>ITT: Depression general
When did you find out you were depressed?
Where you self diagnosed?
If so how did you find out?
or seeked professional mental evaluation?
>Greentext story's welcome
am sad
>>28673571
Why anon
Oregano
>feelin bad
>think maybe leaving the house will help
>nothing to do outside house
>decide to see a movie, a disney movie might cheer me up
>see zootopia
>leave the cinema feeling like im at the end of my rope
>everything in the movie was so happy, the characters so nice
>realize I will never get a girlfriend like judy
end me
black fembot here, there's nothing worse than being a black piece of shit. just fuck my shit up desu~ne
>>28673563
>When did you find out you were depressed?
When it got so bad I ended up in a psychosis.
Apparently I had been suffering from it for a number of years, but I just thought "this is not real problems"
>>28673563
Depression is a meme lol
I dont feel bad at all, Im happy as fuck since shitposting here on a reg.
But according to pic related...
GOD help us all.
Reminder that there is no such thing as "self diagnosis" and unless someone qualified says you're depressed, you're just a melodramatic lazy sack of shit.
>>28673628
Nothing bad about being black
I didn't think I was depressed.
I thought depression was just feeling sad all the time.
Then my shrink told me that I have severe depression. Turns out not enjoying anything and being unable to do the slightest thing in my life and a complete lack of motivation is also depression.
>>28673635
Meh I wouldn't trust these kind of tests, I mean according to this I'm a mess
>>28673635
Link to that test
Oregano
>the better I feel the more lonely and angry i become
>used to be numb, but now every time i see a picture of a pretty girl or a group of people i long for it and just feel like human trash
>tfw you realise you'll always be a friendless loser who brings shame to your family
>>28673687
Here you go friend
http://www.celebritytypes.com/global-style/test.php
>>28673610
Why don't you try looking for one at a pet store?
>>28673628
please please please be my girlfriend
>be me
>burning ambition, want to explore every secret of the world and taste every fruit the tree of life has to offer
>be ugly - 5'7, 180 lbs, shit tier face
>be utterly stupid, to the point of being barely able to form a coherent sentence when talking with others
>terrible social anxiety, sewage level self esteem, non-existent social life, KHHV
>very average grades
>be listless, consumed by endless ennui
>be terrible at all hobbies you attempt
There is just no point. 4 months of holiday ahead me, all marked by absolute loneliness. I will rot at home, forgotten, forsaken and forlorn. Why even live? I'll just shoot myself or cook some cyanide.
>tfw you meet an anon who is almost identical to you and your feels
>tfw he makes you feel happy and want to stay alive
I was diagnosed with depression at age 11 you normies
>19
>soon to be twenty
>can't even find a minimum wage job
>still live at home
I'm planning on taking the seven thousand I have saved up and fucking off to a cheap state.
I can't live like this anymore
>>28673728
Sup brad
>>28673708
I dont want a bunny I want judy
>>28673726
Paul? Is that you?
>>28673726
Go fuck him.
>>28673721
You got a higher chance of kissing the girl of your dreams if you go out and travel, I share that dream as well
>>28673638
>Kek
>Feel like shit/Depressed
>"You must be diagnosed by a profissional otherwise you are lying"
>Dying
>"You must be diagnosed by a professional otherwise you are lying"
I've seen multiple shrinks while I've lived like this for over a decade. Tried this medication, that medication, and some other ones, too, but can't be fucked going through hundreds of different pills. I suppose I just need to get lucky for one that works but when so many have no effect, whatever hope you have remaining disappears. Going out, exercising, "just be yourself", getting drunk, nothing works.
I like to think that as some people are born short, some tall, some people are born to be depressed. Obviously I have nothing to back that up so it's nothing more than me deluding myself, but the only roads I see available to myself all lead to becoming a statistic in future. I have no reason to be this way as I have suffered no trauma and had a decent upbringing and did well in school. Never bullied or rejected from peers directly; I did my best to stand on the side lines and act more of an observer than an actual person. Even reading this wretched board takes too much effort nowadays and I'd rather lie in bed.
I believe some of us can make it out somehow yet some are doomed. I certainly feel hopeless and wish others to not fall this far deep. Others have it much worse than me yet I can't see happiness in anything. No dreams, goals, hope, motivation, will to live, nothing. No reason to keep going.
