Friends
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
>tfw you realize your ''friends'' don give a fuck about you and have 0 morale and values.
I mean come the fuck on, lets be real here guys, some of us might be somewhat shitty or simply misunderstood but that fucking moment when you realize your ''friends'' only stay connected to you because of being used to or because it benefits them in so way, its fucking shit.
We all need company in the end but with friends like these who needs enemies right?
I find myself realizing more and more that with the years the fewer friends stay with you and some that do will eventually.
Its fucking horrible to feel out of place and I know everyone here feels like this, some have their own problems some are dicks sometimes but in the end we are victims of the unfair condictions we are in and shit just goes downhill.
How does one find REAL friends if such thing exist? I try to be the nicest guy but it always feel like I'm out of place, but if I try to get along with people alike me it ends up in discussion or it simply doesnt work.
fuck this shit f a m
>>28707286
I get the feeling a lot, I'd even say most people, don't have real friends. As in, they're not in it with you for the long haul, not like family/like a brother to you. Someone who actually loves you and gives a shit about your well being. Someone who's not so quick to "cut ties" with you if you do something fucked up to them vice versa.
>>28707286
>TFW all my friends abandoned me after they saw that I was going no-where in life. I stuck by them through their difficulties and hardships but none of them returned the favor. That is when I came to the same realization you did, OP.
I have completely numbed myself to feelings of kindness and suppressed my need to be respected by my peers. I now hate everyone and it feels good to do so. I think you should take the same stance.Hate people and enjoy their misery.
>>28707406
I'ts sad but you're right,I dont think I've ever had a friend which cared about me and tried to put himself in 2nd sometimes to help me out when in need.
Its fucking sad when you are altruist and are eager to help people, only to be used by fuckers who take advantage of that.
>>28707286
>try your best to be a good friend and help someone out
>it just blows up in your face and you have to deal with the consequences
I don't know why I bother anymore.
>>28707286
I've never had a real friend, I try my best to entertain people/and or listen to them in their times of need but nobody really seems to reply in the same way I would. They're nice to me and all but they don't contact me outside of college/work
people are fickle, OP.
I realized this in 10th grade, I was actually in with the popular kids up until then. I never really fully fit in though but I made it that far. Parties and everything. Something was always off with me, this is how my life is supposed to be. No sense trying to change.
thank fuck i'm more or less asocial. being autistic has it's good points sometimes.
>>28707448
>>28707544
>>28707545
Its fucking sad... Are most people incapable of empathy and comprehension?
Some people just do not seem to understand the concept of respect and helping back.
>tfw you were always the kid that gave his clothes and toys to the other kids who never had as much as you (even tho you didnt have much anyways)
>tfw you were always the one to make plans and warn everyone about everything, take care of everyone's things and get shat on if someone did shit since 100% of the responsability was apparently mine.
>tfw you give house to a friend that at the first moment he has betrays your trust
Sometimes I wish I wasnt such a fucking idiot.
>>28707702
>let a buddy you've known for years stay in your apartment because he has nowhere else to go
>come home from work one day
>collector's items from rare games are destroyed or ripped in half
RIP Metroid Prime Trilogy poster.
>>28707773
NOT METROID
the absolute madman what the fuck??!!
What was his reasoning??
Holy fuck I value my vidya alot anon I'm sorry for you bro.
most people are fucking leeches.
real talk.
there was guy that would only talk to me if his friend didn't show up to school, and would completely ignore me if his friend did show up.
the next day he high fived me like i didn't fucking notice.
i mean comeone, not everyone have poor observation skills, you are caught with your pants down now fuck off.
or there is this guy that constantly calls me to "catch up" but after a minute suddenly he needs something to do for him. call your real fucking friends and leave me the fuck alone
ITT retards who don't understand that "being friends with someone" just means you use them until you can backstab them to advance in life.
>>28707943
then who you gonna call in time of trouble? your used up friends?
>>28707818
>"hey man, what happened to this poster? i found it with a huge tear in this box?"
>"oh I don't know what happened."
>>28708003
Whoever owes you a favor because you have dirt on them and you can fuck up their life, so they have act extra friendly whenever you demand something on them. It's like you're in kindergarten Jesus Christ don't you know anything.
>>28707943
Oh I understand that this is probably thing with certain people, I take it you're one of these people. It's just not how it should be though, but people gonna people.
>>28708029
i understand this whole "world is a jungle" metaphor. but you always live in the fear that someone will ruin your life every breathing second, and its not worth it
>>28708074
>how it should be
It's never going to be "how it should be" so you can either kill yourself or play the game.
>>28708087
Then life is not for you, go live in a cave.
>>28708029
I know you're baiting, but this is actively taught in certain circles. I've had a very close friends enter business and law school, and drop me because 'If a friend cannot be an asset to you, he's not really your friend" and "Friends are connections waiting to happen"
>>28708103
>>I know you're baiting, but this is actively taught in certain circles.
You mean in circles of people who actually matter?
>>28708093
I'm not going to kill myself, settle down scum anon. I don't plan on playing "the game" either, you don't do that with people. so I guess I'll just always realize/keep in perspective "This person's probably just an "at work/school friend, an acquaintance".
