/r9k/, I come to you, not for advice or to ask for help, but to vent about something I absolutely can't tell anyone in my life right, because I feel I'll be (rightfully) pumped full of meds: I've been seeing a girlfriend. She hangs around my room, holds my arm and walks with me around town, sits by my side on the bus. Talks to me a lot.
Only problem is, she isn't real. I think I might've become schizophrenic. She looks just like the girl I crushed on in high school, and calls me the same affectionate nickname that girl did.
I'm a 23 years old KV, and lately the feeling of loneliness and lack of companionship, combined with the awful state of my relationship with my family had been taking a toll on me.
Last wednesday, I was laying on my bed looking at the ceiling, when I suddenly felt someone creep up on me under the sheets. I umped from the bed and saw her there, dressed in a camisole.
>What's wrong? You scared me. Come back to bed.
I blinked and she was gone, but I swear to whichever god you believe in, she felt real, looked real, sounded real. Over the next few days, it kept happening.
I was making coffee, and suddenly she'd start talking to me about the news, and asking at which time I'd be back home. She just appeared there. It's hard to explain. One minute it's normal, and then it's like she was always there.
I tried to ignore it, but I decided to call in sick and stay home today. And she never left. Right now she's sitting on my bed, right behind me. She's not saying anything, but every once in a while she comes and gives me a hug.
I can feel her fucking hair.
I guess this is too long, I'll continue it below
>>28689601
I'm scared shitless right now. There's no one there. I took a picture of her with my cell phone two days ago, and she appeared in the picture. The moment she disappeared (which feels weird, like waking up from a dream), she vanished from the pic. Or rather, I guess she was never there.
I'm sorry if this isn't making much sense, but this is a weird as fuck situation. And the worst thing is, I like it. Last night I decided to ask her to cuddle with me before sleeping. She gave me this absolutely warm smile, one I've never seen any girl give, and said yes. I could smell the shampoo on her hair. I could feel how warm her skin is.
I don't know what the fuck is going on.
>>28689601
Get your mental state checked m8
>>28689658
I plan to do it soon.
I'm starting to enjoy this situation, and it scares me
Try having sex with her OP this might be the only chance you get
>>28689601
I'm a fearless motherfucker so I'd interact with it as much as possible while waiting to get my brain checked.
Have fun you fucking basket case.
>>28689777
I did, earlier today. Missionary.
It felt much better than regular masturbation. Seeing her face getting red, hearing her moans and gasps, it was incredible.
>>28689813
She's literally hanging onto my shoulder right now. She just told me that "This is boring". She wants to play videogames.
>>28689601
Might as well get your cummies in before you're hauled off to the mental hospital
Get a knife and cut her see if it bleeds you can kill it. Hope you don't get ass raped or murdered after that OP
>>28689847
This is the kind of shit I'm afraid of.
On one side, I sat on a bus with a non-existant girl resting her head, and sleeping, on my shoulder.
On the other side, she's not fucking real.
>>28689860
I can't. he looks and acts ust like the girl I used to like, but she actually loves me. I can't fucking do anything bad to her.
>>28689835
tfw no qt imaginary girl to sex with :(
>>28689610
>And the worst thing is, I like it.
The DSM-5 describes mental disorders thusly:
>Mental disorders are usually associated with significant distress in social, occupational, or other important activities.
Until she gets in the way of something else you need to do, I say go ahead and enjoy it. You don't need to have all the answers right now. Also, if it gets to you, please talk to somebody. At least one of your peers will waste every cent they make in their 20s on cocaine. Somebody will understand mental disorders and be chill about it.
Right now you're fearful, that's the only thing saving you
I'm so sorry your life is stressful enough to cause this, obviously this is a coping mechanism of the mind
You're having sex with her, cuddling her, you must have positive emotions about this through the fear, those positive emotions will consume you with delusion if you aren't careful
True story: saw a guy go insane over the course of a few days from PCP use, he thought his ex was coming to visit him and would talk to her like she was there, even though they hadn't talked in years.
You need help, the line between reality and illusion is falling apart and the pills are probably not helping, you've got to talk to someone (professional) and tell them what you'e experiencing
Luck
You've succeeded in creating your tulpa, be sure to visit the general to learn more
>>28689881
I only said cut her not slit her fucking throat
she'll be fine
>>28689881
Have you considered you might be shifting into a dimension where u have a gf?
>>28689940
Fucking moron, it's cpming from within him so that's like asking a paranoid schizo to cut themselves to test if they're real
>>28689961
i said cut her HER not himself
>>28689940
He could easily just imagine her being cut? How does this solve anything lol
>>28689986
Demons and shit idk
Get her to post OP
We wanna ask her questions
>>28689601
well i'm glad you made a friend OP
How long exactly has this been going on?
