Holy fuck guys...
>be 28 year old schizophrenic
>haven't taken my medication (latuda) in a week
>haven't left the house in a week
>starting to feel really lonely
>decide that I'm finally going to do something about it
>call 5 old friends of mine and invite them over for some drinks
>surprisingly, they accept
>they eventually arrive and seem glad to see me
>talk with them for at least 2 hours
>having a great time, everyone is laughing and telling stories
>notice that my friend carrie's glass is empty
>say "here, you can take mine. I'll go make another for myself" and reach over to hand my drink to her
>hear a shattering sound
>look down and see my glass shattered on the floor
>the sound shocks me and sobers me u
>look around to see an empty, quiet room
>realize I was just making the whole damn thing up in my head
>sit down in shock and try to comprehend what just happened
>open up bottle of latuda and take 100mg
Holy shit. I wish I was joking. I can't believe I've stooped this low. I should have known that they wouldn't want to see me.
>>28669308
lmao. what did you talk about?
>>28669342
Carrie was telling some story about how her boyfriend cheated on her and how she got revenge on him by spray painting his car. All of that shit was just made up too, sadly
>>28669308
wait so you thought they were there but they weren't?
>>28669308
Post medication with a timestamp and I'll believe you
>>28669378
Yes. I was imagining (hallucinating) the entire thing. None of my friends actually picked up their phones.
>>28669375
She a nice friend?
>>28669390
I wish mine were like that and I could actually have a conversation or listen to them not just seeing shit for a few seconds then it going away
>>28669386
Do this at the very least
>>28669386
Fine. Heres what I'm supposed to be taking.
>>28669454
Ew, you shop at costco
Tfw no imaginary friends to hang out with.
if this is real i feel really bad for you.
time stamp a pic of meds so i can not feel bad feeling bad for you
holy fuck, I didn't know you could have delusions this strong and vivid
If you're 28 and having delusions and hallucinations that extreme than you surely know that it's just going to get much worse over time.
I wouldn't be surprised if by 35 or sooner you became a ward of the state.
>>28669454
>>28669515
nvm sorry i doubted
>>28669418
She was a very great friend of mine. I haven't actually seen her in 2 years.
>>28669426
I've never had anything as in-depth as this. Its normally just a fleeting image or a quick sound. Certainly not an entire person.
Oh wow holy shit man that must be devastating
do you have any other schizo stories
>>28669580
Not him but I get phone calls from my dead sister occasionally
>>28669308
Never stop taking your fucking meds, Anon. That's the rule 1.
>>28669554
I've been smoking and crying for an hour or so now after cleaning up the broken glass. I should have noticed it didn't seem perfectly real in retrospect. Here are some discrepancies in the way it was unfolding...
>friend Eric never gets invited into house but is already sitting down when I look back
>friends have drinks without actually going into the fridge
>one of my friends faces looked strange (probably because I couldn't quite remember how he looked)
>>28669605
fuck meds I stopped taking my anti psychotics
>>28669529
>you surely know that it's just going to get much worse over time.
wait so schizophrenia gets worse?, i thought meds stopped it, I hope youre lying, not OP obviously
>>28669618
OP here. I've been told that it does get worse as you get older and that it doesn't actually go away. The antipsychotics just mask the symptoms and make you too retarded to think anyways.
>>28669454
>>28669308
fuck i was doubting your story
but now i don't know
either way you are fucked
like lost cause going to end up in a padded room fucked
This is creepy and I would like more schizo stories.
NOTE: sorry for your suffering. However, at least your experiences make good creepypasta-lite.
OP here. I'm gonna try to go to bed now. You guys can keep discussing mental illness and such without me.
>>28669678
yeah, I always terrified by psychosis
>>28669308
My brother is your age. He's a schizophrenic too. Just take the medicine, hope for treatment in the future. It's literally more or less debilitating as blindness. Just take the meds, go to college, get a job.
