Who else here /paranoia/? I have a few sinking fears:
>People walking in on me and hearing music through my headphones, and judging me on my music choice
>People reading my mind as I walk past them (so I think of something "normal" so they don't think I'm strange)
>Being watched through my webcam when I jack off/do things or people watching my screen; I feel like people drop inside jokes about what I jacked off to/look at on the internet while I talk with them.
These are probably the biggest 3. I can't even help but think that way or get scared when considering it. I can't close my eyes and chill to my music, I always keep a lookout in case someone's coming and they find me weird for what I listen to. How do you guys cope with your paranoia? Could this be the onset/symptom of a mental illness (another one of my fears)? I'm losing it here, robots.
>>28723618
Shameless self-bump with another one:
>People thinking I shit too loud, so I overload the toilet with toilet paper to silence my shits
This usually leads to me clogging the toilet, so I wash my hands twice. Once after I shit, and the other after I fix the clog. Been happening more recently too.
>>28723618
You sound like my brother. He's an anxiety riddled paranoid fuck and it's the most irritating thing ever.
>>28723768
Yay.
I try not to let people I know I have these thoughts though, because that defeats the point of the paranoia, if that makes sense. I keep them to myself and try to not think about itlest I go mad and kill myself
>being watched by some omnipresent lovecraftian entity or by garden variety ayylmaos
>I'm in a game of the sims and someone else is playing me like a puppet, and can intervene with ordinary causality whenever they want
>this is some kind of endless labyrinth sequestered away from the real world and I'll never get out
>that entity is actually me from another life
I went on vacation a little while ago, and found boots in the house I was staying at that I distinctly remembered forgetting to bring. It was like an intentional reminder that I'm being fucked with hard. But by who?
Its also a comfort, though. It makes me feel less alone and insignificant, it makes me feel like life may have a point after all.
>>28723618
I guess I am pretty paranoid
>actually thinking my dorm mate is up to manipulating me, reading my mind and a load of other negative x tier shit, since he is into bhudism, astral traveling etc. but you couldnt really call him a positive in most cases
>actually believe the girl I am obsesed with for roughly 5 years, witch I met a very few times, is an emotional vampire and can suck my emotions from a distance because of my >>>feelings.
>actually believe all of the lecturers in uni collecttivelly think I am a genuine autist or something, because they treat me as a spec. ed. 14 year old kid
>actually think all of the students are pretending to be friendly to me from time to time, meanwhile I am the center of some kind of collection of jokes. That can genuinely be true because there is already one guy who is treated like that, all because he do not shower and >>>talks total bullshit
>>28723618
I do all of those too
It's actually quite normal.
>>28724028
>evil /x/ people
I'm afraid of this too
But I also wonder why they would even bother
Like what's the point? You're not making anything any easier for anyone. Seems kinda regressive, even, considering that all they supposedly have these cool insights they could be doing something interesting with, instead of mindlessly power tripping.
>>28724128
*that they all
>>28724019
Funny, I get the complete opposite of this. I cannot shake the feeling that I'm genuinely alone in the universe, and my subconscious has created everything around me. It creates people and personalities as I meet them, and yet their continuity lines up with the timeline of my existence. It's solipsism, as far as I know. Most people see it as a meme, but I have a really hard time believing it. Stemming from that, I read a short story where a person died and was reincarnated as a person that has already lived, meaning he was the only actual soul in the universe and each time he died he lived the life of another human, if that makes sense. Say I die now, I would reincarnate as a Chinese basket weaving peasant from the 8th century, and when they died I'd reincarnate as a doctor from the 1700s, etc. He was essentially alone but had no memory of anything. I believe that story was given to me by my subconscious to inform me that when I die I'll be reincarnated as another human being, until I live the lives of every human that has existed and ever will exist. I'm really worried. I hope I'll be "me", in the sense that it won't be another version of me that lives, but the conscious I am now.
I try not to think about it too much.
i often get paranoid about cars driving past my house, and when i go for walks i always fear that someone is about to kill me in a driveby. no clue why i think that but i do. i hate the feeling of being watched or the possibility of being watched and judged. it gives me panic attacks.
there are also all sorts of intrusive thoughts that make me paranoid about myself and my family but i do an ok job of telling those thoughts to fuck off
i feel like these things are slowly getting worse for me
>>28724225
I have a similar perception
That all of these are distractions from horrific existential loneliness
And that whoever's watching me IS me. But I want to be them as the watcher, not me as the watched. It's like some kind of crazy defensive system to keep us from "waking up". Like a guy who booby trapped himself because he can't face himself, or a god who has tragically forgotten how to control its own destiny
>>28724337
But it waxes and wanes, sometimes I do just see myself as a rat in a maze with delusions of grandeur
Some kind of wacky experiment that should have been impossible
stop smoking reefer
fucking idiots
>>28724391
If only anon
I think there are some mental illnesses at play but I'm not sure I want to delve into that rabbit hole desu
>>28724128
I do not really know, but living with that dude really changed my perspective on spirituality. I too took interest in that kind of stuff. In this one book about my native countries pagan religion and myths, I found this one subject about how the antient society worked. There was normal people, your normal, social, sucsesful everyday folks with little to no problems, and then there are these so called talkable people. They are a pretty wide and diverse group. I think robots, autists etc. would easily fall in this category too. They range from basic losers and lazy people to witches and manipulators aka charmers. I am pretty sure I am a talkable person, since, how I get it, everyone who is contraversial to speak about is one of them. I also think that my dorm mate is the charmer type, that is how he managed to get so unrealistically sucsesful with his life, though I know this one guy who is, or was a pretty good friend of his, and he told me that something is off about him, he is just a bad person.
Sorry if my writting may look retarded, my keyboard is broken.
This sometimes happens to me when I stare at myself in the mirror.
I feel some sort of third person view, as I remember I am controlling a body, and I feel... Free? I guess, it's like I temporarily forget that I'm human, that I'm a living being, and more like a spiritual entity, and it's a weird high feeling for a second or two, then I come back to my senses, having to remind myself of who I am. just wondering if I'm the only one
I can't leave my laptop in my room. I bring it with me everywhere I go. I'm worried that my parents are going to search it, find out all my horrible secrets and use them to destroy me. They've been trying to get me for destroying their marriage and want me to kill myself.
>>28725080
This has happened to me too
That feeling of "who is that?", or sometimes "what is that?"
Like for a split second it literally is not you in the reflection