>>28708147
So you'll be doing the exact same thing they're doing then, except without the "winning" part, loser.
>>28708093
using up and betrayl ends somewhere, and that somewhere it when someone stab you in the throat or shoot you in the head.
the only reason you have this current mindset is because you are used to living
>>28708168
I just mean, I know they don't give a fuck about me, they'll never be an actual friend, so I don't plan on getting invested in them emotionally or trusting them too much. It shouldn't be about "winning" or getting something from them, using them. That's more for leech low-lives like yourself, from what you say.
>>28708199
>trusting people
>having emotions
>2016
How are you even still alive.
>>28708221
That's the thing, I really don't trust people very easily. And don't act like you don't have emotions either, I could cut some onions up for my sandwich with that edge, my current kitchen knife is a little dull.
I fucking hate people and myself, I just want to be left alone to die at this point
>only have acquaintances, 0 friends. People only use me and usually get pissed off at how I fuck things up
>always have to initiate anything social related even though I probably suffer from anxiety, mumble my words, and get tongue tied since I don't know how to speak properly
>I'm so desperate to be noticed that I'll even tell some people to contact me for anything after talking with them and they'll never contact me, not even to use me
>>28708247
I haven't said one single thing about myself in this entire conversation.
>>28708221
Stop trying this hard on an image board
>>28708282
Alright, greentext having emotions, but okay.
>>28708314
That post was about you, feel free to reread.
>>28708282
I have a hard time believing that if someone was more capable than you in every way, and had fucked you over while setting themselves up in a position where you could to very little to no damage, you would just sit back and say "What a marvelous demonstration of inherent superiority, my hat comes off to you."
>>28708342
Why did this thread derail into an edgy conversation like this?
Cmon we're here for the deception and hurt not for this.
>>28707286
What most of you aren't realizing is that every friendship goes through a bleak valley of despair.
Your sense of each other darkens and your presence grows sore.
When this happens, it's time to approach things differently, and try a new rhythm with one another. These friendships aren't working because you're throwing them away before you've had time to work through the issues between you and your friend.
Relationships aren't perfect, you gotta keep your eyes and ears open and say whats on your mind if its bothering you.
>>28708342
I know, but then you >2016, how are you still alive like it's an absurd concept and you don't do this.
>>28708221
>im a cruel abusive shit
only person that be abusive is someone that can afford to be abusive
your boss at work can be abusive
your girlfriend can be abusive
not one is gonna be abused by limp dick cunt that posts on r9k, only people with power and authority can be abusive and manipulative and if they still do they are in a weak barging position
>>28708375
sorry for my grammar in advance, im tired
Anyway, people could argue for hours about the inherent superiority of their approach to friendship, and have points.
The bait poster could do the same. Hell, if you're really after money and status, and don't give a shit about comfort, it is really the only way to go.
But this thread has been successfully derailed, you can collect your new social capital on the way out.
>had some friends in my day
>annoyed because they all just seem to want something or use me in some way
>find someone who actually tries to be a good friend to me. Asks for nothing in return.
>can't seem to bond with them emotionally.
>stop returning their calls.
>I am one of the bad friends.
Feels bad man.
>>28708351
That's when you're supposed to fuck them even harder for revenge, preferably after they forget about you even existing.
>>28708375
You're starting to catch on. So why aren't you in a position of power yet? Are you planning on staying a loser forever?
>always kept my promises to friends
>helped them with things
>invited them places
>even payed for their entry to places sometimes so we could chill and hang out together
>they lie to me
>never invite me places, never call or text for friendly conversation unless they need something
>act like they really care about me when they see me
>they ask for more help
>don't hold up their end of work if we ever did projects together
There's a few I still talk to but they've mostly become low lives who just sit around doing drugs all the time. I still try to spend time with them though because... I guess because I feel like they can entertain me.
There was one friend whom I think was a real friend though.
>always spent time together
>was honest, helped me out with shit, took interest in things I took interest in
>bro-tier
>then he got his heart broken, became obsessed with someone, moved away, became chad, knocked a bitch up
>still think he is a pretty good friend but every time he is in town he brings his fiance who is a total cunt
>>28708571
Not him, but yes. No point in winning, really.
>>28708674
Then what's the point of living in the first place?
>>28708700
There doesn't have to be a point, I'm just alive. Dying seems unpleasant so I'll probably try to stay alive.
>>28707286
Having friends who only see you because theyre used to it or because they get a shallow benefit from it is all you need. Try having no friends at all. Al you need is whatever it takes to stave off loneliness. Stop needing anything else from people and relying on them. You can only rely on yourself. Stop making yourself vulnerable and projecting your needs onto people. Accept whats there, just this
>>28708734
>not being an introvert
shig
I find that the older I get the less I have in common with people, and (it seems to me) the less anyone has in common with each other.
I have two autistic and out of shape friends that are completely content to sit inside all day, every day and play vidya and watch stupid Youtube videos. While I don't mind doing that with them every so often I don't like sitting around at home all the time.