>>28669618
Not OP either
>19
>diagnosed
>before, would just have blobs of color
>now have fully formed insects and spiders in my peripheral vision
>mfw I realize I will be like OP in 9 years
>>28669640
>I've been told that it does get worse as you get older
Really now, but the meds barely do anything if i get worse then they will not even work anymore wtf do i do then?
>>28669308
Holy shit man, that sucks.
Out of curiosity, how would you have initially called them? Did you actually call someone or just hallucinate the whole thing?
>>28669785
I called them but each one apparently went through to voicemail. I just kept talking to them after the beep like they had picked up.
On a side note, I really am going to bed now, so you guys will have to continue the mental illness discussion without me.
>tfw father has schizophrenia
>tfw could develop it myself because genetics
I-I'm scared...
>>28669833
How old are you, anon? Usual onset is around 20.
What an unfair hand you've been dealt, OP... this story breaks my heart. I love you, brother. No shame in taking the medication you need - you deserve a better life, and I hope the meds eventually give that to you.
>>28669850
>Usual onset is around 20.
I-I'm 19...
>>28669833
>because genetics
my grand father was the only member of my family with schizo besides me, he was demential i fear for the moment i get to basically become him
>>28669308
Anon I wish I could hug you right now. You don't deserve this. Nobody does. I seriously hope things get better.
>>28669833
My mother has it and so does my Uncle, except they had an extremely late onset, about late 40's, same thing happened with my Grandmother apparently.
I am so fucked, but at I got a good 20 years left
>>28669308
Damn son this is the saddest shit ive read for a long time. I hope you know that if i was your friend i'd have shown up for reals.
>>28669882
>>Usual onset is around 20.
>I-I'm 19...
Fuck fuck fuck fuck.
My grandmother, dad's mom, had schizophrenia.
Therefore, 1/4 children will have it on average. My mom had 4 and one miscarriage.
>smoked lots of weed
>developed psycotic delusions
>went on assault spree
>put in mental hospital
>diagnosed schizo
>take meds for a month
>stop taking meds
all delusions are gone now. thank god I stopped taking the meds. they would have just fucked up my shit more
>>28669618
Yes, it's a degenerative disease. As you get older, your brain gets smaller and you get crazier.
>>28669607
>>28669882
Oh shit son, I am so so sorry, I hope one day you get enough medicine to be okay
Not sure what it was, weed induced paranoia or something else, but for a short period in my life i was convinced that I was seriously fucked up and everyone was hiding it from me. Every time I walked through campus, all eyes were on me.
>walk through campus
>someone says something about an "autist"
>they were talking about me, I knew it
>my eyes get a little watery due to allergies, but back then I thought that I actually was crying in public and I had to wipe my eyes to stop the tears
>"was that guy crying? is he okay?"
>I would "hear" people say that, but really it was just my mind morphing words
>its sunset, everyone on campus looks like a shadow because of the way the sun is
>they are giant shadows, they are all staring at me, "the freak", the psycho craziest kid on campus that everyone tells stories about
Went away after a while. Not sure what caused these thoughts.
>>28670100
Weed can trigger Scizo, you know.
Number one reason I was really hesitant to try it, I have like 20 more years, why risk them by trying it?
It didn't trigger it for me, but if I smoke too much I green out and get very paranoid and I have to lock myself in my room and writhe for the rest of the day
>>28670100
>>28669971
I'm really afraid of smoking weed or taking drugs like LSD because of these reasons.
>>28670100
That just sounds like classic high anxiety dude. Freaking out about people knowing you are high or judging you. Know that most people you think that of are just as scared of the same thing but vice versa. Try whipping the penis out in a large group of people and exclaiming "NIGGA PLEAAAAAAAAAAASE" as loud as possible to gain the most possible attention. After this, nothing will quite scathe you again and you may once again walk the halls as a MAN!
this sounds really scary. i'd kill myself if this happened, i'd literally go insane because my grasp on reality is already loosening. I'm sorry OP.