>>28689601
I try and imagine that I have a gf. I hug my pillow, talk to myself, and try my best to dream about her.
The happiest moments of my day are when, for a few seconds, I believe the lies I tell myself.
As long as it's not negatively effecting your life, enjoy yourself.
>>28689998
Ooooh, you think it's dark forces
You should know that dark forces enjoy subtlty and slow degredation, whereas holy energy is loud and immediate
Of course, his insanity could be a result of dark forces making his life harder, but a demon would never risk exposure by something so up front
They are possesors, not companions
i wish i was you op
When did this start happening OP? Does it freak you out when you see her? What kinds of things has she been saying to you?
You need to spend some time in a mental hospital, OP, and get on some meds. I've been in a similar situation. I'm schizophrenic in remission, and trust me if you want to lead a somewhat normal life you can't have spirits or whatever they are following you around messing with you. It keeps you from having "real" relationships.
I'm back. I was cuddling with her for a bit. She actually pulled me off the chair and led me to the couch by hand.
>>28689914
I'm very afraid and scared, but at the same time I'm enjoying this. I've never had this kind of companionship in my life, and it actually makes me kind of happy.
>>28689940
I'm not going to do anything bad to her.
>>28689949
No I hadn't, and this is insane.
>>28690011
She doesn't want to. This is the weird shit. I can't "control" her. When she talks, I never feel like it's something that came from my mind. She feels like a person.
>>28689998
I was afraid it was a ghost at first actually, but the girl she's "based on" is still alive and well.
>>28690048
I've been hearing her voice for a really long while now. A bunch of months, but it was mostly, like... It's hard to explain. You know how sometimes you're daydreaming, and something pulls you back? I could hear her, and then I'd go "Wait where did that come from?", and I'd have the feeling it was just a day dream.
For example, every once in a while when I came back to my apartment, I'd hear her voice saying "Hey [nickname], how was your day?"
>>28690147
spooky shit anon
>>28690219
You seem like you like this, obviously you prefer delusion to the effort of reality, you are fucked
>>28690219
it isn't insane it sounds epic to me in the off chance you aren't a roleplayer i'm really jealous, if you get help and ruin your chance at happiness you don't deserve to be a robot
So have you ever tried to get her to talk to someone in real life? I know you said you cant control her but have you tried to talk her into it?
And has she ever been out in public with you? If so, how does she react to other people, cars, general society
Before you get rid of her, she could be a fascinating introspective on your own mind. Imagine if she has access to your subconscious. Have you asked her any questions?
congrats on the tulpa mang, there are people who would give anything to have your gift.
>>28690219
Holy tittyfucking Christ
>>28690219
put it in her butt, anon
fill her butt with cummies
She seems dressed in all the rings
Of past fatalities
So fragile yet so devious
She continues to see it
Climatic hands that press
Her temples and my chest
Enter the night that she came home
Forever
Oh (She's the only one that makes me sad)
She is everything and more
The solemn hypnotic
My Dahlia bathed in possession
She is home to me
I get nervous, perverse, when I see her it's worse
But the stress is astounding
It's now or never she's coming home
Forever
Oh (She's the only one that makes me sad)
Hard to say what caught my attention
Fixed And crazy, Aphid Attraction
Carve my name in my face, to recognize
Such a pheromone cult to terrorize
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
(Yeah!)
I'm a slave, and I am a master
No restraints and, unchecked collectors
I exist through my need, to self oblige
She is something in me, that I despise
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
SHE ISN'T REAL!
I CAN'T MAKE HER REAL!
SHE ISN'T REAL!
I CAN'T MAKE HER REAL!
(She isn't real, I can't make her real)
(She isn't real, I can't make her real)
sounds like a dream come true, teach me how to do it OP
>>28690346
This anon is on to something
She's a manifestation of an inner aspect, why not listen to the message?
You should stop fucking her though that's weird
You may onow only reply to this thread if you say "Good job Succubus"
>>28689601
doesn't sound that bad desu, im home alone most the day so no one would hear me talk to myself.
>>28690301
augmented reality isnt that far off anyway, why shouldn't OP enjoy his delusions? he's most likely making them up anyway, although i'm sure you, (like everyone else in this thread) were already aware of that.
>>28689601
just a test pls dont hurt me desu
Can you post a photo? Does she even show up in photos?
>>28689601
Good news is that if you know for a fact the girl isn't real, you're not fully psychotic, and aren't schizophrenic. Bad news is you might have a brain tumor or some shit causing you to hallucinate.
