I will never have a true companion. Someone who likes me for me. Someone who enjoys spending time with me and whom I enjoy spending time with.
I've had friends and girlfriends but they never stuck. No one has ever truly clicked with me. I thought my ex did but it turned out to be just a facade. Heartbreaking.
I feel like I'm destined to be alone. Anyone else?
>>28659782
Yeah of course. It's easier to work on accepting it than to continue dealing with the oscillation between pursuit of companionship and recoil from rejection.
>>28659883
What helps you accept it? How do I find happiness in solitude?
>>28659782
you have yourself, deal with it emotional faggot.your mind and body will never leave and will always be with you
>>28659918
I find it's easier to deal with being alone when you're not surrounded by other people.
And in general you need some hobbies you're passionate about and some sort of social outlet (i.e. 4chan), maybe a pet, happiness in solitude is a product of being content with yourself and your environment. For example I live near a forest, and I'm currently working on lifting, and mathematics, and gardening, which keeps me content, aside from the obvious shit like vidya and anime and drinking. I get some interpersonal interaction from my fellow PhD students but it's all rather transient.
>>28660046
I socialise at work and I've been working out at home to get in better shape. All of my social interactions feel transient as you put it.
My only real passion is programming but I get burned out on that from work. Not sure what else I can do.
I appreciate the advice.
Sucks not having anyone to take along with and do stuff.
All always just seems to come back to find a job with no connections and maybe someday you'll make some type of friend. I'm starting to get convinced I need to leave where I live at this isn't much of a life. I was talking to someone and they were telling me the same thing for the most part it's difficult not getting depressed trying to act on their advice because it takes time and just stuck in the same old rut. I been trying to focus on exercise stuff in the mean time and while I'm making progress it's just so fucking slow and it seems like the more I do it the worse I'm getting.
After 24 it got easier, but I get mild panic attacks sometimes in sleep.
Part of me will never accept it.
I still hope.