>>28670285
Nigger thats the worst idea Ive ever heard
>>28670263
I got HPPD from LSD, there's cause for concern indeed. Think it also might've induced some mania.
>>28670312
don't knock it till you've tried it big boy ;P
Schizo anons, what were some of the early indicators that you were going crazy? I'm worried because I occasionally see things that aren't there, or misinterpret things that are there. Like I'll see bugs on the wall in my peripheral vision, but then I'll turn and it's nothing. Or I'll think a folded up blanket is my dog, and I'll pet it and be confused. It doesn't happen all the time, but it's worrying. I've also become increasingly suspicious of things that could watch me, like I'll consider the fact that any mirror that I can't see behind could be a one-way mirror that people are watching me through. Or I'll think that people are reading my posts as they're sent from my computer, looking for anything suspicious or criminal. I know thinking those things is silly, but the thoughts keep popping into my head and making me uneasy.
>>28670204
Not that much actually. You should avoid mushrooms
>>28670432
Latent Scizo here,
I don't think that you are experiencing early symptoms, I mean I have that too, and my normal friends seem to relate when I bring this shit up, you'll be alright, friend.
>>28669308
Holy shit, reminds me of a benadryl trip
>>28670482
I was actually planning on stopping weed after last time, really intense paranoia nothing like other times. Scared the shit out of me haven't smoked since.
As for shrooms, thanks for the heads up, it was one of the three drugs I was going to give the a-ok but now definitely not.
>>28670510
Oh good, thanks. I'm probably just paranoid due to being a shut-in NEET.
>>28670510
Another anon here, could I ask a few questions?
Were you born during the winter, particularly July? Were you born premature or did your mother have complications during pregnancy? Also did you have any weird delusions or hallucinations as a child?
Apparently this stuff has a connection to development of schizophrenia so I'm wondering if you can confirm with your own experience
>>28670546
whoops I meant January not July kek
>>28670536
Yeah it's from being shut in for sure.
As a child (keep in mind I was always trying to find a sickness in myself) I watched the Truman Show and I was fucked up for months and I couldn't even take a shit without being terrified of people watching me.
>>28669607
It sounds like a dream-state where you simply aren't aware enough to notice all the unreal nonsense going on. Awful stuff OP.
>>28670546
My mom, Uncle, and Grandmother had a variant of Scizo which is extreme late on-set, late 40's they were triggered and just full out went batshit.
I was born in August, right on time, but as a child I was always aware that there was something wrong with me, and any idea of sickness stuck with me. For example, when my mother went Scizo, she had dellusions of ticks and mites crawing and biting, so constantly I was paranoid of bugs and scratching at myself out of anxiety.
>>28670546
Also, the idea of being watched would infect me for months on end, already said to another anon, but the Truman Show fucked with my tiny child mind for months, if not years.
When my Scizo uncle came to live with me and my mom, he would show me all these conspiracy youtube vids, fuck me up even more.
>>28670613
>>28670656
I had some pretty weird thoughts as a kid. Whenever I went to bed I would hear my heartbeat in my ears and I thought it was some kind of demon warning me to be good. My family is atheistic so I don't know why I thought about demons.
>>28669616
Why'd you stop? Please anon, start taking them again or ask your doctor for replacements.
Dude take your meds it helps, I might not be schizo but I'm bipolar and I'm even on that very med. latuda helps me be more level and less angry I don't know it's mode of action but if a doc prescribed it and they aren't total assholes who don't care they prolly think it will help
>tfw you'll never experience schizophrenic episodes or extreme mental illness
JUST
>>28671032
Trust me man it's not fun my bipolar has gotten to points where I would want to kill my friends and I did shit I would never do in my calm and rational mind. I burned huge ass sections of my arms just to prove to my friends that they were being assholes (I don't really have words to explain but it made sense at the time) and I've done strange shit like trying to kill people and stayed up for days and days with paranoid thoughts about my friends hating me and trying to kill me.