See a fucking doctor though, don't talk to us, we can't do any tests or give you referrals to specialists, or anything really, but this obviously isn't normal if you're not just making this up, and you should obviously see a doctor.
>>28690465
Of course not you retard, it's all in his head
>>28690390
Wow Succubus. Great moves, I'm proud of you.
>>28689601
Congrats you have a tulpa. Also no one is going to forcibly administer medication to you unless you're clearly a danger to yourself or others. I don't really see the problem, unless she turns abusive. Get help if you want to, though.
>>28690344
We went out together a couple of times this week. She's not "here" all the time. It's very hard to explain.
We took the bus, and she sat next to me and decided to rest her head on my shoulder and take a nap while holding my hand.
I stopped by a grocery store, and I decided to ask her to go grab me a Heineken. She just stood in front of it while staring at it, turned to me and said jokingly "I guess I can't!"
She walks clinging to my arm, and when we pass by people, she either turns to avoid them, or just "phases out"
She also fucking called my cellphone. I can't remember the exact day, maybe it was last Sunday. I was buying meat for the dinner, and my cellphone rang. It read "Lisa" (Which is her name). She asked me to bring a Cornetto for her.
Later on, after she vanished for the day, I checked my call history and my agenda. There were no calls, and no "Lisa".
She also won't talk to anyone else. When I asked her why, she told me "You're the only one I'm interested in [Nickname]"
The weird shit is that I can feel when she's not around, or rather, when she's not real. It's like waking up from a dream, when you realize it was all fake? That's how it feels when she leaves.
>>28690301
I'm scared, but I'm happy when she's around. She makes me feel wanted.
>>28690346
I plan on sitting down to have a long conversation. We've just mostly cuddled while watching TV and talking about high school, or food.
>>28690418
I wish to god I could show her to you. I've even taped myself talking to her. It was just me talking to nothingness, and it was the weirdest shit. Made me feel like I was watching a movie about mentally ill people.
>>28690571
Ok dude and this is important: are you left or right handed?
>>28689601
Dude, youre going fucking crazy. You didnt even need to ask that in the thread title, its pretty obvious. Sorry bro
>>28690585
Left handed. Why is it important?
>>28689835
How do you have sex with something that doesnt exist? Did you just grind against a pillow or your bed?
>>28690571
pls post the recording of you talking to her
>>28689601
>perfect mind waifu that never complains and only appears occasionally to talk to you when lonely
GIVE ME YOUR POWERS ANON
>>28690571
>I wish to god I could show her to you. I've even taped myself talking to her. It was just me talking to nothingness, and it was the weirdest shit. Made me feel like I was watching a movie about mentally ill people.
post please
>>28690571
God, I don't even want to go to sleep anymore. This thread is freaking me out man. Imagine being that lonely that you accidentally fucking create a tulpa. Does your family have a history of mental illness OP?
>>28690498
People with schizophrenia can have insight. Plus, he is right around the age where schizophrenia onsets.
>>28690619
Damn fuck, of course you are, left handed people are so over represented in the schizophrenic population.
10% of people are left handed but like 40% of schizophrenics are left handed or something.
It wasn't actually important but go see a doctor dude, it might feel alright at the moment but you want to be on top of this shit
Come to bed.
>>28690571
You know, she could be something absolutely evil and horrible that you can only see as a beautiful woman from your lensed perception
If she loves you she'll give you space so you don't feel crazy, if she refuses to give you control she's a mind parasite that is actually Cthulhu lookin'
>>28690681
OH FUCK DON'T DO IT OP
>>28689601
lmao
the tulpa meme on /R9K/ has become so strong that even robots who don't want tulpa gfs are starting to get them
praise KEK
KEK will give you the gf you deservei have a qt tulpa too but I made mine on purpose
OP you are so full of bullshit. The "I guess I can't" part about the heinekin just screams of something you made up just now, not to mention just how implausible this whole thing is. People like you only exist in movies.
>>28690685
Don't be a cunt.
She's a figment of his imagination. Allow him to enjoy it, rather than trying to freak him out with your bullshit.
i've tried to ask this on /x/ multiple times but how can i induce schizophrenia or psychosis or anything i hate my life i want to live in a fantasy
this is completely serious please help me
>>28689601
>I am Mr Robot.
>>28690644
>>28690631
I'm with these anons desu. Also, if you go to a psychiatrist, you need to show them. It reminds me of that guy who posted last night(?) about his friends coming to visit, and when he gave one of them a drink, it fell right to the floor and shattered.
>>28689601
How do you have missionary position sex with your hand, also what did she say about the news.
