>"Looks like everybody ditched us anon! Its just you and me here now! What do you want to do?"
>>28710009
Get out of my house, roastie.
>>28710009
well gee, I dunno, what video games do you like?
>>28710245
this. its video games power friday.
>>28710009
Whatever you're up for, man. Movie or something?
>tfw my instinctive niceness would prevent me from getting laid YET AGAIN
im gonna play on my computer, you can sit over there and watch television.
>don't say a word to her for the rest of the evening
>>28710009
ey lets fuck
>>28710009
I just wanna give up, I just want to give up. I've been running in circles like some kind of fucking hamster for my entire life, where's the end goal? If there is no end goal then no one can win, and if no one can win then there's no point, and if there's no point then why are we here? Why are we left to sit in this tireless loop of repeating days, if the only thing in sight is our untimely demises?
>>28710009
*teleports behind you*
Heh heh, what's say we play a game?
*unsheathes katana*
>>28710009
i'd like to watch you put on some rubber underpants, and fart in them until they inflate like a balloon.
>>28710009
I don't think this can wait. Let's fuck.
I was thinking we could fucking kill ourselves.
>>28710346
kill yourself you weaboo
>>28710009
m-maybe we could hold hands
>>28710009
*unzips dick*
orginiaginal
>>28711069
>tfw my oneitis held hands with me in class one daythx for reading my blog
>local bar blasts music like every other Friday
>bar is adjacent to the train track
>a train has been crossing town for about 10 minutes now
>no music from the bar anymore, not even voices
Thank you, train. Thank you.
>>28711136
Damn, I thought I was starting a thread. Apologies.
>>28710268
what is the correct strategy to get laid in this scenario?
>>28711360
kiss her immediately
>>28711641
that's a bit rape-y
>>28710331
Anon there was never any reason to live. So looking is pointless
>>28710269
A L P H A A F
L
P
H
A
A
F
If she doesnt initiate anything herself, I'm screwed and its going to be super awkward.
>>28710269
I've done this irl
>>28711655
ok then
respond this "this"
and kiss her immediately.
ALPHA
L
P
H
A
>>28711780
you can't just kiss a girl without asking
>>28711793
if she doesn't want to kiss you she will let you knowwith rape charges
I would like to c cuddle
>>28710009
*hand her a bowl of eggs*
"You don't have to stay but you have to eat this bowl of eggs"
play doom or valkyria chronicles, goddammit. preferably with some booze.
>>28711869
This is the only correct answer
Eggs=fertilized
Mfw I was in this situation once
>Came back to her place
>just me and her
>she puts on the TV
>its some stupid shows, nothing is on
>she leaves it on some PBS kids show, one of those autistic ones like Arthur
>we're both sitting on the couch next to each other
>I tell her it all looks pretty boring, then put my arm around her, and say I want to do something else.
>she gets up and I get up, she grabs my hand and takes me to her room
>sits on the bed
>OH FUCK in my head
>push her down, pull off her shirt and bra, take her her panties
>vagina in my face, first time ever seeing one, its not a roastie, its an innie, SCORE
>start eating her out idk what to do lol
>start fingering her and I get a boner
>she tells me she isn't on birth control
>I had two condoms in my wallet just in case, always have a backup condom
>put it on, and stick it in
>Know for certain that I am not going to be Elliot rodger now, I have won and defeated the mental boss ROBOT 9000
>start to concentrate on sex, looking at her feedback, feeling her up, pulling her legs around me, jamming it in, using my pubic bone to press on her clit, kissing her neck and lips, brushing her hair with my fingers and holding her tight against me, feeling her tits
>cum balls deep with the condom on.
>Because of my advanced masturbating techniques in edging and erection control from reading 230 page H manga like Monzentsu series on doujin-moe as a 9th grader and onwards, I maintained my erection, threw off the other condom and put on another one, ready for more fucking for more time.
>end up banging her for around an hour before cumming again with her on top of me, she started to kiss me everywhere and gave me one really awkward kiss on my forehead that I still don't get why it was done.
>cuddle post sex and sleep for about an hour, but I get horny again.
>start to finger her and then stick it in, its okay I can pull out.
>more sex goes on, I want to pull out but(cont)
>>28710009
show me thatboipucci
>>28710009
>Everyone ditched us? I guess I'll head off home then. See ya later
I can't be the only one.
>>28712314
>want to pull out but r9k and pol memes flash in front of my eyes
>"genetic dead end crying pepe and wojak"
>"condoms are for jew tools cucks, you're not a cuck, are you /pol/?"
>"good goy have an autistic child at 30"
>I think to myself , cant even feel the sex anymore, just the mission I can complete on behalf of my internet fraternity
>I'm no cuck, and I will stop the Jews and shitskin hordes
>Tell her I don't have a condom on
>I start to get more passionate and giving it more so I can get her to let me cum balls deep in her
>she just moans a lot and doesn't reply
>Tell her I'm gonna cum inside
>she still doesn't respond
>ask her if she's sure
>she moans "I don't care"
>I grab her tight and pull her legs to leglock me and cum the biggest load of my life.
And that is how I lost my virginity, and also went down the road of eventually scaring away my first gf, but that one is a different story altogether.
>>28712385
impreg fetish is dangerous but so great
>>28711136
based train
>>28710009
>implying she actually stayed behind until I was the only other one there
>implying I was ever in a group with her to begin with
>implying I have friends
>>28712443
I kept bothering her about it for the following three months until she had enough of it.
Gf is a srs substance, it was like being drunk when standing next to her, I couldn't control what I was saying or how I acted. Looking back I was a total fucking idiot, and can understand why there are faggots will stick to their faggot fetish even with fear of death over them, they cant help it.
Time to give you the gift of painal
>>28710346
these fucking posts always make me laugh
>>28710009
nothing good will happen
i can't make anything good happen and women don't take the lead
"I want to leave, bye"
>>28710346
>what's say we play a game?
>"You know, you have really kissable lips.">were the words he couldn't get off the tip of his tongue
"I'm really tired, I have to go as well.
I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."
>>28710009
>"Looks like everybody ditched us anon!
No, they ditched you. Later slut!
Wow these mommy girlfriends are on point. I prefer them because they know what they want, they've seen some action so you know they know how to work it, and they're mature grownups like me. I don't want to date some silly girl who doesn't know what she wants.
>>28710009
Oh what a tragedy!
Want a drink?
>>28710009
>"Everyone left me...again..."
>begin to sob
Can I really trust these situations? Would anyone pull a shitty joke on me like this, or can I just assume it's genuine?
I need to know.
>>28710009
Maybe they're trying to give us a hint.
*turns on Netflix*
;)