Thanks for letting me whine
>>28673996
Feeling shit about yourself and dying are two very different things you melodramatic, lazy sack of shit.
>>28673563
A year ago I gave in and sought help.
Apparently everyone around me knew but wouldn't let me in on it.. I wish they had. Fixing all of the problems that came with it are proving to be quite the bitch.
Near the end of last year I opened up to my aunt and told her how my heart felt constricted all the time and I were having problems talking with people when I normally were extremely outgoing. I also asked why I couldn't cry/feel at my friends funeral or cry over anything really in the last 6 years.
Silly me never actually took the time to study depression. I thought it were just another word for being sad or my family using it to make fun of me being a weak shutin. So I naturally ignored it and let it fester for a good 6 years
I went to a psychiatrist And immediately were diagnosed with depression/anxiety and got medication same visit. I didn't even say much. She kinda knew everything and even noticed I were self harming when I didn't notice it myself.
I quit taking the meds 2 months ago. I really want therapy instead of the meds. I dont mind suffering through it without the meds but I can do without the suicide thoughts all damn day every day.
Why is it that I know I dont want to die and things have a chance at getting better yet I still have a might need to kill myself? I dont want this. I never wanted this yet it wont jut go away on its own.
>Tfw haven't left the house since finals
>barely any appetite
>eat like one meal a day
This is going to be one hell of a summer..even vidya can't hold my interest. I don't have any friends either to have fun with either.
>Got diagnosed with depression in 2011 after suffering psychological abuse from younger brother (I guess the abuse is what triggered it)
>Since then been on multiple prescriptions , multiple low mood bouts, all resulting in feeling exactly the same shitty mood
When I first got told I had it I had high hopes I would beat it fairly quickly and feel happy again. Now I'm not sure if I even want to feel happiness again, I just want to feel content.
>Tfw being told it gets better
>Tfw you realise that by being better they don't mean overcoming depression, they mean you'll have periods where your mood is not quite so low as it can be
>>28674634
Exactly me. While I had some acquaintances at school and could get some vague social contact, now I'm left all for myself. Until October, I will be alone, desolated, forgotten. The vidya I've hitherto played, WoW and WoT, are getting old and stale - I have no idea what to try next since I barely talk with anyone and belong to no Internet community discussing vidya. Homestuck for 4 months... granted my parents don't coerce me to go to some shithole with them for holidays "so that I don't spend entire holidays in front of the computer."
>>28673635
I wasn't happy, so I made friends.
I'm still not happy.
>>28673635
I'd say mine is fairly accurate. Especially the paranoia.
It's so bad that I just want to end myself.
>>28673628
black bot here, fuck off
from the looks of it 100% senpai.
>>28673705
>tfw click on the bottom ad in the middle of the test
OP here the masochist one is total horse shit
>>28673638
>implying "professionals" aren't normie shit that label any different behavior as "illness"
>>28676310
any link to that test ?
>>28676564
Find something that you love more than the feeling of being ill. Do you have any hobbys?
>>28673563
I am clinically diagnosed with 'severe depression and anxiety'.
I've always known. It's not just 'felling bad', it was utter despair every day, all day.
Been on meds now for 5 years. I'm getting better, I think.
>>28676605
Have you seen how you feel when you're not on meds or have you strictly been on them for 5 years
>>28676623
I've relapsed a few times for a small while, and it's not pretty. I really freak out.
And for a total lack all I have to do is remember how I was for most of my life. That is to say, extremely miserable.
Now I'm only moderately despondent, so it's an improvement I suppose.
>>28676672
Have you ever considered travelling, travelling always cheers me up for a while
>>28676698
Here's to you anon may you make it someday, make everyday after the day you break free count, live it like it was your last
>>28676672
We'll all make it someday lads we just have to go through the hard times
>>28676623
not him but similar. Meds just seem to just make me feel more numb, all the side effects work tho. Like less sexual interest, harder to fap etc.
>>28676744
It's not for everyone but have you tried smoking weed yet?