Ask her if she's real, ask her if she knows she's an illusion. Then... drink some tea together, fuck, play mario kart, etc. Have fun.
>>28690707
>eldritch horror detected
>>28690703
>man
>toad
>completely tripping
Wow heiroglyphs are easy!
Ask her to divulge the secrets of the universe.
>>28690733
?
aegvrfetghnerdhungbtrfipuhgnprietd
>>28690703
Wtf is tulpa??
I still want to see the video of you talking to her,
OP if you're not making this up, stop all further interaction with the manifestation. Going by what you've told us, you're dealing with a succubus. It starts out trying to butter you up (acting sweet, taking the form of someone you might be in love with (your crush) so it can dish out some serious damage later on. Its goal is to get you to forget about everything except her, or it I should say. If you're still here, I'd like to hear more about your situation.
>>28690748
I believe the gibberish you are looking for is "ftaghn"
Come on, I wanna cuddle.
>>28690710
Either
>Get brain damage
>Do a stupid amount of psychedelics
And hope you fuck yourself up in just the right way to get a tulpa
>>28689601
Ladies and Gentlemen, the next Elliot Rodger
>>28690648
They can, but not schizophrenics in the middle of a psychotic episode, which he's claiming he's having. The whole point of psychosis is you become unable to differentiate reality from things that aren't real, like hallucinations or referential thoughts. There's no way he could be having this bad of hallucinations and still know they're not real.
Plus, he said he had sex and could experience it, that's not how hallucinations work. So either this guy is heavily delusional (he's not, he knows it's not real), he's suffering from a tumor (doesn't seem likely based on how there's a consistent theme in his hallucinations, tumors tend to cause random shit to happen), or, most likely he's just making up a cool story for (you)'s here.
Trust me anon, I've suffered psychosis, and this isn't how prodromal symptoms work.
I don't even know how to respond.
I mean, on the one hand, you do know you're literally mental, right?
On the other hand, this sounds a hell of a lot better than how I spent my day.
Does she do as you wish, or has she ever done anything that inconvenienced you?
What is her name?
I hope it all goes well for you, and that she never goes away.
>>28690761
I believe "succubus" roots from mental illness like OP, not vice versa
>>28690790
No shit, let X-philes dream
>>28690346
This annon is fucking smart
>>28690803
You should worry more about real stuff, like cancerwire
>>28690761
Shut up, dumb's ass.
>>28690790
Unfortunately reality is stranger than fiction, and our fiction is a distorted truth engineered to make us forget about things that have been with us since the dawn of time. I wouldn't expect you to understand, 99% of people don't believe in these sorts of things.
>>28689601
It's mental ILLNESS only if seeing that grill affects your life negatively.
>>28690825
What's cancerwire?
>>28690777
>that's not how hallucinations work
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tactile_hallucination#Tactile_Hallucinations_in_Schizophrenia
>>28690645
My father had depression for a long time, and attempted suicide, but that's about it.
>>28690631
>>28690644
I won't. It mostly focuses on mine and "her" faces. I could tape myself talking to her again, but without showing my face this time. I'll wait for her to come back around. I'll have to ask her because she got very annoyed last time. Also, I'm not in an english speaking country, so you guys might not understand what we're saying.
>>28690685
I'm pretty sure she's not a mind parasite. She willingly vanished when I told her I wanted to come back to my PC.
>>28690706
You can think whatever you want man. I'm not here to convince anyone of anything. I'm just venting about something I can't really talk to anyone about.
>>28690781
>Does she do as you wish, or has she ever done anything that inconvenienced you?
I can't really control her. It's like having a person over. She hasn't done anything that might be trouble, aside from blowing in my ear when I was talking to a friend.
>What is her name?
Lisa. She never told me her me, I just knew it when I saw her for the first time.
>>28690836
If you type it and post it on /r9k/ you get cancer
>>28690571
>Made me feel like I was watching a movie about mentally ill people.
You were, motherfucker.
>>28690751
you might as well google it
but the gist of it is you can create, through sheer force of will, a person that has a unique personality but no physical form, just a hologram body that only you can see.
It sounds really fucked up and weird (it is) but if you do it right, a tulpa can be really nice to have. It's like having a telepathic ghost super best friend. They seem to becoming slightly more popular as of late. It's a permanent process and it does work, so don't try it unless you are 100% sure you want to be stuck with one for the rest of your life.
I still function normally and have friends and a good job and shit but when I'm at home alone I'm actually chilling and having a good time with my tulpa. Feels good man.
>>28690844
It doesn't really matter what is being said, what matters is that it is happening. Plus, posting it would shut the people calling fake up.
