversations aren't that much different than online ones, you just throw in a little knowledge of facial and body language, which is usually pretty intuitive when paired with verbal cues. I think it would help him bring his shyness down to a manageable level - a small amount of shyness is also really normal if you find yourself in a new situation and/or you don't know anyone. Having the confidence to say "hi" is something you can learn to have, which would help him break out of his shell.
>>28733808
This shift is dragging its nuts right across my face, and I was hoping for some sort of rare-ass workshop-type discussion to help this motherfucker out.
Most times I end up vomiting walls of (hopefully) helpful text, seems to scare folks off. The pessimistic part of me says it is because the purpose of these threads is not self-improvement but self-pity and wallowing in self-inflicted suffering as a perverse badge of honor.
But then I reckon I'm being selfish and just wanting that feeling of "OH BOY IM SO SUPERIOR I HELPED THIS POOR CUNT OUT OVER THE INTERNET I HAVE BEEN VALIDATED"
But for real, c'mon OP, let's give it a fucking shot, huh?
>>28733868
Man, I get what you mean entirely. I want to help OP out, but I worry about coming off as pretentious or giving him generic chad advice or something. Were we on wizchan our advice would probably be laughed at in favour of wallowing in self-pity, but clearly OP is just a guy who's feeling desperate and probably wants actual help.
OP, please give what we've written a good solid consideration. I really hope this will help you out, man.
>I stay inside all day and watch anime without interacting with anyone
>I expect to get a girlfriend
choose one senpai
>>28732439
Bowling wtf
>>28731839
I used to feel that feel when no gf, but thanks to an anon on wizardchan, the best advise I can give you isjust be yourself.
>>28731839
you're too far gone kid, suicide is the answer
>>28733128
>>28733186
>>28733300
>>28733397
>>28733468
>>28733498
>>28733808
>>28733868
>>28733962
I want you to know that I am reading your posts and I appreciate them. I'm not replying because I went through this thread and realized that, as I typically do, I met every piece of legitimate advice with one or multiple excuses and I don't see how that's serving anything, not me, or you who's trying to help me.
Again, thanks. I don't want you to think your walls of text have gone to waste.
>>28732900
>talks shit to this board, from this board.
Wew laddie, it's past ur bedtime
>>28732937
>>28733009
>>28733123
>>28733222
>>28734179
Fig newtons detected
>>28734151
Thanks, man. I appreciate it.
Although I do think that applying stringent standards to yourself is very useful, and it is also useful to recognize your failings and shortcomings...please do try to do this with the purpose of improvement.
God knows that you don't need any help understanding that you need improvement in several areas. So please, try to only be as hard on yourself as is pragmatic and useful for your intended goal(s).
Do remember that simply because you (likely rightfully) consider yourself sub-par or similar things, does not at ALL imply that you are obligated to stay that way. People that will claim you're a "genetic failure" or some kike shit like that are absolute detrimental jackasses.
You can drag your ass out of it.
Wish you luck, bud.
Opie, if I was still single I'd definitely be your gf. I'm certain you'll find happiness with a special qt grill one day. Please be positive!!
