>tfw no interesting anecdotes to tell
>>28659720
there was the one time that you made this thread and then i told you to kill yourself
>go on r9k
>try to think of a story to greentext
>can't, decide to fap instead
With you there family
>>28659720
>not stealing hilarious greentext stories from ALL boards to make normies laugh
Try this one.
Synap tee woyan to a bar: sonethen, pounge and lev. So pounge says to the bartender, "How's cannate?". Bart says sem, "Four ten pound."
Erbody tye, erbody tye - erbody ten.
I laugh every time.
>>28659854
I loff'd
>>28659720
Just make them up, seriously.
>"Did I tell you the time when I used to be a dumb frogposter?"
>tfw a ton of stories to tell
>Mfw I feel like people don't want to hear them
>Mfw most of them involve underage drinking
>>28659720
>everyone is telling stories
>can't remember a single one you'd want to tell
Are you sure you're not like me and just have a shit memory, op?
Who /reuses anecdotes people tell them ad your own/ here?
>go camping/carping in eastern washington with my best friend back in 11th grade
>steal 40oz's from walmart
>bring weed
>proceed to get absolutely crossfaded
>get in our mexican ponchos
>get in our boat
>aimlessly boat around the lake
>end up completely lost
>pull up on some random shore
>pass the fuck out
>mfw we had to paddle all the way back hungover as fuck
>mfw i will never tell anybody this story because he's my only friend still and he's going to college in indiana while i'm in oregon
>>28659720
> tfw all my anecdotes are about my degenerate teenage behavior back when I still had friends
Almost all of them involve me throwing up or someone seeing my cock, it's a shame I'll never be able to tell anyone
>>28661531
>All mine are about getting high or drunk as fuck and jerking off in random places
I was a piece of shit teenager
>>28661531
Tell some to the denizens of your favorite sudanese red solo cup enthusiast forum
>>28661555
Same, especially with the jerking off. My favorite memory is the first time I bought alcohol
> Be 15
> Want to show off to my friends and buy some beer
> Make a shitty fake ID out of photocopying paper and an old railcard holder
> Look about 19 so it should work
> Buy a bottle of vodka and two six packs
> Get stopped by a security guard who spends 10 minutes examining my ID
> Covered it in Russian writing so that it was less recognizable
> He eventually lets me go when I explain that I'm foreign
> Get home and just want to get drunk
> Don't know how cocktails work, so just mix vodka and Carlsberg together in a wine glass
> Drink a couple like this
> End up pissing out of my mouth for four hours straight
I'm also pretty sure I had nicotine poisoning at the same time t b h
>>28661571
Well I had one here >>28661571
But I also have a decent jerk off story
> First day at new school
> Autism apparel, shitty haircut, the works
> Have to stay after school ends for some induction shit
> Decide to wait in the toilet since I have no friends
> Space out and start jerking off
> Hear voices outside the door
> Try to ignore, start jerking harder
> Hear the door knob turn, assume they'll leave when they find out it's locked
> Door swings open; Principal, vice principal, and gym teacher all see me in a poncho jerking off
> Don't know what to do so I just freeze
> They quickly swing the door shut
> Accidentally shart very loudly as they do it
Probably why I became a robot
>so anon, what's new?
>oh you know, the same old
Every. Fucking. Time.
>got a fortune cookie with nothing in it
>>28661799
Top fucking kek, smooth
>Be 14
>go to the beach at night with my 5 friends
>bring joints a 2 bottles of shitty vodka with a few 2 liters of fanta
>smoke a whole joint and get high of my ass
>spend an hour staring at the waves and absent mindedly drinking my vodka in the plastic fanta bottle
>O fugg i just accidentally drank the whole bottle
>proceed to puke like 12 times
>friends end up super fucked as well kek
>we all stumble a half a mile at a snails pace to my friends house that we were sleeping at
>keks were had
>be physics student
>accept questionable components because no funding
>almost die several times
>>28659720
>first day as a security guard circa may 2015
>lady steals $600 shoes from the shoe department and tries to speed walk out
>ohshit.jpg
>security guard coworkers sprint out of the room and tell me to watch the camera
>they go to apprehend her but she goes full blown ape shit
>I can see she's screaming and punching my coworkers
>they throw her on the floor and hand cuff her
>when they bring her back to the office I use needle proof gloves to go through her pocketbook for stolen merch
>find heroin and heroin accessories
>"excuse me ma'am what's this?" I ask
>"that's my insulin"
>"then why is it brown? >:("
>"oh uhh it got dirty"
I memorized her name and everything, shameful thing is that I saw her on the news the other day for stealing a shit load of things with her son. Will post a link to it if anyone wants to see what a degenerate junkie looks like, they included CCTV footage kek
>>28659789
Remember when normies used t be disgusted with 4chin?
Now they just laugh...
>>28662173
link it up niqqa