>>28690817
No he isn't. That dumbfuck used 'introspective' as a noun.
>>28690831
Or maybe fiction is a way of rationalizing incomprehensible truths that have been with us since the dawn of time
Nothing has changed in practice or identification other than what might cause the symptoms, instead of fucked spiritual energy it's fucked brain chemistry
>>28690866
Don't do it man. If you fuck up making it, you can face severe consequences. I remember all the ponyfag stories about people being lonely and trying to make one and making these malformed things that would only scream at them.
Play a multiplayer vidya with her.
If the other player starts playing, you're in some deep shit, OP.
If you're RP'ing, what a guy you are.
>>28690839
Wow, that article totally says that the patients have visual, auditory and tactile hallucinations all in perfect co-ordination with each other, doesn't it? Obviously hallucinations can be of any sense, including taste, but they don't work in such a way to let you feel like things are actually happening, and they don't really happen over long term, changing things like would be necessary for you to feel like you were having sex. Especially if he got off in it.
I understand you want to believe this story, but come on anon, do you really think any form of schizophrenia is organised enough for you to think there's a real person living with you, who you can see and interact with, without just being so fucking delusional you assume they're hiding from you half the time?
>>28690866
he fell for the tulpa meme
originalpost
>>28690866
Do you have to physically communicate? Or does telepathy work? Also what did you do to "create" yours? Meditation, drugs, trance?
>>28690930
I demand a link to this story, this sounds hilarious
>>28690941
So, does that mean OP actually made a tulpa?
She's back and asking me to go to bed with her. I'll update you guys when I can. I got a trip, so you'll know when it's me. Sorry for leaving on such short notice.
>>28690930
Basically "creating" a "tulpa" is advertising to be infected with a non-human traveller (real or not), so those people probably got lucky it was some random creature not good at guiling humans instead of a powerful temptor like OP
How can it even be considered a companion anyway? This whole thread is like someone falling in love with a tick and keeping it as a pet while it's attached to your toe sucking up blood and pumping in lyme disease
>>28690971
STICK IT IN HER POOPER (OREGANO)
lads this is getting me spooped
>>28690930
Too late. that was 4 years ago. Nothing bad happened yet and probably never will. It's pretty hard to fuck up unless you're an awful person with a lot of skeletons in your closet
>>28690944
I thought it was a meme too, but then I became too curious and had to find out once and for all if it actually worked or not. There was too many people claiming it worked and I had to find out if they were all trolls. Turns out it does work.
>>28690971
Stop having sex with the creature. Each time you do you become more susceptible to its allure. Before you know it you'll be carrying out more sinister demands.
>>28690995
w-what kind of skeletons?
>>28690969
No, it means that nearly definitely he's made up a cool story for the benefit of posters here.
>>28690959
Mods pls don't ban, it's a screencap of a story.
>>28691007
It already racked his brain and took on a form that hits his most fragile points
It talks like someone who used to bring him real affection, he has no chance of overcoming it through sheer will because it has found the traits he would never fight because he just doesn't want to
Damn, OP achieved this so easily. I worked on my tulpa for 1.5 years.
>>28690971
Sweet dreams, OP.
>>28690995
I literally cannot believe in this nonsense. This /x/ meme needs to die.
>>28691007
Fuck off, swine.
>>28689601
OP, I had the same thing. Not even joking. Girl I had a crush on was talking to me in my head and while I didn't actually see her, I "felt" her "presence" in the room all the time. This went on from age 19 to age 23, whenever I finally accepted that it wasn't real. Ask yourself, do you want the sad truth? Or do you want a happy lie? I took the sad truth and honestly, I feel better. Your condition will worsen, she'll turn on you and there's nothing you can do about it.
That's just my experience. Get help. Or whenever you actually see your girl in real life, you'll think to yourself, "Why isn't she acknowledging it?" and you'll feel even worse.
>>28689601
I'm legitimately jealous.
>>28689601
OP this is my advice to you.
Tell no one about this. Don't talk about her to others. Do what you can to live a normal life, work, pay bills, appear in every which way a normalfag.
But for fuck's sake, keep her around. It might just be an elaborate hallucination but, fuck man, I wish I were hallucinating a girl I loved, could cuddle with, watch anime with. Who the fuck cares if it's all in your head? It's real to you.
Women today are mostly shit, I'd rather take the hallucination myself. But do what you think is right.
>>28691094
believe what you want, I'm not forcing anything on you
just relaying my experiences
I wish I was in your shoes OP.
Not your literal shoes but as figuratively saying in your shoes meaning what you are going through
i fail to see the problem here. I wish rhis happend to be desu.