>>28676784
yeah but only with some friends of mine, who are long gone now. im too dumb to learn to buy online and too scared to ask someone for it irl
oh well
>>28676812
Ask your mate for his connect I know it seems hard to get a dealer but you're already half way there
>>28676743
You never break 'free' from the kind of depression I have. It's a persistent one, and it runs in my family. It will always be in the background, waiting.
>>28675373
Try playing fighting games. They're super complex and the communities at locals are usually great
I'm diagnosed major depressive and GAD. After years of being too afraid of being a college kid who just wanted adderall, I went to talk to my doc about adhd.
Got tested and it turns out I've got a pretty sever case. Once I started adderall 30mg, my anxiety and depression all but disappeared. Turns out ADHD can make anxiety and depression amplify in effect.
Talk to your doc about it if you have any doubts.
>>28673563
I've felt dead inside for most of my life. It just got much worse recently since I fell for the uni meme. Now I've failed out and I spend all day sitting in my room waiting for something to happen to me. I play through old games I liked as a kid but I don't think I'm having fun anymore
>>28673563
I cannot feel anything anymore. I am not even sure what happiness means. I know what will make me happy and doing that is in my reach and doesnt even involve me moving out of my chair, yet I don't have the energy. Everything is numb, head hurts and i cant remember anything in the past few days. I just want to be happy again. What went so wrong?haven't been diagnosed
Seriously though, if any of you dweebs don't have any friends and are good at vidya / have a lot of free time, play a fighting game (actually go to locals, don't just play online). As long as you aren't absolute pool fodder (or get super butthurt about losing) you'll make friends pretty easily
>>28676911
I've had the same effects on adderall but even 6 months after taking it I sometimes get cravings
>>28676918
Beautiful painting, one of my favourites, here's to you anon do what ever your heart desires
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
fuck your low content robot im trying to express my feelings
>>28676981
Have you ever had a traumatic experience in your life?
>>28677085
Yes. I've had a bad childhood and that might be an obvious reason for my current state.
>>28677048
I take that shit on the daily man. Love the feeling of being able to think without my thoughts getting jumbled eight ways to Sunday
Why is everyone in this world so rude? I used to be more callous to it all but lately I've been more sensitive and empathic. I think it's making me a lot more depressed.
OP here, I'm no professional or anything my advice should be taken with a grain of salt
>>28673635
The fuck does this mean?
>>28677105
Any chance that you could lower the doseage? I did 40mg my second time it was quite the ride
>>28673664
According to this test, I shouldn't be able to go outside
>>28677064
This summer I want to devote more time to video game dev, but I never have the motivation to do anything and I know all my games are shit anyway, so we'll see.
>>28677103
Have you considered SSRI treatment?
>>28677154
Yes, but I haven't been to a psychatrist yet and I am afraid by the reaction of my closed ones since I just turned 18 and still live with them. Other reasons is that change requires a lot of willpower and I am not even certain what will happen in that change, but I know I have to force myself to try.
>>28677108
That's something you just have to accept now a days but remember a single kind act can change the mood of tens hundreds even thousands of moods
I.E butterfly effect
Thank you for being a kind person
>>28677153
That's just part of starting out lad 15 years from now when you're making mad bank you'll look back and will be happy with the choices you made, programming is a great career
>>28677184
Just keep at it anon you're young and full of potential I see no reason for you to fail
>>28677218
I am not afraid of fail anymore. Even if I have the potential and manage to achieve a lot, I still will be miserable. The same way I thought that making progress in the gym and progress in school will make me not feet empty. I appreciate your kindness.
Anyone else hate the summer? Fucking normie season. Should have taken a few classes and stayed in my dorm. Can't stand being back at home. At least I could have been a lonely miserable bastard in peace without my family reminding me what a loser I am every day as a spend the summer alone in my room
>>28677186
Thanks, I guess you're right.
>>28677238
It may seem that way now anon, on (you) can change that
>>28677281
That is true. I just need to find a source of energy or motivation. In the end it all comes down to my willpower and activity.
I've been depressed since i was twelve and almost commited suicide three times, now i'm getting close to a fourth. Fear kept me alive those three times and one of them i sought help but nothing really worked that well and i always come back to the start which is depression. I thought if i worked hard enough i could beat it on my own but i was wrong like i seem to be. I know now i will never be happy makes me wonder if i should just end it. I had big dreams before but those dreams crushed me and made it worse. I feel like such a burden on my parents they shouldn't have to deal with someone that can barely take care of themselves like me.
