>mom recently bought a UV light to detect cumstains in my underwear and socks
>can't fap into the shower because that would clog it
>can only acquire tissues through mom, not allowed packs of my own
>mom carefully documents each tissue I use in an excel table, and for what purpose
I'm 22 btw. What the fuck do I do?
What the fuck? Tell your mom to fuck off or better yet, move out you fucking manchild you're 22
And don't worry about clogging the shower, i've been doing it twice a day for years and it's fine.
>>28720917
>get all of her panties out
>fap on them
>murder suicide
You're not funny, OP. Go fucking kill yourself.
>he doesn't eat his cum
>>28720917
Mummie hates her babies cummies
Tell her to get a fucking life
Why not just double down on the underwear and socks? She obviously knows what you're doing.
>>28720917
buy your own tissues
or jack it into the toilet like a normal fuck
>>28720917
Falling for the clogging meme
>>28720917
What do you wipe your ass with?
Just cum in your hand and then wash it after.
Are you retarded?
My mother is literally trying to "fap proof" the home (her words) with help from my little brother (20). He's literally giving her tips on how to stop me from fapping over the phone, I heard them once.
here's what you've got to do
look her dead in the eye and bust a nut then scream LOOK MUMMY ANON MADE CUMMIE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>28720917
Replace the UV light with a normal light of the same colour that looks similar when she's not looking.
>>28721123
Take a long hard look at your life anon
why the fuck does your mum even consider this a problem? Are you jacking it in public spaces?
>>28721405
She just keeps comparing me to my little brother who already has his own apartment and apparently "didnt have a sexual problem", according to my mom. they have both just conspired against me just because i masturbate. so what if I masturbate IT'S NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS. i've already told them that but they just keep hassling me about it no matter what I do.
>>28721485
Don't know what to tell you, other than tugging it out in your car if you have one or just resort to being a no fap fag.
>>28721485
She's doing this so you leave the house and get a job and a life like your brother who you are younger than
>not spelling out "fuck you mom" in cum on her wall
>>28720917
is your mum a member of the Gestapo?
>>28721485
Tell her "Oh, I'm the one with sexual problems, when your sex life is drier than a well in Ethiopia?"
>>28721485
Ohhh man I can't wait till she locks you in a chastity device. When she does, please greentext for those of us whose mommies still allow us to fap.
>>28721657
i couldn't say that, she does have sex often (I can hear). IDK with who though, they are always gone by morning.
>>28721639
More like the Gestfapo
>>28720917
Cum on the floor and mop it later
I thought this was gonna be the last place to make fun of me for this. But I guess I am alone with my problem of a stupid control freak "family".
>>28721976
Robots can't get girls and suffer social isolation, but we still are autonomous enough to masturbate when we want.
>>28720917
This is semi-copypasta. If you're going to be a copypasta faggot then at least do it right.
>>28722054
>semi-copypasta
I didn't "copypasta" shit. This is fucking real and it's pissing me off. Do you know how it feels not being able to fap because you have an overly controlling pack of a little brother and mother monitoring everything you do, all day?
Just use toilet paper you fucking idiot
>>28720917
>He doesn't fling his cum across the room like a perverted Spiderman
What a fucking dumbass.
Just cum in her morning glass of milk
>say i go a shit
>fap into toilet
>wip o a paper
no msess
>>28720917
>What the fuck do I do?
Sneak up on her tonight and cum on her face. Preferably on her lips.
Just cum in your tummy and rub.it like some sort.of girly cream. I used to do that when I was 13-17 im 20 and still have a baby tummy ;33
>>28721691
>the average femdom fetishist
This is obviously bait. There are multiple solutions here. You can use toilet paper like some people suggested here. Fapping in the shower is also a great option (clogging is a meme). And then you have this is well >>28722234
And the last option is just to fucking do what you want and tell her to go fuck herself.
There is no way this is real.
Kill her. Kill him. Then, kill yourself.
>>28722280
Clogging isn't a fucking "meme", it has happened to me before.
I know there's ways i could fap but the problem is about my overly controlling mother who conspired with my little brother to make my life hell on earth just because my mom thinks hes "better" than me for some reason.
anyway I might fap in the toilet even though it has a ledge, so maybe mom will see with her stupid UV light.
>>28722344
But he is better than you
>>28720917
1. Don't fap for 3 weeks.
2. Yell at mom that you're too sexually frustrated because of it.
3. Rape her that night.
4. Scream at her and blame her for making you do that.
5. ?
6. Profit.
>>28720984
I like that shit
Ask mum for thick cotton diapers to wear ;)
My mummy let's my rub my diaper encased big baby wiener on her stockinged feet if I earn enough good boy points ;)))))
We both love it when my little baby rocket shoots off in my diaper ;)))))))
>>28720917
What's she going to do, kick you out of the house because you're continuing to masturbate? Tell her it's perfectly healthy, while her excessively controlling nature is not, and don't fucking take it. Tell her she should be glad you're not going out and fucking bar sluts every night, picking up STDs and unwanted pregnancies. And honestly, either way: get a job and get the hell out of there. This woman is clearly a cancer on your mental health.
>>28721863
Underated vjcdkvfghvvggggg
>>28720966
I have sisters which i dont want having my inbred baby
>>28722559
>cotton diapers
diaper fetishist here, your taste is awful
disposables are the only reason to wear diapers. Might as well just wear multiple pairs of underwear
![Why+not+to+fap+in+university+showers_cf11c0_3168331[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/EGdFYzd.jpg "Why+not+to+fap+in+university+showers_cf11c0_3168331[1].jpg")
>Semen doesnt clog drains
>>28720917
>mom recently bought a UV light to detect cumstains in my underwear and socks
What the fuck??????????????????????? Why does she care about your masturbating habits?
Ejaculate in your mouth and swallow it.
>>28721070
>Are you retarded?
He lives at home at 22. Of course he is
>>28720917
wank on the toilet wash hands afterwards or jizz into bowl problem solved
>>28722925
Wait so his sister makes him wear diapers and one piece pajamas to school and the constant diaper wearing has mentally turned him into manbabby that pisses and shits himself constantly?
Is this basically AUTISM: the fetish?
>>28721844
Tell her that you get your sex drive from her then and that if she wants you stop, she should stop getting loafds blown in her all the time.
>>28722344
Even though my parents don't say out or believe it, I know that my socially active younger brother is better than me as well.
>>28722925
Her face looks pretty creepy tbqh.
>>28722344
Lift the seat, hang over the toilet and wank that way. The material toilets are made of has a very smooth surface so it will easily clean and wont leave any traces.
Or like i said before you can just do whatever the fuck you want and if she confronts you about it just tell her to go fuck herself.
>>28720917
Get on your knees and jerk off into the toilet bowl, then wash your hands and dick with the sink and toilet paper
>>28721364
Fuck off Jonny Snow you don't know what the shit your talking about, stick to ruining my picnics.
>>28722930
HAHAHHA this probably happened in Mattia
>>28720917
bodily fluids only show up under uv light when stained with luminol.
ur moms a retard. cum in her shoes.
>>28720917
You can take your bait thread and fuck off and die inside your moms ass faggot>>28720966
>>28722280
>>28724564
edgy and mad
>>28720917
>can't fap into the shower because that would clog it
are you a horse?
>>28724798
Yes, Horsekin, actually.