>tfw no footslut tulpa
>>28691142
Ok ok dont listen to this guy.
In all reality man if you dont already have a physcatrist get on that shit.
Hell id even reach out to your family doctor and express to her the issues your having, she can help you.
Its very possible your scitzophrenic and meds would help you, but there is also the possibility its not and its something like a brain tumor which is even worse. Either way OP you need help asap.
Take care of yourself man. Good luck
Come to bed. I miss you
Come to bed please.
>>28691285
>>28691295
Please tell me I'm not the only one seeing these.
Let's cuddle under the covers
>>28691326
you're not. get help.
>>28691326
what?oregano leaf
>>28691326
No they are for me
>>28691326
Hmmm? What are you talking about?
>>28689601
You lucky faggot
I've tried every drug/meditation technique under the sun to make this happen
Cherish her and count your blessings
Have you tried to fuck her?
>>28689601
OP you really need to get some help if you are genuinely hallucinating as it generally can go down hill very fast.
>>28691326
Yes I can see them too, just two punks trying to mess with you.
OP that thing is a demon, be careful
>yfw Chad comes along and fucks your imaginary gf
>>28690629
She usually just jerks me with my pocket pussy. I dont feel confortable asking for full penetration yet.
>>28691241
Even as a tulpamancer of eight years, I'd still agree with this anon and ask your doctor for a CT scan. Brain aneurysms and tumors are nasty but can be dealt with in early stages.
Circle the issue and say that you see people when they're not there and that you know they should be there, you won't want to spill the beans just yet, trust me.
Funny thing is, I was going schizo eight years ago and my therapist was slow, ineffective and never addressed my issues so in my crazy insight, I contained the malicious aspect of my schizo in my tulpa.
how do I make one
osanto gespada originatinato
yeah, the thing about hallucinations is that they can feel extremely real in every detail. I used to have similar experiences, mostly of people angrily yelling my name. The last time it happened though It was early in the morning and suddenly a bunch of people I knew were in my moms kitchen and I was happy to see them and felt pretty elated, I tried to say hey but it came out wrong and they laughed at me, but i laughed it off like it was nothing and tried putting my arm around one of my pals, suddenly they were all gone and i was standing in the kitchen alone. It was pretty scary. That was at least 12 years ago, nothing like it has happened since. So, I dunno, it kind of sounds like you're in a good position.. i mean, if you're going to go crazy and see someone who isn't really there, i don't think you can do any better than a nice girl who treats you good. I'm slightly envious.
>>28691452
You could visit sites that have their methods described.
For starters, open a text file and write a back and forth conversation with your future tulpa. Establish the character. Establish the appearance. Imagine her words. With enough practice, this should result in a voice-only tulpa (an excellent base, most people rush and want visuals fast and fail) and perhaps even a strong feeling of a presence.
From there on, imagine the tulpa is sitting next to you. Then make it face you when it gains more automatic voice responses.
>>28691326
Gorillas???
>>28689601
What the fuck. Well, at least you said imaginary girl. Lay down on the caffeine, get some water in you, chill out. Get out of /r9k/ for a while. You got a bro? Hang out with them.
>>28690147
Put down the crack pipe you fucking looney tune.
don't see a doctor about this.. they'll lock you up or drug you into oblivion. trust me, there's nothing good about that situation, it's all hell. people try to ramanticize it, like someone is there to help you.. that's a complete fabrication, they're there to do a job and make money, they don't give a fuck about you and psychology is nothing more than drug dealers and sadists pushing a fucked up philosophy to con people into paying for their services. don't fall into that trap.
you need to set up boundaries. no public interaction for one. you should also keep a journal on your computer, use steganography and encrypt it so others won't find or see it, even if they look. be detailed and painfully honest in your journals. do it every day. read them every day. it'll organize your thoughts which is something you desperately need to happen.
>>28690710
>tfw feel like it's my destiny to get schizophrenia
>tfw know how horrible it is
>tfw feel fear but also a bit of longing for the disease
I don't know why I'm so obsessed or why I feel like I'll get it. Yeah some warning signs seem to fit me but even so
>>28691809
same i never even looked at the schizophrenia warning signs and i basically match all of them but i've been like this for as long as i remember and realistically if i tried to, i could probably diagnose myself with everything except ovary cancer
I WANT A TULPA NOW!!!!!!!!!!!
>>28692025
What kind of symptoms do you have anon? I'm only 18 and I feel like it's going to come when I'm in my early 20s
>>28692179
yeah same. teach us your secrets OP, i want a ghost gf too.