>>28677304
Maybe getting /fit/ can help I hear people who work out in the morning have more energy through out the day (don't ask me how Im not /fit/ it seems like witchcraft)
>>28677203
I've been doing this for a long time, actually. I'm just a failure.
>>28677335
That didn't work for me. I got a really productive day in the gym today, but now I am more miserable than ever. Enough to post here.
>>28677351
By any chance are you a INTP?
>>28677353
How long have you been working out?
>>28677366
2-3 years in the gym.
before that i did 5 years swimming. now im just addicted
>>28677361
Nah, just a guy too obsessed with perfection to ever be good enough to try.
wanna go into programming too tbqh but i fear im not smart enough and will drop out due to depression and being dumb
Why was i born this way
>>28676591
here>>28673705
originaltest
>>28673648
I don't know if I'd go that far, but this is probably the best time to be a non-white in like, ever. Do I think it's better than being white? Not yet, but holy shit if it was by the time I had kids I wouldn't be surprised.
>>28677145
I've tried lower. It didn't work as well. 30mg is what my doc and I settled on.
>>28674025
>Even reading this wretched board takes too much effort nowadays and I'd rather lie in bed.
I can sadly relate. I'd wish I could sleep and wake up like once every week or something.
>>28677384
That's great anon keep using that stride not everyone in programming cares about the perfect line of code some people are just in it for the paycheck *cough EA cough*
i dont really know what i have. Its weird. For 4 years i dont really enjoy anything, dont have any thrive/push to be social anymore or do anything. I do not enjoy rains/sunrises/sunsets. Music is bland and i only feel joy in short bursts when i watch youtube
Sadness only endures sometimes and it lasts for weeks
>>28677419
Do you need to use them every day?
>>28677471
Might there be something in your environment causing this? Do you live alone?
>>28677471
I know this feel. I used to be a normie and they invited me to a christmas party but when i got there it was all so...bland. I didn't have fun, i couldn't open up, had a scowl on my face and the really drunk girl annoyed me so much it was unbelievable. Shrinks say getting out and doing things is a good thing but i absolutely hate it. I hated every moment of it and wished i never went there.
post sad songs guys
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7zHZrcHdxg
>>28677122
That you're an antisocial cunt.
Is your personality type INFP?
>>28673563
>leaving my job again
>whole family thinks I'm depressed
>mother keeps on asking me if its true
>n-no
Its almost always better to suffer alone.
>tfw might be homeless soon and don't even care
i'll probably die on the street
>>28677620
People care about you anon that's something a lot of people in this thread don't have, please do eveone here a favour and don't take hat for granted
>>28677622
Why's that anon?
Oregano
I have avoidant personality disorder and I'm balls deep in depression because of it. I work twice as hard as anybody I know and I still can't build any confidence. I get plenty of girls smiling at me at work but I just automatically reject it because I can't believe a girl would actually be interested in me. I'm thinking of getting an escort, maybe that would help me
>>28677684
no job or job opporutnities
little money
no one to help me
>>28677709
Maybe if you like the taste of sex you'll gain the confidence, btw those girls are definitely into you lad
>>28677741
What I'm hoping is that my brain will realize women are just meatbags like me and that they aren't anything mythical. Every time I do get to talk to one I just get bitter and ruin it because I'm so lonely. I'm at the point where I would rip my legs and arms out for a girl if she asked me to. I can't handle the loneliness anymore
exam tomorrow which i have done 0 studying for and will fail. Because its a social science (Lul) i can get another attempt if i blame my depression. But I still feel awful, I could have passed it easy, but I just sat on my ass and idly browsing the internet for the past like 2 weeks. Feels shit man.
Another night alone watching people on facebook lead better lives than me. Watching the girl I like post status updates about what shes doign with her boyfriend I should really get around to deleting it.
I'm >>28677318
Is there a reason not to kill myself at some point? My life is suffering and nothing will make me feel better. If i gain success i can see it making it worse for myself. What do?
I'm terribly sorry anons but I must go, here's to us hopefully reaching our pink phase
>>28677605
great song
>>28673635
that's normie as fuck
