*Disclaimer: I'm not mentally ill, I would never do the following hypothetical which is detailed in this greentext*
>Be me earlier today
>Trying to find a hammer so I can attach a poster to the wall in my room
>Find hammer
>As I'm looking for the right nail while holding the hammer in my hand I see my mom lay on the couch watching TV
>Lightly tap the hammer on my skull to see how much it would hurt if somebody drove it full force into my skull
>Realize how easy it would be to walk up behind my mom and bash her head in with the hammer
>Thinking how horrible it would be, how she would scream and fade out of conciousness
>Love my mom more than anything, would never do that
>Start cringing really hard, think of how much she does for me, still imagining the scenario of us just talking normally and then me killing her with the hammer
>The cringe is so bad, I start violently shaking my head to block it out
>The thought alone brings on massive stress and fear
>Put the hammer back and try not to think about it
>When I see her I just cringe
I can't be the only one who occasionaly thinks of extremely awful, out of character things you could do to someone in certain situations out of curiosity and then feels distressed about it
i do that all the time, i dint think is rare
>>28723549
Don't worry Op, this is something everybody does.
Ever stare from the top of a bridge or building and get the urge to jump? Or see a cute animal and have thoughts of how easy it would be to crush it's ribs?
Apparently it's some part of the brain that controls impulses, you're not crazy or horrible.
>>28723665
Thanks bud, it's pretty shitty
>>28723549
M8, this sounds like OCD. Diagnosed with it here.
>everytime I see a child, get horrible thoughts about molestation
>feel deeply ashamed and hope no one saw me even glance at said child
>everytime I see someone with a child, think they are a pedo
>have intrusive thoughts about incestuous relations with my cousin (she is 25, I am 19)
>intrusive thoughts about going on shooting sprees
>when I was 6, had very vivid thought of carving up my grandmother at Thanksgiving dinner
>always vividly imagine stepping on my dog by accident and crushing his body with my feet while he sleeps
>everytime parents walk around in anything showing skin, get sexual thoughts against my will
>feel ashamed about all of these things and take precautions to prevent them from happening
Intrusive thoughts. That's all it is.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrusive_thought
I've been bothered by the prospect of saying inappropriate things at work or riding subway (NYC).
Everyone thinks about killing another human being atleast once. Its the people who don't have the defense signal you have where your conscience is saying "This is very bad".
Happened to me when I was 16, I had really bad problems with anxiety when I was young. I should've got treatment but doctors were a big fear of mine. I remember having a dream where I went on a shooting rampage, and I woke up and the dream was running through my mind all day. It scared me, I thought I was becoming some homicidal maniac, but eventually I got over it.
Just realize all it is, is a thought. Nothing else. Like if you imagined fucking a woman you saw on the street etc. Just dont ACT on these thoughts. Unless you're going for the whole "Im a homicidal maniac" look.