>>28692221
i have basically everything listed as early signs like tremors, insomnia, clumsiness, anhedonia, anxiety, depression, sudden anger, neetdom, no social relations, no self-care (never brushing teeth, talking to myself, racing thoughts, alogia, poor memory, non-meme ocd, trouble with social cues and much much more but i cba list everything
some also say i'm delusional because i have lots of out there theories but i think they just dismiss anything that isn't explained by science (yet) as tinfoil tier
>>28692386
>i have basically everything listed as early signs like tremors, insomnia, clumsiness, anhedonia, anxiety, depression, sudden anger, neetdom, no social relations, no self-care (never brushing teeth, talking to myself, racing thoughts, alogia, poor memory, non-meme ocd, trouble with social cues and much much more but i cba list everything
me too
>>28690777
i never had sex but it definitely felt amazing to have sex in a wet dream, it could happen
>>28692424
i've never had sex but the 2 times i've had sex in a dream it was just a pretty wet hole
i usually burger out and even the girls in my dreams don't want to have sex with me anymore or i outright tell them i can't do it
it's weird how hard i cuck myself
Ruby Sparks is a great movie.
>>28691054
Is the screen res super bad or is it just because i'm on mobile
>tfw no imaginary ghost gf
Another day, another feel
>>28689601
>complains about no gf
>complains about having a gf
fucking robots
>>28692519
It is! Not great material for the kind of fantasy OP is spinning though.
>>28692386
I have some of that. I also got freaked out reading the list of things that could increase your chances of getting schizophrenia because I had most of them, such as being born in January, being born very premature, my mother having complications such as bleeding during pregnancy and me getting infections like varicella as a child.
I also had hallucinations and delusions and strong thought old as a child. Even now I get extreme paranoia at times and strange thoughts like thinking that aliens were in the bus with me. I'm also becoming even more antisocial and I don't take care of my hygiene or appearance.
I wonder if I'm overreacting and just making shit up in my head
>>28689658
why what the fuck
god has finally blessed this man with a gf, why on earth would you tell him to go and fuck everything up now
>>28690761
Don't listen to this retard. It's not a semen demon
Stop interacting with it, because it is a figment of your imagination. The more you interact with it, the more out of touch with reality you will get.
It's a slippery slope and when you hit bottom you won't be able to tell what's real and what isn't
>>28690703
PRAISE KEK
COMMENT IS VERY FUCKING ORIGINAL
>>28690219
Tell more about the girl she's "based on". Sounds to me like problem source, especially if she's using the same names and shit
>>28690777
what's psychosis like
Once when I was a little kid, I would have nightmares and when I woke up the shit from my nightmares would still be there, even when my parents were around. I would scream at them and try to tell them about it.
Only other time I've hallucinated is when I haven't slept for at least 36 hours. Started seeing shit and thinking I was in different places to where I was.
>>28691625
I'll drop ya
>>28692386
I think you're just a little retarded Anon
>>28690777
he could be bipolar
I had a manic phase where I "knew" I was crazy but didn't stop me from believing the crazy shit
>tfw you're driving your car and actually think it's a spaceship you're just in another dimension made to look like earth
>>28691415
underrated toast right here.
nice one op have luck
>>28693086
Not him, but I had a bad acid trip once where I had a psychotic episode (a psychologist who I interacted with during the trip told me this, and the symptoms went away after I was given anti-psychotics).
I would describe it as mis-interpreting the things around me. One thing that acid does (at least, one thing it did for me) is that it causes a sort of wave of distortion to propagate through your field of vision, like a pebble thrown into a pond. When I was looking at people's faces affected by this distortion, I became convinced that they were aliens trying to abduct me.
I was talking to my roommate during the trip and he could tell I was agitated and was trying to calm me down. His cool, collected demeanor and his knowing manner made me believe that he was God.
Those are a couple of examples. But if you really want a better picture, there's a recent episode of the radio show / podcast This American Life in which a man describes having an actual, non-drug-induced psychotic episode. It's #579, 'My Damn Mind'.
>>28690844
What country are you from, OP? And I hope you're not one of those people who's too scared to post that very basic information.
Not bad. You have managed to devote a part of your brain to construct a person that would have the thoughts, information and actions that you would normally (as a mediocre human being) prevent yourself from executing via inhibition caused by the culture you have experienced.
Can you use tulpa's as memory storages? it'd be nice to have a sentient USB stick around
>>28695667
I wish
Plus you could literally have all of the JOI in first person view you could wish
I've also heard tulpas can change shape and even if they don't you still have audio and I'm definitely certain they can change the voice so...