Even when we do that we don't have anything in common. They completely shut down if you try to talk about history, philosophy, or any of my own nerd interests that they don't share. The only reason we're still friends is because we've all known each other more than half of our lives.
I've been out with some coworkers before but it's different with them too. None of them are particularly the sort of person I could talk to while on a drive, or play games on Steam into the night or anything like that. I felt alone among that group too. They were all content with "shooting the breeze". None really seemed to care that after that little hangout session we didn't know each other any better than before.
I've always wanted just a few close friends I could do stuff with. Go to amusement parks, go for walks in the woods, play games, talk about nerd stuff and the world and why we like what we like, maybe even to got a sports game, etc. My current autistic friends only talk about two (sometimes three) things.
>memes
>vidya
>random "funny" Youtube video
And I can't do that. I need companions that can stimulate my desire for more. I had one (briefly) once, but he ended up getting with the girl he knew I was interested in so we aren't friends anymore.
I have given up on finding friends. Maybe it sounds like my standards are too high, but holy shit can I just find someone that doesn't want to fucking spout memes and play vidya all the time? Is there anyone that's actually genuine in the world still?
>>28707286
>real friendship
But OP that is real friendship, It's not about whether you like each other or not, The foundation of the relationship is established by how much one party will go out of there way to do something for the other party
>>28708848
What's the point of talking about history, philosophy or anything like that?
>>28708850
It sucks when it doesnt happen at all from the other party like I said somewhere in the thread.
But yeah I somewhat understand what you mean.
>>28708848
>I had one (briefly) once, but he ended up getting with the girl he knew I was interested in so we aren't friends anymore.
Well, did you actually make any effort to get with her? I'd say that's a pretty shallow reason to "break up" with a friend.
>>28708848
If you think about social interaction in terms of filling a need, I would argue that most people have a much smaller requirement in depth and breadth of social interactions than you do.
It sucks, I feel that way too, but people who don't think too much about the quality of their friendships can go through the motions, however repetitive, and come out the other end feeling 'filled up' and able to continue living until they require it again.
The real downer is that it isn't even an us vs. them situation, where we are simply more complex beings than them. Requiring more to feel fulfilled, we ascribe a greater significance to each 'totally fulfilling' friendship as they are more rare.
>>28708904
Its interesting and boardens your horizons.
Not him btw.
>>28709025
But philosophy is all make-believe and history is just the long story of humans being shitheads to each other for predictable reasons.
>>28709025
But what's the point of "broadened horizons"? Will it give you more money? If it was something that you were doing professionally you'd have people to talk about it. But if you're not, why do it? It's not going to get you a higher social status. What else is there?
>>28708904
I just like to. It's fun to think about and discuss with others, and to hear their opinions on the matters too. I know saying you like to talk about stuff like that is a one way ticket to being called a fedora but I just need conversations that are a little more intellectual sometimes. I'm not saying I'm a fucking genius or anything, so don't misconstrue this.
>>28708965
Yeah, he was in love with me. He was bisexual. But he couldn't have me because I'm not so he fucked her. Now they're broken up but he still won't let her see me because if he can't have me, nobody can apparently.
>>28709019
I've been described as intense by a few people, and I'd agree. I do seek that more fulfilling connection from a friendship. Maybe I'm too aware of how shallow it seems with the people I have, and others are just content with what they have. But I just don't enjoy the time I spend with the two friends I have. They don't fulfill the need.
I don't know if I've said all of this in a way that doesn't make me come across as a pretentious fedoralord, but I hope not. I'm not saying other people are worse for not connecting with me. I'm just someone who needs more from other people, and most don't seem to be able to deliver.
>>28709060
>>28709064
Because it is fun and interesting, we give meaning to things stop being so nihilistic.
Talking about your own philosophy is interesting and history is like a huge story with some big tragedies and shit.
its cool.
>>28709188
>stop being so nihilistic.
YOU CAN'T MAKE ME, DAD
>>28708487
This. I realized it was time to reexamine myself, when I met a really nice girl who really wants what's best for me as a friend.
> ignore texts
> ignore plans
> don't tell her about my life
> don't even invite her over my house
I eventually realized I just had a victim complex growing up and was likely treating my friends shitty so they ditched me like I've ditched others. Feels bad breh.
>>28709188
>Because it is fun and interesting, we give meaning to things stop being so nihilistic.
Why not live in a cave and give meaning to poop and rocks and sticks then?
>>28709104
>I know saying you like to talk about stuff like that is a one way ticket to being called a fedora but I just need conversations that are a little more intellectual sometimes.
Then get into academia, if you're not a stupid autist who just thinks he's intellectual.
>>28709458
You are a new kind of edgy my man.
>>28707286
>Good friend moves to a different school after Junior year, pretty much stop talking to him
>Mutual friend tells me many months later that he started vaping
Kinda glad I don't talk to him anymore but I bet he misses me, makes me feel a little shitty to be honest.
>>28709104
>>28709019
>>28708848
You have porous ego boundaries and so does everyone in this thread. Youre in adolescence and youre very vulnerable. You also think too much. You arent meant to think this much about these things, its unproductive and unhealthy. You have a lot of mental energy and your using it unproductivley.
