>*A portly fellow in a flame shirt waddles to the counter of a Starbucks*
>"What would you like sir?"
>*The atheist squints around the coffee bar, his hands at the sides of his khaki shorts like he had two holsters. With one hand he expertly pulls out his wallet and with the other, he brings the tip of his hat down before placing his order*
>"Coffee. Black."
>*A hush falls over the patrons and staff. Women gush in their panties as whispers from men can't believe what's transpiring. The barista looks like he's about to faint, his grip on the cup furiously shaking as he slides it over the counter to our hero*
>*The cheetoh avenger slaps down a sticky five and a quarter with his hamhock fist before mumbling to no one that they should "keep the change", knowing he's a far better human being than people that put sugar or milk in their coffee*
JUST COFFEE MY SHIT UP
good thread OP
coffee is best black though
Best shitpost I've seen today
>>>/ck/7696426
>>28714456
Drinking coffee like a fucking normie?!
First off 5 dollars for a black coffee?
The fuck is wrong with you Americans
Also your coffee, with milk and sugar or not, is absolutely garbage
It's honestly just dishwater
Espresso or bust
>>28714471
i rarely drink coffee, the only things I usually drink are tea and sparkling water
>>28714495
That's better.
I would have also accepted capri sun.
>>28714472
I get expresso from the McDonalds drive thru
>>28714528
never had a capri sun, I don't like fruit juices or squash
>>28714332
Yeah that, or he's just poor.
Black coffee is a poor people drink. It's what the boss's office skank gives illegal immigrants in the morning so they'll have caffeine to dig ditches
>>28714548
How do you wash down tendies without something sugary?
Black coffee is good for you
It depends on what you are being served though
If its instant coffee I will take milk
If its a really dark roast Ill have milk
If its a normal roast or blend I drink it black
starbucks always taste burnt or something subtle is added to the water to try and enhance it, makes you want to evacuate your bowels after 10min
>>28714571
Sparkling water is surprisingly nice when you get used to it. I don't like sugary drinks in general, probably because my parents always made me drink the diet versions of soft drinks when i was younger
>>28714540
hey mcdonalds coffee buddy. I get a flat white at the drive through a lot.
I drink black coffee because it's easier. I am this lazy.
Black coffee is good it grows on you, especially as it's piping hot and burns your tongue, not just merely hot.
>>28714332
Have you considered writing short stories?
>>28714332
OP this was quite good desu. Second the anon saying you should continue to write
There is literally nothing wrong with enjoying black coffee
Some people just like the flavor
>>28714332
You should write a novel, anon
YOU DON'T ORDER COFFEE "BLACK" YOU ORDER IT WITHOUT ADDITIONALLY ASKING FOR SUGAR OR MILK YOU FUCKING SPERG
>>28714332
>The cheetoh avenger
kek'd.
But seriously, just because you don't like black coffee, doesn't mean he can't.
Like pretty much everything, it's an acquired taste. Like how pretty much every third world country only eats the spiciest shit like it's nothin'.
I don't imagine that they eat it thinkin' "OMG LOOK HOW MANLY I AM, POO IN LOO". I just imagine that it's what they're used to.
Same with black coffee.
Don't have to be a judgemental cunt about it OP.