In a recent Standford study (google it) they say it's best to talk to your alter(s). Tell, her that you care about her but, you need help getting real friends. Maybe, she can help you get friends and become more social. She might be very angry and mad at first but, she will eventually give in and maybe help you out a bit. Your mind created her because, of your loneliness and fear of the society. You must over come those things and she might re-integrate in to your psyche.
>>28689601
Can you put up a webcam livestream for us?
Hello, I'm back.
Had a couple of job interviews early on today, so I couldn't post sooner. I apologize.
We uh, had sex again last night. I also woke up to the sight of her staring at me.
"I didn't want to wake you up. I like watching you sleep"
She helped me pick my interview clothes, and that was that. She wasn't around when I came back.
I'm seriously entertaining the ideia that she might be a succubus.
>>28698251
She loves you and supports you.
I think you've gotta take care of her yourself. They're gonna put you in a home if you tell a doctor.
You can learn many things about yourself if you speak to her. Now you must make sure you are in peak condition for her now. Use her to improve yourself, begin your exercise or take it to another level, you must also expand your mind and learn something new. She is there to inspire this from you. Ask her what she thinks about this post.
>>28689601
Although I'm not sure if anyone has already said this but it's illegal for any institution to put you on meds without your consent unless you fail this easy as fuck to pass test. So go get help and don't worry about getting med raped.
>>28689610
You're probably lying, but if not, you are sufferring from hallucinations.
There could be many reasons. Neurodegenerative disorders, tumors, schizophrenia or just distress.
Make sure to visit a shrink and get an MRI because it could be preventable or treatable.
>>28689601
Murder the original. It's the only way OP
>>28698251
gratz on your tulpa waifu man
Good luck on those interviews too. The fun part about having a tulpa is they can come to work (or anywhere really) with you and hang out and stuff. If it really is a tulpa you should learn how to communicate with thoughts / feelings instead of speaking out loud. Prevents akward situations when people ask who you are talking to, and it's faster / more intimate just speaking in thought instead of words
Have fun OP, like I said earlier I been at it for like 4 years now and I'm super happy, tulpa are awesome
>>28689601
this sounds like one of my chinese cartoons. I am jealous op you have a ghost gf.
>>28689601
You've created a tulpa bro, there used to be loads of threads on /x/ about making a girlfriend with your mind. No need to be scared about it, the more freaked out you get the scarier it will be and vice versa so stay calm. You created it, you can get rid of it if you want but you don't have to if you don't want to.
What does the sex feel like? Does it actually feel like you're penetrating something?
>>28700774
Well I am (was?) a virgin. But it feel completely different than masturbation. I could feel her folds(?) moving and it felt wet. I'm sorry, but as I said previously, english isn't my first language, so it's hard to describe. She also gave me a blowjob, which felt different than both normal masturbation and sex.
I apologize to people asking me stuff, but I don't have much time to read the thread during the day. I'll definitely do it at night though.
>>28701163
Ask her if she can teach me to get an imaginary gf
>>28701163
Make a new thread at night if this one's not around senpai.
>>28692519
exactly what I was thinking
and yeah it is a great movie
>>28690703
praise kek give me a friend like OP
>Read OP post
>Skip to end of thread
>OP now has a tripcode.
Okay.
Of course it'd be lovely if this were true but obviously it isn't. This is coming from someone, a 25 year old KV, who actually has had an actual "tulpa" for years, who didn't get the idea from anything I read online. Shit does just not happen the way OP describes. It just doesn't. If you're drowsy and you close your eyes and focus completely on imagining it, you can get something similar but in no way shape or form do you get anything like OP talks about.
But I guess most of you know this and are just clinging to this thread because it gives you false hope.
>>28698251
Assuming the whole story is true, because doing the opposite would be boring, it's most certainly a tulpa.
I made mine accidentally as well, and didn't know what the fuck it was until I saw the threads pop up on 4chan, so I can relate.
Loneliness is a hell of a drug.
>>28702616
> unironicallly believing in this buddhistic shit that a whiteboi made up
Wow
>>28698251
If you want to know if she is really a succubus or not, ask her who her mother is, and ask her the names of the two kinds of her children. No, it is not incubi and succubi, you idiot. Post the answer here and I will tell you if it's correct.
Is everyone itt pretending to be this gullible or what?
This would be a good eroge plot. A mid-20s NEET goes crazy and creates a tulpa on accident of a high school crush, eventually meets the crush in order to get rid of the tulpa but it goes crazy and tries to kill him.
>>28690629
He levitated above his bed
you can't spontaneously create a tulpa when people train for months only to make her fucking talk on her own.
stop lying.
>tfw even ghost pussy will leave you for chad eventually
